New Identity

by Tenaya MKD

  While we put mashed potatoes, a vegetable medley, and kidney beans on our trays, I tried to wrap my mouth around the words, “I’m sorry.” It was a lot harder than you’d think. The pressure to spit words out got heavier the further down the line we got. In just a minute, we’d be sitting with other people, and my window of opportunity would close.

  Say something, now.

  “I've decided I’ll be staying. At least for a while,” I said.

  “I'm glad Eric gave you a reason to stay.” His tone didn't sound glad though. He sounded like a jealous boy.

  “Eric said you're a good guy. That I can trust you.” I wasn't about to insist that Eric and I only talked, just to make him feel better. Whether something happened between Eric and I or not, it wasn't his business.

  After a moment of silence, he said, “I've only ever intended to help you.”

  “I believe you,” I assured him. And my time was up. That would have to be enough.

  He’d led us to the same table we'd been sitting at earlier. The leg I had broken was already repaired. You could see where I had bent it, if you looked closely, but otherwise it was good as new. It hadn’t occurred to me earlier, but the table legs were metal. Not a solid iron or anything, but definitely much stronger than I should have been able to bend.

  I was mad, but damn.

  The table we had fought at earlier seemed an odd choice of seat until I realized who else was sitting there. Chief Markham gave us a quick nod as we sat down. He was talking to a woman with large eyes and a sharp face.

  She exuded an air of importance. Whether or not she really was that important, didn't matter. She thought she was the shit. Her strikingly blonde, short hair was slicked back into a sleek style with enough gel that not a single strand moved while she gestured animatedly to emphasize whatever story she was telling.

  The pregnant couple Cayde had mentioned earlier also sat at the table. Mom-to-be didn't seem all that pregnant yet, but if you looked closely, you could see the slight bump filling out her jumpsuit. As she ate, her husband watched her with adoring eyes.

  They had similar features. Both had brunette hair and kind, round eyes. You could have reasonably assumed they were related, if it weren’t for the way he looked at her. He might as well have had “I love this woman” written in flowery script on his forehead. I couldn’t do love like that, but I actually caught the corners of my mouth turning up.

  Good for them.

  “Hi, Cayde!” said Mom-to-be.

  “Hey, Sam. How’s the baby?”

  Sam beamed, happy to answer what was obviously her favorite question. “Great! He’s let me keep down all my food today!”

  I couldn’t keep the grimace from my face.

  “Sam, Oliver, this is Nova. She just moved in.”

  I smiled.

  I suppose that’s the nice way of saying, “Her life was recently threatened, and now she’s here.”

  I didn't imagine anyone ever just moved into the facility. It's not like they were posting vacancies and taking applications.

  “Welcome!” Oliver said.

  Sam leaned over the table to look closely at my face. “It's so fascinating to see those eyes blinking. You haven't had any issues with the body, have you?”

  “No, no issues,” I replied, slightly taken aback. That was definitely the oddest question I’d ever answered.

  “Sam is our resident doctor and scientist. She is why we have the capability of cloning,” Cayde said.

  “Usually, I only do individual body parts or organs when necessary, so I was excited for the chance to do a complete body for you. I thought it came out really well.” It sounded more like she was talking about a pie she'd baked than my human body.

  “You were able to grow an entire body that quickly?” I hadn't imagined that they’d created it just for me. It was a relief to know they weren't farming people for creepy experiments.

  She laughed. “I can do all sorts of things people tend to call impossible!”

  “Sammy is brilliant,” Oliver said with immense pride. He brushed her thick hair behind her shoulder, and she lightly kissed his cheek.

  “She really is,” Cayde agreed. “She has kept us all alive for years now.”

  “It's my pleasure,” Sam said, batting away his praise with a dainty hand.

  “I hope that our little boy ends up with her abilities,” Oliver said.

  “You have a power?” I asked Sam.

  “I have an eidetic memory.”

