Darklight 2: Darkthirst

by Forrest, Bella

  I cocked my head, reasoning it out. We needed to regroup no matter what, and the caves near the resort were likely the best place to go first. And if the Bureau had somehow won the fight, the caves would be where we needed to start our hunt for our friends. We certainly couldn’t stay here, since the Bureau would almost certainly come looking for their monstrous pet.

  “It’s going to be a long walk,” I said, already weary again. “Let’s just hope we find some fresh water soon.”

  Dorian stretched, his body long and lean like a cat’s. “You can get on my back if you want to cover ground quickly,” he said. “Just promise to keep your unbridled lust for me under control, so you don’t pass out.” A teasing grin lit his face.

  I gaped at his nerve and the suggestion. “As much as I’d like to touch you, you’re falling apart as it is,” I said dryly, the feeling combusting into indignation. “Besides, I won’t pass out unless you feel too much for me.”

  He smirked. “That won’t be difficult if I’m hauling your stubborn butt across the mountainside.”

  “I’ll have you know many people enjoy my stubbornness,” I informed him with a proud tilt of my chin. “And you’re one to talk, insisting on starving yourself and then being surprised when you struggle in a fight.”

  He took a step toward me, mock outrage on his face. “I could take you down while I’m starving, blindfolded, and missing a hand.”

  “Wanna bet?” I challenged, the delight of our sudden lightheartedness spurring me on. “I’ve been training to take down arrogant know-it-alls like you since I could walk.”

  “And how long has that been exactly?” he asked, beginning to circle, eyebrows raised. “One decade? Maybe two?”

  I matched his movements, happiness bubbling in my throat. “Oh, no. I’m secretly eighty-four years old and have been fooling you this entire time.”

  His surprised peal of laughter startled birds from their roosts in the trees. I joined in, our mirth spurring the other on until we were only laughing because the other was, tears streaming down our faces. It was the first time I’d really seen Dorian laugh, I realized, my empty stomach aching from our almost hysterical release of tension. The way his eyes crinkled, the flash of his teeth as he gave in to the feeling, the deep bass of the sound in his chest as it rolled out of him, the twist of a dimple in his chin… it was a delight to watch.

  Eventually, we got ourselves under control and returned to the task at hand.

  He stooped down, clearly hell-bent on carrying me. With a hint of reluctance, I hopped up onto his back, still worried about his strength. He straightened, his strong legs bracing us easily. Maybe I had underestimated him.

  “It won’t be as fast as usual,” he informed me. “I may be strong, but I’ve still been knocked around a good bit.”

  “Don’t push yourself too hard. If you do, I’m jumping off, and we’re going at my pace.” I wrapped my hands around his shoulders, careful not to pull on his neck.

  He took a deep breath, then surged into motion. The trees passed by in a blur, but I could make them out if I paid attention. He wasn’t as fast as he’d been in the Amish forest, but he was still faster than I could ever have run.

  The brush was thick in this area, but he found animal trails that let him weave through the dense forest. As best as I could at this speed, I kept a lookout for any sign of civilization or human presence: a trail marker, coppiced areas of woodland, dropped trash. Nothing caught my eye, though—this area appeared less populated than the Amish community’s forest we’d been in a few weeks ago.

  Dorian dipped and pushed through thickets of greenery. I protected my face by burying it in his neck, but twigs snagged my hair painfully. Dorian grunted as he flew through another weed-choked area. Leaves buffeted my face. I ducked down closer to his back and closed my eyes until we were free from the plants.

  What are the others doing right now?

  After a long while, Dorian came to a skidding stop. My shoulders lifted with relief as I risked raising my head.

  We were on a mountain road. Well, “road” was maybe too strong a word for it. The unpaved, winding path crept through the forest. If this was a road, however basic it might be, it might take us to some kind of human presence.

  “Let’s look for civilization,” I said, pointing down at the tire grooves in the dusty path. “I wouldn’t mind a snack.” As I spoke of my hunger, I felt and heard my stomach growl.

