Conversations With the Crow

by Gregory Douglas

  GD: I did promise.

  RTC: So you did but I am just reminding you. And now you have the reason. Does it satisfy you?

  GD: It would be much more fun if Hitler lived in Miami. There are thousands of illegal Jewish immigrants there.

  RTC: You can be rather annoying at times, Gregory. Tell me, did you ever tell the Mueller story about Hitler to anyone?

  GD: Yes, I told Jack Meanen, an old friend.

  RTC: Meanen?

  GD: Yes. A militaria dealer in New Hampshire. Used to work for your people.

  RTC: Whereabouts in New Hampshire?

  GD: Keene.

  RTC: Thank you. Well, I will see to it that Don Jose de Cabeza de Vaca won’t write to you again.

  GD: (Laughter) That’s not nice, Robert. Still, it fits. I was expecting him to tell me how he and the Pope used to play tennis with Joe Stalin. You should really pick your snitches with a bit more care. Vet them better. That one is the worst liar I ever encountered.

  RTC: We run with what we can sometimes, Gregory.

  GD: And why are your people in Costa Rica?

  RTC: As a base against the Communists and to protect the Panama Canal.

  GD: I can see some of that but the Canal?

  RTC: The Company uses it for big time deals and black operations if you must know.

  GD: Drugs from Columbia, no doubt.

  RTC: A very bad person, Gregory and my request for your silence extends to this subject as well.

  GD: I keep my word, Robert. I take some pride in this.

  RTC: Well, I knew Mueller and if you and he got along as well as you did, I assume you can keep quiet when it suits you. I would just like to live out whatever time is left to me in peace. I have enough problems with the Justice people calling me up and telling me how evil you are. I plan to ask Kimmel to stop this crap and I really don’t want to hear howls of anger from Langley because of some new nastiness you have launched. Well, enough of that nonsense. Anything else new?

  GD: I should tell the world about Hitler’s presence so close to the United States and take tours down there I can point out the buildings over the secret underground caves with the gold bars and the UFO parts and for a few dollars, sell them a piece from the special U Boat that brought Hitler, his wife and dog over. I do know that there were some SS and SD people with him but not that many. His cook and a few others. Mueller was very informative. Just think that instead of being burnt in the Chancellery garden, Hitler was living out his life in comfort just south of the border. That would put the fox in the hen house, wouldn’t it?

  RTC: I don’t even want to think about that one. I do assure you, Gregory, that we never brought him over or dealt with him. Some of his people, of course, that we did.

  GD: Well, Rauff was not one of his top people and I am somewhat taken aback that the CIA worked with Mengele.

  RTC: Well, we did fund the Remote Viewing nonsense so why not genetic engineering?

  GD: Wiesenthal[71] would crap his drawers if he ever heard about that.

  RTC: From what I hear, old Simon wears diapers and talks to dead relatives.

  GD: That might be an interesting subject.

  RTC: I tell you what. Send me a copy of what Mueller told you about Costa Rica and I will be in your debt.

  GD: My pleasure, Robert. You have sent me boxes of historically explosive material so I do owe you. No problem at all.

  (Concluded at 2:10 PM CST)

  Conversation No. 106

  Date: Tuesday, October 7, 1997

  Commenced: 11: 23 AM CST

  Concluded: 11:38 AM CST

  GD: What’s up, Robert?

  RTC: Emily is pestering me to have some tests made to see if I have lung cancer. Surgery is indicated. I smoke a lot and sometimes I get short of breath but I do not want to go under the knife. At my age, that’s a virtual death sentence. I’ll just keep on stalling as long as I can.

  GD: Well, good luck to you.

  RTC: Thanks. And what are you up to these days?

  GD: Being of some assistance to the KLA people.

  RTC: Those are very dangerous terrorists, Gregory. Do you know any?

  GD: Oh my yes, I do. By accident but I had no idea who these people were when I gave them some good advice on certain matters and got a lawyer for them. I don’t care what our government thinks of them. I don’t like Serbs and neither do they so that makes us on the same side.

  RTC: What kind of advice did you give them, if I might ask?

  GD: You may indeed. We discussed the nickel mines. The Ferronkeli mines.

  RTC: A rather sensitive subject, Gregory. What do you know about that?

  GD: I told them to grab the mines, get rid of the management and stuff the shafts or whatever with charges. Set them off if and when. I think I know some people who might be interested in making a deal on the output if and when. I am sure that guerrilla warfare against Belgrade will be successful in the end.

  RTC: The mines are of interest to a number of people, you know.

  GD: I’ve heard. I told my friends to get the mines and then they could pick and choose.

  RTC: I think there are people right now who have a reasonable expectation of getting their hands on that.

  GD: Your people?

  RTC: A mutual interest. I suggest you do not interfere in this, if you take my advice.

  GD: I usually do, Robert, but this time, I launched a project without mentioning it to you mainly because you are not involved anymore and it did not occur to me that the CIA might have business friends. I know your people are stirring things up over there so I just tried to be of friendly use to people I rather like.

  RTC: Bigger mines than Petsamo.

  GD: Yes and I think the locals should have control over them, not the friends of anyone here. More wars, insurrections and protracted death are due to business interests who have friends at Langley. Besides, they rather like me because I help my friends without bothering to ask for money.

  RTC: What do you expect to get out of this?

