Mac called the day after Melody showed up, spoke two words, and hung up.
It’s done.
That was all I got from him. Before I could question him further he disconnected. The moratorium on watching the news had not lifted. I didn’t want Ava or the kids to watch any of that shit. The fucking jack ass Paul Wesley’s smug ass needed to be throat punched. The last newscast I saw, he was yelling out the most jacked up questions to Ivory.
Mac was not in a good place with the anniversary of Jacob’s murder right around the corner. Ava and JJ were both slowly pulling into themselves. That had to change. Mac was not returning calls. It was beginning to piss me off. If I wasn’t so wrapped up with Melody I would track his ass down and demand that he talk to me.
It was after dinner and JJ was upstairs getting ready for bed. Ava was cleaning up dinner dishes. I had just walked into my home office to shut down for the night when Melody walked to the door and stopped.
“You wanna come in?” I asked.
“Would it be okay if JJ stayed in my room again?” she asked shyly, not moving from the doorway.
This was also something that happened. Melody wouldn’t sleep by herself. Not that Ava and I expected her to. The first night she was here, we all piled into our king-sized bed and slept together. Even if Melody hadn’t been afraid, I would’ve pulled them all in there. I wanted my family close. Everyone in one room where I could watch over all of them.
The next night, Melody asked JJ to come in her room and sleep. JJ being JJ jumped at the chance to be her big brother.
“If it’s alright with JJ. You know, if you want, you can stay with me and Ava, too. Wherever you want.”
“Mommy, I mean, Ava said you and JJ were reading a bedtime book. Can I hear it too?”
“Of course, you can. We are reading a Narnia book,” I told her.
It fucking broke my heart that my own daughter was standing ten feet from me asking if it was okay if she listened to a bedtime story. I had to remind myself that it had only been a few days since I found her, a few days since her mom died. It would take time before she felt comfortable.
“Mommy told me that you were my dad before she went to heaven. She said that she was so happy that you found us. That she always wished I would get to meet you.”
Holy shit. I knew that Valerie told her I was her dad, but I didn’t think the details of that conversation were very important in light of everything else that was happening.
“I am very happy I found you, too. The minute I saw you walk into Ivory’s I knew that you were my daughter.”
“You did?” She smiled. “How did you know that?”
“It was your beautiful green eyes.”
“How did my eyes tell you I was your daughter? Are you playing a funny with me?”
She was so damn cute. I wished I could scoop her up and hug her. But she wasn’t ready for that.
“No, I’m not playing a funny with you, silly. Come here and look at my eyes.” I motioned for her to come closer. She did and stood a few feet from me. “You may have to get closer to see, but look at the color of my eyes and tell me what you see.”
Melody took another timid step closer and stared into my eyes. I swear to God, it freaked me out that her eye color was exactly like mine. The more I studied her face, the more features I found that resembled mine. I couldn’t wait for Damion to meet his niece. He was up to his ass in club shit and stressed out. But he promised to make it over here to meet her as soon as he finished up this next run.
“Hey. You look like me,” Melody said enthusiastically.
“Nope, you look like me.” I smiled back.
As worried as I was when I first met Melody about not feeling an instant connection with her, I was happy I felt one now. It’s funny how that worked. How one minute this little girl could be a perfect stranger, and the next I would give my life if that meant she would be happy. Every time a smile hit her face, I swear warmth spread through me reminding me that life was good. Thankfully her smiles were coming more and more.
“Am I allowed to call you daddy?” she blurted out.
“Of course, you are.” I had to swallow a few times before I could continue. I’m not gonna lie… I was more than a little choked up. “I would love it if you called me daddy. But only if you want to, okay?”
“I want to.”
I looked up and found Ava standing in the doorway watching us with a huge smile on her face. She was so beautiful.
“Hey, Melly you wanna come upstairs with me and get some jammies on so you can watch a little TV with JJ and your daddy before bed?”
Hearing Ava call me daddy to Melody was a thing of beauty. I knew my woman was happy with the latest progress. Her family was healing.
“Yes. And Logan… I mean, Daddy said I could listen to the bedtime story, too. I have to ask Jakey if it’s okay with him.” Melody was bouncing up and down.
“Run upstairs, baby, I’ll be right behind you.”
“Mom… I mean Ava, can you braid my hair pretty again before bed.”
Melody slipped all the time calling Ava, ‘mommy,’ but always corrected herself. Each time Melody did it, Ava winced. I wondered if she didn’t want Melody calling her mommy.
“Sure will. I’ll braid it while we are watching a show.”
“Okay.”
Melody ran out of the room, and Ava continued to stare at me from the doorway.
“See, there was nothing to worry about,” Ava said.
“What?” I didn’t quite understand what she was talking about.
“You and Melody. She just needs some time to adjust. It will take time, but she will slowly come around.”
“How did you know?” I had never told Ava about my doubts or insecurities.
“I know you, Logan Reid. I know you worry about everything. It was written all over your face from the moment you told me about her.” She walked further into the room coming to a stop in front of me. “I know you’re worried about your relationship with her. I know this because you’re a good man and a good dad. Tonight was a huge step. I’m thrilled she is starting to feel more comfortable around us. I thought it would take months before she called you daddy. She is one amazing little girl. I love her dearly.”
