They were walking back out again within five minutes, heads hanging. She was starting to think she’d done well suffering through his behavior for so long when no one else could handle him for more than a few minutes.
‘I’m guessing he hasn’t always been like that?’ Eva asked when the two men stopped beside her.
They both looked bewildered, the confusion etched on their faces. One of the men ran his fingers through his hair, tears shining in his eyes.
‘That’s not Arthur,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Did he have a head injury? Did something happen to his brain?’
‘Arthur was the best,’ the other said. ‘He was clever and quick witted, never missed a chance to give someone a ribbing, but when it came to flying, he was single minded.’
‘Losing a leg has affected him terribly,’ Eva explained in a low voice. ‘Most men are grateful to live at all, but Arthur’s been difficult since the moment he woke up. I think he wishes he was dead.’ Her tongue struggled around the word, hating the sound of it as it passed her lips. Dead. She’d seen enough death to last her a lifetime, and yet Arthur seemed to resent that he hadn’t died like all the other poor men who’d probably have done anything for a chance at going home, able bodied or not.
‘We’ll come back on our next day of leave. I hope he gets, well, easier.’
Eva nodded and watched them leave. She hoped so too. Nursing him was taking up all her energy, and she alternated between feeling sorry for him and wanting to beat him around the head and scream at him.
She cleared her throat when she approached his bed, although she was certain he knew exactly what was happening around him despite pretending otherwise.
‘Your friends were worried about you,’ she said, checking his water and then picking up his chart to read for something to do. ‘They told me that you weren’t usually so uncommunicative.’
Arthur still didn’t move. Or speak.
‘Would you like me or one of the corpsmen to help you move?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want you getting bedsores from sitting in the same position.’
That made him turn. His head slowly moved, and she shivered when his cold eyes locked on hers.
‘Bedsores?’ he asked. ‘I couldn’t give a damn about bedsores; I’m a little more worried about the fact I’m missing my fucking leg!’
Tears sprang into Eva’s eyes as he swore at her, his anger palpable as he glared, the pulse frantically beating at his neck and the bulge on his forehead impossible to miss. Her father had been cruel and physically nasty to her, but she’d never had a man swear directly at her like that before.
Refusing to give in to her fear, she stood her ground, biting her tongue, wishing she could scream and yell at him.
‘Did you hear me?’ he asked, his tone low.
‘Loud and clear,’ she whispered, struggling to find her voice. ‘But if you think that you can swear and yell at me to make me go away, then you’re sorely mistaken, because I’m tougher than that.’
He continued to stare at her when she expected him to look away, but she almost felt as if April and Grace were right behind her, giving her strength and telling her to stand up for herself.
‘The way I see it, you’ve pushed away everyone who cares about you and every nurse who tries to come near you. But I’m tougher than them,’ she said, then cleared her throat as she stepped closer, not afraid of his gaze now as she set her hands on the edge of the bed. ‘I know how to deal with a bully, because I’ve had to live with one my entire life, so that’s enough. Do you hear me?’
‘Leave me,’ he muttered. ‘Just leave me the hell alone.’
A tear slid down her cheek, followed by another and another. All this time she’d waited to shed tears over Charlie, to sob her heart out, and they’d stayed locked inside of her. And now here she was, standing before a man who seemed to hate everything about her, and her emotions were no longer being held prisoner. ‘No.’
Arthur didn’t say another word; he just turned and stared, like he always did. Only this time he let her check him without complaint, as stiff as cardboard, but without trying to throw her hand away.
Small steps, she told herself as she fought another wave of tears. Just small steps.
As soon as she was finished with Arthur, she went to find Grace, and they made their way out of the hospital, heading for the short walk up the hill to where their camp was. They were late, so they’d end up at the back of the line for dinner, but she was starving, and it was better than being in the hospital with Arthur.
‘Where’s April?’ she asked.
