“Melody, honey, this is Austin,” I said. “And this is Dustin.” I pointed to each man as I made the introduction. “They are both very good friends of mine. Is it okay if they stay and have breakfast with us?”
I don’t know what compelled me to ask, but when Ava looked at me and smiled, I figured I’d done the right thing.
“They… they are good guys?” she tried to whisper to JJ, however it was loud enough for the rest of the room to hear.
“Oh yeah. The best guys. They work with Dad, protecting people. You don’t need to be afraid of them. Dad would never let someone come over unless he trusted them with his life. Because me, you, and Mom are his life. So, if they are here we can trust them.”
I heard Ava suck in a breath and she quickly wiped her eyes.
“Okay,” Melody answered.
“Thank you.” I smiled at Melody. “Ava, sweetheart, you need any help in here?”
“Nope. Why don’t you men go do man stuff and I’ll holler when breakfast is ready,” Ava suggested.
God, I loved this woman.
“Okay.”
Dustin and Austin started for the living room, and JJ high-tailed it out of the kitchen.
“Hey, where are you going, Jakey?” Melody called out.
“To do man stuff with Dad,” he yelled back.
That was met with another round of laughter.
Breakfast went well. Ava and April, with the help of Melody, made quite the spread. Dustin looked into Valerie’s next of kin and found out that both her parents died in a car accident years ago, and she had no brothers or sisters. She was all alone. When Dustin dug into her personal life, I was a little pissed. Okay, more like really fucking pissed she had dated a known gang member. There was nothing I could do now, but it really bothered me. Up until yesterday, she had worked at Red’s bar. I knew Red, the owner, he was a decent guy. Fair with his employees. The crowd could be rough, but Red was protective of his people. Valerie hadn’t been working there very long or I would’ve run into her sooner.
I debated whether or not I should call Ivory and ask him for more information about their relationship but thought better of it. While Mac was running his investigation I really needed to stay away from Ivory, and his tattoo shop. I didn’t want to say or do something I’d regret later.
Dustin also found Melody’s birth certificate, further confirming what I already knew, Melody was mine. The father listed on the birth certificate was Logan Smith. That twisted my gut thinking about Valerie walking around San Francisco pregnant with my child with no help. The fact that she didn’t know my last name and used ‘Smith’ left me with a bad taste.
Now I just had to find a way to tell a five-year-old that she would never see her mommy again.
36
Heaven
Ava
I tried to keep the kids and April occupied while Reid and the guys worked. We had turned the downstairs bedroom into his office. It was comical to see three hulk sized men stuck in a small room. I suggested they worked in the kitchen but Reid had said no. They needed privacy and there was no way he was leaving the house to go into his actual office. So, they were crammed into the small room doing whatever it is they do.
I was getting worried about Reid. When Melody first showed up, and all through breakfast, he had a fire in his eyes that was murderous. Now the look was one of sorrow and guilt. I don’t know what information they had found or why there was a change but I would prefer the look of rage over defeat.
The kids had helped clean up the kitchen and were now in the living room scanning the channels for something to watch, leaving April and I alone in the kitchen. It was so nice to see the woman smile and laugh through breakfast. There were a few times I could see a small glimpse of who April was before she lost Rick. One moment her smile was real and full of life, then I could see the exact moment she remembered that Rick was gone. The smile remained, only the shine left her eyes. I remember those days all too well, I had a brief moment when I forgot that my life wasn’t shattered. When I forgot that I wasn’t a widow, and I was happy for a split second.
Melody giggling at something. Hearing her laugh hurt my heart. She was as sweet as she could be. So polite and funny. When she asked JJ what ‘JJ’ stood for, she declared she liked the name Jake better. I waited for JJ to protest at the nickname, but he didn’t. He just smiled and let her call him whatever she wanted.
“Where does the mixer go?” April asked.
“You can leave it on the counter. Depending on how the kids are feeling we might bake cookies later,” I answered her.
Growing up, my parents were always standoffish. I was lonely most of the time. It seemed the only time either of them spoke to me was to reprimand me or criticize something I had done. The only good memory I had of my childhood was baking with my mother. I guess it stuck because when times are stressful or something is bothering JJ we baked.
“I’m beat. Who knew growing a human would be so tiring?” April sighed.
I couldn’t help but to laugh at her comment.
“The first part, you are always tired. The middle gets easier and you have more energy. By the end, you feel like someone has kicked you in your vagina. I swore the week leading up to JJ’s delivery, every time I stood up, I thought he was gonna fall out. That was wishful thinking, because after twelve hours of labor I was begging for a C-Section.”
April laughed and thought I was joking. I wasn’t. I could still vividly remember JJ’s delivery. Twelve hours of pain, wondering why I had been so dumb to turn down the epidural when I first arrived. Still to this day I find it amazing how quickly I forgot all about the ring of fire that was my vagina, the moment JJ was placed on my chest.
“I see an epidural in my future. I have seen videos of natural childbirth. That is not for me. I am not one of those strong women who can push past that kinda pain.”
“Smart. Now, go sit down. I’ll be right in,” I told April.
