Need

by Joelle Charbonneau

  I don’t know. I look behind us to make sure no one is following. No one is there. For now. The digital clock on the dashboard reads 12:10 a.m. So much has happened in so little time. That more than anything terrifies me. How fast things can change. One minute the school is fine. The next minute it’s burning to the ground. Had Bryan not shown up when he did and helped me get Hannah out, we could have died.

  “How did you know?” I ask.

  “What?”

  I turn toward him. “How did you know about the bomb at the school? When you called me, you told me to get away from the school because of a bomb. How did you know? Did someone tell you?”

  “I saw a picture.” He shifts in his seat to face me. “Someone posted a photo of the timer sitting on Dr. Jain’s desk.”

  Wait a minute. “The bomb went off in Dr. Jain’s office?”

  “Yeah. Why?”

  “I don’t know. That has to be significant.” I have to think it through, but waiting for us to be discovered is making that impossible. “Can you just drive?”

  “Where to?”

  “Anywhere that isn’t here.”

  As Bryan pulls the car back onto the road, I close my eyes and focus. Dr. Jain’s office is in a far corner of the building. Near the administration offices and the rest of the counselors, but away from most things students deal with every day. The students who are all on NEED. If someone wanted to damage the school in order to shut it down for a long time, hitting another area—like the cafeteria in the center of the building or the science rooms where chemicals are stored—would make the most sense. At least, that’s what I would do.

  “Did NEED tell you how to kidnap Nate and what to do with him once you got him?” When Bryan squirms I say, “Look, I’m not trying to upset you. I’m trying to figure out if NEED let the person who set fire to the school decide where to set the bomb or if they gave explicit instructions.”

  “I don’t know about the bomb, but for Nate’s kidnapping they gave me pretty detailed instructions.” Bryan looks up and stares out the window as he speaks. “The whole plan was spelled out. Working with Jack. The drug to knock Nate unconscious. Even what I should use to tie him up in the back room of the old post office. I found the drug, a pair of handcuffs, and a bunch of tension ties in a box in our neighbor’s mailbox. Just like they said I would.”

  Specific instructions for a specific purpose. If the same applies to the school, NEED wanted the fire set in Dr. Jain’s office. No matter how quickly the fire department responded to the alarms, if the timer went off and the fire was set the way it was supposed to be, the damage in that room would be the worst. Someone wanted everything of Dr. Jain’s destroyed. Who?

  Who knows us well enough to predict how we would act when we were invited into NEED?

  Who knew that Nate could be a donor?

  Who has access to students’ medical files and knows almost everything happening with our family and friends because it’s her job to know?

  There’s only one answer: Dr. Jain.

  She’s new this year, but not new to the area. She lived here or somewhere near here years before. Did she say that to my mother or to me? I don’t recall. But I know she said it. Where did she come from? Somewhere on the East Coast. I think she said she moved from here to Maryland before returning. She also said that people can make choices that take them somewhere they didn’t intend to go, and continue to make it worse by not admitting their mistakes. I thought she was referring to me. How no one trusts me because of the things I did. But what if she wasn’t talking about me at all? What if she was referring to NEED?

  As much as I’ve disliked being forced to talk to Dr. Jain, I believed her interest in me was sincere. She said she was invested in me. In my family. That she understood what it’s like to be abandoned by someone you love. Lies? Truth? I don’t know. But my gut tells me the fire was set in her office to eliminate evidence. And she’s the one who’s counseling my mother. Telling her that I need new treatments. That I’m a danger to my brother.

  “I think Dr. Jain is behind NEED.”

  Bryan hits the brakes and the car skids wildly to the left before stopping. I fling my arms straight in front of me to keep from flying into the dashboard. “What? That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “I think it does.” It’s the only explanation that makes sense. “Faculty are always told when a student has medical issues. Every teacher and administrator at DJ’s school has all sorts of information on what to do if he falls ill. We didn’t know about Amanda’s allergy, but it wouldn’t be a secret to Dr. Jain. And the school shrink has a good shot at knowing who has grudges against whom and which students are more susceptible to rewards than others. All the things NEED knows.”

