When the night was over and they’d thanked their hosts and said goodbye, the three of them retraced their steps, not speaking until they were far, far away. Grace couldn’t stop thinking about the family, about what they’d sacrificed to have enough food to share with them. It had been a lovely night.
‘What was that animal?’ Eva whispered. ‘I just couldn’t eat it with its eyes watching me.’
Grace cleared her throat. ‘Eva, come on. Whatever it was, they shared what little they had with us. And it was actually delicious.’
April nudged her with her shoulder. ‘I thought so too.’
‘Give me roast beef, peas, and apple pie all in the same bowl again any day,’ Eva whispered. ‘Seeing an animal on a plate with its head intact is too much for me. My hands are still shaking. But you’re right: it was so generous of them to share it with us.’
And as rain suddenly started falling, pelting the ground around them, they all huddled together and quietly made the long walk back to camp. Grace thought of Teddy, wondered where he might be and whether he’d have shelter. Whatever it was they’d eaten tonight, she bet any of the soldiers out there fighting would have given just about anything to be eating it. And she’d happily go back for seconds if she ever had the chance, even just to be with a family for a night. For some reason, even though it was so different, it still reminded her of home.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EVA
Eva stared down at Arthur’s face, so peaceful in slumber, yet so pained when he was awake. She resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his skin, wanting to comfort him even though he’d made it so clear that he didn’t want any contact. Not from her or anyone. But it was only early days, and she had time on her side, as well as patience.
Whenever she sat with him, she relived the moment over and over again—the way his face had crumpled, his guttural moan as she’d told him what had happened. When she’d sat and waited for him to come out of surgery, she’d expected the horror of finding him to be the thing that weighed on her mind, but it was the very raw moment at his hospital bed that still plagued her.
‘Arthur,’ she said as she took his hand, shuffling closer and smiling down at him, hoping he could tell how much she cared.
He looked up, smiling back at her, clearly trying to push himself up but groaning from the effort.
‘How long have I been out of it?’ he asked, motioning for the water. ‘I’m so thirsty.’
His voice was thick and raspy, as if he had gravel in his throat.
‘A week,’ she said. ‘Your injuries were severe, and your surgery took hours.’
Eva held the cup for him, keeping the straw still and watching as he greedily drained the water. His side profile was so handsome, his jaw strong even beneath the stubble, his eyes bright despite how sick he’d been. She imagined he would have carried more weight usually, but for now his cheekbones were prominent.
‘Arthur, I’ve been with you since you arrived. I, well . . .’ Her voice trailed off, and she set the water back down, reaching for his hand again.
‘What’s wrong? Did something go wrong in surgery?’ he asked, confusion echoing across his face.
Eva took a big breath and squeezed his fingers. ‘Your surgeries were all successful, and you’re expected to make a full recovery. No one expected you to survive, but you’ve shown true strength in your recovery.’
‘When can I get back to my unit, then? I’ll go stir crazy waiting in here; I need to get back into the sky.’
She blinked away a tear and then another, trying desperately to stop them from falling. But she was no good at hiding her feelings, and the look on Arthur’s face mirrored her own, his smile falling as a mask of horror was cast across his features.
‘Arthur, I’m so sorry to tell you that one of your legs had to be amputated.’
He thrust upward, hurling his body up as he stared down at his lower half. His bellow echoed through the hospital, a bloodcurdling yell that sent waves of pain ripping through her body.
Arthur’s eyes met hers, no longer bright and blue but instead like tumultuous ocean water, swimming with shock, pain, and horror all blended into one.
‘I know this is hard to come to terms with, and you’ll first experience sadness and then anger. It’s all normal, it’s—’
But he never let her finish.
‘Leave me!’ he screamed. ‘Leave me the fuck alone!’
As her thoughts drifted back to the present, she noticed Arthur stir, and she shuffled her chair back a little. He hadn’t spoken to her since that day, and she was never sure how angry he’d be, although every day seemed to get worse with him rather than better.
The moment his eyes opened, she smiled and reached for his water. Every day she hoped that her smile and presence would help, that she could show him that every day became a little easier to deal with, but she wasn’t convinced that it was working.
‘Good morning, Arthur,’ she said brightly.
He just stared at her before rolling slightly and shutting his eyes again.
‘Arthur, would you like water or—’
‘Leave me.’
Eva sat silently for a moment, trying to choose the right words. She couldn’t imagine what he was going through, the devastation he must feel at what had been taken from him, but she could never seem to say the right thing to convey how she felt.
‘Arthur, if there’s anything you need, I want you to know that I’m here for you,’ she said quietly. ‘I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but you’re not alone in this, okay?’
He kept his eyes shut, still with his back turned, and Eva heard the matron calling names. They were supposed to have a meeting before her shift started, and she was running late from sitting with Arthur for so long.
Reluctantly she rose, setting his water back down and patting his shoulder, before heading toward the mess room. There were other nurses already filling the room, and she stood just inside the door, finding her way to April.
Her friend turned, smiling and making space for her.
‘How’s Arthur this morning? Any change?’
She shook her head. ‘None. I think he’s withdrawing even further.’