I made another pot of coffee for the guys, and wiped down the counter. I was just about to go into the living room when I heard April yelling my name.
I quickly rounded the corner to the living room, my eyes falling on the TV chills running down my spine.
“… another breaking news story. This time we are in front of the Motor Quill tattoo parlor,” the newscaster Paul Wesley announced.
The shot widened and yellow police tape surrounded the front of Ivory’s tattoo shop. The front window was smashed in. Holy shit. Reid needed to see this. I turned to run and get him and smacked right into a hard wall of vibrating man.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you were there,” I apologized.
Reid remained silent, his eyes glued to the TV.
“A source has told News 9 that an employee of Motor Quill was detained and questioned in connection to the Simple Simon murders but was released without charges. We have yet to find out if the break-in was an act of vandalism or if the owner of Motor Quill, James Wilis, was the intended target. An unidentified source has told News 9 that the words ‘we all fall down’ were found painted on the wall…” Before Paul Wesley could finish his report a very angry Ivory came stomping out of the tattoo shop.
“Mr. Wilis, could we please have a word with you? Was anything taken? Do you think Simple Simon is after you? Will you go into hiding?” Paul yelled out trying to get Ivory’s attention.
What an idiot. Ivory glared in his direction and started towards the newscaster.
“Leave,” Ivory yelled to Paul Wesley. “All of you, leave now. Get off my property.”
Ivory stayed on his side of the yellow tape. A huge man with a beard came out of the shop and stopped at Ivory’s side as a barrage of questions were peppered at Ivory.
“Is it true that your brother was questioned by the police?” Paul asked.
“How long have you known that your brother was a deranged murderer?” a woman’s voice yelled.
“GET THE FUCK GONE,” the bearded man yelled.
That was goin
g to cost the news channel a mint. Being that it was a live shot there was no chance to bleep out the F-bomb. Good slimy bastards, I hope they had to pay out the ass for that.
“Well, that is quite the scene in front of Motor Quill tattoo parlor. We apologize for the use of profanity. Unfortunately…”
“Turn it off,” Reid said interrupting the rest of what Gloria Styles was saying.
JJ quickly changed the channel, his eyes wide as he stared at Reid.
“Sorry, Little Man. I didn’t mean to snap at you. No more news. If you are flipping through the channels and you see a news broadcast on, don’t stop,” Reid said.
“Okay, Dad. Sorry, I was trying to find…”
“I know you were, son. It’s okay. You’re not in trouble. Just no more stopping,” Reid interjected.
Melody had JJ’s brown blanket again, pulled up tight under her chin. Reid’s eyes cut to Melody and his face softened. “You okay, Melody?”
“No,” she answered.
In three long strides, he was in front of the couch, and he was crouched down in front of her. “You are safe here. No one is gonna hurt you. I promise.”
“I want my mommy,” Melody cried.
“I know, baby, come here.”
Reid scooped her up and she immediately wrapped her arms and legs around him.
“April, you ready to go?” Austin asked.
April looked at me with sad eyes and got up. “Yeah, ready when you are,” she answered.
She whispered something in JJ’s ear that had him nodding his head before she walked over to me. “If you need anything you call me. I know you all think I am on the verge of breaking. But I am stronger than you all think. You are my best friend in the whole world. Promise you will call me if you need me,” April spoke softly.
“Of course, I will. And no one thinks you’re weak. We all know how strong you are.”
April nodded and kissed my cheek. “Bye, Ava.”
Reid walked the guys and April to the door with Melody still wrapped around him. He looked so natural with her in his arms. It made me wonder what he would look like with a tiny newborn in his strong arms. After Jacob died and I suffered a miscarriage, I never thought I would consider having any more children. Now I wondered if that was a possibility. If Reid wanted to have more, or if I could even have another one.
After my Ectopic pregnancy and removal of my damaged fallopian tube, the doctor told me there was only a forty-five percent chance I could get pregnant again. At the time that number didn’t mean anything to me. Now, the thought of not being able to have a child with Reid made me sad.
Reid came over to the couch and sat down next to JJ.
“Melody, there is something that I have to tell you,” Reid started.
Oh no. No, no, no, he was going to tell her. I looked at JJ and he was already crying. He knew what was coming too. He had overheard enough of the conversations to understand something bad had happened.
“Baby, I need you to hold on to me real tight, okay? Did your mommy ever tell you about heaven?” Reid asked. Melody nodded her head. “Good. Do you remember what she told you?”
“Mommy said that grandma and grandpa were in heaven with God, that’s why I never got to see them. She said that they were happy in heaven, that it was much prettier than San Francisco where we lived. That grandma and grandpa got to be happy forever now that they were with angels and God. That I couldn’t ever see them but they could see me,” Melody explained.
Reid didn’t speak for several minutes. No one did. As a matter of fact, I don’t think any of us took a breath. I looked at JJ and hoped having him involved in this conversation was the right thing.
“Melody, your mommy is in heaven now with your grandma and grandpa,” Reid whispered.