  I stared at her, like if I looked hard enough, the meaning of what she'd said would come to me.

  Oliver noticed and laughed. “It means her memory is photographic. But in her case, it’s more than that. She retains information in perfect detail, with only a glance at it. It's really amazing.”

  “Thank you, Ollie,” Sam said. She smiled at him and lovingly placed her hand on his shoulder. The lovey crap was getting less sweet and more annoying by the minute.

  I took a couple more bites of my food, hoping the conversation could end there. But the sharp woman finished the story she was telling Chief Markham and turned her attention to me.

  “So, you're the new girl,” she said.

  My mouth was full of potatoes, but I did my best to say, “That's me.”

  “Nova, this is Tami Quinn. She is a master of mixed martial arts and honing special abilities. She is our trainer here,” Chief Markham said.

  “Call me Quinn. You're powered?”

  I swallowed my big bite. “I wouldn’t call it a power. It's more of an inconvenience, really.”

  “What do you do?” she asked.

  It made my stomach feel twisty to think of talking openly about it. I couldn’t see a way around it though. “My consciousness transfers into other bodies when I sleep. I don't get to pick the body, and I can't stop it from happening without GWNN. It’s pretty much the shittiest power.”

  “Well, we can work on it. You’ll be able to control yourself sooner than you think! I’ll make sure of it.”

  That sounded great. But also terrifying, coming from her. She was very intense. It set me on edge.

  Can't Cayde just teach me?

  I looked at him for help, but he seemed to purposefully not be looking at me.

  Jerk.

  After that, the novelty of the new girl seemed to wear off. Everyone went back to conversing with each other. I happily put my focus back on my food.

  Quinn soon finished eating and left the table. Chief Markham and Cayde discussed chores that needed doing in the garden. And the sappy couple continued being sappy.

  As I chewed, I looked around the room. Zane was sitting with Lily. Eric sat at the only full table with everyone else. There were so many empty chairs in the room—all of them representing people who were never found. People who suffered because of assholes who were now looking for me.

  It was strange to imagine being hunted that way. Just a week ago, I’d thought I had a bad case of amnesia and was freaking out about that! How simple that would have been...

  What if I can’t go back to my old life, now that I’m a part of this? What if they won’t stop hunting me?

  That thought was sobering. But I decided immediately that, even if that were the case, I couldn’t just let go of my past. I needed to know who I was.

  This body might be my own, but it isn't my body. Even if I can't get my life back, I want that “me” back. I want my memories back. There are too many that can’t ever be replaced.

  Trying to put myself back together piece by piece was too slow going and exhausting.

  Cayde must have felt my melancholy mood setting in, because he turned to me then. “Are you finished?”

  There was still food on my plate, but I had lost my appetite. “Yeah.” He picked up both our trays, and I followed him to the door.

  Once we were in the hall, he asked, “Is there anything you need to talk about?”

  I considered saying “no,” but he would know I was lying anyway. “What are the ch
ances that I’ll find my body again?”

  He looked at me for a long moment before he touched my arm to stop us walking. “If I’m honest, which I know you want me to be, I don't think it’s likely.”

  My face fell. He must have felt my heart sink too.

  “With how you were transferring bodies, there is just no way to know for sure where you started. We don’t even know why you got so far separated from your body in the first place. I’m really sorry, Nova.”

  When we reached my room, I stalled by fiddling with my key. “What about my memory? Do you think it’ll come back?”

  “There is really no way to know.”

  The pity in his voice was harder to hear than his answer. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that he didn't think it was likely. Him feeling sorry for me about it, just made it worse.

  “I really hope you will get it back. There is always hope.” He smiled, but it was small.

  I nodded. However small that hope was, I didn’t have it in me to give up on myself. Even if the realist in me did know better.

  With weighted shoulders, I unlocked my door.

  “I'll see you in the morning, Nova. We have training with Quinn, first thing.” The look on my face must have been downright pitiful, because he smiled at me and said, “I'll bring you coffee.”