April put an arm around her. ‘I know we’ve all said it before, but he’s just another patient, Eva. We all get attached to some of the men, but the way you’re . . .’ April’s voice trailed off.
‘The way I’m what?’ Eva whispered, head bent as the matron started to address the room.
‘It’s almost like you think he’s connected to Charlie. We just don’t want you pinning too much hope on him, and the way he’s treating you is appalling.’
‘We?’ she hissed. ‘So you and Grace are talking about me?’
April sighed. ‘We’re just worried about you—that’s all.’
Eva took a step away from April, fuming as she listened to the matron talk about supply shortages and changing rosters. She knew Arthur wasn’t Charlie—of course she did—and what was wrong with trying to help a man she felt a connection to? April reached for her hand, and Eva let her, not wanting to cause a rift. April had been unfailingly kind to her, a loyal friend, and as much as she didn’t like hearing what she’d just said, she’d rather have a friend who told her the truth than one who told her only what she wanted to hear.
If Eva had thought Arthur was difficult before, she’d come to have a new appreciation of just how difficult nursing him could be. She stood by his bed, smile fixed, ready to pepper him with care and kindness.
‘Leave me!’ he barked, glaring at her with such hatred in his gaze that she almost turned and walked back the way she’d come. But if she did that, she’d be neglecting her nursing duties, and the one thing she’d never be was negligent when it came to her work. And she also wasn’t the type to give up on someone.
‘Arthur, I know this is difficult, but I can make this fast if you’ll only let me—’
‘What part of leave me are you not understanding.’
&n
bsp; He was sitting with his arms folded, his head turned away from her to show her a profile that would have been devastatingly handsome had his lips not been pulled down into a scowl. Or his brow furrowed with anger, causing his eyebrows to knit tightly together.
He didn’t look at her again, so Eva moved quietly around him, filling his water cup and taking a deep breath before reaching for his bedsheet to take a look at his leg.
‘I’m just going to check your dressing to make sure it’s clean,’ she said.
The sheet was pulled up quicker than she could look. ‘There’s no damn leg to look at, is there? So why don’t you go help someone who wants it.’
Eva nodded, turning away and swallowing down the words she wanted to say to him. What was wrong with him? Wasn’t he happy to be alive? She wanted to curse him and cry out that he was so fortunate to have made it, that her Charlie would have done anything to still be alive, that she’d have sacrificed anything to have him here. But she didn’t. Instead she walked away and decided to come back to him after she’d seen her other patients.
‘It’s all right, love,’ a British soldier said as she passed his bed. ‘He doesn’t mean to take it out on you.’
Eva stopped and refilled the soldier’s water cup. ‘I just have to figure out a way to help him—that’s all. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually.’
Trouble was, her belief that she could get through to him was fading, even if she didn’t want to admit it yet. She’d expected Arthur to be grateful that she’d saved his life and stuck around to help him, but instead he seemed to hate her.
‘Just give him time. He’ll appreciate you soon enough.’
Eva smiled and gave the soldier a pat on the arm before continuing on, checking dressings and trying to take temperatures despite the mercury being so hot it was useless, until she ended up beside Grace.
‘How is he today?’ Grace asked. ‘Still grumpy as a bear with a thorn?’
Eva groaned. ‘Worse, if that’s even possible. I know it’s a lot for him to take in, what’s happened and all, but he’s so ungrateful.’
Grace gave her a quick hug. ‘Then tell him that. There’s nothing that says we can’t be honest with our patients. Show him that spitfire of a woman I met in Pearl Harbor. You remember the one who barked orders as if she were a sergeant?’
Eva laughed. ‘Have you and your sister been talking again? Because I’m not under any delusions that he’s Charlie, not after the way he’s treated me.’
‘Then tell him the truth. It’s about time he heard it instead of you pussyfooting around him.’
She took a deep, shaky breath. Her old confident self seemed hard to remember now; it was as if the bombings had stripped her of everything that used to make her feel alive. When Charlie had died, a piece of her had died too. ‘Promise you’ll come pick me up off the floor if it doesn’t work?’
Grace grinned. ‘Oh, it’ll work. Trust me.’
Eva turned and straightened her shoulders, staring at Arthur’s bed. ‘You’d better be right,’ she muttered.
She marched back over to Arthur, smiling to herself as she approached him. He could be rude to her all he liked, and it wasn’t her problem if he was ungrateful for his life being saved. She was going to smile and chat with him and thoroughly ignore his behavior until he started showing her the respect she deserved.
‘How are you doing now, Arthur?’ she asked. ‘It’s time for me to check your dressings and take your temperature.’
He didn’t even look at her. ‘I thought I’d already told you to go away?’
She kept smiling. It actually made her feel better just keeping her smile intact, grinning away like a Cheshire cat.
‘Arthur, I’m sure you can understand that I have a job to do. So I’m going to go ahead and do it, and you can either talk to me and enjoy the company, or you can sit there all full of misery, but either way I’m doing my job. Are we clear?’
He turned then, and she nearly lost her nerve. His sharp blue eyes met hers, and just when she thought he was going to smile back, just when she thought that gaze was going to soften, he slapped her hand away without saying a word.
