Unbroken

by Riley Edwards

  Hope for the future.

  Today was the day I was going to make things right. I was finally strong enough to do what I should have done a long time ago.

  I knew that Reid was worried about me. I had been secretive and needed to pull into my head to work out the rest of my feelings. When he asked what he needed to do to help me, I didn’t shut him out, I gave him honesty. I just needed his quiet strength and his promise he wouldn’t give up on us. That was all I needed to pull through today.

  Today was a new beginning.

  “Jake. Melody. Do you want to come down here and put the frosting on the cake?” I yelled up the stairs.

  Two resounding yeses came floating down. Two sets of feet ran to the top of the stairs.

  “Whoa, slow down there, speed demons. A trip to the ER is not on today’s agenda.” That sounded hauntingly familiar.

  Melody and Jake made their way into the kitchen. The cake had cooled and was ready for frosting. We only had about fifteen minutes until Reid and Mac got back. If I wanted this cake frosted before we left, we had to hurry.

  “Alright we don’t have much time,” I said to the kids.

  “Can I help? I’ve never put frosting on,” Melody asked.

  I glanced at JJ waiting for him to answer. This was a special tradition for him. I had baked cupcakes for Melody to frost in the off-chance JJ didn’t want to share.

  “Of course, you can. You frost that side, and I’ll frost this one.” JJ pointed to the cake.

  I watched as the kids each frosted their side and smiled when Melody tried to get her side to look as perfect as her brother’s. I listened as they prattled on about licking the leftover chocolate frosting off the spatulas. Their sweet voices filled my heart.

  Today was a good day.

  Melody was resilient and making huge improvements every day. She had stopped asking JJ to sleep on her bedroom floor now that she had a bed full of stuffed animals to sleep with her. Her hugs and kisses came fast and frequent now. She was healing. And it was beautiful.

  By the time the kids were done licking the bowl and spatulas clean, they had chocolate all over their faces and hands.

  “Go wash your faces. We’re gonna leave in a minute.”

  “Okay,” Melody said and jumped off her stool running towards the stairs.

  JJ hung back a minute, a worried look on his face.

  “What’s going on, little man? You alright? I know today is tough,” I asked.

  “I was just going to ask you the same thing. Are you okay, Mama?”

  “Yes. My sweet boy. I am okay. Today will always be a sad day for us. But today, we are going to do things a little different.”

  “I’m okay too. I’m happy. Well, I mean, I’m sad today is the anniversary of when Dad died. But I am happy, too. Is that okay? Would Dad be mad at me?”

  “My beautiful, thoughtful son, your dad would never want you to be sad. Not one single minute. He would want you smiling and happy. Today we are not going to be sad. We’ve had five years of sad. Today, we celebrate your dad. No tears. No pain. Only joy and happiness. Today, we remember a good man, a good husband, and good father…” I looked up to see Mac and Reid in the doorway to the kitchen. “… and a good friend.”

  JJ looked over his shoulder at Mac and Reid “Hey Uncle Mac, hi Dad. I have to go wash my face.”

  Without waiting for them to reply, he was out of the kitchen heading for the stairs.

  “I see the kids decorated the cake,” Reid commented on the mounds of chocolate frosting.

  Mac chuckled sticking his finger in the leftover bowl of frosting, coming up with a huge glob. After he licked his finger clean he threw a wink my way as he exited the kitchen. “Damn that’s good woman. You almost ready?” he asked.

  “I am,” I replied.

  “Yeah, you finally are.”

  This time, when we pulled up to the cemetery, there were no blue and red flashing lights. There were no first responders lining the street. When we piled out of the car, this time there were no bagpipes to greet us. I was not in some dowdy black dress fit for a grieving widow.

  Today was about celebration.

