New Beginnings At Glendale Hall

by Victoria Walters

  I was still sure that I had done the right thing in telling him that I wasn’t in the right place for any kind of relationship but my heart just didn’t seem to want to get on board, and it ached with missing him. I had to actively stop myself from calling him or walking past the church, and I was sure that he was avoiding the High Street in case we bumped into each other. His words kept going through my mind again and again. I kept thinking, what if I had just kissed him? What if I had said we could be together?

  And I knew that I still could, which was why I made sure to stay clear. My resolve was much easier to stick to when he wasn’t there in front of me. And there was so much to do and think about that it did keep getting easier. I couldn’t stop myself from hoping though that he would wait for me, even though I felt like I shouldn’t. That I should tell him to move on and forget me. And then I worried that he would do just that. Would he really wait for me? Was what we had really that special?

  I broke down and confessed all to Beth one night as she helped me make croissants. ‘I should have told him that we could never happen, shouldn’t I?’

  ‘No, you were honest, that’s all you should have been,’ she replied. ‘Brodie is a grown man, Em. And it sounds to me like he’s fallen head over heels for you. Anyone can see that you’re right for one another but sometimes the timing is wrong, sometimes life gets in the way. I mean, look at me and Drew. And you’re pregnant too – wow, history really does repeat itself.’ We smiled at one another in recognition. ‘Not to mention how hard you’re working on this business. Of course you haven’t got the headspace yet to start something with him. And I know you’re still worried about hurting Greg. Brodie gets it. I’m sure he does.’

  ‘But how will I know when I’m ready?’

  ‘You will. I think things will work out just fine. You just need to have a little faith, right?’

  ‘I’m sure that’s what Brodie would say.’

  ‘Exactly. He believes there’s a greater plan, and maybe he’s right. All you can do is focus on the now, and everything else will fall into place, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘You didn’t used to be this optimistic,’ I grumbled a little as I rolled out pastry, working my frustration into the dough.

  ‘I didn’t used to have faith that things would work out for me but look how they did.’ She chuckled then. ‘God, I’m so smug, I hate myself.’

  ‘I hate you a little bit too,’ I said but I smiled at her. It was lovely to see her so happy. Life had certainly sent her on a rollercoaster of ups and downs through the years but she had made it out the other end.

  I just hoped that I would too.

  * * *

  The day before the opening, I moved into the bakery kitchen to prepare the cakes that would be available on the menu at the launch. It was a muggy but grey day and I threw open all the windows in the kitchen, getting hot as soon as I turned the ovens on, pulling my hair into a messy bun, and wrapping an apron tightly around me. The recipes were all fine-tuned but there were still nerves running through me as I mixed up cake batter, hoping that everyone would like them.

  I knew from working with Molly that you only had one chance to make a good first impression – if people tried my cakes and liked them then they could well be customers for life; if not, then the whole enterprise could sink.

  Usually baking relaxed me but I knew today that was going to be unlikely. I turned on the radio though and tried to stop thinking about the opening and just focus on the cakes. I managed to lose myself in the task enough that when the bell rang in the shop signalling that someone had come in, I only heard it vaguely and stayed where I was, pouring ginger cake mixture into a loaf tin.

  ‘Em?’

  I jumped out of my skin as a voice said my name from the doorway to the kitchen. I looked up and only became more startled to see Greg standing there. ‘Oh my God!’

  Chapter Fifty-Eight

  Shocked at Greg’s sudden appearance, I continued to pour the mixture and realised I’d poured too much when it overflowed from the tin over my nice new, shiny, counter. I stopped hurriedly and put it down, wiping my hand over my face, smearing myself in cake mixture.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Greg asked, stepping further into the kitchen, smiling a little at my flustered reaction to his entrance.

  ‘I’m fine, fine!’ I trilled. I grabbed a tea towel and wiped my hands and then my face and then reached over to turn the music down to more of a background volume. ‘What… I mean, how are you here?’ I asked him, recovered enough to just about form a coherent sentence. I was able to peer at him then, face clean of cake mixture, and noted that he looked thinner than I had last seen him but his skin was tanned, his face was unusually free of facial hair, and his hair was cut a lot shorter, showing off his eyes and the smile on his face. He looked far more relaxed than I felt.