Grace looked tired as she yawned and wrapped her arms around herself. ‘In surgery with Dr. Grey, last I heard. She loves surgery as much as I hate the thought of it.’
Eva nodded. It still amused her when she thought of how much Grace despised the sight of blood. ‘Maybe I should offer up my services. I’d rather be in surgery than taking care of Arthur.’
‘No better?’
Eva sighed. ‘He’s at least letting me do my job now, but he’s awful. I’ve never had such an obnoxious patient.’
They shuffled forward a few steps as they joined the chow line.
‘Were those two airmen friends of his earlier? I sent them down to you.’
‘Yes. And Arthur sent them packing within minutes of arriving. He just erupted like a volcano and had them running for the hills.’
‘Why don’t you offer to take him outside for fresh air? Or get someone to talk to him about getting mobile once he’s healed?’ Grace asked.
Eva took another few steps forward. ‘Honestly, I think he might be better on the psychiatric ward.’
She loved the idea of taking him outside for air or doing anything to make him happy; it was why she’d sat with him from the day they’d rescued him, to help him and care for him. But the more she offered, the kinder she was, the more he seemed to push back.
‘Have you told him that it was you who saved him?’ Grace asked, leaning into her.
‘No.’ She’d wanted to, when he’d first come around, but the words had never come, and then he was so angry that she hadn’t bothered.
‘I would. Give him something to be grateful for.’
Eva wished she were right, but she feared that if he knew she’d saved him, then he might hate her even more than he already did.
‘Morning, Arthur!’ Eva said, breezing past him and reaching for his chart. ‘It’s a beautiful day today, and I thought you might like some fresh air.’
He didn’t reply.
‘Arthur? I thought you might like—’
‘You thought wrong,’ he muttered. ‘Just get this over with.’
She hesitated, staring at him and hating the way he wouldn’t look at her. Did he dislike her that much, or was it that he was embarrassed? She wasn’t so sure anymore.
‘It’s important that you breathe in some fresh air and have the sun on your skin,’ she said, deciding to keep her smile fixed and continue on as if he hadn’t refuted her. She was going to take it as a good sign that he was letting her go about her nursing duties instead of fighting her now.
‘Is that doctor’s orders or just some fancy idea you’ve had to get me out of this bed?’
She froze and looked up, expecting to see a smile to go with that little bout of sarcasm, but the second she met his gaze, she saw that he wasn’t trying to be funny.
Eva checked his dressing and took his temperature before setting her things down and sitting on the edge of his bed. The hospital beds were narrow, but with his leg not taking up the space on one side, she could fit beside him.
‘I’m not sure if anyone’s told you, Arthur,’ she said softly, wishing she could take his hand but knowing that he’d refuse the contact, ‘or even if you remember that day you were rescued, but it was me.’
He folded his arms, always in the same position with his shoulders slumped and his arms crossed, his lips permanently pulled into a frown.
‘I was walking that day, the day you wer
e found. I heard a noise and found you, and I helped to carry you back here,’ she said. ‘You were in such bad shape, but you looked at me; I held your hand and you told me your name, and I stayed with you until you were rushed into surgery.’
His eyes were dark and stormy now as he slowly turned his head. ‘You?’ he asked.
‘Me,’ she whispered. ‘And I sat with you when I was off duty, all those days until you finally woke up. I was here with you.’
He looked away again, and she wanted to scream at him to look at her, to be grateful, to not give up on living. The words choked her, the anger pulsating as she tried to breathe and couldn’t. She folded her hands so he wouldn’t see them shaking, staring down at them, and his words took her by surprise when he finally spoke.
‘Why?’
‘Why what?’ she asked.
‘Why did you save me? Why didn’t you just leave me to die?’
Eva studied him. She wanted to tell him about Charlie—she wanted to tell him so many things to make him appreciate his life—but she couldn’t. ‘Because I saw a man in pain who needed help, and the second I looked into your eyes and saw your injuries, I knew I had to get you back here. You’re one of the lucky ones, Arthur. You get to live. You get to go home.’
