Empress in Disguise, Book 1

by Zoey Gong

  “Take it,” she says. Baba doesn’t. He looks to Mama, who shakes her head.

  “No,” he says. “I don’t trust you. Don’t know you.”

  “Look,” Mingxia says, opening the bag to show the gleaming gold coins. I hear Mama mutter something under her breath. It’s even more money than I thought. Not cheap copper coins—gold. More money than I could ever count.

  “This is only the beginning,” Mingxia says, and I start to understand that she is desperate. Just how much is she willing to offer? “I can bring you more if you agree. Just say yes.”

  Mama and Baba look at each other, each afraid to speak. Of course, part of me wishes they would say no, but they would be foolish not to consider the offer. They would be fools not to accept. But could they live with themselves if they said yes? Will we all starve to death if we say no?

  I can’t let them carry the burden of having to make the choice. Wasn’t I about to sell myself to a brothel only last night? It cannot have been mere chance that I stepped in front of the carriage of a girl who looks exactly like me and I didn’t go through with my plan. The ancestors must have some hand in this.

  Baba runs his hand over his mouth and chin. He knows he must give an answer. He looks at me.

  “Daiyu,” he says, his eyes tearing. It is killing him that he feels he must say yes, and I can’t bear it. I step away from him toward Mingxia.

  “I’ll do it,” I say. “I’ll take Lihua’s place at the consort selection.”

  “Paise Heaven!” Mingxia cries as she hugs Lihua to her. She then pulls me to her and hugs me tightly. When she lets go, she holds my face in both of her hands. “You won’t regret this, my darling.”

  As I pull away and look at my family with watery eyes, I know she must be right. They will live—we all will live, and none of us will have to be sold. It has to be the right choice.

  There is no other.

  4

  “Are you sure?” Baba asks.

  Of course I’m not sure! I don’t even know what I’m agreeing to. I just know that I can’t let my family starve when I could save them.

  “No!” Mama says, but Baba ignores her, speaking to Mingxia.

  “What exactly are you proposing?”

  “I’m sure it’s nothing much,” she says. “She probably won’t get picked. Her skin is dark and she lacks the refinement of a true Manchu. She would only need to stand in for Lihua at the selection, and when she is rejected, she can come back home. She would only be gone for a day at the most, I’m sure of it!”

  “If you really thought your daughter didn’t stand a chance of being picked, you wouldn’t be here,” Baba says.

  “The odds of Lihua or Daiyu being picked is very small. There will be hundreds of families descending on the capitol in the next few weeks ahead of the selection. Daiyu is one girl out of those hundreds. She’s not trained, not educated.” My cheeks flush red. “It is not an insult, dear, simply the truth, is it not?” I nod. “Exactly. She can’t play an instrument or recite poems. It’s a near impossibility that she would be picked. My daughter, though, is a highly trained lady of quality. The emperor would surely want her for himself.”

  “Then why doesn’t Lihua just play stupid?” Mingming asks, crossing her arms. “Fail on purpose.”

  Mingxia laughs. “Can the elegant swan pretend to be an ugly goose? Can the chrysanthemum appear as a vile weed? If Lihua tried to act the fool she would surely be caught and punished for trying to deceive the emperor.”

  I’m alarmed at this. “But what if I’m caught deceiving the emperor?” Mingxia presses her lips together, not wanting to say.

  “The penalty would be death,” Baba says. “It would be treason. We would all be held responsible.”

  Mama holds the baby tight with one arm and puts her other one around Junli. “No!” she says, and this time Baba doesn’t ignore her. “It’s too dangerous!”

  Baba looks at me, not as convinced as Mama that I shouldn’t do it. I suppose, if I am caught, I can just tell the emperor that I am an orphan, and that was why I agreed. No one ever need know about my family. If I died, at least they would be safe and well taken care of thanks to Mingxia’s money. Besides, I already said I would do it.

  “I’ll do it,” I say again.

  “Daiyu—” Baba says, placing his hands on my shoulders. “You don’t have to do this. We can find another way.”