  Bless him.

  “I'm sorry,” I spat out before my brain could find a way to stop me.

  He could have made me elaborate or clarify. He could have made me say it again. I would have deserved that. But all he said was, “I appreciate that.” He turned to leave. “Good night, Nova.”

  “Good night, Cayde.” And I closed the door behind him.

  14

  Cages

  Crowley took his seat in one of the few thinly padded chairs that still furnished the fourteenth floor’s repurposed lobby. It was only a moment later that Thaeo entered with Kyle in tow. The sight of them curled Crowley’s long fingers over the ends of the stiff armrests.

  Kyle’s pasty face was wet with sweat, despite the cool air in the room. The longest parts of his short, blonde hair were stuck to his forehead. As they approached Crowley, he shoved his large hands into the pockets of his black combat pants, hoping to hide their shaking.

  Thaeo brought them to a stop in front of Crowley, and immediately lowered his thick, black hood. He froze, awaiting instructions with a clenched jaw.

  “Thank you, Thaeo. That’ll be all.” Crowley said.

  Kyle shot Thaeo a pleading look.

  But Thaeo pretended not to notice. He had learned better than to see.

  “I want you to tell me why you have yet to bring me the girl I have asked you to find,” Crowley said. “And I want you to tell me why my cages are empty.”

  Kyle’s pale cheeks turned red as his rate of breath sped up. “I… Well, she…”

  “She managed to incapacitate a group of men, who claim to be trained fighters, and get away. I know what happened, Kyle. What I don’t know, is why you have yet to redeem yourself. Should I assume you are incapable of doing so?” Crowley tapped his forefinger against the armrest in a steady beat.

  “No, sir! We can find her! I’m sorry! Just give me some more time.” Kyle pressed his hands firmly against his thighs.

  Crowley stood and stepped close enough to Kyle to smell the cold sweat that dripped off of the young man’s long nose. “Patience is not something I have a lot of.” He strode around Kyle, stopping behind him to speak into his ear. “Failure has consequences.”

  Kyle shivered. “I won’t fail, sir.”

  Crowley stepped out from behind him. “Good.”

  “The… The satellites are no longer tracking her though, sir. How do we find her?”

  Crowley froze for a moment. Then, in one motion, he picked up the chair he’d been sitting in and threw it across the lobby. It crashed into the stack of large metal cages that sat along the far wall, knocking some to the floor, denting others. Kyle’s entire body shook now.

  “I don’t give a shit how you do it. Just do it.” Crowley said, in an unnaturally calm voice. Kyle nodded profusely.

  “And fill these cages. I have tests to run.”

  “Jeremy is coming in tonight with—”

  The heavy metal door opened. Thaeo entered with Jeremy—a tall, burly man dressed in black from head to toe. He was pushing a flat-bottom cart piled with unconscious bodies.

  “See! We’re on top of things, sir,” Kyle said in a high-pitched voice.

  Crowley gave him a sidelong look with fiery eyes before walking past him to approach the cart. “How many?”

  “Ten,” Jeremy answered.

  “Good. Get them locked up. I’m going home for the night.”

  As Crowley made his way toward the door, Jeremy lifted the body of a young girl. Her eyes popped open, and she immediately began to thrash. “No! Let me go! Please!” But Jeremy only squeezed her tighter, bringing her more quickly to a cage. “Please don’t do this!” she yelled.

  Her screams made Crowley turn to watch as she was shoved into the cage’s opening. He approached her to peer in through the gaps in the metal bars.

  “Please, let me go! I promise I won’t tell anyone about you! Just please, please, let me go!” Tears were streaming down her face with every word. Her long, strawberry hair stuck to her cheeks. Black mascara streaked from her eyes.

  “What’s your name, miss?” Crowley asked.

  “Adalyn,” she said, between sobs.

  “Don’t you worry, Adalyn. You’re a part of something now. Something important.” He placed a hand softly against the metal bars. “You’re going to help me save the world.”