  Bryan stares out the window then quietly says, “She knew about me.”

  “What did she know?”

  “Dr. Jain knew . . .” Bryan takes a deep breath. “She knew I was upset about something that had happened with Amanda. She stopped me in the hall just before break started and offered to give me a pass to come talk to her. She said some of my teachers were concerned and thought I might be depressed. I told her I was okay, but she said she was around if I needed to talk. Or if I didn’t want to talk with her that I might feel better if I discussed whatever was bothering me with the person who caused the problem. She said people often regret not discussing their problems until it’s too late.” He turns and looks at me. It’s dark, but the shadows don’t hide the tears in his eyes. “I didn’t talk to Amanda. I was too angry. So when NEED told me to deliver a box to her doorstep, I was pretty sure there was something wrong with it, but I didn’t care.”

  I gasp. “Oh God. You delivered the cookies.” Bryan killed Amanda. No. NEED did. Bryan didn’t know Amanda was allergic. He didn’t want her to die. “But Amanda’s death isn’t your fault.”

  “Yes, it is,” Bryan says softly. “You know it is.”

  Maybe it is. Maybe not. I don’t know. All I know is that the empty look on Bryan’s face scares the hell out of me.

  “It doesn’t matter what I think.”

  “I guess not.” But his tone tells me it does. In a flat voice he says, “When Amanda died, I didn’t want to tell anyone what I had done. I should have told my parents or the police or left it alone. Instead, I asked NEED for something else. I knew it was wrong, but I talked myself into thinking it wasn’t. And I can’t take it back. I can’t make it right.”

  “You weren’t the one who planned to kill her.” This much I’m certain of. “You didn’t set her up to die or call the bakery and have a receipt created with my name on it to make it look like I planned to murder her.”

  “What?” The emptiness is replaced by confusion.

  “You made a bad choice. Lots of our friends made bad choices. Decisions they would never have thought of making on their own had someone not suggested these sick ideas and dangled a big, honking carrot in front of their faces.” Stupid. We are all stupid for not talking to each other. For believing anything our friends did was okay for us to do too. But NEED is worse because it used that. It used us. For what? Why?

  “So now what?” Bryan asks. “Do we call the cops and tell them we think Dr. Jain is behind NEED?”

  “The police think I’m the one who ordered those cookies for Amanda. They’ll arrest me first and ask questions later.” If I’m lucky. And boy do I not feel lucky.

  “Which means we’re never going to find Nate.”

  “Yes, we are,” I say as I reach into my jeans pocket and come up with two crumpled business cards. I put one card back and hold the other, from Dr. Jain, in my hand. The one with her personal cell phone number that she encouraged me to call anytime—day or night.

  Is Dr. Jain sleeping? If she’s behind all this, can she sleep, knowing the harm she’s caused? Or does she sleep soundly, knowing her plans have gone so well? I guess I’m going to find out. I dial the number and wait while it rings.

  “Hello. This is Dr. Amelia Jain.”

&nbs
p; No confusion. No worry at being contacted in the middle of the night by a phone number she doesn’t know. Just the same calm, controlled voice that has always irritated me.

  “It’s Kaylee Dunham. I’m sorry to call so late.” I’m not, but it’s the polite thing to say, and I don’t want to arouse her suspicions before I get to the point.

  “Kaylee. Thank goodness. Are you okay? The police contacted me a while ago after they went to your house and you weren’t home. Where are you?”

  Crap. It didn’t occur to me that the cops would contact her. “I’m okay. But I’ll be better if you can answer a question for me.”

  “Anything. I’ve been so concerned.”

  Yeah, right. I take a deep breath because after this moment there is no going back. “Where’s Nate? What have you done with him?”

  I wait for her to act confused or shocked or something. Instead there is silence. I look at the phone to make sure the call is still connected. Yes.

  “Dr. Jain, are you there?”

  “I’m here, Kaylee,” she says softly. “And if you ever want to see Nate again, you’ll have to come here too.”