Eva ignored him, swallowing down her anger as she reached for him again. This time when he slapped, he connected with her metal tray of equipment, including the bowl of saline water that she had in case his wound needed to be cleaned.
The liquid dripped down her front. It wasn’t the wet patch she cared about—it wasn’t large and would dry soon enough; not to mention it was better than blood splatter, which she’d become all too used to—it was the way he just turned and stared the other way as if he’d done nothing. Without saying a word. She’d seen this behavior before, knew exactly what a bully looked like, because she’d grown up with one as a father, and she wasn’t ever going to let anyone treat her like that again, no matter what the excuse.
Fire rose within her as she breathed, feeling her nostrils flare as she waited for him to apologize. Eventually she bent and retrieved her things before straightening and considering the man lying on the bed before her. What was wrong with him? How could he be so rude, so nasty, when he’d managed to survive an accident that should have killed him!
‘You owe me an apology,’ she said quietly, gritting her teeth as she waited.
Arthur didn’t say a word.
‘It’s my duty to nurse you to the best of my abilities, and I don’t appreciate you making my job so difficult,’ she continued, grabbing the sheet this time and pulling it back so hard he didn’t have a chance to stop her. Holding the sheet out of reach of a man not used to balancing with one leg was cruel, but so was he.
‘Get away from me!’ he yelled.
Eva’s heart beat fast and loud as the ward seemed to fall silent behind her. She had the distinct feeling that she was being watched, that all eyes were on her, including Arthur’s.
She took a step closer to him, refusing to break his steely gaze. When they’d rescued him, carrying him desperately to the hospital, she’d stared into those eyes and thought they reminded her of the ocean. Now, they were so cold they reminded her of ice.
‘You let me do my job as quickly as I can, I leave you alone,’ she said. ‘We don’t have to talk, we don’t have to have any other contact, but you need to let me check your wound.’
Arthur looked like he was going to explode, and she had no doubt that if he’d been able to walk, he would have swung his legs down and marched off, never to be seen again. But that was the problem—he couldn’t walk away no matter how desperately he wanted to, and her heart broke to see such a strong, capable man struggling.
He never replied, but he did finally look away, and she tentatively touched the bandage around his stump, methodically checking the color of his wound and making sure there was no gangrene or other infection setting in. Arthur had had general surgery as well, to repair damaged internal organs, and she carefully raised his shirt to check that was healing. He grunted when she touched him, and she hesitated before stepping back and letting out a breath she hadn’t even known she was holding.
‘Thank you, Arthur,’ she said, pulling up the sheet and tucking him back in. ‘I’ll come by soon with your lunch and to see if you require any morphine.’
‘I’m not hungry,’ he muttered.
She paused, wondering if she’d already pushed him far enough or whether she needed to be assertive again. Eva studied his face, the strong angle of his jaw, the broad shoulders that were impossible not to notice even as he sat slumped in his bed.
‘You should eat,’ she said gently, reaching to touch his arm and then thinking better of it when he flinched before she’d even made contact. ‘I’m not going to force you, but it’s a waste of good food, and you’re only going to make yourself sick if you don’t.’ She watched him, wishing there were a way she could get through to him. ‘I’m sorry, Arthur. I’m so sorry for what happened to you, but it doesn’t have to define the rest of your life, not if you let me help you.’
She turned to leave him, waiting for a beat, almost expecting him to say thank you or apologize—something, anything. But he didn’t.
Eva walked away and saw Grace with a patient, but her friend paused to give her a quick thumbs-up as she passed.
‘I think he’s warming to you,’ Grace whispered.
‘Warming? He’s as cold as the South Pole!’ Eva muttered.
But when she caught Grace’s eye, she couldn’t help but laugh. And if she hadn’t laughed, she’d have cried.
‘Excuse me—that nurse over there said you’d know where to find a pilot by the name of Arthur?’
Eva looked up at the deep male voice, almost dropping her pen when she found two airmen dressed in uniform standing in front of her.
‘Sorry—I didn’t even hear you approaching. Come this way,’ she said politely, beckoning for them to follow. ‘You’re colleagues of Arthur’s?’
They both nodded.
‘Yes, ma’am,’ the same man said. ‘We thought he was dead. Everyone did.’
Eva sighed. ‘I certainly didn’t think he was going to make it when we found him. He was already half-dead then.’
‘You were the one who found him?’ the other man asked.
Eva slowly nodded as she watched the surprise show on their faces. ‘Yes. I was with two friends, other nurses, and we struggled back with him.’
‘He must be so grateful,’ he said.
Eva laughed and pointed toward Arthur, who they’d moved to the far end of the ward now so he could stare at the blacked-out window. ‘You’d think so, wouldn’t you?’
They both looked confused, and she waved them on, eager to watch Arthur’s response to his visitors.
‘You’ll see soon enough.’
They took off their hats and walked toward him, and Eva pretended to be busy checking something so she could watch. Sure enough, just as she’d expected, they both took a huge step back as Arthur first ignored them and then turned nasty; he yelled at them to leave him the hell alone and folded his arms again, slumped forward and staring at the window.
The Girls of Pearl Harbor Page 20