“Why? Why did mommy want to go to heaven and leave me here? Was she not happy in San Francisco?”
Oh. My. God.
“No, baby, your mommy loved you very much and never wanted to leave you.”
“My daddy is in heaven, too,” JJ said.
“He is?” Melody asked.
“My dad, Jacob, was a police officer and a bad guy killed him.”
“So, he’s in heaven with my grandma and grandpa and mommy?”
Reid and I watched as JJ took over the very hard conversation telling Melody her mom died. It was simply amazing watching my son.
“Yes. Mama says that when good people die they go to heaven. I know that my dad can still see me, and he watches out for me, my mom too.”
“If my mommy is in heaven with your dad, does that mean she died, too?”
“Yes, baby, she did,” Reid took back over the conversation.
“Will I get to stay here with you, or will Mandy take me?” Melody asked.
“Who is Mandy?” Reid questioned.
“Mandy lived with us. She would watch me while mommy worked. Mommy called her a roommate,” Melody clarified.
“You will live here with us from now on. But we can go back to your old house and bring all of your stuff here.” Reid brushed Melody’s hair back and gently rubbed her back.
“Okay.” Melody closed her eyes, her head still resting on Reid’s shoulder.
I was a little concerned that Melody hadn’t cried but then I remembered when I told JJ about Jacob’s death it took him a full day to process what death was and that he wasn’t going to ever see his dad again. As hard as I tried to explain it, at five, it is difficult for a child to process.
We all sat in silence. Reid continued to rock Melody and rub her back, until she fell asleep.
“I’m gonna put her in bed. She needs to get some rest,” Reid said before he stood with Melody in his arms.
I waited until Reid was up the stairs before I turned to JJ. “I’m proud of you. What you did, talking to Melody about your dad. That was brave and very kind.” I pulled JJ closer to me and he settled in my embrace.
“I’m sad her mom died.”
“I know you are. We all are. Thank God Reid found her when he did or she would have no one.”
The thought of that broke my heart. What if I hadn’t got the tattoo? What if Valerie hadn’t come into the shop when we were there? What if she had lied and said no, Melody, wasn’t his? All the what ifs were swirling in my head.
“I think Daddy did it.”
“Did what?” I asked.
“I think that Daddy made sure that Reid found her. Daddy was the one in the car with Melody. I know he was. She said Jacob was in the car and was singing the song that I remember him singing to me. I know it was my dad. He is a hero.”
Damn, but, I loved this boy. As crazy as it sounded, and I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t lived it, but I thought JJ was right. Jacob was watching out for us.
“I agree with you, son. Your dad was watching out for Melody and brought her to us when she needed us. No doubt in my mind,” Reid’s voice cracked. “What you did, the strength and compassion you just showed, never been prouder of you.”
JJ tucked his head trying to hide his tears.
Reid, however, did not. There standing in the living room, my big strong man allowed his tears to roll down his face. I had never loved him more than I did in that moment.
Jacob “Jakey” Jr. - Upstairs in Melody’s bedroom
Mom and Dad think I’m in my room playing. I’m not. I’m sitting on the floor of my sister’s room watching her while she takes a nap. Dad said that girls needed big brothers to watch over them and protect them.
I’m her big brother now. So, I need to sit here and watch over her.
“Jakey?” Melody whispers.
“Right here,” I answer.
“I’m scared.” Now she’s crying. I don’t know if I should get Mom and Dad. “Can you come sit with me?”
I stand up and sit on the edge of her bed still not sure what to do.
“Jakey, I miss my mommy. I want to go home.”
“I know you miss her. I miss my dad too.”
“Will your mommy
be my new mommy now?” Melody is crying harder now.
“Yes, my mommy will be your mommy. But only if you want her to be.”
“Are you my brother now?”
“Yes, I am your big brother.”
“Will you stay with me?”
“Always.”
“Promise you won’t leave me?”
“I promise.”
Melody’s eyes close and I sit on the edge of her bed staring at the wall. I wish I brought a book or something. I can’t leave to go get one now. I promised her I would stay, and you can’t break a promise.
37
Good-Bye My Love
Reid
I’d really like to say the last few days have gotten easier but they haven’t. They’ve fucking sucked. Every time Melody cried over Valerie my gut twisted and I wanted to kill someone. The only silver lining was that she had taken to JJ, and the two of them were inseparable.
Something big that had changed in the last few days was Ava had decided to sell the Café. I tried to talk her out of it, she loved her restaurant, but she was adamant. Michael and Suzie actually asked if they could purchase it. It was shocking that Suzie would want to step foot back in the café after what had happened there. Without even discussing money or details, Ava had said yes.
I overheard Ava and Suzie talking while we were visiting her in the hospital. Ava told her with the sale of her old house and the café she could afford to stay home and be a full-time mom for at least a year if not more.
Of course, an argument ensued when I told Ava she didn’t need to worry about money, since she wouldn’t be paying any bills anyway. And as long as she wanted to stay home, she would. The discussion got heated when I laid it out for her—that I was the man and I was going to take care of my wife and family. It ended when she called me a caveman and stomped away.
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