  NETWORK MEMBERS—682

  NEEDS PENDING—673

  NEEDS FULFILLED—225

  Sydney

  SYDNEY SLIDES BACK into his car, tosses his backpack and a briefcase he snagged from inside onto the passenger seat, and revs the engine. His luck is holding. When the house goes up in flames, eliminating any evidence of his involvement, his lucky streak will continue. So far, so good. The question is, how much does he want to push it?

  He turns to look in the back of the cab at Nate, who is drooling on the seat. The second dose of tranquilizers hasn’t worn off yet. Sydney didn’t want to put Nate under again, but he didn’t really have a choice. When involved in breaking and entering, it’s a bad idea to have someone screaming his head off outside. It’s probably more humane that Nate’s unconscious, and chances are he’ll wake up soon anyway. Although Sydney’s dad would have a fit if he could see the mess on the leather seat: the pool of drool in the center, the puke from when Nate woke up the first time, and the footprints where Nate was kicking before Sydney felt forced to give him the next round of drugs. Well, chances are good Dad isn’t going to have to see any of that. It all depends on which step Sydney takes next. Both paths have challenges. Both have rewards.

  Despite the late hour, he can still deliver Nate to the designated location. So far, the bad-weather excuse seems to be holding pretty well. But not for long. The plows are out clearing the streets.

  He looks at the last message he received, then at the bags on the passenger seat. Files. Contact information. Next steps. This trip has been worthwhile. He needs to spend a few minutes going over the new files. When he combines that information with what he already knows, it will be enough to make the choice about which path to take. Knowledge is power. He now has knowledge. The question is, will he have the courage to use it?

  Kaylee

  HERE.

  “Where is ‘here’? Your house?” I ask. I don’t know where Dr. Jain lives, but in a town this size it can’t be very far.

  “No,” she says. “I learned the hard way that it’s best not to bring work home. Besides, there are many things about this project that require larger facilities. But I’m sure you’ll be able to find us if you’re sufficiently motivated. Are you motivated, Kaylee?”

  “Yes.” Fear swirls at the detachment in her voice. Like this is all just a case study. A test for some poor rats in a maze. As if real people—real lives—aren’t involved. “Tell me where I have to go.”

  She gives me the address and the town. Not Nottawa, but one that’s ten minutes away in good weather. Repeating the address back, I wave my arms at Bryan, hoping he understands that I need him to write it down or memorize it or something. Just in case I forget. And I wonder if this is a trap. Because nothing about NEED is done without purpose or comes without a price.

  “It’s too far to come on foot, but I trust you’ll be able to find transportation,” Dr. Jain says. “I promise to take good care of your mom and brother if they arrive before you.”

  My heart stutters. “They’re in Milwaukee.” They’re safe. Please. Let them still be safe.

  “They were in Milwaukee. Officer Shepens called me when the number you gave him to reach your mother didn’t work, and I volunteered to call her for him. She then called him to listen to his concerns, and is very disappointed to be returning home to deal with your issues. You do seem to have a lot of them, which means you’ll have plenty to discuss when you both get here. I’ll be curious to see what treatment plan your mother chooses for you. Until then, I have work to do.”

  “No. Wait.” But she doesn’t wait and the display changes to “Call ended.”

  She has to be wrong. My mother’s last text said they were going to bed. She would have called me if she were coming home now, especially if she thought I had screwed up again. She wouldn’t drag DJ back here simply on Dr. Jain’s say-so. Or would she? I stare at my phone, trying to think. If Dr. Jain is telling the truth about Mom talking to Officer Shepens, she now knows I’m under suspicion in Amanda’s murder. Given those circumstances, she’d have to come home, wouldn’t she? If she didn’t, what would people think?

  But Dr. Jain could be lying about everything, and my mother could be asleep at Aunt Susan’s right now, unaware that any of this is happening. If that’s the case, a call from me would alert her that something is very wrong. But if Dr. Jain is telling the truth, Mom and DJ might at this very moment be en route. A call from me could prevent whatever Dr. Jain has planned. Or just make it happen faster, because my mother won’t believe me. I don’t know what to do.

  “What’s going on?” Bryan asks.

  Instinctively I start to say nothing, but then I realize that Bryan is in this with me. He might see something I don’t, so I tell him what Dr. Jain said. “What do I do?”

