In Spirit and Truth (In Spiritu Et Veritate Series)

by Reed, Zoe

  Stopping to stand next to her at the edge of the water I teased, “I told you the water was cold. Are you chickening out?” I was slightly hoping she would chicken out. The wet sand was already making my toes cold, and while my canine warmth would keep me from freezing, I’d still feel it.

  “No,” she told me, inching closer to the water. Then spoke encouragingly to herself. “Just jump in. Just dive right in. It’s better that way.”

  Seconds later she fearlessly ran into the water and dipped her head under when it got deep enough. She broke the surface gasping for air and shivering. “Come on in! It’s like a hot tub in here!”

  “Looks like it,” I hollered back sarcastically, chuckling to myself, and then jumped into the water to meet her.

  I shivered a bit as the cold water engulfed me from head to toe, but my body adjusted quicker than I thought it would. On the other hand, Kyla’s teeth chattered as she vigorously kicked her feet in an attempt to get her blood flowing.

  “The water’s not always like this is it?” she asked shakily.

  “Yeah, it’s always cold,” I laughed. “Are you ready to get out now? Your lips are turning blue.”

  She jumped backward into a wave and dove under water one last time. “Okay, now I’m ready.”

  Following a trembling Kyla back up the beach, I wiped the water off my body with my hands. As we reached the cooler we pulled our clothes back on, and sat down facing the water just as the sun began to reach the horizon. Instead of watching the sky, I gazed fondly at Kyla as she stared at the sunset, the brilliant purples and oranges dancing off the waves, reflecting in her eyes like diamonds. When she noticed she was being watched she peeled her eyes off the water, and the break in concentration allowed the shivers to return, causing her to rub her arms furiously. I smiled invitingly and patted the sand between my legs, and she delightedly took me up on the offer and sat there, leaning back into my chest.

  “Is being super warm all the time a wolf thing too?” she asked, reaching into the cooler and pulling out a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

  I laughed and took a bite when she lifted the sandwich behind her head, practically shoving it into my mouth. “Yeah it is. Is it a perk?”

  Kyla nodded and took a big bite, answering through a full mouth. “Mhm, definitely a perk.”

  Once she finished the sandwich she grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her waist, leaning her head back on my shoulder. The way she held my hands in place around her with her own made me want to squeeze even tighter. All I could smell with her so close and leaning back into me was the salty water and her scent. The very scent that had attracted me from the beginning, and the very scent that even now put me into a calm and drunken trance. The sun had disappeared and the light was almost gone before either of us spoke again.

  “Camille, can I ask you something?” Kyla asked without turning around, and her hands began tracing lines on the back of mine.

  “Of course,” I answered, taking a deep, relaxed breath as I thought about how perfect this was going.

  “You know when your dad kind of freaked out because of what happened at the school?” Kyla asked, to which I mhm-ed. “He said, ‘you know better than any of us that someone could have been hurt.’ Like you have a reason to know that.”

  My heart stopped. No, this is going so well. I knew full well that I had a reason to know it. I had just been hoping I wouldn’t need to tell Kyla for a long time, if ever.

  When I didn’t say anything, Kyla prodded. “Well, do you?”

  Taking a deep breath, I practically sighed the word ‘yes’. In the fading light Kyla turned to face me, obvious worry on her face. “What happened?”

  I thanked the darkening night for hiding the shame I felt creasing my expression. Then I sighed, trying to work up the nerve to tell her the truth. “I’ve told you about the instincts that come with being a werewolf, and when you first start Changing they’re really strong and hard to control. It takes a long time to adjust.” I waited for her to nod before continuing. “When it was all new to me, we used to sneak onto farms and scare the cattle. It was all fun and games, but for a new werewolf it’s exciting. It’s dangerous.”

  “You killed a cow?” she asked, almost nonchalantly.