  ‘I got your invitation – I mean, my parents did – and I wanted to come up and see the place, and support you, but I wasn’t sure I could deal with a big launch party,’ he said. I knew he had left the rehab centre a few days ago and his mother had told me he was living with them and was doing a lot better. But of course it wouldn’t be easy at an event with strangers, especially as we were all planning to go for drinks after the bakery shut.

  ‘That’s really sweet of you. I didn’t expect you to come. I mean, I wanted to see you but I knew it was a long way, and you’ve only just come home,’ I said, babbling still. ‘Anyway…’ I shrugged out of my apron and went over to him. ‘Is it weird if we hug or weird if we don’t?’

  ‘I’ll take a hug.’ He reached for me and pulled me into his arms, giving me a warm hug. When we pulled back, he smiled, looking down at my bump now visible without my apron covering it. ‘Wow, you’re so much bigger! And blooming. You look great. Are you well? Everything is still okay?’ he asked, catching my babbling a little.

  ‘I’m fine. I’m little bit stressed about tomorrow but we’re okay,’ I replied. ‘Actually, let me just…’ I turned and put the new batch of cakes I had made into the oven. I set the timer. ‘Right – we have about forty-five minutes until they need to come out.’

  ‘This place is great,’ he said, walking back into the bakery and looking around. I followed him and smiled at how impressed he seemed. ‘It’s what you always wanted, isn’t it?’ he added, turning around to look at me. ‘Fancy a quick walk before you need to get back to the cakes?’

  ‘Okay,’ I agreed, wondering what he wanted to talk about. I locked up and followed him out onto the High Street. There was a bit of a breeze outside at least to cool me down a little. I was nervous of seeing someone I knew but we walked side-by-side towards the park without bumping into anyone.

  Walking through the gate, we weaved our way down the path, the green stretching out beside us. A dog-walker nodded hello as he passed by.

  ‘So, how are things?’ I asked Greg. It was incredibly strange how you could go from living with someone and sharing a life together, to having no idea what was happening with them, to be reduced to small talk. We reached a bench and Greg suggested we sat down.

  ‘Better,’ he replied, once we were seated. ‘It’s been so hard. I wanted to give up so many times while I was there, and almost did, but somehow I made it through. It does get easier every day, but I think it will always be there. It will always be something I have to work at. Recovery has no expiration date, as my therapist says.’ He smiled then. ‘God, look at me, quoting my therapist.’

  ‘You definitely seem to be doing a lot better,’ I told him. ‘I’m pleased.’

  He swivelled to look at me. ‘Thanks. It means a lot, you saying that. Especially after everything I put you through. Your letter really helped me, Em. It gave me a much-needed push. To know that I was doing this in part for our baby. It got me through some really dark days.’

  ‘I’m really glad it helped. This baby needs both its parents.’

  ‘It’s generous of you – you could quite easily have disappeared from my life with our baby, and I wouldn
’t have blamed you.’

  I nodded. ‘I want her to know you. As long as you’re in a good place, obviously. I will protect her but you know that. You’re a good man, Greg. You just got lost somehow along the way, and I didn’t notice until it was too late. I should have seen it and made you get help sooner.’

  ‘None of this is your fault, I promise you that.’

  ‘I’m just glad you’ve got the help you need now.’

  ‘I have. And look at you – your very own bakery. I’m really proud that you’ve done it.’

  ‘Well, it opens tomorrow, we’ll see how it works out. I’m nervous,’ I admitted. ‘Especially as it’s not too long to go before the baby arrives. I hope I can cope with it all.’

  ‘Well, I have no doubt you will,’ Greg replied. ‘And I can come up whenever you need me. I think I’ll stay at my parents for now. I’m still on leave with work, they’ve been great actually, and it’ll take time to rebuild everything. But I’m determined to. When things are better, maybe I can be nearer you both. But I’m not ready yet, I know that.’

  I gave his hand a quick squeeze. ‘I’m proud of you.’