  Dorian chuckled. “We can follow the road for a while,” he said. He readjusted me on his back and began to run once more. The trees flashed by. He ran on this path much easier than through the forest.

  He stopped again almost immediately, and I had to brace myself against his back to keep my balance.

  “What is it?” I asked, dreading the answer. I surveyed the area around us, but nothing seemed out of place. Please don’t be another monster.

  “There’s a herd of elk nearby,” he whispered with a soft smile, looking back at me.

  Elk? I didn’t see anything. “How do you know that?” I asked.

  “I can smell them,” he explained. “And I’ve got an idea.”

  He looked slightly mischievous, which made me wary. Sliding off his back, I followed as he took us through a small gap in the trees down a twisting, narrow path. We stopped on the edge of a tiny clearing near a fast-running brook, and I crouched beside him in the long grass.

  A dozen red elk gathered around the stream, drinking and grazing in the clearing. I covered my mouth to hold in a delighted gasp, not wanting to scare them away. Dorian, however, rose quietly from our spot and approached the herd confidently, hands held out and open before him, his whole posture non-threatening. The elk didn’t seem to care about his sudden appearance. He walked up to the largest male, a mighty creature nearly twice as tall as the others. The elk stared down at Dorian with passive interest. To me, its pointed antlers seemed less than inviting.

  With a slow movement, Dorian reached out to the elk. To my surprise, the creature bent down to meet his gesture—letting him rest his hand easily between the antlers—and closed its eyes. I watched with bated breath as the other elk went about their business. It was the same form of communication vampires used with redbills. But would it work?

  Apparently so. After a minute, Dorian scrambled up onto the elk’s back and gestured for me to come forward. He grinned at me as I slowly approached.

  “We have transportation,” he said with just a hint of smugness.

  I rolled my eyes, secretly amused. “Now you’re just showing off,” I said. Like a little boy. I couldn’t help but be charmed by it. It didn’t hurt that having a companion with crazy superpowers made my life easier.

  He leaned down, offering me a hand. “Oh, I am absolutely showing off, but I’m also tired. I’m spacing out my feedings, so I need to be careful with my energy if I’m going to last for another fight. Running burns energy, you know.”

  “Sure,” I drawled. “Just give me a minute.” I went upstream from where the elk had been drinking and proceeded to satisfy my own thirst, even scooping up some of the clear, freezing water to splash over my face and neck.

  Still dripping slightly, I hurried back to Dorian and let him pull me up behind him on the elk. His brief touch on my hand caused it to tingle with warmth. I wrapped my arms around his waist. The bony spine beneath us felt strange and unbalanced to me, especially after riding on the broad, feathery backs of the redbills for so long, but I could use Dorian to steady myself. Even through my clothes, I could feel the elk’s coarse hair. I stared at the back of Dorian’s head, mulling over what he’d just said about his feedings.

  Was he spacing out his feedings for me? I frowned. Probably. A sensation of doubt hung over my shoulders. We had a knack for getting into danger, and we could use him at full strength. Would Dorian’s spaced-out feedings affect our mission?

  I didn’t have time to reflect on that question. The elk shook himself and took off down the mountain path. Soon, we barreled down
the winding road with the whole herd following the bull.

  The mountain peak hiding our caves drew slowly closer. I wondered uneasily what we would find there.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Dorian and I rode the elk through the forest for hours. A small child could have mistaken us for a page torn from a book of fairytales… if you ignored the sore muscles and dirt-encrusted clothes.

  How did I end up in this situation again?

  A few hours in, Dorian let me switch places and sit in front so I could take in the experience seeing our path framed by the magnificent antlers of the elk bull. I marveled at the sight of the elk traveling alongside us, the herd seeming content to follow their leader. At this point, however, I was beyond questioning riding majestic elk, no matter how surreal the situation felt.

  If Zach could see me now, he would either laugh or be insanely jealous. I closed my eyes as a wave of worry rushed through me. I hoped my brother was okay.

