Whispers of Tomorrow (The Alina Chronicles Book 2)

by Regina J. Robinson

  “Maybe. Perhaps you could tell me how she’s feeling. I mean you have a connection with her.” As soon as the words leave his lips, he looks extremely guilty. As he should, he’s asking me to spy on her. I’m about to berate him when he stutters. “Actually no, don’t do that. It wouldn’t be right. I don’t want to pry.” Nice fucking save Sweetcheeks.

  “How do you feel about her? What emotion seems to be the most powerful?” The word doesn’t even need to leave his mouth, I can already sense it.

  “I think…I…I mean I know it’s. Fuck. Why can’t I say it? Why does it feel like my head is going to split in two?” He places his head in his hands, scrunching his hair between his fingers.

  “The most powerful emotions are the hardest to confront. You will, eventually. You need time to process it all, as does Alina.”

  With his hair still in his hands, he looks at me. “What about you? What do you feel around Alina?”

  Now if that’s not a loaded question, I don’t know what is. What can I say that’s not going to make me come off as creepy? I’m still a horse after all. Killian is staring at me waiting for my answer, so I choose the one word dancing in my mind. “Home. That’s what she makes me feel. Like I have a home. Wherever she is, I want to be with her. I know it probably sounds stupid, but it’s the truth.” And it is, more than I could ever begin to explain.

  Killian shakes his head at me and I wait for him to say I’m an idiot. “It’s not stupid mate. I feel the same way. Before Alina and you came along, I was moving through the motions of trying to keep my head clear enough to sort out the farm. When you both showed up that night at first I was wary, but the more I got to know you both, the more it felt right. It’s like Alina was the piece I was missing and I’m so bloody scared of losing it.” He fidgets to sit on his ass and folds his knees up in front of him. He leans his arms over his knees, letting his hands dangle down.

  All I can do is watch him as he talks about Alina. But what really surprises me is he mentions me too. Am I a missing piece too? Does he want me the way I want him and Alina? I close my eyes and shake my head. Don’t be fucking absurd. What would either of them want with me? My own insecurities decide to rear their ugly head. I’m happy to admit to Killian of my feelings for Alina, yet I can’t fathom how to tell Killian of my growing feelings for him. How would he react? Would he be disgusted? Angry? I’m no more than a coward. I berate Killian for not telling the truth but I can’t seem to share my own emotional conflicts.

  “I know you feel the same way about Alina as I do.” My eyes snap open. I could barely hear his muffled whisper, but it’s there. I stare at him trying to gauge how he feels about knowing I have feelings for Alina.

  “The way you describe her as feeling like home. It’s the same way I feel about her. Have you told her how you feel? After all, you kept pestering me to tell her about my feelings.” His mouth turns up into a lopsided smirk. Smug bastard turning my own words and advice against me.

  “And how exactly am I meant to tell her when I’m like this? Hmm? Any ideas? I can’t very well walk up to her, offer her my hoof and say ‘hey Sparky I care for you, but not in the way a horse should’. It’s not ideal now is it?”

  The smirk slips from his face when he senses how honest I am. “Alina knows you’re not just a horse, or a unicorn for that matter. She knows you are really a man. You never know, she may feel the same way.”

  I bark out a disbelieving laugh into his head. “You really think Sparky will care about me like that while I’m a horse. Look, Sweetcheeks, I know you mean well and everything, but there is no way she would have any feelings like those for me.” I lay my head down on the hay once more, looking at him.

  “I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t think of it that way. Maybe once this all over and you are yourself again, you could perhaps talk to her.” He watches me shake my head in refusal. “Can’t you at least try?”

  “When do you think this will be over? Tomorrow? Next week? Next month? Next year? Or do you think we’re looking more at centuries again? Neither you nor I know how long I will be stuck like this. I can’t expect her to wait for me, besides she has you. What does she need from me when she has you?” Fuck, when did it become my time to have a pity party?

  “I don’t know when this will be over. Hopefully sooner rather than later. As for if Alina wants you too, then I would be okay with it.” My eyes widen as he carries on, “I mean, perhaps if Alina wants both of us then maybe we could discuss it like adults and both be with her.”