  ‘So, how are you finding living back in Glendale then?’ he asked, looking a little embarrassed by my words.

  ‘I’m enjoying it. I really like the peace and fresh air but… it’s the people. They all feel like family already, and everyone has been so helpful with the bakery. I couldn’t have done it without them,’ I told him.

  ‘You deserve it. It’s going to be a big success, I just know it. Your cakes will soon be world famous.’ We were silent for a couple of minutes and then Greg sighed. ‘When I went into treatment, I still had this fantasy, you know, about you and me, and our baby, how we could be a family. But I know that’s impossible, I put you through too much. I lied; I hurt you; I broke your trust. I just want you to be happy now. I want you to have the life you want. You really do deserve that. You’re really special, Em. I know I didn’t treat you how you should have been treated. I hope that one day you’ll find someone who will do that.’

  I listened in surprise at his urgent words, my mind involuntarily moving onto Brodie. I knew he would treat me how I deserved. He always had. ‘Greg…’

  ‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘Don’t say anything. I just wanted you to know that. I’ll always love you, you know?’

  I smiled. ‘I’ll always love you too.’ He covered my hand with his and we sat for a few minutes more, holding hands, thinking of the past, and of the future, and how different they were going to be. ‘I’d better be getting back,’ I said, finally.

  ‘Of course. I’m going to head back on the train soon. I know it’s a long way but I had to see you and wish you well. I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow.’

  ‘Thank you for coming. You deserve it too, you know. To live the life you want, I mean. And to be happy.’

  Greg leaned in and gave me another hug. ‘We got one thing right, didn’t we?’ he said, his hands resting on my bump.

  I smiled. ‘We did.’ I would never be sorry about being with Greg because of that. And I knew he felt the same way. Some things just didn’t work out but that was okay, because there was usually a reason for them. Our reason was our baby. And that was a pretty bloody good one.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  I woke up at what felt like the middle of the night still on launch day, nerves and excitement acting like an alarm clock. I jumped up to look out of the window, my heart sinking a little on seeing that it was raining outside. I hoped it wouldn’t put people off from coming to the opening. At least it would make people fancy a cup of a tea and a slice of cake. I had to be at the bakery ridiculously early to bake the bread, and Aunt Sally had offered to help me. Jules and Lucy were coming in time to open up with me, and I was glad that they’d all be on hand to help.

  Jumping in the shower, I pulled on jeans and a white shirt. I slipped into my Converse and tied my hair up, and then I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs where I made tea and warmed up two croissants. Aunt Sally came down soon after, yawning, and we had a quick breakfast in silence, still both trying to wake up. She drove us into Glendale, which was a ghost town at this hour and we went into the bakery, switching everything on, and pulling on our Emily’s Bakery branded aprons.

  ‘How do you feel?’ Aunt Sally asked as she started rolling out dough on the counter.

  ‘Like I can’t quite believe it’s actually happening. Remember when you taught me to bake? Did you ever think we’d be here now?’ I asked, sliding the pastries I’d pre-made yesterday into one of the ovens.

  She chuckled. ‘No, you burnt the first cupcakes you made.’

  ‘Well, let’s hope that doesn’t happen today.’

  Once all the bread and pastries were in the oven, we switched on the coffee machine. Dawn came and the sun rose, pushing away the rain thankfully, and soon the bread was ready for cutting, and the pastries were crispy and warm, and we laid them all out on the shelves behind the counter. We’d made sourdough and rye bread as well as cheesy white bread, and bread with cranberries and cashew nuts in, which was absolutely delicious with cheese. We had croissants and apricot Danish pasties as well as pain au chocolat. I’d made Belgian buns, and we also had scones with jam and clotted cream on offer.

  And then it was time to put all the cakes under the counter. I had named them all for the special people in my life to mark today. There was Beth’s wedding cake; the cupcakes I had made for Molly, the ones which had got me the job with her; there was carrot cake for my mum, her favourite; brownies for Aunt Sally; the dreaming bread which I couldn’t resist adding Brodie’s name to, remembering his housekeeper telling us about the wedding tradition behind it; and shortbread for Rory and Heather. Not forgetting chocolate cake for Izzy. I’d also made a Victoria sponge, which had my dad’s name on it, and lemon drizzle for Caroline and John.