  “No,” I say. “I want to do this. I want to make sure that none of us never go hungry again.”

  “It’s dangerous—”

  “I’ll be careful,” I say. “I’ll keep my head down and not attract attention. Lihua and I may look similar, but she’s far more beautiful, more elegant than I am. I’d never be picked, I think Ula-Nara Furen is right about that.” I see Mingxia smiling, holding her daughter tight.

  “But if you are, we would never see you again,” Mama says.

  My eyes water at the thought, but I do my best to keep them from falling. I can’t let my parents know just how terrified I am or they won’t let me go. “I won’t be. I promise.”

  “So, we are in agreement?” Mingxia says, and I can tell she is eager for us to strike a bargain.

  “Yes—”

  “No!” I say, cutting Baba off. I pick up the purse of coins. “This is payment for me attending the selection only. If I am picked, you must give my parents another bag of equal value—”

  “I think that’s fair,” Mingxia says.

  “I wasn’t finished,” I say. “And any gifts sent to your house by the emperor for the purchase of your ‘daughter’.” It is customary for a groom’s family to send gifts of animals, silks, furs, and other items to his wife’s family the day of the wedding, even when wedding a concubine. The emperor must surely send handsome gifts to the families of his consorts as well.

  Mingxia nods. “Done.”

  I try to hide that my hands are shaking as I close the purse and hand it to Baba. His eyes are wet and he holds tightly to my hand. “I always knew you were a good girl, Daiyu. But I had no idea just how selfless you could be. How did a worthless man such as I am ever raise such a dutiful daughter?”

  “You have endured hard, backbreaking work every day of your life to provide for us,” I say. “You and Mama have both given us your all. I can do no less for you.”

  “Come, Daiyu,” Mingxia says and she and Lihua walk toward the door.

  “What?” I ask.

  “You must come home with me, now. We need to get you cleaned up, find some clothes that will fit you. You can’t attend the selection looking like a pauper.”

  I look down at my simple, stained robe and wrap my arms around myself, suddenly feeling as if I am not wearing anything at all.

  “There are some things I must teach you. How to stand, how to walk, how to comport yourself.”

  “Comport?”

  “Oh, Heaven,” Mingxia says, rubbing her forehead. “See? We have a lot of work to do if we are to pass you off as the daughter of a Manchu lord. I suppose you don’t know about Manchu morning rituals?”

  I shake my head.

  “Or how to greet an emperor or empress?”

  I shake my head again.

  “Exactly. The selection is some time away, but we need to get to work as soon as possible.”

  I nod slowly. “Yes, I see. May I have a moment with my family?”

  “I suppose,” she says. “But only a moment. I’ll be waiting in the rickshaw.” She, Lihua, and their servant all stepped out of the house, and I feel as if I can take a breath for the first time since the man banged on our door.

  “Daiyu, you can still say no,” Mama says.

  “No,” I tell her. “I cannot. I have accepted her money and she has agreed to my terms. I must keep my word.”

  Mama bursts into tears, and I realize that she has been barely holding herself together this whole time. She sways and Baba and I help lead her to the bed before she falls. I hand the baby to Mingming, but I see Mingming is crying as well. Ju
nli is comforting Huanji, and I’m now on the verge of tears myself. I feel my determination wavering and wonder if I’ve made a terrible decision. Yes, we need the money, but the risks are so great.

  I think about what I told Junli just the other day about women in the Forbidden City never being able to leave. I wasn’t exaggerating. If I am chosen, I’ll be living in a prison. I am giving up any chance of freedom, any chance at a full life if I do this.

  But my family will live. And they will live well. The money in that purse alone will keep them from ever going hungry. And it will provide dowries for my sisters. They will be able to marry men with far better positions. Merchants, perhaps, instead of laborers or fishermen.

  Six lives in exchange for one. My life for that of my family—and of future generations to come.

  “I must do this, Mama,” I say, my confidence returning. I think Mama can see it in my eyes. She pulls me to her and holds me tight.