It was the first time he’d maintained eye contact with her, the first time he hadn’t turned away in a huff and refused to engage with her.
‘Well, you should have left me,’ he muttered. ‘I’d rather be dead than a cripple.’
‘You’d rather be dead?’ she echoed.
He didn’t reply.
Eva looked at the pillow propped up behind him, wondering for a split second if she could grab it and smother him, bury that angry, ungrateful face of his and suffocate the life from him. But she didn’t. Instead she took a deep breath and stood, her hand resting where moments before she’d been sitting.
‘Fine, then,’ she said, glaring at him as she thought of Charlie, as she imagined what he would have given to survive, what she would have given for him to survive. ‘You want me to leave? I’ll leave.’
‘Go,’ he said, defying her, his stare arrogant, as if he was daring her to actually walk away from him.
She stood there, watching him, waiting for him to change his mind.
‘Go!’ he suddenly shouted, his voice reverberating through her, hitting her hard like a punch to her body.
She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as tears pooled in her eyes, but she refused to give in to him. Her father had treated her like this and gotten away with it all her life, but this man couldn’t hurt her with his fists. He couldn’t even get out of his bed.
‘I’ll go,’ she whispered, leaning closer to him so he could hear every word. ‘But I’m the only person you’ve got on your side now, and one day I might just leave you here and not come back.’
She watched him, saw recognition flicker across his face, before turning and leaving him, her words weighing heavily. She’d been cruel, but Arthur had been just as cruel to her, and unlike him, she was only trying to be helpful.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
GRACE
‘Are you certain you don’t want me to come with you?’
Grace rolled her eyes at her sister and glanced at her over her shoulder. ‘For the last time, why can’t you just tell me I look great and leave it at that.’
April sighed. ‘You do look great. Fantastic, even. But you don’t even know this soldier, and—’
‘I’ll be fine. Honestly, I’m walking there with other nurses, and it’ll be busy there. There’s nothing to worry about; you just don’t like that you’re not the one in charge of what I’m doing.’
April had come to stand behind her, and Grace stayed still as she stroked a hand down her hair, watching her in the little handheld mirror she was holding.
‘I do worry about you. I can’t help it,’ April said.
‘I know, but you don’t have to. Can’t you see how much I’m loving being here? I’m fine.’ Grace turned and kissed her sister’s cheek.
‘You look so much like Mom with your hair up like that. I remember sitting and watching her get ready to go out, and honestly I can see her in you so clearly right now.’
Grace opened her arms and held April, hugging her tight and trying not to cry. ‘And here I was always thinking you were the one who looked like Mom.’
April finally let her go and stepped back, reaching up to wipe under her eye. ‘Now look, I’m going to make you smudge your makeup.’
‘So I can go?’ Grace asked.
April smiled and squeezed her hand. ‘Of course you can. Have fun.’
Grace grinned and waved to Eva, who was getting dressed for her night shift after sleeping most of the afternoon. Part of her wished Eva and April were coming with her, but the other part was feeling exhilarated that they weren’t. She didn’t want April watching over her shoulder—she wanted to laugh and flirt and have fun with Peter without worrying about anyone else. Being away from home, it suited her. She’d never felt so alive, and she couldn’t get enough of the rush she felt at going exploring, the excitement every time she set foot outside of their quarters and got to see more of the world.
‘You coming?’ A few nurses were already waiting at the edge of camp for her, and she ran to catch up with them.
‘Sure am!’
They all walked together, and Grace soaked it all up, listening to the other nurses talk about the soldiers they were excited about seeing and giggling about kisses and someone getting pregnant. She was so swept up in listening that the walk passed quickly, and soon they were outside a noisy venue, where she could see plenty of soldiers and airmen inside.
