by Willow Aster
“I could do this with you forever,” he says, looking into my eyes. “But ahhh, you feel a little too good.” He starts to pull out, but I press him in deeper with my feet and hands.
“I want all of you,” I whisper.
“God, you’re too good to be true,” he says as he spills inside of me.
I stare at him through it, in awe of the way his emotions play out on his face. He’s a revelation and I take in every second, every twitch, every groan, putting it to memory. Nothing will compare to him. Ever.
Chapter Eighteen
Jadon
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I ask when I lie beside her.
I push her hair back and stare in her violet eyes, hoping I’ll always remember what she looks like in this moment. It’s going to torment me and be my salvation, losing her. I already know this, and yet I’d dive headlong into her again and again, given the chance.
“I’m so good. I’m sore, but in the best way.” She tickles my chest with her slow sweep across my skin with her fingertips.
I close my eyes and enjoy the moment, already wanting more of her but trying to quiet my body down. It’s hard when just being near her is a craving I can’t fill.
“I’ll be right back,” she says finally, getting up slowly.
The bathroom is just a few steps away and she gets up, letting me enjoy the view of her glorious backside as she walks away. I hear the toilet flush and the shower running and when she opens the door, the light hits her and she looks like walking sunshine. I stand up and her eyes roam over my body, lingering on parts of me that can’t be ignored.
She grins. “You didn’t get enough?”
“I don’t think I could ever get enough of you.” I trace circles on her stomach and up to her nipple, covering her breast with my hand and squeezing. “Let’s clean up and then I want to kiss you more.” I move past her into the bathroom.
“I want to do all of that again,” she says.
I turn and her mouth parts, the little seductive princess wrapping me around her finger even more.
“I’m yours.” I kiss her lightly. “I’m yours,” I whisper again when we step into the shower. Fuck me, I’m hers. How the hell did this happen?
There’s not much room, but we wash quickly and then I lean her against the wall of the shower and kiss her like a man on fire. I can’t get close enough and when she moans into my mouth, her body pressed as tight as she can get, I lift her up and wrap her legs around my waist. She shudders against me when we line up just right and I remind myself to keep taking it slowly.
“Tell me what you want,” I say into her mouth.
“I want you every way I can have you. I want to memorize you until I can close my eyes and feel every part of this, years from now when it should be impossible. I need more,” she whimpers when I put my fingers between us and tease her. “Please. Mark me. I need to have proof you were here.”
“Fuck, Delilah. You’re making me crazy.” I kiss her hard, until we’re both panting and when she reaches down and touches me, I lose my mind. I carry her out of the shower and we fall on the bed, still completely wet.
I make sure she’s ready and then slowly fill her again. She doesn’t want slow this time, though. She grips my hair in her fists and thrusts back hard, making my head fall back. I roll over and pull her on top of me, teasing her with the tip of my cock until she cries out.
When she’s slowing down from her high, she whispers, “More.”
It’s all I needed to hear and I roll her back over and fill her to the hilt. “I want to stay right here forever. In. The. Air. With. You.” With each word, I slide all the way out and then back in, until she’s gasping, her whole body shaking. “I don’t know if I can let you go,” I whisper into her hair so soft that she can’t hear me.
I know I can’t keep her.
But I also know I won’t ever be able to let her go from the grip she’s got on me.
Ever.
Nothing has ever felt like this.
“Delilah,” I whisper, looking in her eyes again. “You are…everything.” I thrust all the way in and twist my hips in a circle, over and over and over. Until my vision goes black and I see stars.
I’d like to say I go easy on her, but every time I try to kiss her and be gentle, things heat up again and she climbs on top of me like a tiger about to pounce. I cannot quench her thirst and I’d like to think it’s me, that I’m what she can’t get enough of, but part of me knows she’s also chasing an escape. Her life changed forever when she ran away, and now she’s going back to uncertainty. I want to give her what she needs and she doesn’t want to think about anything but this moment.
“What is your favorite way to do this?” she asks when we’re catching our breath.
“Have sex?” I say, laughing. “Can you not say the word?”
She flushes and I laugh harder. We’ve had sex three times now and she’s still shy with me.
“What’s your favorite way to have sex?” She leans her head up on her elbow and smiles at me, her cheeks red.
“So far, every time with you is my favorite.”
She rolls her eyes. “You don’t need to feed me lines. Tell me. What position?”
“I’m not feeding you anything. I am starving though. Aren’t you?”
“There will be plenty of time to eat…when we’re apart.” Her voice changes when she says that, and I reach out and touch her face, eager to see her smile again.
“Food, blech.” I make a face and my heart feels buoyant when she laughs. “You’re much better than food. Sex…it’s different with you.” I bite the inside of my cheek, not wanting to make this too serious, but wanting her to know I don’t usually feel this way. “I think every position we tried would shake heaven and earth.”
“Yeah,” she whispers, leaning over until her forehead touches mine. “What is that about?”