  “No. Farmers are really protective of their cattle, and you’ve seen how defensive I can get, you know, with Jonathan and everything.” I paused, swallowing past the nauseous lump in my throat. “The farmer came out with a gun and fired a shot into the field. I tried to stop, but it set me off. I couldn’t control myself.”

  I could feel the tension as Kyla froze. Her hand stopped tracing lines and her body grew stiff against mine. For the next minute she digested the information in silence, then, “You killed him?”

  The way she said it made my heart drop to my stomach. She sounded confused, disappointed, like the Camille she knew would never do something like that. “All it took was one bite. The others got to me before I could do more damage, but that was all it took.”

  “It was you,” she said to herself, falling quiet for a few moments. “But it was self-defense,” she said in a half-question as she turned to look at me, making an attempt at justifying it for me.

  “No,” I whispered. I could barely stand the thought of losing Kyla, after finally getting her, because of this, but I had to be honest. She had to know the risks. “Any, more self-controlled werewolf would have just left the scene, without any confrontation. Luna was there that night, and she could just walk away. We shouldn’t have been there in the first place.” I sat there, watching her stare at me in shock. “Kyla.”

  I reached for her hand but she pulled it away. Not out of anger, but she was clearly disconcerted, and maybe even a little afraid. “Just give me a second.”

  It still felt like a heart-wrenching punch in the gut, leaving a hole in my stomach the size of a wrecking ball. Ever since I met Kyla I’d been working so hard to make sure she knew I could be trusted. That once she found out I was a werewolf she’d never need to be afraid. The look she had on her face now was the same one she’d had when Jonathan got away from me and I’d hit the locker. Did I ever want to lose her? No. It would crush me, but I couldn’t deny it might be better for her if she was afraid. If she did want out of this.

  “Oh God.” I sat there for a few moments, and then stood up, then sat back down on a nearby boulder when my legs nearly gave out.

  “Oh God what?” Kyla asked worriedly, quickly getting up and standing in front of me.

  “This is the part that I’ve been scared of from day one.” Even though I knew it might be best, just thinking she might not want to be with me was devastating. “The part where you call me a monster and tell me you never want to see me again.” As I said the words the hole in my stomach filled with ice, freezing me to the rock. I couldn’t say anything else, couldn’t move, and definitely couldn’t breathe.

  “Camille, what are you talking about?” Kyla pulled me by the hand off the boulder and wrapped her arms as tight as she could around my waist. “Look, you messed up pretty bad. I know it, but I also know that you’ve saved my life more than once, and you’ve made me happy so many more times than that. Call me selfish, but I wouldn’t sacrifice that happiness for anything.”

  “You’re not afraid?” I asked, pulling slightly back from her embrace to look her in the eyes, to see the answer on her face regardless of what came out of her mouth. She shook her head. “What if you should be?”

  “I’m not.” Her voice was unwavering. Fearless. “You’d never hurt me.”

  She was right. I would never hurt her. Not even if I lost every ounce of control in my body. “How do you know that?”

  “Aside from the fact that you promised?” She smiled a smug grin. “You’re kind of really crazy about me.”

  The smile returned to my face and I laughed at her confidence. It was true. I’d even go so far as to admit to myself that I was in love with Kyla. “I’m crazy about you huh?”

  I rested my ha
nds on her hips and then slid them up to her ribs, tickling her furiously. Letting out a shocked scream she tried to wriggle free, but tripped over her own feet and fell to the sand. She reached out for me to help her up, but instead pulled me right down beside her, shifting on top of me and tickling back.

  My ribs were attacked relentlessly until I was gasping for air. “Okay!” I screamed between laughing and gasping. “I can’t take anymore.”

  Kyla stopped tickling as I sat up enough to rest on my elbows, a triumphant grin on her face. “Have I found your weakness?”

  “You got me,” I laughed. “You found my kryptonite.” Raising her arms above her head like a champion, Kyla cheered happily. “Kyla?”

  “Yeah?” She stopped cheering and lowered her arms at the now sincere tone of my voice.