  This time, I arrived at the cemetery with hope in my heart. I had finally found peace. We walked to Jacob’s final resting place and came to a stop. JJ was holding a dozen white lilies. Every year on our wedding anniversary Jacob would bring me white lilies. Now, we brought them to him every year. JJ knelt down and placed the flowers in front of Jacob’s marker.

  “Hi Dad,” he whispered.

  Mac, Reid, and Melody were all standing a few feet behind us. Mac was standing in the same place he stood each time we came. Ever faithful in his duties to watch over JJ and I.

  “Hi, Jacob.” I sucked in a breath and prepared for what I had to say. I had practiced it in my mind a thousand times. “I owe you an apology.” I looked over at JJ. He was so handsome, and so brave. God, I loved that boy so much. “I know that I have disappointed you, I have disappointed myself. I have been so lost in my head, lost in my grief, lost in my anger, and most of all my guilt that I have shut everyone out except JJ. I even pushed Mac away. But, of course, you know that. I did this all wrong. He promised you he would watch over us and I made him break that promise. I didn’t let him fulfill the vow he made to you. Well, not to the fullest extent I know he wanted to. And for that, I am truly sorry. I also pushed away our child, the one I lost. I refused to acknowledge that loss. We created that child out of love. I realized that by doing what I was doing, I was denying that the baby ever existed. I am sorry for that too.”

  I turned to look at Mac. “I am so sorry, Mac. I know I don’t deserve it but I hope you can forgive me. I want you to know, that even as I was pushing you away, I knew that you wouldn’t let me. I knew that you would always be there to care for us. I know that makes what I did even more wrong. But that is the truth. Thank you, Mac, for everything.”

  “Nothing to apologize for, Ava. I’m just pleased as fu… just pleased that you and JJ are happy again. That is all I ever wanted for the both of you.” Mac’s voice was full of emotion.

  “I need to thank you, Jacob. I know that when Carl took me, you kept our son safe. I know you spoke to him the same way you spoke to me. Hearing your voice again was a Godsend. I miss your voice. I miss your laughter. I just miss you. I also want to thank you for Melody. For bringing her to us. For sitting with her and singing to her. For giving her strength when she needed it. I want you to know that not a day goes by we don’t think about you. Thank you for bringing us Reid. I know that was you, too. I know you are watching out for us. He loves us, the same way you loved us. We love him too. He protects us and watches out for us. He is helping those seeds you planted grow. Him and Mac both. He’s a good dad. I love you, Jacob, always.”

  I stepped back and found myself in Reid’s strong arms. Careful not to crush the bouquet of wildflowers I was holding, he hugged me. “I love you, Ava,” he whispered.

  JJ was smiling looking at his dad’s marker. I looked at the marker next to his that was covered with a black cloth and prayed I had done the right thing. The plot next to Jacob used to be mine. We had bought two burial plots together.

  I pulled out of Reid’s arms and looked at Mac. He nodded his head, encouraging me to continue.

  “Melly, baby, can you come sit over here with me?” I asked.

  She let go of her dad’s hand and sat where I was pointing. JJ had come over and sat next to me too.

  “Do you understand what this place is?” I asked.

  “Yes, it is where dead people are buried,” she answered.

  “You’re right. And you see that stone there,” I pointed to Jacob’s marker. She nodded her head and I continued. “That has Jake’s dad’s name on it. It marks where he is buried so we can visit him.” I pulled the black cloth of the stone marker. “Do you know what this says?”

  Melody leaned over and studied the freshly cut stone. “Valerie Fairman. That’s mommy’s name.”

 
; “Yes. That’s your mommy’s name. This is where your mommy is buried. Right next to Jake’s dad. Now, anytime you want, we can come and you can sit and talk with mommy, and we can bring her flowers. For today, I brought these for you to give to your mommy.” I handed Melody the flowers. “Next time we come you can pick out your mommy’s favorite flower.”

  “What do I do?” she asked.

  I stood up and left Jake and Melody sitting next to Jacob and Valerie.

