Closer

by Roxie Wilde

  I was already in his bedroom, the smell of leather and books and the unmistakable scent of Xander everywhere, before I had a chance to second guess myself. Steam trickled out through the open bathroom door as I went to lift my itchy sweater over my head.

  The vibration on the nightstand startled me.

  I looked down, caught sight of Xander’s phone screen. My heart dropped, crashing right through the floor.

  — Hey kid, you porked Miss Piggy yet? Ha!

  — Hit her with that story about your mom, that always works.

  Rage pumped through my veins, raw and thick. It colored my vision with a cloudy scarlet haze as I scrolled through message after obscene, crude message. I was so caught up in reading what Otto Olivier really thought about me that I didn’t hear the shower cranking off. Didn’t realize Xander was in the room until I felt his hands on my shoulders, shaking me.

  “Charlie? Charlie? Charlotte? Hey!” His voice sounded distant, like I was hearing him from across a crowded room. I realized my ears were ringing; I was so angry I was buzzing all over. I shoved him away, both hands hitting his stupid perfect chest.

  “Hey! What the fuck?!” He sounded startled, verging on angry.

  Good. I wanted him mad. Indignant I could deal with. I wasn’t sure I wouldn’t cave if he got sad. I was riding high on the roaring rage, and I didn’t want to let it go. Righteous anger was a comforting feeling.

  It was safe. It kept me safe from guys like Xander, just like Daddy had warned me all those years ago.

  I chucked his phone at him, the impact with his flesh a solid thud as it bounced off his perfectly sculpted muscles.

  Of course it was all an act. Look at him, you idiot. He could never want you, not really.

  I bit back a sob. I would not let him see me cry.

  “Your boss wants to know if you’ve fucked me yet Xander.”

  My voice was ragged, my breathing hard and fast. I could feel the rise and fall of my chest, my heart hammering against my ribcage.

  “Sorry you’ll be disappointing him.”

  “Charlie, I— “

  I wasn’t about to let him open his liar’s mouth and start charming me.

  “Shut up. I knew I shouldn’t trust you, I can’t believe I was so stupid.”

  “It’s not— “

  I couldn’t face him, couldn’t meet his baby blues. I didn’t want to see any false pain etched in his face. I refused to give his crocodile tears a glance. I had been a fool, and I was done being laughed at behind my back.

  “Tell your sexist pig boss he can go to hell. Better yet, take him there yourself!”

  I turned on my heel and practically sprinted out of the door. I heard him cursing, attempting to follow, but by the time he had tugged on pants and made it to the door, I was already reversing out of his driveway. I caught one last glimpse of him: wet, disheveled, shirtless, forlorn.

  Then I drove out of Xander’s life for good.

  Modern technology was equal parts magnificent and frustrating.

  My phone had blown up with half a dozen texts from a contact I couldn’t erase and refused to acknowledge. I took a vicious joy in swiping the notifications away, but they continued, non-stop. I caught words here and there. Empty apologies and justifications. I knew better now.

  I drove straight to a store and purchased a new phone, but technology swooped in to ruin my life again. My phone automatically synced up all of my contacts, including my so-called Future Husband.

  I patiently tried to explain what I needed to the pile of hormones and acne posing as a worker.

  “Yes. I need a fresh phone. Yes, I need to save some contacts. All of them except one.”

  I repeated the instructions for what felt like the tenth time. I was being remarkably patient, all things considered.

  “Ok, ma’am.” His voice cracked on the second syllable. I narrowed my eyes at being addressed as “ma’am”, but let it pass. It wasn’t like he was my target market anyway.

  I tapped my foot as he poked around. Every once in awhile he’d steal a glance at my cleavage when he thought I wasn’t paying attention. Typical. It was hard-coded into their DNA, I supposed.

  All men were trash.

  I hated doing it, but I wanted Xander out of my life as soon as possible, no matter the cost. I leaned forward on the counter, my voluptuous tits threatening to burst out of my top. I held him hostage at breast-point.