  15

  When Cayde called me on the intercom, I was sitting in a wooden rocking chair beside the bed, where the same man with curly hair was reading to his daughter. I couldn’t see the girl’s face behind her mane of hair, but I knew she was smiling. I was admiring the father’s deep voice when Cayde’s boomed into the room like it was on surround sound.

  “Nova, are you awake? It's time to get up.”

  I looked around the room, freaking out for a few seconds, before the edges of my vision got hazy.

  None of this is real.

  The hazy edges overtook my view of the bedroom. When I could no longer see the girl and her dad at all, my eyes opened to find I was lying in my dim little room.

  Cayde's voice came over the comm system again. “Wake up. I left some clothes for you, outside your door. I'll be there in five minutes with your coffee.”

  Groaning, I rolled myself out of bed. With my eyelids barely lifted, I shuffled the few steps to the door, and opened it just wide enough to pull the folded stack of clothes inside. Unfolded, laying across my bed, the jumpsuits looked even more unflattering than they did when being worn. But once I’d put one on, I was pleasantly surprised.

  I wouldn’t fit in on any runways, but it was incredibly comfortable. Just looking at it, you would assume it’s made of a canvas-like material. But it was so much softer than that. If you tugged on the fabric, it stretched slightly. It was completely unrestrictive, especially since mine was a little baggy. I buckled the attached, wide belt around my waist, just above my hips.

  That helps give it some shape. A little… A bit.

  The belt did nothing. The outfit was ugly as hell. But who cares what you look like when you're comfortable? They were like those pajamas that fit you so well that you wear them nightly for ten straight years, even though they started collecting holes in year five. Some clothes are just worth wearing.

  I was attempting to smooth down my hair with my fingers when Cayde knocked. When I opened the door, my hand was already outstretched, awaiting the white coffee mug.

  Smiling, he said, “You're welcome. Good morning to you too.”

  “Mrrhhm,” I groaned as I closed the door behind me.

  He led us down the hall. “You'll have to drink that quick. We're meeting Quinn in ten minutes.”

  “Will everyone be there?”<
br />
  “Almost everyone. We have a group training session every other morning.”

  “Oh, joy.”

  “I think you'll grow to like it,” he said. But when he looked over at my tired face, he laughed. “Or maybe not.”

  “I need to stop in the locker-room.”

  I sipped my coffee as quickly as I could without burning myself, while we made the walk all the way to the end of the hall.

  A woman I hadn't met yet was washing her hands when I entered. Her dark, shoulder-length hair featured a single stripe of deep red that started in her bangs and streaked down the length of her hair. I only needed the quick glance I got in the mirror as I passed to notice the ferocity in her eyes. She was not someone to fuck with.

  Neither of us said good morning, or any other pleasantries. I think it was too early for both of us.

  I assumed she would be gone when I came out of the stall. But when I went to the sink, she was standing in the corner, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. It startled the hell out of me.

  The way she was staring made it obvious she had a problem with me. But I couldn't care less what it was. Deciding I would not instigate anything, I pretended she wasn't giving me the evil eye while I washed my hands.

  When I had to stand next to her in order to reach for a towel, she finally said, “So. You're Nova.” It wasn't a question; it was a statement of disgust. How I’d offended her so deeply, before ever meeting her, I didn't understand.

  “That's me. And you are?”

  “Harper.”

  “Good to meet you.” I tried to pass her to reach the door, but she grabbed my arm before I could.

  “Eric is off limits. If I hear that you spent time in his room again, we're going to have a problem. Got it?”

  I guess I’m not the only one around here who can get straight to the point.

  “Got it. Now let go of me, or we're going to have another problem.”

  She took her hand off of me, and I wasted no time getting out of there. Getting in a fight in the locker-room on my second day here probably wouldn't look very good for me. I snatched my coffee back from Cayde and took gulps as we walked. It burned my throat on its way down, but I was too irritated to sip.