  “If you are chosen, this is the last time I will ever see you.”

  “And if I am not chosen, I’ll be back in a few weeks,” I say.

  “What Heaven wills,” she says and I nod. Whatever happens is never truly in our own hands, but that of the gods. I force myself to release her and stand. If I don’t leave now, I might not be able to. I turn to my sisters.

  “You are the oldest now,” I tell Mingming. “You must take care of the others.”

  “I will,” she says, trying to not cry.

  “Don’t go, Daiyu!” Junli says, wrapping her arms around my legs.

  “I must,” I say, prying myself away and kneeling down in front of her. “We will see each other again, I promise.” She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me with all the strength her little arms possess. It takes all my strength to remove her.

  “Be a good little girl,” I say to Huanji, who is only three so must not have any idea what is going on. She nods but says nothing as she clings to Junli.

  I stand and face the last person I must say goodbye to. Baba grips my shoulders, his eyes rimmed red. I think he wants to say something but will lose his composure if he does. I nod, feeling much the same way. He pulls me tightly to him and I lay my head on his shoulder and don’t fight the tears that I cannot hold back. I feel his shoulders shake and know that he is crying as well.

  Finally, I feel his grip loosen and I pull back. I have a sudden terrible thought at the memory of the Dong Fa drinking in the tavern after selling his daughters.

  “Use the money wisely,” I tell him. “Don’t waste it. If I’m not chosen, we won’t get any more. This must last us for a very long time.”

  He nods. “I know. Don’t worry about that.” I nod and press my lips. I’m sure there is more I should say, something profound, but I don’t know what.

  “The mistress bids you to come, now,” the man says, sticking his head back through the doorway.

  “I’m coming,” I say. Baba releases me and I move to the door.

  “Don’t you have a bag?” the man asks. I think for a minute, wondering if there is anything I need to take with me, but other than the clothes I’m wearing, I cannot think of anything. I shake my head. The man groans and steps back outside.

  I take one last look at the tiny one room that has housed my family for the whole of my life. The walls we cover with paper in the winter to keep us warm. The window with a broken shutter. The bin we use to wash dishes, clothes, and ourselves. The chipped cups and splintered chairs. The one large bed and few patched-together quilts. It’s not much, but it was all we needed.

  I look one last time at each member of my family. “I’ll see you again,” I repeat. “I promise.” Before they respond and my resolve shatters completely, I turn and run to the rickshaw.

  “About time,” Mingxia says in annoyance. She and Lihua crowed together as I climb up beside them.

  Lihua tisks as she tries to scoot far enough away that she doesn’t touch me. “She’s going to get my dress dirty,” she whines to her mother.

  “Shut your mouth,” Mingxia says. “It’s a small price to pay for your freedom. Go on,” she orders the rickshaw driver, a thin man who is only wearing pants and flimsy shoes.

  Mingxia holds up an umbrella to protect her and Lihua from the sun, but I’m too far away to get any benefit from it. I’m wondering where the servant is going to sit when the driver begins to pull and the servant trots along beside us.

  We move slowly down the alley, as it’s not very wide and is thronged with people, many of whom stop and stare at us as we pass. When we finally reach the end of the alley, we turn onto a wider street and the rickshaw puller starts to run. How such a small man has such strength, I have no idea. I’ve never ridden in a rickshaw before. Never had the money or the need. I rarely ventured much farther than our neighborhood. But as the wind begins to whip through my hair, I feel as though I am flying.

  5

  The rickshaw zooms along streets broad and crowded. More than once I see a man or woman jump back to avoid getting their feet crushed under the large wheels, followed by the shaking of an angry fist and the yell of a curse. It’s a bit funny, actually. How can they not see such a large contraption coming right at them? Though, I suppose they don’t expect for us to come upon them so quickly.

  After only a couple of blocks, we’ve traveled farther from my home than I’ve ever been, and I see a part of Peking I’ve never seen before. We are riding up the eastern wall of the Forbidden City, but it is so far away, I can barely see the golden tops of the wall.