  “If you could do this for me as fast as possible, I’d be so grateful.” I gave my red curls a little flick over one shoulder, looking up at him from under my lashes. I saw his adam’s apple bob as he swallowed.

  “U-u-uh, yes ma’am. Right away.”

  He flushed, dropped his gaze away from the gravity of my curves, and redoubled his efforts. Now there was a sense of urgency. Ugh. Boys were the worst.

  It was a long few minutes as he tapped and typed and poked. I fidgeted nervously the entire time. Without my phone to play with, I felt a bit naked. Disconnected from my life, cast adrift. The entire time I expected Xander to somehow find me. Track me down and come bursting through the door with flowers and false apologies. It kept my anger at a simmer, thinking of what I’d say to him if given another shot.

  “Here you go, ma’am.” He slid the phone across the counter top, and I breathed out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. Finally free.

  “Thank you. What do I owe you?”

  He smiled at me, and the innocence of the look put a dent in my self-righteous rage. Turned the burners down from an eight to a four.

  “Actually, uh. If you wouldn’t mind, there’s something you could do for me…”

  I narrowed my eyes, burners back to a seven. Always thinking with their dicks.

  “That depends, young man.”

  I put all of my best stern parent voice into the last few syllables, hoping to dissuade him from being improper.

  He persevered even in the face of my withering look. He pulled out his wallet, and took a bright pink square out of it. He handed it across to me, along with a black Sharpie.

  “My girlfriend is such a huge fan of yours. Would you mind giving an autograph?”

  I blinked, giving him a once over. He was awkward and chubby and obviously a nerd, and I had been a horrible, terrible judgmental bitch. Books and covers so rarely matched, a fact I knew far too well.

  I closed my eyes, felt them stinging. I opened them with a wide smile.

  “Of course. Tell you what, you’ve got my number. Give me a call next week, you and she can come by the Libido offices and I’ll sign anything you want.”

  An hour later I was safely ensconced in my sofa. I had given in to my feelings. Half a gallon of tear-soaked cookies and cream sat on my lap, surrounded by a small pile of crumpled tissues. I was flitting from one sappy, sad romance to another, none of them scratching the itch just right.

  Every time my phone buzzed, my heart skipped a beat. I was so conditioned by Xander that I was still yearning for him even after everything. I missed him, damn it. Even when I knew he couldn’t possibly reach me, I still ached for him. We’d been texting non-stop since that first night, and the loss of it was the death of something beautiful, taken before it’s time.

  It wasn’t the first time in my life I’d cried into my ice cream, but it was the worst.

  I was awoken by a terrible pounding. I thought at first that I was hungover, the smell of alcohol assaulting my nostrils. Then I remembered I’d busted out the Rum Raisin at some point last night, and that was much more likely the cause of my sour stomach.

  The pounding redoubled. I realized someone was assaulting my door like a SWAT team.

  “Charlotte! Char, I’m going to break this pinche window if you don’t open your door!”

  Ah. Elena.

  Seemed about right, considering the fact that I had bailed on the company’s most important meeting of the year yesterday morning and hadn’t been seen or heard from since. I was supposed to be on a flight to New York in twelve
hours and here I was, drowning in melted dairy and all the feelings.

  “I’m alive. I’m coming. Don’t throw your shoe at me.” I addressed my most pressing concerns in descending order as I eased out of the Cal King bed and made my way across the room. Every inch of my felt achy and misused. A whole night of junk food and feeling sorry for yourself really does a number on the body.

  Lena swept into the room, her arms full. I peeked at the pile of folders, phones, and spreadsheets she was carrying, hopeful that there might be a Starbucks cup balanced somewhere in the fray.

  “Are you ok? Have you called Ben yet? This is huge. Holy shit. The press is a madhouse outside.”

  My mind reeled to catch up.

  I wasn’t particularly surprised that my best friend had found out I’d broken up with Xander before I’d even told her. Even if he hadn’t gone to the office with Olivier for the meeting I hadn’t bothered to show up for, it was Elena’s job to know things about me. Nobody was in the know like Elena.