  “Anything you want, Melly. Just set the flowers down. You can talk out loud or in your head. Whatever you want. Sometimes, I talk out loud. But today, when I talked to my dad, I wanted to tell him a secret, so I just thought it in my head.”

  “What was your secret?” she asked.

  “It won’t be a secret if I tell you.”

  “Please. Pretty please. You’re my brother, you have to tell.”

  Oh boy, that girl was good. Almost as good as JJ when he wanted something. I see bad things in our future with these two swindlers.

  “I told my dad, that I was happy that Mama had Reid. That she wasn’t sad any more. And I told him that Reid tells me cool stories about him. Ummm, oh and I thanked him for bringing my sister home and for protecting you until dad could.”

  Wow.

  “Hi, mommy. I miss you.” Melody started to cry. “Sometimes I am still scared, but my big brother sneaks in my room and sleeps on the floor. Daddy is nice, and he tells me every night when he reads us our bedtime story that he loves me. Like that? Am I doing it right?” she asked JJ.

  “Yep.” He smiled, obviously thrilled that Melody was telling Valerie about him.

  “Okay, good. I’m back Mommy, Ava lets me help her cook and she brushes my hair pretty. Wait, Ava is JJ’s mommy. When I asked JJ if Ava was my new mommy he said that it was up to me. I’m not sure yet. Is that okay with you? Oh and, Uncle Mac is super cool. Jakey was right. He tells us funny stories. And there is a swear jar just for him, because he says those naughty words. JJ says he is gonna buy a car from the F-bombs. That’s cool, right? Maybe Uncle Mac will give me F-bombs, too.”

  I felt Reid shaking beside me, trying not to out and out laugh. His lips at my ear again before he spoke softly, “There are no words for this. What you’ve done today. What you just gave Melody. I don’t know how you pulled this off but thank you.”

  “Mac helped. And there are no thanks necessary. I love you, and I love her. She needed a place to visit her mom.”

  “… that’s all for now. But Ava said she’ll bring me back here, and I can tell you more. I love you, Mommy. I wish I could see you.” Melody whispered the last part.

  Both kids walked over to us, and I suggested we walk to the nearby fountain to give the guys a minute.

  The kids talked and I allowed my thoughts to wander. I saw Mac bend down and touch Jacob’s head headstone and walk back toward the car. Reid took longer, first in front of Jacob, then in front of Valerie. He looked in our direction and his smile was so big and wide it took my breath away. I didn’t need to see them to know his dimples were out, and the smile lines were around his eyes.

  When we got back to the Rover the kids piled in and I called over to Mac before he could get in his car.

  “Hey Mac? You got a few more minutes?”

  He didn’t reply. He just shut his car door and made his way over to me.

  “You got this, sweetheart. I’ll wait with the kids.” Reid kissed my forehead and I grabbed the sunflowers out of the back of the truck.

  “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know how to start this conversation. “I think I’ve blamed you all these years. I don’t know. Maybe because it was you that told me, that I illogically blamed you for telling me. Like, if you had never told me, then it wouldn’t be real. I don’t know, I was all kinds of screwed up.”

  “I know you did.”

  “You knew?”

  “Of course, I did. And, honestly, I knew you needed someone to blame. And I was okay being that person for you. If it made it just a little easier for you to be mad at me, I was willing to take it. But, I was on the verge of helping you pull your head outta your ass when Reid finally got his outta his ass and decided to claim you. I figured Reid could sort you out.”

  “Do you really think that Jacob would be happy that I have moved on?”

  “Yes.”

  “Just yes, huh?” I laughed.

  “What do you want me to say? Jacob loved you so much. He would never want you and JJ to be sad for the rest of your lives. And before you ask, yes, he’d be pleased it was Reid. They didn’t know each other well. But, Jacob respected him, and thought he was solid. More than that, I know that Jacob trusted Reid.”

  We came to a stop in front of a place I hated to go. Every year I fought with Mac about coming here. Yet, this year he walked straight to his car after we visited Jacob.