  The sights and sounds are not so different from my own hutong at first. Crowds of people bustle about, many carrying wares for sale—clothes, cooking pots, rat traps. Everything is dry and dusty. Children—some clothed, some not—chase each other perilously close to the road. Women sit in the doorways of their homes, washing clothes and gossiping with neighbors.

  Slowly, though, I notice that the crowds start to thin out, the people dress a little nicer, and walls begin to line the road. Other than a few servants rushing about—many still dressed more finely than me—the streets are surprisingly empty by the time our rickshaw comes to a stop.

  All along both sides of the road are tall gray walls about three times my height, with doors of varying colors—red, green, and black—every so often. The door we have stopped in front of is green.

  Mingxia reaches across her daughter and grabs my arm. “Remember,” she says, staring at me intently, “tell no one why you are really here. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, of course,” I say, trying not to wince as her nails dig into my skin.

  “Promise me,” she says, giving me a small shake.

  “I promise!” I say. She hesitates, as if she isn’t sure she can trust me. Or perhaps she is doubting the whole idea. I know I am. Either way, she finally nods and her man helps each of us out of the rickshaw to the ground.

  We step through the door and down a short hall. There is an opening to the left to a small courtyard along with several small rooms. We come to a wall carved with dragons and have to turn left to enter through another door, this one red. Through the door, we find ourselves in a large courtyard and I gasp.

  There is a small waterfall spilling into a pond stocked with red and yellow fish. Winding paths are lined with green grass and small flowering bushes. There are even a few small trees for shade, and plenty of stone benches to sit and enjoy the peaceful scene. I’ve never seen such a green space in all my life.

  “Where are we?” I ask, thinking this must be a palace, and I’m suddenly afraid. Who could they have taken me to see?

  Mingxia looks at me for a moment before responding, “Our home.”

  “You live here?” I ask. “Just the two of you?”

  Lihua shrugs. “The servants have rooms somewhere.”

  I then notice a woman sweeping a walkway. A man is tending the garden. Another woman is pounding corn into meal.

  “How many servants do you have?” I ask.

  “Who can keep count?” Mingxia says. “C
ome along.”

  I have to shake my head in disbelief. I didn’t know that there were people in Peking who lived like this. I knew that we were very poor compared to most people. But the richest people I knew still lived in small houses with only a servant or two at most. I had heard that there were men rich enough to have several wives and dozens of children, but I had never considered what their lives must look like compared to mine. I had assumed that most of Peking looked very similar to my own neighborhood. There were the poor who lived in hutongs and the imperial family in the Forbidden City. I had never bothered to imaging life in between. Why should I? Even if I had married, my life would not have looked much different from the way I had grown up.

  We go to the west of the courtyard, where the woman was pounding meal. “Ah Lam!” Mingxia yells, and a woman who looks to be about the same age as Mingxia, though more plainly dressed, appears.

  “My lady?” the woman says.

  “This is Daiyu,” Mingxia says. “She’s going to be staying with us for a little while. She is to be a companion for my daughter. Isn’t that right, Daiyu?” She gives me a pointed look.

  “Yes,” I say, trying to force a smile. “A companion.” So, Mingxia intends to keep the plan even from her own servants. Considering how similarly Lihua and I look, I’m not sure this will be possible, but I don’t dare say or do anything that might upset Mingxia.

  “Clean her up,” Mingxia commands. “Find her some proper clothes and prepare a room for her in the north wing.”

  “Yes, my lady,” the woman says with a bend of her knees and a nod of her head.

  “This is Ah Lam, the housekeeper. She will take care of you. I will see you at dinner,” Mingxia says to me as she wanders off. Lihua gives me one more long look down at me before tossing her head and following her mother.

  “So, you are to be a companion for the spoiled brat,” Ah Lam says, shocking me. “Lucky you.” She turns and goes back inside and I follow her into a long kitchen.