  Is he really suggesting what I think he is?

  “Are you saying you would share Alina if she wanted me too?” I feel my heartbeat increase at the possibility I may not be brushed aside so quickly.

  “Yeah. I guess. It would ultimately be up to Alina in the end. After all, she hasn’t seen your human form, she may think you’re ugly.” I can see a glimmer of cheekiness flash over his face, which he quickly tries to mask.

  “Oh, believe me Sweetcheeks, I’m pretty sure she’ll like what she sees. You probably will too.” My suggestive tone and wink makes him flush so red I swear he may combust.

  “I. Uh. I. Um.” Adorable stutters are all he can manage through his awkwardness. Fuck what I wouldn’t give to kiss that right off his face. I suppose I better make him feel more comfortable. “I’m just teasing Sweetcheeks. You know me. I’m happy with either gender, they both have their advantages. Although I do know not everyone is like that.” Damn it. Even when I’m trying to make him feel at ease, I have a tendency to fuck it up.

  “It’s not that I don’t…Uh…You know?” I raise an eyebrow in question waiting for him to elaborate. He stares down and starts picking at his fingernails.

  “No, I don’t know. Care to share?” Fuck it. I enjoy taunting him too much to stop.

  “I… Uh… I… Um. I like guys too okay.” He finally stumbles out with a grimace.

  “Ah so the truth comes out. Does that mean I’m in for a chance with you too?” I know he’ll probably take it as a joke, yet I feel so invested in his answer. What if he says yes? What if he likes me too? When the hell did I start having all these questions? This isn’t me, I’m usually confident. I hold my breath waiting for his answer.

  “There’s no need to tease mate. I was seeing a guy for a bit before my last girlfriend. He was a nice guy, we didn’t do a lot, but he was good to me. As for you having a chance with me, you’ll have to ask me again once you’re not a four-legged animal.”

  I bark out a laugh. “Way to throw that back at me. You’re more fun like this. On another note, do you feel a bit better now?” I need to change the subject. Even though at the moment we are only teasing, it could take a turn for the worse and I’ll accidentally reveal my feelings for Killian too.

  “Yeah, I am. Though I still think the best thing to do at the moment is to give Alina some space. I’m not sure how much of it I can offer her. Our rooms are just down the hall from one another. Um. Would you mind if I sleep here for a while? The blanket is still here from yesterday so I could use that.” He stretches his arm out to grab the discarded blanket and holds it in front of him. He glances down at it, then back to me with the largest pleading eyes I have ever seen.

  “Of course, you can stay. Though won’t Alina get nervous if she wakes up and you’re nowhere to be seen?” I really want him to stay, but my first priority will always be Alina and her wellbeing. He doesn’t really give me a choice in the matter when he crawls on his hands and knees to place his head against my chest. Who am I to stop a gorgeous man snuggling into me?

  “When Vemnos was in her room, I heard nothing. Not a peep. At least if I am here with you, you would be able to sense if she’s in distress. You’re like a warning alarm for her.” A loud yawn leaves his mouth as he pulls the blanket around him, resting his head on his hand against my chest. Thinking about it, Killian is right. As long as I’m close to Sparky then I should be able to hear her. I’m probably only agreeing with Killian because I love the feel of him close to
me too much.

  “Fine. I’ll wake you if I sense anything. Go to sleep and don’t keep me awake with your snores. Got it?

  He lightly chuckles, quickly followed by another yawn. He keeps his tired eyes on me as they slowly begin to shut. Short quiet snores soon follow, although they are not loud enough to annoy me.

  I lay my head down next to his sleepy form and watch the gentle rise and fall of his chest. The movement gradually lulling me to sleep. As I am drifting off, I swear for a moment I hear Killian gasp my name.

  Although that’s most likely wishful thinking on my part. I try and fail to ignore the way he feels against me, but I know it’s no use. One day I’ll let them both know how I feel about each of them.

  Just not today.

  13

  Draythys

  He’s doing it again. Fucking Vemnos.

  I’m not crazy. I’m not crazy.