  I reached a hand up and brushed her hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

  “For what?” she smiled and turned her head shyly away from my hand.

  “You know,” I shrugged. “For trusting me. Accepting me.”

  “Couldn’t help it if I wanted to,” she shrugged back.

  “Oh? And why’s that?” I laughed.

  “Well, call me a sucker,” she started, a teasing smirk on her face. “But I just can’t resist a hot blonde.”

  “I better be the only hot blonde,” I laughed and slid my hands up to Kyla’s ribs, threatening to tickle her again if the answer wasn’t satisfactory.

  She giggled, wiggling away from my fingers as if it already tickled, and crossed her finger over her heart. “Promise.”

  Grinning, I pushed myself all the way up until my lips met hers in an eager, passionate kiss. I let my tongue get as far as caressing her bottom lip, and as I finished the kiss with a nibble I nearly had to sit on my hands, forcing myself to keep them from wandering too soon where I’d never been. I sighed contentedly and lay back in the sand, with Kyla closely following my lead, stretching her body next to me and laying her head on my chest. We lay there for a few minutes before she yawned.

  “What time do you have to be home?” I asked, gently running my fingers up and down the arm she had laid across my stomach.

  “I don’t.” Kyla looked up at me and smiled proudly. “I told my parents I’m spending the night at your house.”

  “Even better,” I laughed happily, giving the brunette a tight squeeze. “It’s starting to get pretty cold, are you ready to go back to my house?”

  Kyla nodded that she was, but reluctantly lifted herself off me, laughing at her own unwillingness. “You’re just so warm.”

  When we finally stood up, I glanced around thoughtfully before handing the cooler to Kyla and scooping her up. “There, now you can still be warm,” I smiled.

  It wasn’t too long of a walk back to the car, but I carried Kyla the entire way, all the while holding her tight and close, something I’d wanted to do since the day we’d met. Lack of streetlights made it impossible for Kyla to really see more of me than an outline. A werewolf’s night vision, however, made it possible for me to meet the girl’s searching eyes even if she didn’t know it. When we made it back to the car I reluctantly set Kyla down and opened the door for her, waiting patiently for her to get in before I made my way to the driver’s side of the car.

  The car had to be started as hastily as possible to turn the heat on for my now shivering passenger, but before taking another step to get us home I found myself staring at her. The girl was too busy trying to buckle her seatbelt with shaking hands to notice she was being watched, and the troublesome effort received an affectionate smile from me. The girlfriendly thing to do would have been to help Kyla out, but I was enjoying too much the lighthearted warmth that began to spread throughout my chest.

  It was a different kind of warmth from the eager, passionate blaze that threatened to consume me the first time we kissed. This soft, nourishing glow I knew had saved me. From Jonathan. From myself. That glow was the spark of devotion. Devotion that could only grow into and exceed the all-encompassing flame my passion already was. There had always been too much riding against us for me to become fully attached to Kyla. But those feelings of devotion, that feeling that I had never felt in my life, was what made me finally and fully grasp the concept of that sweet, beautiful brunette. It would always be Kyla.

  “Thanks for the–” Kyla had finally finished putting on her seatbelt and was going to make a sarcastic comment about me not offering to help, but when she realized how deeply and tenderly I was staring at her, she stopped. “What?”

  I’m in love with you. I could admit it to myself, but on a first date I felt it would be too much to admit to her. So instead I just shook my head. “Nothing.”

  I could tell by the curious look on her face that she knew I was thinking something. Hell, she could probably see the admission in my eyes, because she just smiled knowingly. When she finally leaned over and kissed me, I could feel her smile continue to grow. I could have stayed there with my lips against hers for the entire night, but a tremble pulled the freezing girl away from me. She wrapped her arms around one of mine to be as close as possible to my heat, and with a chuckle I put the car in drive.

