New Identity

by Tenaya MKD

  He nodded. “Fair enough.” I reminded myself not to appreciate the bit of pride I saw behind his smile.

  “If I’m not a prisoner, what's with the interrogation room and the metal doors? This doesn't feel very welcoming.”

  “It's just a precaution,” he said. “We didn't know the extent of your abilities.”

  “What ‘abilities’ are you talking about? I don't have any abilities.”

  Is he referring to my curse? Like it’s a superpower?

  “As far as we can tell, you can transfer your consciousness into other bodies? Is that right?”

  “I wouldn't call it an ability!” I blurted. “I have been terrified for days, trying to figure out how to make it stop!”

  After I said it, I realized I might be showing too much of my hand.

  What if being able to use my “ability” would be my only ticket out of here alive?

  But I knew that I was close to the answers I needed, and I was too desperate for them to try to be tactful.

  “It's definitely an ability,” he said. “One we can help you learn to control.”

  My eyes widened. Control was something I wanted more than anything.

  “I told you we would see each other again. And that you could trust me.” His voice was soft. “I just want to help you, Sarah.”

  “My name isn't Sarah. That's just who I was that day.”

  “Sorry, I assumed. What is your name?”

  I was reluctant to admit I didn't know. “Why should I believe I can trust you, when you have lied to me about who you are since the second we met? Why should I believe a word you say?”

  He took a breath before he answered me. Like he wanted to be sure that what he said next came out just right. “You're right.”

  I almost laughed. “Well, you make a very compelling case for yourself.” My sarcasm was heavy.

  “I know that lying to you was the wrong way to go about meeting you. I know that you will have a hard time trusting me now. I can't blame you for that. But I need you to give me a chance to redeem myself. For your sake, just as much as mine. You were nearly kidnapped today! And if you have no control over your power, then that's dangerous too. You need me, and the people I work with.”

  That actually is a pretty compelling case...

  I'd held my own against the assholes who grabbed me today. But ultimately, if it hadn't been for Cayde, they'd have taken me. And I did need help with the “power” I had. Desperately.

  “Why did you lie to me when we met?” I asked.

  “I needed to make sure you would be safe to work with. Your readings are different than we've ever seen before. We didn't know what your power was, or if you were already affiliated with Shadow, somehow. I needed to scope you out. I intended to see you again and explain everything, but I lost track of you and had trouble catching back up. Now I understand why.”

  Readings? Shadow?

  I didn't understand half of what he'd just said. “I'm not at all saying that I trust you... but you have my attention. I have a lot of questions to ask.”

  “Thank you. I would expect no different. And I will answer them all for you, in time.”

  I didn't like the qualifier “in time” but I accepted it. For the moment. “Whose body is this?” was my first question.

  “It's yours now. It's a clone that was grown here. With GWNN, we were able to encourage you to move your consciousness into it.”

  How the hell could they do that? And what do they do here that they need human clones?

  The possible answers to that question made me feel queasy. But that feeling was overshadowed by the fact that I finally had a body I wasn't taking from someone else. I wasn't stealing someone else's time in order to have my own. That fact was everything.

  “Thanks,” was all I said though.

  “What’s your name?” he asked again.

  For a moment, I considered trying to hide my memory loss. But he would ultimately need to know about it, in order to help me. “I don't know. My memory only goes back about a week. Is that because of my 'ability' too?”

  “I'm not sure. You seem to be pretty unique, but I’ve never heard of something like that happening. We will figure it out though. What would you like to go by?”

  I had been so concerned with getting my old life back, that I’d never even considered picking a new name. People would have to call me something though.

  “Umm, I don’t know?” It was like every name I’d ever heard fell out of my head the moment I needed to think of one. “You pick.”

  His eyebrows raised. “Are you sure? Don’t you want to decide that yourself?”

  “I really can’t think of anything.”

  It’s temporary anyway.

  But then the thought of being called Ashley made me cringe.

  “Just nothing too generic,” I added quickly.

  “Okay, then. Well…” He stared at me for a moment, looking further into my eyes than I was completely comfortable with. But I didn’t look away.

  “Nova.” He smiled that damn, warm smile of his.

  How do I keep my guard up when he smiles like that?

  “Nova? Interesting. Why?”

  “You seem…bright to me. Like you’re a little fiery.” His smirk was adorable. “But if you don’t like it, I can come up with something else.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. “No, no. I like it.”

  “Great. Nova it is.” His fall eyes gleamed. “I think we should call it a night. You have had a long day. Let me take you to more comfortable quarters, where you can relax. Tomorrow I will introduce you to everyone and answer all of your questions.”

  As reluctant as I was to go another night without my questions answered, sleep sounded really good. My brain felt kind of like it was submerged in murky water.

  “How do you know I will stay in this body? I normally end up in a new one if I go to sleep.”

  “GWNN is monitoring and regulating your brainwaves.” He laughed, probably because my confusion was all over my face. “Let me put it really simply. As long as you're within this facility, GWNN can lock onto the brainwave that is active when you use your ability and dampen it. She keeps it from turning on, essentially. Until you can learn how to do it on your own.”