I tap her heart and then lean down to tweak her nipples because I can’t get enough of them. “There’s something in here.” I tap my heart. “And here.” I tap her temple and then mine. “And in here. Between us. Do you feel it or is it just me wanting to believe you feel the way I do?”
She runs her hands through my hair and bends down to kiss me. Her tongue caresses mine and I jolt to life again. “I feel it too. So much. I-I don’t know how I will ever le—” Her voice breaks and she kisses me again. I want to hear the rest, but she holds me firmly in her grip and we get lost in each other.
This time when our bodies come together, it aches. It’s poignant, the way we move in sync. I hear her call and answer it; she seeks my void and fills it. We are one in the most profound way. Two lost souls who have never wanted anything more than to be loved.
Saying goodbye to her feels like saying goodbye to light.
To hope.
To a future.
The end of life as I’ve always known it.
Chapter Nineteen
Jadon
The last twenty minutes of our flight, we return to our seats, but this time, my arms are around her and her head is against my chest. Our fingers are entwined and I kiss her hair every few minutes. When she lifts her face to look at me, I kiss her.
When we land, I panic. I turn to face her and grab her face. “I don’t know how to do this. This is a terrible idea. Let’s turn around, get out of here. It’s not too late. I can’t lose you.”
She’s shaking her head even though her lip is clenched in her teeth and tears are welling in her eyes.
“No, Jadon. It has to be like this. You think I could live with myself if I caused more people to die? It’s the only way. I don’t want to marry Avaban, but if it puts a stop to this, it’ll be worth it.” A tear drops on my finger and I let out a string of curses that would make my father turn in his grave. “You’ve given me something that I’ll never forget.” She closes her eyes and kisses me one last time. “Thank you,” she says when she pulls back.
She undoes her seat belt and stands, wiping her face and strai
ghtening her shoulders like she’s bracing herself for battle. I stand and wrap my arms around her, hugging her tight against me, and she melts into it for a few seconds, but then pulls away.
“You need to go.” Her fingers tease the scruff on my cheeks and brush over my lips. “Goodbye, Jadon. Please be safe.”
She backs away and I tug at my hair and lift my hands to the ceiling of the plane, hitting it.
“We’ll be doing everything we can to put an end to this,” I say as she walks away. “Watch your back every second,” my voice raises and she keeps walking. “Dammit, Delilah. I don’t want you to go.”
She turns as she reaches the exit and one of the guards starts to open the door. She smiles at me, her eyes caressing me the way they have all day.
“It has been the most beautiful day,” she whispers, lifting a hand to her lips and kissing it before extending it to me.
And she’s gone in the next breath. The guards walk off with her and when they’ve alerted me that she’s reached the car safely, the pilot backs the plane up and gets us out of there before anyone knows I’ve accompanied the princess.
Back to being alone.
Exhaustion sets in on the way home. I still can’t sleep. Everywhere I look, I see her. I go to the bedroom and just stand there, my mind replaying every way I had her. Eventually, I give in and crawl into the bed, wishing I could rewind this day and start over. I’d savor every second even more than I did. I wouldn’t waste any time being so suspicious and cautious. About an hour before we’re supposed to land, I fall into a deep sleep and wake up to the pilot announcing that we’re landing soon. I scrub my palm over my face feeling like death with crispy burned edges. I shouldn’t have let myself fall asleep at all, but my work will be cut out for me as soon as I get off the plane.
I check my email for any surveillance updates from the guards with Delilah, but there is no word. This is torture. I should have insisted she stay.
And be like her father, basically keeping her under lock and key?
At least I would’ve kept her safe.
And content.
My blood heats at the thought of her writhing under me and I rub my eyelids, unable to get her out of my head. She’s awoken a beast within me that I didn’t even know was there…I’m reduced to an animalistic need for her. A devoted dog whose heart beats only for their owner.
I wonder if she knows she claimed me from day one.
Later that night, I get word from Lostrand, my inside source in Alidonia, that Delilah has arrived at the castle and so far, there have been no major disruptions.
“I have a friend in the house,” he says.
“That friend is one hundred percent trustworthy?” I haven’t stopped pacing since I got home and now is no different.
“He despises the Farthings and wants to see the king brought down even more than you and I do.”
“But will he also protect Delilah?”
“He will.”
“Okay, I trust you, Lostrand. If you see Delilah without cover, can you swear to me that you’ll forget everything else and protect her? I don’t feel right about sending her back to the wolves.”
“I swear to you, I won’t let you down, King Jadon. You can count on me.”
“Thank you.”
I slam the phone down and put my head in my hands. Delilah is our best hope of keeping an all-out war from breaking out, but I’ll only be able to hold King Otto’s family for so long before they demand justice. And it might only be a matter of time before Farthing goes after all those who were at Delilah’s press conference. I hate what this requires of Delilah and am not going to rest until I figure out a way to get her out of there before she has to sacrifice herself to Avaban’s will.
She went in not expecting a way out, but I’d rather die than see her marry Avaban.