  “Don’t call,” he insists. “Dr. Jain has to be lying. She’s probably hoping you’ll call your mom and set things in motion so that your mother comes back. I doubt Dr. Jain would make that call on her own. Your mom might tell your aunt and draw attention Dr. Jain doesn’t want. NEED is all about making other people do the dirty work while it stays anonymous. Dr. Jain is NEED, which means she’ll operate the same way.”

  “It sucks not to know for sure,” I say, putting down my phone.

  “Yeah. Yeah, it does. But think of it this way—even if Dr. Jain is telling the truth and your mother is coming back to Nottawa, she’s got a lot farther to travel than we do. No matter what happens, we’ll get there long before her.”

  What Bryan says makes sense. Dr. Jain is probably lying, but if not, we have time to stop her before my mother and DJ return. That has to be enough.

  “Okay then,” I say with a nod. “I guess we go find Dr. Jain and finish this.”

  “Works for me. Although, it’s weird that she gave you the address like that.” Bryan frowns as he punches the location into his GPS. “There are lots of ways she could get rid of you or make things worse in your life. Instead, she wants you to come find her. Why?”

  “I don’t know.” There must be a reason, but damned if I know what it is. That gives her a big advantage. But I have one too. “She doesn’t know you’re with me. With two of us, there’s a chance we can surprise her.”

  “How?”

  “Just drive. We’ll figure it out on the way.” We have to.

  Bryan drives while I consider what I know about Dr. Jain. Her husband left her. She used to live around here. Why is she back? Nate said it takes hundreds, maybe thousands of hours to create a site that works the way NEED does. This project must have been started before Dr. Jain came to work at Nottawa High School.

  “Why did Dr. Jain start NEED?” I ask Bryan. “And why here?” There has to be a reason beyond causing students to kill their friends.

  “I don’t know.” Bryan glances at me. “It seems strange that she’d pick Not
tawa of all places.”

  Yes, it does. But I don’t know how to find the answer. If Nate were here . . .

  I bite my lip, take a deep breath, and push away thoughts of Nate and what could be happening to him.

  “We need more information,” I say.

  “Yeah, but how do we get it? If you haven’t noticed, we’re on our own and don’t exactly have a lot of time.”

  He’s right. But so am I. Right now, Dr. Jain holds all the cards. She has the anonymity of the Internet on her side, not to mention all the chaos she’s caused. There might be a few students who want to stand up and tell their parents or the police about NEED, but if they’ve performed a fulfillment requirement the worry that they’ll be held responsible for whatever terrible thing they did will keep them silent. And even if someone does report it, they won’t know everything. The website could vanish again at any moment and then what? Dr. Jain has to be shut down. She cannot be allowed to lie in wait for the right time to relaunch NEED again. We have to find some way to stop her.

  “I have my computer with me,” I say. “If we find somewhere for me to get online, I can do a search on her.”

  “Why not use your phone?”

  “Reception out here sucks. The laptop would be easier.” Besides, I haven’t a clue what I’m looking for. I need a bigger screen and a lot of luck if I’m going to come up with something useful fast.

  “It’s the middle of the night.” Bryan is exasperated and tense. “We can’t go to my house without my parents flipping out. You can’t go back to your house without risking arrest, and nothing is open at this time of night.”

  “No.” But Bryan has given me an idea. “You know, locking the doors and flipping off the lights doesn’t turn off the Internet signal. A lot of places just leave the signal up and running at night. If we can find a business with public Wi-Fi, we can park next to the building and I can log on.”

  While Bryan steers the car down the snowy streets, I try doing a few searches on my phone. All it yields is a link to the school’s website, with her credentials as a psychiatrist—an undergraduate degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin at Madison. A graduate degree in public policy and a Ph.D. in behavioral science from Johns Hopkins. Well, there’s no denying the woman is smart. The psychology degree I sort of understand, and behavioral science seems self-explanatory. But what does public policy have to do with either one of them? I’ll have to wait until I get a better signal to find out because the Johns Hopkins website won’t load on my phone.