Goddamn, my woman was perceptive and fucking amazing.
“Does it bother you when she slips and calls you mom?”
“Yes and no. Yes, because it reminds me that Valerie is gone. And my heart breaks all over again. I hate that she is hurting. I hate that I cannot take that for her just like I couldn’t take it for JJ. No, because one day I hope that she will come to love me like a mother figure. I could never replace Valerie, but it would be an honor to have her love me enough to want to call me mom. It could take years, and something I would never force. Just because she doesn’t call me mom doesn’t make me love her any less. But, honestly, I would love to be her mom,” Ava admitted.
“You amaze me, Ava. Your kindness and love knows no bounds. I am so fucking lucky to have you.”
Before she could protest, I pulled her into me and brushed my lips against hers. What was meant to be a tender kiss to convey how much I loved her quickly turned into something else entirely. The moment I felt her soft tongue lick my bottom lip, my cock twitched, a painful reminder I hadn’t had her in days. I deepened the kiss, and she moaned in my mouth. Just as I was considering locking the door and bending her over my desk we were interrupted.
“Jakey!” was yelled from upstairs.
Ava giggled into my mouth, and I could feel her smile against my lips. I didn’t see what was funny, my cock didn’t either. It throbbed in my jeans, begging for me to ignore the yelling from upstairs.
“Duty calls, handsome.” She slid her hand down my chest, down my stomach, and grabbed my cock through my jeans. “We’ll take care of this after the kids go down.”
I watched my woman strut her fine ass out of my office, forcing myself to stay put and not go after her. Yeah, we’d take care of it tonight, alright.
I clocked April and Austin the moment we pulled into the cemetery. She was standing in front of the freshly dug grave in a knee-length black dress that showed off what Ava called her baby bump. Whatever the fuck that was. It looked to me like someone had taken a basketball, cut it in half and placed it over her stomach. She was so slender that her belly was extremely noticeable. And this new bump seemed to pop out overnight.
We left both of the kids with Mac. It took a little convincing for Melody to warm up to him, but JJ saved the day with stories of how great his uncle was, and how he was her uncle now too. I knew all that spoiling Mac did would come in handy one day. Mac showed up with an American Girl doll. This one had red hair, fair skin, and freckles.
Melody was so excited that she ran to her room to get the American Girl doll we had gotten her so the dolls could play dress up together. Score for Mac. Ava walked to him, wrapped her arms around him and thanked him for being such a good uncle. I’d say that was improvement.
Mac was torn about coming to Rick’s memorial or staying behind to watch the kids. I felt like shit having to ask him, but there was no one else. He was the only one we felt comfortable asking. When I conveyed that to him, he said that Rick would understand and he’d pay his respects later.
I hoped after Ava and Mac worked through what was going on between them, Mac could finally put the unwarranted guilt behind him and finally move on. I’d watched my friend fuck mindless twits for the last six years. Falling into whatever warm body he could, to take his mind off of the constant pain. It was time for him to move on.
“It’s just gonna be us, right?” Ava asked as I parked the Camaro.
“Yes, April decided she only wanted us here today,” I answered.
Ava pulled a small powder blue jewelry box out of her purse and checked her phone again. In the fifteen-minute drive here she must’ve checked that phone twenty times. Before we left, I found her crying in the bathroom. I thought with today being what it was, it was bringing up bad memories for her. I was a little surprised, but I shouldn’t’ve been, when she told me she was worried about leaving Melody. That she was worried she’d get scared, or upset and she wouldn’t be there. After a little reassuring, she dried her eyes and finished getting ready. Only further reminding me how good my life was.
I rounded the hood and opened Ava’s door. The moment she was free of the door I grabbed her hand. I needed it. I needed to feel her warmth. She had a way about her that soothed all the jagged edges, made the swift points not so painful.
When we closed in on Austin and April, Ava let go of my hand and wrapped April up in a hug. Both women stood crying. Both sharing something that no woman should have to. Both burying good men way too early. Both men only living half a life. A life that promised them good things. I could only hope that April found it again one day. A man that would be deserving of a good woman. And I could think that standing at Rick’s gravesite because I knew that is what he would want for April. He would want her to move on with her life and find happiness.
“I have something for you,” Ava said as she wiped her eyes. “Something for you, and something for the baby.”
“You didn’t…”
“I know I didn’t,” Ava cut in. “It’s just something small.”
Ava held out the jewelry box to April. She didn’t immediately reach out for it. Instead, she just stared. No one said a word or rushed her. Austin stood behind her, ever the watchful guard.
When April finally took the box from Ava, her hand fell to her side and she grabbed my hand. April slowly opened the box and when she did, tears streamed down her cheeks when she saw the two pendants Ava had made.
“Thank you,” April spoke softly, “I don’t know what to say. They are perfect. Now I will always have a part of him.”
After Sally had released Rick’s body he had been cremated. Ava had two custom pendants made that would each hold some of Rick’s ashes.
Ava didn’t reply. She couldn’t. Her face was buried in my chest, tears soaking through my suit jacket.