‘I’m keeping my eye out for Australian soldiers,’ one nurse whispered to her, squeezing her arm on the way past. ‘You’ve never seen such gorgeous men in all your life!’
Grace laughed and followed her in, looking through the smoky haze for her date but not making him out in the sea of uniforms. Music blared from a record player somewhere, and women’s laughter echoed against the deep baritones of the men talking. It was so . . . she smiled to herself. It was so grown up; that’s what it was. She felt like she’d finally come into her own. She had a job she was good at now, she was loving the independence of being away from home, and she was out on her own, about to meet one of the most handsome soldiers she’d ever laid eyes upon.
‘Grace?’
She turned, her heart racing when she found Teddy standing behind her, a drink in one hand and a cigarette hanging from his lips.
‘Teddy!’ she squealed, throwing her arms around him as he dropped his cigarette and did the same to her, holding her in a one-armed hug.
‘It’s so great to see you. How long have you been here?’ she asked, stepping back and studying his face.
‘Long enough,’ he muttered. ‘But you, look at you.’ He grinned and shook his head. ‘It’s so good to see you.’
Suddenly Grace felt embarrassed being the center of attention. Letter writing had been one thing, but seeing him standing there, looking up at him as he watched her? It brought everything back.
‘You promised to spend some of your leave with us,’ she said, regretting how desperate she sounded the moment her words came out. ‘I’ve been so worried about you.’
‘I’m sorry; it’s been a rough few months,’ he said, running a hand through his hair.
She noticed how tired his eyes looked, his face pale and gaunt where before it had been full. ‘It doesn’t matter; it’s just good to see you now.’
‘Are you here with April?’ he asked, looking around. ‘Come and sit—let’s get a drink.’
‘I’m actually, ah, meeting—’
‘Grace!’ An arm snaked around her waist, and she saw Teddy’s eyes narrow as he stared at the man beside her.
‘Hi, Peter,’ she said, taking a step sideways and gesturing toward Teddy. ‘Ah, Teddy, this is Peter. Peter, this is Teddy, an old friend from home.’
‘Great to meet yo
u,’ Peter said, sticking his hand out and shaking Teddy’s. ‘Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve been looking forward to seeing this young lady all week. Come on!’
Peter grabbed her hand and tugged her along with him as the band erupted into a new song.
‘Sorry,’ she called as she watched Teddy’s face. ‘I’ll come back; we’ll talk later.’ He nodded, his eyes never leaving hers until she finally looked away.
‘You look beautiful tonight,’ Peter said, spinning her and then pulling her back in so she landed against his chest before he swung her back out again.
Grace shut her eyes, feeling the music and letting it wash over her. Seeing Teddy had rattled her, but nothing was going to ruin this night. Teddy was a friend. He’d already told her she was like a little sister to him; she couldn’t let herself get lost in the fantasy of Teddy again.
When she looked up, Peter was smiling, his eyes bright as he twirled her again. She was on a date with a handsome soldier; Teddy wasn’t hers, and he never would be, so whatever feelings she might have had for him? She smiled up at Peter as he laughed and spun her again. They had to disappear.
‘Want to get a drink?’ he asked when the song ended.
He proffered his elbow, and she slid her hand through, holding on to him as they made their way through the crowd. ‘I thought you were never going to ask.’
She saw Teddy, still watching them, and gave him a little wave as they walked away. Peter’s friends were up ahead—she recognized them from the beach and the train ride—and they all called out to her and whistled. There were other nurses nearby, too, but she happily sat sandwiched between Peter and his friend, a drink in hand as she listened to them talk and laugh. She could make her way over to Teddy later.
Grace took a little sip and fought a cough, not used to such strong alcohol. She didn’t even know what it was, but she was determined to like it.
‘Cheers!’ Peter said, clinking his glass to hers.
‘Cheers,’ she said back, sipping again and feeling the warmth of the alcohol surge through her, finding it easier to swallow the second time and then the third.
The Girls of Pearl Harbor Page 21