  And then there was the final cake. A traybake of sponge covered with icing, sprinkled with hundreds and thousands. It had been my favourite cake to make growing up. I cut it into chunky pieces, smiling as I labelled it ‘for bump’. I couldn’t wait for the day I’d get to bake it with my little girl.

  ‘It all smells, and looks, delicious,’ Aunt Sally declared as we stepped back to look at our handiwork. I smiled with pleasure. Even my mouth was watering.

  Lucy and Jules turned up then, and put on their aprons. We laid the tables with flowers and menus, made sure the chalkboard was written correctly, put on the radio, and made fresh orange juice. We then made up two sample trays for people coming to the launch of everything we had on offer.

  Then Beth and Drew arrived with Izzy in tow, carrying balloons, which we hung around the bakery. The bunting was already up above the shop, and we opened up the door, turning the closed sign to open, as the clock ticked towards opening time.

  ‘This is it then,’ I said, looking around, unable to see anything glaring that we had missed.

  ‘People are starting to arrive,’ Beth said, looking outside. ‘Shall we go out then?’

  I nodded and led the way. I thought gathering outside would lend more ceremony to the occasion as well as hopefully pulling people just walking by to the event. Plus, if everyone I had invited turned up it would be a squeeze to fit them all inside anyway.

  Lucy and Jules picked up their sample trays and followed me. Outside, a small group were indeed gathering, to my immense relief.

  ‘Hi, I’m Steve, from the local paper,’ a man said, approaching me, a camera around his neck.

  ‘Thank you so much for coming,’ I said, shaking his hand. He asked a few questions and then said he’d be taking a few photos. Heather appeared then with Rory and she led me around, introducing me to anyone in the village I hadn’t met yet. She really did know everyone.

  ‘Emily!’

  I turned around to see my mum and dad arrive with Caroline and John, who had picked them up at the station. Caroline had insisted that they stay at the Hall while they were up here. I found myself being bear-hugg
ed by my parents so tight, I had to squeal that they were squishing the baby.

  ‘I haven’t had dreaming bread since I was a little girl,’ a grey-haired woman exclaimed from behind me as she examined the sample tray.

  ‘This shortbread just melts in your mouth,’ her friend told her.

  ‘This is the best chocolate cake ever!’ Izzy said at my elbow then. I smiled with relief that everyone was enjoying the cakes.

  ‘A great turn-out,’ a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Brodie had arrived, along with Gloria, his housekeeper. I opened my mouth to say something but then Lucy called my name frantically, pushing through the group to get to me.

  ‘The samples have all gone!’ she cried in horror.

  ‘Right, fill up another tray and then we’ll do the speech and try to get everyone inside and hopefully buying something,’ I told her in a low voice. There was quite a group outside the bakery now but I was waiting for one more before I officially opened it.

  Finally, a car drew up, and out climbed Molly. ‘Darling,’ she breathed when she saw me, gripping my arm and looking up at the bakery. ‘It’s perfect.’

  ‘Do you really like it?’ I asked, clinging to her a little bit.

  She beamed at me. ‘It’s just how I pictured your bakery. Emily, you’ve really done it! I couldn’t be more proud!’

  ‘It’s all thanks to you.’ I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as she protested my words. ‘You have to try a Molly’s Cupcake,’ I said, nudging her towards Lucy and the cakes. I heard her gasp in delight when she saw them.

  I went over to the doorway of the bakery then and called out for everyone’s attention. Slowly, a hush fell and faces turned to me. Only a month or so ago, I would have been nervous to address people like this. I realised now that I had lacked confidence. I had kept putting off trying to realise my dream because I was scared but I had learned that I was far more capable than I gave myself credit for. I had so much more confidence in my abilities now, but I also had people around me helping me to be more confident. And they were all with me today to celebrate something I had wanted since I was a little girl. There was really nothing to be scared of. There was much to be proud of instead.