Austin stood beside April as the Pastor spoke about Rick. A steely look that was so full of grief he couldn’t have masked it if he tried. I had to find a way to get him to open up. He needed some fucking sleep, and to unload. Dustin stood on the other side of me. He had always been more open and forthcoming than Austin. Dustin had unloaded on me. In my garage hitting my heavyweight bag with a bottle of whiskey. He drank and beat the shit outta my bag until he crumpled to the floor knuckles bloody and unleashed his grief.
It guts a man, to watch another man break down in front of him. After witnessing Dustin, I had more respect for him as a brother than I ever had. That took more trust than most are willing to give to a friend. Him allowing me to see him vulnerable, and low. It was a Goddamn honor, is what it was. One I will always be thankful he gave me.
After the Pastor was done speaking, April took the shovel being offered to her and walked towards the fresh pile of dirt. She slowly pulled up a shovel full of the loose soil and stared at the hole. Austin started to walk around the grave to where she was standing but she shook her head. It visibly pained Austin not to go to her side.
“I promise to take care of this life we created. I vow to keep your memory alive, every day for the rest of my life. I pledge that from this day on I will allow a small amount of joy into my life every day, because I know you loved me so much that you would be mad if I gave up. I believe that even in death our love is strong and real and everlasting. I never got to call you my husband. And that is okay, because while I had you, I had the honor of calling you my very best friend. Good-bye, my love.” April gently turned the shovel allowing the dirt to spill off and fall into the grave.
She brought her head up and pinned each of us with a stare. “Rick would…” She blew out a breath and tried again. “Rick would be so thankful, and proud of each and every one of you. Each of you have shown me more support than I could’ve ever hoped for. Dustin, Austin, Reid, the three of you were his best friends. He loved each of you, thought of you all as his brothers. Even though I might be shocked at the kindness and support you all have shown me. I know he is in heaven looking down smiling, in the knowledge that each of you are exactly what he knew you to be, the best men he knew. Men he looked up to, men he aspired to be.”
April stopped and pulled three envelopes out of her purse.
“I have an envelope for each of you. I know each of you will open them at different times, maybe not even open them for months. And that’s okay. I know what they say. When you are ready, you can read his words to you all. In the meantime, while I can feel Rick’s presence around me, I’m going to tell you what they say.”
Ava squeezed my hand tight, and I wondered if April had shared the contents of the letters.
“When we found out I was pregnant, Rick being Rick went into over-protective hyperdrive. Sorry babe, but you did.” April laughed and looked up towards the clouds. We all chuckled along with her. That sounded like Rick. “So anyway. He had to update his will of course, set up a college fund, research all sorts of stuff on drinking water and lead paint. I won’t bore you with all the details. But one other thing he did was sit down and write each of you a letter. In the letter, he has requested each of you to be the baby’s Godfather. He has a reason for wanting each of you to stand up for his child. Those reasons are yours alone and you will find them in the letter. Now I tried to dissuade him, with three over-protective hyper-vigilant badasses as Godfathers, I feared if this baby is a girl she will not only never get a prom date, but never get a first kiss.”
“Goddamn right she won’t,” I chuckled.
“Not a boy good enough for her,” Dustin added.
I waited for Austin to weigh in, but it never came. He was stone-faced.
“So, it would be an honor if all thr
ee of you would stand up for this baby and help me teach it all the things he or she will need to know about life. If you could all help me teach this baby about Rick and who he was and what he stood for, I would be grateful. I’m going to need it. And Ava, I was hoping that you would be the baby’s Godmother. You, friend, are a force of hope and love and embody everything a mother should be.”
Ava tried to answer through her tears, her head nodding. “There would be no greater honor than being the baby’s Godmother.”
“Great. Now that all of that is settled and out of the way. I’ll give you all whatever time you would like with Rick before we head off to Red’s to toast one hell of a guy.”
I was in shock. Total and utter shock of April. I don’t know where she found the strength to get through all of what she just said. But, she impressed the hell outta me. Damn but Rick was a lucky man to have had her standing beside him. I understood now, when he told me he was stronger with her by his side, that she made him a better person. At the time I thought he was blowing smoke up my ass and was turning soft. Now… now, I got it. All of it. Even if I didn’t have that same great love with Ava now. Seeing April up there pushing through her sadness, I would’ve understood. She was remarkable.
April handed us our letters, and each of us said good-bye to our friend, our brother. And we did go to Red’s and celebrate one hella good man.
By the time we left the bar, Ava was on pins and needles to get home. She wanted to see the kids. But there was something different about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it was like a fire had been lit in her belly. Her eyes were bright, her smiles came quick, and she somehow looked lighter. Like a cloud had been lifted.
Whatever it was, it was pure beauty. And mine. All mine.
I was one lucky bastard.
38
Full Circle
Ava
Today was the day.
It was the one day of the year that I hated. I dreaded it with every cell in my body. Only today, when I woke up wrapped up in Reid’s shield, I didn’t hate it quite as bad. Sure, today still hurt. Sure, today held sadness and the memory of loss. But today, on this anniversary of Jacob’s murder, the day also held hope.
Unbroken Page 30