  But despite having fantasized about marrying Xander McMannis on a secret beach ceremony in Fiji and having six of his blue-eyed babies, we hadn’t actually signed any papers. Hell, I hadn’t even dropped the L bomb on him yet, thank god. Only my poor crushed heart knew about that. So I had no idea why Elena would want me to get my lawyers involved in my breakup. Or how today could possibly be a slow enough news day that this warranted reporters lining up outside my door.

  “Oh god. You haven’t heard.”

  Elena read the confusion on my face. She burst into a whirlwind of activity, turning on the laptop on my vanity, pulling up the plasma tv from it’s pocket in the footboard, and swiping on the phone I’d left connected by the bed.

  My heart froze as my face surrounded me. I was splashed all over the news, pictures of me at press junkets and charity openings being overlapped by scrolling tickers. As I reached to take the remote from Elena and turn up the volume, the screen split, plastering a picture of Otto Olivier next to mine. A cigar drooped out of his craggy mouth flaccidly and a blonde coed perched on his lap.

  —Libido Condoms CEO Charlie Campbell, with the help of an unnamed whistleblower, has been instrumental in the take down of one of America’s most notorious conglomerates,Olivier Industries. Uncovering years of sexual misconduct, harassment, misogynistic workplace conditions —

  The screen changed again, this time to the sight of a cigar-less, and much more harried Otto being led out of his high rise by two uniformed men and led to the back of an unmarked car.

  My heart hammered in my chest as the reporters voice droned on. Elena’s phone, my phone, the laptop— everything that could make a sound was. Alarms and notifications rang relentlessly.

  And all I could think about was him.

  “I— I have to go.”

  Elena’s protests, the thick crowd of photographers I had to wade through to get to my car, the goddamned traffic. None of it mattered. Nothing else mattered now.

  I’d been so hellbent on not trusting any man, not believing that Xander could want me. And yet here he was. Proving me wrong. Even after I’d walked out of his life, erased him, ignored him and told him it was over, the man had given up literally everything for me.

  Tears streaked my vision as I left the now-empty AirBnb. He’d checked out. Was I too late? Had he gone back to Chicago not even knowing that I loved him?

  I refused to give in to the despair.

  The Libido employee parking lot was empty—not unusual for a weekend. But the circus of reporters outside was certainly not the norm. I ignored them, rushing in a side entrance and taking the stairs two at a time until I reached the glass conference room doors.

  He was there.

  “Xander.” Tears, relief, and emotion threatened to choke me as I

  Chapter10

  Xander

  I couldn’t keep my hands off of her for one more second. She was unlike any woman I’d ever been with, unlike anyone I’d ever met. She was so full of life, filled to the brim with it. Overflowing with passion. It was in everything she did— from the way she ate to the way she talked. Even the way she tied her shoes was intoxicating to me.

  The way she kissed. Especially the way she kissed. Fuck, could she kiss. My cock was already so hard I could cut diamond, and I hadn’t even gotten under her clothes yet.

  Yet.

  I picked her up, an action that made her break our kiss with a shriek of laughter. She definitely wasn’t a slip of a girl, but a real woman. She filled my arms in an incredibly arousing way, her curves overflowing. I pressed a kiss between her breasts before I pushed her back onto the long conference table, sending papers scattering across the floor.

  “Xander, I— “

  “Shh.” I shushed her, one finger to her lips, the other hand working its way under her dress. I brushed across the thin fabric of her panties, feeling her heat. I groaned at the feeling of the soaked fabric. She was so wet already, and we had barely started. Passion personified.

  I trailed kisses down her throat, across the tops of her breasts. I dragged one knuckle across the front of her pussy, testing her clit. She moaned, head lolling back to expose the beautiful curve of her neck. I kissed it again, sucking. I knew it would leave a mark, and for once I didn’t care. I wanted to mark her, claim her, make her mine.

  Her hands were buried in my dark hair, her legs spread around me. I dragged my mouth down to her tits, pulling the top of her dress down far enough to latch my lips around her perfect pink nipple. I traced a circle around the stiff peak with my tongue while I sucked, making her hiss and squeeze my hand between her thighs in a vice grip.