  For centuries my mind has been tampered with more and more. I can’t seem to work out which way is up. There are times when everything seems clear, I know who I am and what my purpose is. But other days it’s as if there’s a wall of fog surrounding my head, trapping me within my own thoughts.

  It would be okay if it didn’t feel like Ebris was pushing me away. I can’t even recall the last time he wanted me in his bed. Yet Vemnos, oh, that little shithead he’ll have every night. Recently he hasn’t asked to see me or even acknowledged me when we pass in the halls.

  I know this is all the god of malice and trickery’s fault. I mean, who else could it be?

  I feel like there is something I’m missing. One crucial thing I cannot for the life of me seem to wrap my head around. What am I missing?

  I didn’t realize how late in the evening it was, yet when I arrive in the courtyard, I can see the beautiful colors of night settling in. I walk to the edge of the balcony, gazing down for what seems like miles at the thunderous flow of water cascading below. Sometimes I forget how magnificent this place is. Living in a palace perched on a waterfall, surrounded by the sounds of nature is one of the few highlights of living here. For a brief moment I’m at peace, the haze of my mind slipping a little.

  “Dray? I thought it was you.” I turn around when I hear the melodic sound of my best friend. Still as beautiful as ever. It never fails to amaze me how lucky Idnera is in the looks department. If I didn’t already have my heart set on Ebris, I would easily fall for her.

  “Iddy. Good to see you.” I reach my arms out to embrace her and she squeezes back nuzzling her head in my neck. Still holding onto my shoulders, she moves back to stare into my eyes. “Good to see me? Good to see you. I thought after the willow you may not have wanted to see me again.” I see sadness fill her eyes as she talks.

  “I always want to see you, Iddy. I hope you know that. I just couldn’t handle it the other day when you kept telling me the same things you’ve been telling me for centuries.” She releases me and steps over to the balcony. Bracing herself against the stone wall, she hangs her head.

  After what feels like ages, she lifts her head turning to face me. “You know why I keep saying what I do, Dray. I’m just trying to take care of you. You’re my best friend and I don’t know what I would do if anything bad happened to you.”

  Shaking my head as I wait for another lecture, I rest my lower back against the balcony wall. Idnera mirrors my stance but looks down at her feet. Something once more pecks at my brain. A piece of information? An idea? Notion? I can’t quite seem to work out what it is. But I know it’s important, yet every time I try to concentrate on it long enough to work out what it is, I feel an overwhelming surge of pain in my head. I scrape my fingers through my hair in an attempt to focus. On what I have no idea. The overbearing feeling of pain begins tugging me into a spiral of loss of control.

  That is until Iddy rests her hand on my back. It’s like she has the power to ground me when I feel as if I may be swept away by anything and everything.

  “Shh Dray. It’s alright. I’m here.” She carries on rubbing my back, the sensation soothing me until the pain appears to subside a little.

  Recently, instead of just feeling confused and disoriented, I have felt immense pain. It seems to happen when my mind seems to be trying to tell me something, yet when I attempt to focus on it, I am hit with the universe’s worst migraine. I carry on listening to Iddy as she tells me everything will be alright and for a brief moment, I believe her. I lean back into her touch, her arms cocooning around me. As I take a deep steadying breath, the sweet subtle scent of lilies and lavender swarm my senses. I don’t know if it’s just because she’s the goddess of love and beauty or whether it’s something she bathes in, but Iddy always smells like this. A fresh, comforting scent which feels like a soothing balm to my overacting mind.

  Iddy guides us over to one of the stone benches and helps me to sit, somehow with her arms still around me. She moves my head to rest it against her shoulder and begins stroking her fingers through my hair.

  This should suck, being this weak in front of her. I am a goddess after all. It feels too nice to ask her to stop though. I rest against her as she continues playing with my hair with one hand and the other rests on my arm. Part of me wishes it could be like this always. Peaceful and rested with my best friend. But my mind always seems to have a way of going back to Ebris. Wondering what he’s doing, or rather who? Is he with Vemnos now? Or someone else? Why doesn’t he want me anymore? Stupid, stupid questions.