  “But how, Cayde? Who is Gwen? That all sounded way too sci-fi to be real.” It sounded completely impossible! But then again, moving my consciousness into new bodies every day seemed completely impossible only a week ago. Suspending disbelief had pretty much become a requirement for living my life.

  “All of your questions will be answered tomorrow. I promise. Follow me.”

  We left the closet. I was surprised to find no one in the dark room on the other side of the two-way mirror. Outside that room was a hallway that stretched on for at least a mile. We were standing on one end of it, with only a ladder behind us, which lead to a triple-bolted hatch door in the ceiling behind us.

  So we are underground.

  Now that I’d calmed down, that thought didn’t bother me so much.

  It was hard to see all the way to the end, but the place seemed to be constructed in one long line.

  The walls and floors were the same cement as in the interrogation closet. Our footfalls echoed off of them, bouncing the sound all the way down the hall.

  Sneaking around here will be impossible.

  There were many metal doors on both sides of the hall. The doors on the right were each labeled by a number stenciled with white paint. On the left side, the doors had small windows, but were unmarked. They were also spread much farther apart.

  Speaking quietly—I assumed to avoid too much echo—Cayde said, “All living quarters are on this side.” He gestured to the numbered line of doors. “Other necessary rooms are on this side. You'll get the tour of those tomorrow.”

  As we walked by the “necessary rooms,” I craned my neck to try to see through the windows. I couldn't make much out though. Just that the walls inside were white cement, like all the others I’
d seen so far.

  “Oh, I almost forgot.” Cayde said. “Living quarters do not have toilets or showers. We have locker-rooms at each end of the hall. The women's is straight ahead, second to last door on the right.”

  I nodded.

  When we reached the door marked 5, he abruptly stopped. I had to freeze mid-step to avoid walking into his back.

  “This will be your room.” Using a plain, silver key, he unlocked the door and pushed it open. He stepped aside, allowing me to enter first.

  The walls were bare and cold. A twin bed, neatly made with a navy-blue blanket, white sheets, and a single pillow, sat in one corner of the room. There was a matching blue dresser made from particleboard, with a frameless mirror hanging above it. And in the other corner, there was a small closet with no door. That’s it. The definition of simple, which suited me just fine.

  I probably won’t be staying very long anyway.

  “If there is anything you need, you can always reach me on the comm system.” He pointed to a speaker that hung on the wall next to the door. “Just push the black button.”

  I nodded again.

  Now that a bed was in sight, exhaustion hit me hard. This body technically hadn't been through anything today, but my mind had been through the ringer.

  He handed me the key he’d used to open the door. “This is yours.” It was conveniently tied to a plain piece of white string.

  Even in my foggy state, it registered that this was the first possession I'd ever had. At least, that I could remember. I doubted that I was the sentimental type, but it felt good to hold something and know that it would still be mine tomorrow.

  While I was staring at the key, Cayde moved close enough to the door to grab the handle. He looked like there was something on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't decide if he should say it.

  “Goodnight, Nova. I hope you sleep well.”

  “Thanks. Goodnight.”

  His smile touched his eyes briefly. And then he left the room.

  A small smile crept onto my face. But I erased it quickly.

  I can’t trust him—or anyone else—blindly.

  But coming here had given me a body, somewhere to stay, and they were offering to help me get the control over my life that I desperately needed. The least I could do was be grateful. It wasn’t likely that the assholes who bound and gagged me in the back of a creeper van would have been so accommodating. Plus, if Cayde was telling the truth, they took care of Trish. That said a lot.

  Fatigue washed over me and settled into my bones. I placed my key on the dresser, my pale hand lingering on the cool metal a moment longer than necessary. Using the dimmer switch next to the comm system, I turned the lights down to their minimum. On my way to the bed, I stripped down to my underwear, scattering the scrubs on the floor. I might have been asleep before I even hit the pillow.

  8

  Being underground, the room wasn’t any brighter than it had been when I went to bed. But there were echoing sounds of footsteps coming from the hall. I lay on my side, admiring the little room that had been referred to as mine.

  I finally woke up where I went to sleep.

  I didn’t need a clock to know that it was too early, but I dragged myself out of bed anyway. The cold, cement floor quickly drove me to my shoes in front of the dresser, where my shiny new key caught my eye. It drew my hand to it. I spun it between my fingers, appreciating the way it caught the dim light when I held it at just the right angle.

  Water collected in my eyes. But before it could spill over as tears, I wiped it away, and with one deep breath put a stop to that shit.

  None of this is permanent. Pull yourself together.

  But even if it lasted no longer than today, this was the most permanence I’d ever known.

  As I hung the key around my neck and dropped it under my shirt, I stared at myself in the mirror. For the first time I could remember, the reflection I saw wasn’t being borrowed. I definitely wasn’t hurting anybody just to exist.

  This is me.

  For now, my subconscious clarified.

  But I shoved that thought away.

  My eyes were mesmerizing. Dark gray outlined my irises and contrasted starkly against the pale centers. I couldn’t decide if they were cool, or if they freaked me out. They were a result of the cloning process, I assumed, but that only made them stranger.