Or anyone but me.
I slam my hand against the wall repeatedly, the pent-up anger forcing its way out of me. I don’t know what I’m thinking.
I will never marry Delilah.
Chapter Twenty
Delilah
I expect to see my father right away, but I’m shocked to see not only Caulder with him but Avaban himself. My blood simmers seeing the three of them together, looking smug as I walk down the long hallway toward them.
They stand there looking like a combination of pious and poisonous with their heads held high and the anger dripping through their veins as they try to intimidate me. I don’t know why I’ve never seen the way Caulder looks at me, like he owns me yet despises me. I avoid looking at my father, not wanting to see the truth. I’m afraid it will crush me and I need to remain strong in all of this.
I get within a few feet of them and stop. My father takes a step forward and then walks the rest of the way, his shoes echoing around the room. I feel the rage before I even look in his eyes and then I feel it in the handprint he slaps across my face, my head jerking to the side with the force of it.
I hold a hand to my cheek and stand steady, my insides quaking, but my will keeping me from showing it.
“How dare you disgrace me like this. I’ve never been so ashamed of you. I’ve only asked one thing of you your whole life…you’ve lived a sheltered life of luxury, wanting for nothing. And you repay me by going against me in this way? Who helped you escape?”
“Marrying this man is the one thing you’ve asked of me?” I fling my hand toward Xang. “Is that what you’re saying? No, Papa. You didn’t ask that of me. You sprung it on me in front of hundreds of people because you knew how I’d react!”
“Who helped you escape?” The vein on his forehead bulges when he yells and he staggers forward, his hands clasping around my neck.
“Papa!” I whimper. “Please, you’re hurting me.”
He drops his hands and backs away, his chest heaving. He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his face. “I can’t even look at you right now,” he says under his breath. “You sicken me.”
My lips tremble, but I am stone otherwise. If I let it, the hurt will bring me to my knees.
“I came home.” I look past my father to King Avaban, who stands watching the whole thing with disinterest. I’m nothing more than a pesky flea on one of his dogs. “I’ll marry Avaban and we can put the whole thing behind us.”
“It’s not as simple as that,” Caulder says, smiling. “When you let all of those monarchies toss in their alliances, all boundaries went by the wayside. You have waged war with your dramatic behavior. And you’ll pay for that.”
“This discussion is between my father and me.” My voice is cold and final when I look at Caulder. He bristles, but I’m not the first one to look away.
“You need to watch your place,” he mutters under his breath.
“I think you’re the one who needs to watch your place, cousin,” I spit the words at him, unable to hide how much I hate him in this moment.
It hits its mark and he steps back, his face turning into a splotch of red.
“Now, now,” Xang walks toward me, holding a hand out, “let’s not discuss wars just yet. We have a wedding to see about.”
“I’ll need some time to plan it,” I cringe when he squeezes my hand.
“I don’t think that will be necessary, not after your dramatics,” he says under his breath.
“You have six weeks,” my father says. “We will need to do damage control and see where things are with the Sea of Caninsula. I hope you don’t rest knowing there is blood on your hands,” he says, leaning into my face.
“I didn’t kill anyone, Papa. This is on your hands. I will marry Avaban if, and only if, you put a stop to this madness.”
“It might be too late,” he says.
“Things are going to change around here,” I say loudly, making sure Caulder can hear me on the other side of the room. “I will be involved in the discussions between you and our advisors, and Xang, you and I will get married in six weeks here, where we will later reside.” My voice shakes, but I figure there’s a reason they wa
nt to marry me off. What’s the worst that can happen to me before the wedding? “I’m the next in line and Papa isn’t well enough to handle things here without me.”
Caulder sputters, talking under his breath, and my father doesn’t look much happier. Xang just smiles like it’s the best deal he’s heard in a long time, and I vow to get to the bottom of his agenda.
“You’re not going to be able to run this kingdom on your own,” Papa says. “I don’t know what fancy ideas you got in your head over the—what, forty-eight hours or so you were away? But I’m not dead yet. Everyone can just back off and let me run this the way I see fit.”
I hold back everything I want to throw at him, all the thoughts I have about how awful I think he is, how my view of him has flipped upside down and now I’m siding with the enemy…I keep that to myself and nod.
“Yes, Papa,” I say like a trained monkey. I nod at Xang. “It’s time to start planning a wedding.”
I rush to my room and fall face forward on the bed, the adrenaline in my body nearly causing me to vibrate with nerves. That went better than I expected. It won’t be easy to stomach dealing with Avaban when he has my family backing up everything he says, much less marrying him—but I can’t think that far ahead right now.
One day at a time.
And for this day, I’ve experienced all that my mind, body, and soul can deal with.
I lost my virginity.
To the enemy.
And it was the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me.
I came home to face the father who betrayed me.
He didn’t kill me. But he didn’t welcome me with open arms either. It remains to be seen how our relationship will play out. This is uncharted territory. I’ve never been at odds with him. I hate it.