  Dorian’s arm tightened around me as he adjusted to the elk’s uneven gait, the contact a comfort right now. A shiver skittered up my spine at the feel of his hand snug around my waist. How had we gotten into this bizarre situation? Not the situation of riding an elk, but more the emotional conflict that swirled between us at the heart of all our recent adventures. I wanted to name it. My strategic mind desired solid labels in the midst of this chaos.

  My heart burned slightly, but compared to my sore muscles, it was bearable. My body pressed into Dorian’s frame as a wave of fatigue rolled over me. Maybe my exhaustion was causing all the questions about us to gather like a mob in my mind.

  I sucked in a breath for bravery. I wanted to ask the big questions. The future was uncertain, but it would help to know where we stood. I was gathering my strength when Dorian chuckled in my ear.

  “I can hear the gears of your brain turning,” he said, a teasing thrum in his voice.

  My cheeks immediately flushed, enjoying his tone and insight immensely. I wished I could press his teasing more but pushed forward.

  “What are we doing, Dorian?” I asked, voice heavy with meaning, my face warming. Being vulnerable like this wasn’t something I’d had much practice with. I was afraid to see his face, worried about what it might look like.

  “We’re riding an elk through the forest,” he replied dryly. “A very handsome elk, at that.”

  The elk, as if understanding Dorian’s words, gave a proud bugle.

  “You know that’s not what I meant,” I said, annoyed. I knew what I was asking was tough, considering our complicated situation.

  He quieted behind me. I felt him pull away slightly, but his arm remained wrapped around me as securely as ever.

  When he spoke, his voice had dropped to a more serious tone. “We’re going into uncharted territory for humans and vampires, as far as I know. Sometimes I feel like we’re caught in a storm,” he admitted.

  I knew what he meant. The warring emotions of anxiety, sadness, frustration, and intense attraction were taking a toll on us. I wanted him to want me. Yet when we gave in and allowed that to happen, everything became more complicated.

  “Being friends isn’t working,” I said, feeling a pang of guilt. I was the one to suggest that plan, and it had completely fallen apart. “Admit it. That plan was a bust.”

  Dorian snorted. “I basically did admit it, Lyra. You didn’t respond well when I told you I wanted you.”

  I couldn’t stop my huff of surprise. I had no idea what he was talking about. Dorian wasn’t one to talk openly about his raw thoughts, so I felt like I would’ve remembered that.

  “When?” I asked, dumbfounded. I half-turned to see his face.

  His cool composure seemed torn by an undercurrent of genuine conflict. “When I said it was killing me to cause you pain,” he said with a shrug. “I thought I was direct.”

  Now that I thought about it… he had told me that, I realized with a twinge of guilt. And I had brushed over it, focusing on the pain’s complications instead of the cause. “I’m sorry. I thought we were discussing the issues with our proximity. Not your—” I broke off, unable to find the words.

  He raised a sympathetic brow. “And not the fact that I want you?”

  I could finally be honest with him. I felt like a thousand pounds were lifted from my shoulders. An entirely new path of potential opened before us.

  “Yes,” I said and steeled myself for my next confession. I returned to facing forward, giving myself the pretense of distance. “You said you couldn’t tell what I felt, and I think you should know… I wanted you too. I still do. Perhaps more than ever.”

  His arm tightened around me. Desire rose within me, an obligatory response. But something else came with it—something warm and soft and caring. The unexpected strength of it stole my breath, forced me to face it.

  “I feel something deep for you,” I said quietly. “More than the physical desire I get around you. I’m worried about the future and what it might mean to be a human—” I paused, pulling my complicated thoughts together. “Human and vampire, together. I don’t know if you’re willing to deal with that. It would take a lot of work for both of us.”

  I paused for air. He was silent behind me, but his arm remained tight around my waist.

  “Would we even be able to work together in normal life?” I wondered. “If this stuff with the Bureau is ever sorted out… what would life even look like for us in the long term?” My fear doubled as I spoke.

  “Lyra,” he began in a low voice, “I’ve thought about this myself. A lot.”