  “Xander, I’m going to— “ She convulsed, back arching, grinding against my hand as she had her first orgasm of the rest of our lives. Her climax was just as passionate as she was. She shook her head side to side, mouth open in a silent scream. I wanted to hear her give voice to that intense pleasure, but I realized I’d have to do more to coax it from her.

  I kept working my way down her body, sliding the dress down around her hips as I went. I traced her curves with my fingers and lips and tongue, making a prayer of myself against the temple of her body. She was a goddess. Five thousand years ago, men would have built idols and sacrificed to her incredible beauty.

  I slid her panties down with her dress. She lifted her hips, aiding me in divesting her of the last shreds of clothing. I let it slide down her legs to pool on the floor. clad only in her red-bottomed heels, she was a vision. I took a moment to appreciate her laid out naked before me.

  “See something you like?” She asked, coyly.

  “Everything.” I said, and meant it.

  I knelt at the edge of the table, running my hands along the tops of her thighs, spreading her legs around me. I ghosted my lips across the heat of her lips, hovering half an inch from her clit, teasing her with the imminent promise of the touch of my mouth against her pussy.

  “Xander, please. I need it.”

  There she was. She’d found her voice, and as I suspected, once found she couldn’t stay quiet.

  “Please what, darling?” I looked up at her from between her thighs, catching her eye as I extended my tongue to give her wet slit one long, slow lick.

  “Please, put your mouth on my pussy. Eat me. Fuck me with your mouth.”

  I didn’t answer her with words. Instead, I pressed myself against her core. I slid my tongue up and down her lips, savoring the sweet and salty taste of her. I closed my eyes, moaning against her. Her thighs squeezed around me, her body shuddering as I guided her to orgasms two and three in rapid succession.

  This time she wasn’t quiet, her voice rising and falling in a series of curses that left me grinning even as she dripped off my chin.

  I slid back up her body and kissed her with the taste of her own pussy on my tongue. It didn’t seem to dissuade her, which only made my cock throb even harder.

  “I need you.” My own voice was just as hoarse as hers, low and husky with desire.

  “
Then take me.” She gazed up at me with those perfect green eyes, and I couldn’t have torn myself away from them with a crowbar. She wrapped her legs around me, ankles linked in the small of my back like we had done this a thousand times. I had in my head already, fantasies I now knew she shared.

  The moment I pressed the head of my cock against her entrance I saw her eyes widen. Her nails dug into my back as she tightened her legs, pulling me into her.

  “Careful, Charlie baby. We need to go slow.”

  “Fuck that, Xander. I want you. Fucking give it to me.”

  I couldn’t hold back at that, groaning as I spread her around me. She was impossibly tight but spread around me like a flower blooming, liquid heat grasping me like a velvet vice. I shuddered as she clenched around me, an involuntary tightening that almost forced me out of her completely.

  I pumped my hips, driving into her slowly despite her protestations. I knew she hadn't had much sex and none of it good. I was determined to remedy that, to give her that fulfilling sex life she deserved. Everyone deserved that, especially someone as smart and sexy as Charlotte.

  I pressed my lips against hers, keeping my kiss as slow and deliberate as my fucking. She was hungry for it, the appetizer of my mouth on her pussy giving her a taste for more. She was wanton and greedy in her desire and it made taking it slow harder and harder.

  I dragged my dick across her g-spot, savoring the way the spike of pleasure made her shudder and gasp around me in sudden orgasm. Her nails raked down my back, heels beating a staccato against my back as she clung to me for dear life.

  She was incredibly responsive to my every touch, a model partner. I increased my pace and she pushed back against me in time, matching my rhythm. I slid my hands up from her hips to link my fingers with hers, squeezing them tightly.

  “Charlie, baby, I’m going to come.”

  The words themselves seemed enough to bring her to the edge of yet another orgasm. She shuddered and swore and leaned up to sink her teeth into the meat of my shoulder to muffle her cries of pleasure.