  Having never seen sunlight, my skin wasn’t just white, it was nearly colorless. Hair on the back of my head was sticking up where it had rubbed against the pillow during the night. I tried to press it down, but each time my hand passed over the hair, it bounced right back up. My thin, light-pink lips stretched into a smile.

  Of course. The hair I get to keep is unruly.

  A beeping sound came from the comm system’s speaker. “Good morning.” It was Cayde's voice.

  I held down the black button while I spoke, hoping that was how the thing worked. “Good morning, Cayde. I'm ready for you to answer my questions now. And for breakfast.” My stomach growled in protest of its emptiness. “Please tell me there are eggs in this bunker.”

  He laughed. “There are eggs. I'll be there in a few minutes.”

  While I waited, I put on the scrubs I had been wearing the night before, since I didn't have anything else.

  Even though I’d expected him, Cayde's knock made me jump. The metal door reverberated with the sound.

  “Take me to your eggs!” I said, as I opened the door. He laughed at me and then led me down the hall. The cafeteria was one of the “necessary rooms.” A designation I wholeheartedly agreed with. And it was just a few doors down from mine.

  If I do stay here, this is going to be handy.

  As soon as Cayde opened the door, the smells of coffee and buttered toast wafted toward me. My stomach gurgled with excitement.

  There were only around ten people in the whole cafeteria. They all seemed energetic, the type who gets up at the crack of dawn with a smile. Not my kind of people. They made the room buzz with morning vigor.

  People sat scattered in small groups, having animated conversations, and digging into trays of what looked like delicious breakfast foods. There were only a couple stragglers at the buffet-style counter in the back, still serving themselves from the chafing dishes.

  I suddenly felt pretty cute in my green scrubs. Everyone else was wearing a shapeless, navy-blue jumpsuit, the kind that would probably be unflattering to some degree on everyone. Except for Cayde. I hadn't even noticed before that he was wearing one. Somehow, it didn't look so bad on him.

  He could probably make a garbage bag look sexy.

  “So, you can grab a tray from this stack here, and then make your way down the line,” he said.

  The buffet was stocked with an impressive amount of food. They had most everything. Fruit salad with fresh cantaloupe and red grapes, oatmeal with raisins, crispy hash browns, and what looked mostly like bacon, but also clearly wasn't.

  “What is this?” I asked.

  “That's a faux bacon that Mrs. Fay makes for us. It's actually quite good.”

  It did smell good, but then again, I was starving.

  “Why not actual bacon?” I searched down the line. There was no meat included in the spread at all.

  “We try to only serve what we can cultivate here ourselves. We have chickens that provide the eggs, and we have a garden that provides the fruits and vegetables. We source very little from outside the facility.”

  “Interesting,” I said.

  So, either this place is really remote, or really secret…

  “I’m looking forward to being bombarded by your questions,” he said with a laugh. “Just hold off until you've eaten.”

  Apparently, I’m an open book.

  As eager as I was for answers, waiting wouldn't be a problem. The fragrant food in front of me was making my stomach flip desperately. I piled fake bacon, hash browns, scrambled eggs, toast, and some of the fruit onto my tray. Cayde looked at my mountain of food with wide eyes. T
hen he glanced at his much-more-sensibly portioned tray.

  “What?” I said. “I've technically never eaten before!”

  He laughed at me. “No judgment here! There’s plenty. We do usually ask that people only take one serving until everyone has had a chance to get their food, but we'll make an exception today.”

  “Where is everybody?”

  “This is most everyone, but Chief Markham and Sam tend to meet in the mornings, so they have their breakfast late.”

  The cafeteria could have sat probably thirty people at the five big, round dining tables. It was hard to believe that so few people lived in this big facility.

  We sat at the first table we came to. There were a few other people sitting there, but I did nothing to acknowledge them. I was far too hungry to worry about being polite.

  “Who’s the newbie, Cayde?” a boy sitting across from us asked. He couldn’t have been more than sixteen years old. He had short, black hair that curled tightly to his head, big, brown eyes, and dark skin. His kind smile was wide and bright.

  “This is Nova. Nova, this is Zane, Lily, and Eric.”

  I gave what small smile I could, without allowing my stuffed mouth to overflow.

  Lily was around Zane’s age, maybe slightly younger. Her hair was the same black as mine, but hers was much thicker, and it touched the tops of her shoulders. Her skin was like porcelain, its only imperfection I could see being a thin, textured scar that sliced through her left eyebrow.

  Eric, a tall, broad, jock-type, with blonde hair styled with product, was sitting to my left across the table. He radiated confidence. His dark-blue eyes smoldered at me.

  I didn’t get a chance to decide how I felt about it before he scooted himself so close to me that our arms nearly touched. “Hello, gorgeous. What's your thing?”

  “My thing?” I asked.

  “Your power. What do you do?”

  How does he know I have a power? Is that so common around here?

  I didn’t feel comfortable calling what happens to me a power. Curse was so much more fitting. I certainly didn't want to talk about it with a total stranger.