  “Have you come to a conclusion?” I asked tightly. My skin prickled with goosebumps. Would he let me down gently on the back of an elk? This conversation felt like a strange dream.

  “I think there’s only one way for us to find out,” he said. “By living it.”

  I turned to face him again as best as I could. I needed to see his face, interpret his reactions. My heart burned. For him, yes, but also for the truth. I felt hope flare as his lips quirked upward.

  Let me have him in my life. Please.

  Despite my hope, I was unwilling to let my happiness fly too high. Dorian was the furthest thing from fragile, but in that moment, it seemed like he could shatter at the slightest provocation and disappear forever. And worse… he would cause it himself. I lowered my gaze, unwilling to stare into his glacial eyes as they studied me with concern.

  “I want to, but I’m afraid,” I said. “A part of my mind always reminds me of how you cut me off with no explanation and how you might do it again without giving me a reason. I want to be able to trust you. But how can I when you and your entire group turned on me once before with no warning?” My words caught painfully in my throat. I couldn’t forget the harsh words he’d spoken to me. “How can I trust you when you hide things from me, Dorian?” I turned to meet his gaze again.

  Dorian frowned remorsefully, but he paused for a moment.

  Good. Collect yourself. I needed him as composed as possible to give me a good answer. I deserved one.

  “I’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry I made you worry or doubt what I feel for you. I’m sorry I kept things from you.”

  My heart thumped wildly in my chest. He was finally letting me understand him. Beyond the risked moments of desire and heartache, months of nervous butterflies and stolen glances and half-spoken conversations, we were finally here. I wanted to settle my worries, but it was more than that. How many times had we danced around it, avoiding the issue? Too many to count.

  “Give me the truth,” I begged. Let him see me plead. My fear of being vulnerable gave way to the tidal force of my need for answers. I watched his face to gauge his reaction. I wanted to know everything, even if it might hurt.

  “The truth is that you scare me,” he whispered, voice choked with care. “You mean more to me than anything. It terrifies me that I feel this way after our short time together, but I can already barely remember what it felt like to not have you in
my life. I knew something was happening to me when I met you. I realized it over and over again. After we left the facility, that moment we went to gather water… I saw you in the springs in that tiny oasis, in the middle of a desert. I thought to myself that even in your torn clothes, I’d never seen someone so beautiful. And not just beautiful but fiercely passionate. A humor that can reach soldiers and vampires alike. Every challenge we’ve come across, you’ve met with bravery and strength. I deeply admire you, but I’ve tried to push it down, keep my feelings quiet and small. Not only because they hurt you, but because I already lost so much. The thought of having you for a moment, only to lose you again… I wouldn’t be able to stand it.”

  I stared at him, stunned and unable to move. My dazed brain couldn’t produce words. My ears buzzed with happy heat.

  “I will never cut you off again, Lyra. I promise you.” His hand brushed my face as he said this. “I will be yours for as long as you will have me.”

  I couldn’t turn away from his sharp, handsome face. Those glacial eyes had me frozen. It was as if he had finally cracked open. My heart swelled with joy.

  “Who knows how long that will be?” I said, desperately trying to reel my body back under control. My emotions were flying.

  “Once this is all over—if we get out of this mess—I want to find a way to cure your pain so we can be together all the time,” he said. “I’ve been experimenting on my own, obviously, but we will fix it. Together.”

  I could have pinched myself. This was all happening on the back of an elk! What had led me here? A thousand decisions, each leading to a situation more maddening than the one before. It was no surprise we had unraveled in the end.

  “I would love that,” I said finally, voice rasping slightly. “I’m glad you’re as serious about this as I am.”

  His eyes warmed. “Why wouldn’t I be serious? I just gave a sermon extolling your greatness.”

  I smiled wryly. “You’re not without your own strengths.”

  The crinkles around his eyes deepened as he fought a smile. Desire bloomed within me. A handsome and confident vampire was a dangerous creature. “Like bewitching elk for transportation?” he asked.