  “Why didn’t you suggest that we come here?” I asked.

  “Because, you didn’t need me to.”

  “What if I decided not to come? What would you have done?”

  “Nothing. Me bringing you here wasn’t about you coming here to stare at a piece of stone. It was about forcing you to acknowledge that you losing the baby wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know that I couldn’t control the ectopic pregnancy. And I know I didn’t do anything wrong. Thank you. Thank you for not giving up on me. I was a bitch; you didn’t deserve what I gave you.”

  “It’s all good.”

  I leaned down and placed the sunflowers on the marker. I placed my fingers over my lips kissing them before placing them on the marker that Mac had made.

  It simply read, Kelley.

  We walked back into the house and I looked around.

  Today was a good day.

  I looked at our comfy chocolate brown overstuffed couches that my family sat on nightly to watch TV together. My eyes scanned the living room where my family laughed enjoying each other’s company. I noticed Melody’s crayons and coloring books on the coffee table and JJ’s tablet next to them. There were little girl shoes mixed with not so little boy shoes thrown near the shoe basket never having actually made it in. Reid’s boots sat next to them neatly lined up.

  My eyes hit the shelves and I looked at the framed pictures. Jacob and JJ together. Valerie and Melody at her last birthday. Pictures of Mac and Reid, Jacob, me and Mac. Me with JJ. Even one of Damion and Reid when they were teenagers. All that was missing was a family picture of all of us.

  One day that would be added to the shelf as well. We would have a lifetime to fill the walls with pictures and fill the house with memories.

  “Who’s ready for cake?” I called out.

  Four ‘mes’ called back and we all went into the kitchen. I handed JJ the candles and he added the thirty-eight candles.

  He still had one candle in his hand. “Here, Melly, you can add the luck.”

  JJ handed her the candle. “Where should I put it?” she asked.

  “Wherever you want,” JJ told her.

  Melody took a moment and studied the cake. “Here,” she said and pushed the candle in.

  “It looks perfect. You all ready?” I asked as I lit the candles.

  I felt Reid’s arm go around my middle pulling me into him, his lips pressed against the top of my head.

  “I love you,” he said into my hair.

  “I love you back.”

  When the first line of ‘happy birthday’ hit my ears, warmth hit my belly and left a trail of happiness as it filled my heart. JJ was belting out the song loudly, Melody trying to keep up. Mac was staring at the cake with a broad smile, lighting up his whole face. Reid? Well, Reid was holding me tightly wrapping that shield around me. Only now I didn’t need that shield. I was free of guilt and at peace.

  Unbroken.

  The song came to an end, and JJ prepared to blow the candles out just like he had done for his father every year in his absence. Only this year, JJ didn’t have a chance to blow out the candles. A soft gust of wind floated through the ro
om, and all thirty-nine candles danced in the breeze before they extinguished. Jacob.

  Of course, the window was cracked open, and it was a windy day. But, I choose to believe that Jacob was in the kitchen with us that day. That he was celebrating his birthday with us. That he was finally at peace with the knowledge his family was finally happy.

  We sat and ate Jacob’s birthday cake, laughing at Mac as he told the most outrageous stories about the shenanigans he and Jacob got into while they were still beat cops.

  Today was a good day.

  The best day.

  My home was full of laughter, love, and more joy than one person could handle.

  Yeah, we were gonna have a great life.

  Afterword

  Thank you for purchasing Unbroken. I hope you enjoyed Ava and Reid’s story.

  I have written a bonus scene from Mac’s point of view. You can download the content directly from my website for free. (No sign up required) The scene takes place during Chapter Twelve and what happens when Reid leaves Mac alone to deal with Jimmy Kelley.

  www.rileyedwardsromance.com/unbroken-bonus

  Mac and Laura’s story is now available, grab your copy of TRUST now.

  Also by Riley Edwards

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