  I begin trembling in Idnera’s arms trying to push away the bad thoughts. She holds me closer and whispers in my ear to relax and breathe. Why should I? Why can’t I have what I want? I sit more upright, pushing Iddy away in the process. She looks at me with the same familiar worried gaze she always seems to wear around me recently.

  “Are you alright Dray?” She rests her hands on my shoulders, staring at me. I shrug them off and turn away from her.

  “No. No, I’m not. I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. One minute I feel sane and happy, then the next it’s as though my head is attempting to split in two. I wish I knew what was going on and how to stop it.” Keeping my back to her, I fold my arms across my chest.

  “Sweetie, I’ve told you plenty of times what the cause of your pain is. I just wish you could see it the way we all do.” I sense her moving closer, so I shuffle along the stone bench.

  “Don’t start that again. Yes, I know full well what you think is the cause, but I’m telling you now Ebris is not the reason for my pain and confusion. You and I both know it has to be Vemnos, yet you can’t help but blame Ebris every time. I’m fed up with you always accusing him,” I say glaring at her from over my shoulder.

  “Does it really matter if it’s Ebris or Vemnos? Both of them are bad news. You would do best to avoid them at all cost. Vemnos is a twisted fuckhead and Ebris hasn’t given a shit about anyone but himself in centuries. I’ve said it before and I will continue saying it, you’re better off without him. You don’t need his destructive force in your life.”

  I roll my eyes at her. Here we go again.

  “Fine. Before you say ‘but I love him’ think for one moment. If he truly cared for you, why does he not want to see you?” Doubts begin to cloud my mind once more. Why doesn’t he want to see me?

  “I believe he does care for me. It’s Vemnos. He’s the reason Ebris does not wish to see me. He must be using some of his trickery on him, like he does with me. Don’t look at me like that. You know for a fact he is the god of malice and trickery. Well, what could be more of a trickster thing to do than to keep two people who care about each other apart?” I slowly move to face her, only to be greeted by her own eye roll.

  “Dray the only person he may be performing his trickery on is you. Ebris doesn’t care about anyone. He only says and does what he pleases when he pleases. I honestly can’t work out for the life of me why you would believe he cares for you like that. Has he ever been gentle with you? Or tenderly kissed you or said one nice word to you?” Glancing down I hesitate
for a moment to think back over all the centuries. He must have. Why can’t I remember anything like that? Looking at Idnera, I notice she has an eyebrow raised in question with her arms folded in front of her. “See I didn’t think so. Look, I don’t wish to hurt you, in fact it’s the last thing I would ever wish to do. But I’m afraid I need to if you won’t listen to reason. I have told you time and time again about this. So have your brother and Neris, yet you still refuse to listen. I don’t know what else to say or do with you anymore.” She throws her hands up in the air, turning away from me.

  It’s gutting. To see my best friend potentially giving up on me makes me feel numb. What’s strange is that a part of me knows she’s right and at some point it feels stronger than my love for Ebris. But other times I feel like the only thing giving my life meaning is Ebris. If he could just want me back the way I want him, then everything would be brilliant. I watch as she slowly stands and walks away from me, not even giving me a chance to speak. Seems fair I walked away from her before. Why does it feel like no one wants me?

  Just before Idnera reaches the door, my brother opens it and walks through with a smile. I don’t hear anything they discuss, although I do notice when they both look at me with concerned gazes. She pats him on the shoulder as she walks past and back into the palace.

  I nearly miss the huge inhale and exhale Dhysysus does before he reaches me. I know it was there though, which means he must be setting himself up to lecture me again.

  “Hey sis, how are you?” He takes a seat on the stone bench near me.

  “Don’t ‘hey sis’ me. You and I both know you’re only acting nice, so why don’t you do us both a favor and spit out whatever it is Iddy told you to say.” Sometimes having a twin brother sucks, especially seeing as I’m the Goddess of the Underworld and he’s the God of Tranquility. I wonder what it would be like to switch with him for a day. Would people like me then? Would Iddy understand why I feel the way I do? Would Ebris finally want me?