  When we got home a few hours later Kyla still leaned against me and was nearly asleep. As gently as I could, I removed her grip on me and got out. As I walked around the side of the car and opened her door I heard the silent padding of feet coming closer. A turn of my head put a familiar reddish brown wolf to the sound. As Kyla got out of the car it was clear she didn’t see the wolf until it was close enough for her to feel its breath, because she nearly jumped out of her skin as she grabbed my arm with one hand and put the other over her mouth to stifle a shriek. Releasing her death grip from my arm she took a deep breath and laughed at herself.

  “Kyla, I don’t think you’ve officially met Carter yet, my oldest brother,” I told her, squeezing her hand to try and calm her nerves.

  Stretching its front legs out and lowering its head to the ground, the wolf bowed politely. Kyla let out a giggle and playfully curtsied back. “Nice to meet you, Carter.”

  The wolf let out a huff of agreement and goodbye, and then took off in the opposite direction toward the field next to the house. “They’re starting the second patrol,” I answered the desperate squint as Kyla tried to spot the other wolves she knew were in the field.

  After a nod of comprehension from Kyla, I linked hands with her and led her into the house. A couple of my family members were still awake – my dad smiled at us from the kitchen and Luna was making her way down the stairs as we headed up. Once we reached my bedroom and I closed the door behind us, we each changed into pajamas. With a yawn I stretched and then climbed under the covers, Kyla sliding in next to me and turning on her side so that we were facing each other.

  “Kyla,” I started, tracing the outline of her torso and hips with my fingertips. “I was just wondering, because you’re so okay with the whole werewolf thing, would you ever consider becoming one? I’m not asking you to. I was just wondering what you thought about it, I guess.”

  “Well, I have thought about it. Maybe in the future, like, after high school I wouldn’t mind. But right now I just want you. If I can have you while being human, then that’s what I prefer.” She was quiet for a minute, and I assumed she was weighing the pros and cons of my question. “And besides, if I was a werewolf I’d be just as warm as you. So I wouldn’t have an excuse to cuddle with you.”

  I laughed and yawned again. “You know you don’t need an excuse.”

  I could feel her nod, and the girl laid silent long enough that I thought she’d fallen asleep, but when I had closed my eyes she spoke again. “Even if I can’t be a werewolf, I need to be able to protect myself, right?” The slow and careful tone of Kyla’s voice made me curious, and even slightly apprehensive about where the conversation was going. I muttered a slow ‘yeah’ and waited for her to continue. “I never had any training or anything, so what would you think about teaching me how to fight?”

  I had had
some training when I was growing up, but I wondered what it was that made Kyla assume so, since we’d never talked about it. Her being able to defend herself was something that I had never thought of. The only option for me was being there to protect her. Not to mention that the idea of Kyla trying to fight a werewolf was enough to scare me pale.

  “I don’t know,” I said thoughtfully. “I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to be involved in the fighting. If something happened to you, I wouldn’t be able to live with it.”

  Kyla was silent for another moment as she formed her rebuttal. “That’s exactly why you should teach me. What if one time you aren’t there and something happens? I don’t want to be in the fighting either, but I need to know how to defend myself.”

  I sighed, knowing she was right. Even with training Kyla wouldn’t have a fighting chance against a werewolf, but there were threats other than supernatural in the world. “I won’t train you,” I started, and I could hear her open her mouth to protest. “But, that’s because I think Carter would be a much better teacher.”

  “Thanks.” A pair of lips found my cheek in the dark, and shortly after Kyla folded her arms to her chest and inched closer to me, burying her head in the crook of my neck.

  “Goodnight,” I said, smiling to myself as I wrapped an arm around her, falling easily asleep.

  The following morning I woke to the feeling of a pair of unwavering eyes on me. When I opened my own eyes, Kyla was lying next to me, staring.

  “What are you looking at?” I laughed.

  “You.” She tapped my nose gently with her finger and scrunched her face in overwhelming adoration. “You’re so cute when you sleep, but you drool a little.”

  “I do not!” I glared playfully, covering my face with the blankets in embarrassment.