  GD: Good will. I think if the Serbs attack, they will have the shit kicked out of them and the Albanians will come out ahead. I like Albanians anyway. I mean they are very good friends and terrible enemies. I prefer people like that as opposed to the sissified cunts that are on the other side. No offense to you, of course, but I have run into some of our spies overseas and I have no respect for the purse-swingers.

  RTC: I have gathered that and not only from you. You have so many friends, Gregory.

  GD: Judge a man by his enemies, Robert. And as Otto[72] said, many enemies, much honor. If the KLA keeps on the way it has been going, they will start the ball rolling and it could be the breakup of the Tito empire. Terrible thought. I am sure the Croats, the Albanians and the Slovenes will be overjoyed. The Balkans have always been a hotbed of turmoil and disasters. The Serbs started the First World War and have been making trouble for decades. Maybe the KLA can start a bonfire and others can achieve militarily which they cannot. We can only wait and see and in the meantime, I love to get together with my Albanian friends and enjoy a pleasant interlude discussing politics and military projects.

  RTC: But the KLA are terrorists, Gregory.

  GD: I’m sure but Robert, your terrorist is another’s freedom fighter.

  RTC: And they’re not Christians.

  GD: I would hope not. The Christians have been responsible for more bloodshed over the years than Genghis Kahn and the Mongols. I can cite chapter and verse to you. My connections are Muslims anyway and that group is coming up to the top now. Another Mideast problem hatching from the egg. Of course any Muslim nationalism will be a direct counteraction to perceived Western meddling and, even more important, our slavish devotion to Israel. Hell, 95% of the Jews in Israel are Khazars and don’t have a drop of Jewish blood in them. The Ashkenazi are a bunch of bloody bastards and they simply barged into Palestine, claiming that was their ancestral home…which it was not. Ah well, far be it from me to try to enlighten our thoro
ughly corrupt legislators. Maybe a bomb up their collective asses will get them to be a bit less devoted and a bit more neutral.

  RTC: I doubt that will ever happen, Gregory, but you have a point there.

  GD: Of course but it is obvious. Israel would never help us but they demand we help them to the tune of billions of dollars down our drain. We don’t get value for money from that one, believe me.

  (Concluded at 11:38 AM CST)

  Conversation No. 107

  Date: Sunday, October 19, 1997

  Commenced: 3:30 PM CST

  Concluded: 3:50 PM CST

  RTC: How are you this fine day, Gregory? Up and at ‘em?

  GD: Trying to catch up on some of your documents. This Afghan business is interesting. One of the most consistently volatile areas on earth. Full of savage, very competent guerrilla warriors.

  RTC: Oh yes, I give you that. When we decided to enter the lists there in ’79, we were well aware of the make up of the country. Utter, backward savages but very, very effective guerrilla warriors. We felt at the time that if we could lock the Soviets in to a drawn out war, they would lose it, take terrible personnel losses and hemorrhage money the way we did in ‘Nam. It worked like a charm. We got the Saudis in this with us and they did a wonderful job. They trained the locals, armed them with weapons we sent them and did everything they could to help us field a good response to Ivan.

  GD: Well, I was reading about the Russian copters and how you gave the rag heads the small missiles to knock them down. Up to that point, those choppers were a deadly weapon for the Russians.

  RTC: Well, we did our best and we won, we won there and they lost. We avenged ‘Nam if you want to look at it that way.

  GD: But they did the fighting.

  RTC: So much better for us, don’t you think?

  GD: But the Russians must have known what they were getting into. They had a long history with the rag heads down there. Why invade a totally hostile area?

  RTC: Well, something to do but also because of the opium down there. Outside of our dear friends the Turks, Afghanistan is the world’s largest grower of opium. Immense money to be made there, my boy.

  GD: I can imagine. And do we?

  RTC: Of course we do. Started out in the golden triangle under my direction and just spread out. We set them up there, gave them pep talks, money and guns. No, they are on our side…or were.

  GD: ‘Were’ is a good word. You can’t trust tribal people like that. Give them guns to kill your enemy and when he’s dead, they’ll turn on you.

  RTC: Much too pessimistic, Gregory, much to pessimistic. Although I haven’t been in harness for some time, I keep in touch. No, those people love us, make book on it.

  GD: I don’t trust the Saudis, either. They hate us, Robert. I went to college with one of their royal family and he gave me quiet an insight. The royal family came from generations of camel thieves and I wouldn’t trust one of them to the corner for a pound of butter. We buy their oil and they smile and give us gold pen sets, just like you do to the boobies who help you for free. There is a large body of well-trained terrorists or freedom fighters as you will, looking for more exciting work. And the Saudis do not want them looking at their country.

  RTC: Well, the Saudis do hate us, quietly, but they own the Afghans and their people run them there. Most of the leaders of the so-called activist movements in Afghanistan are Saudis. Of course to a stupid American, all Arabs look the same. Agreed they dislike the infidels in the west but they sell their oil for American dollars, don’t they?

  GD: Oh subtle one, oh serpent, as the line went. As I said, the Saudi leadership, their royal family, descend directly from brigands and camel thieves so don’t be astounded if they sic the other ones onto us. What would they gain? Getting us out of the Middle East for one thing. I mean getting our military people out of there. And because they hate Israel with a passion, our ass kissing of those Mongol assholes will get us into real trouble.

  RTC: And what do you propose, Gregory?

  GD: Me? I know nothing but if it were up to me, I would get my pink ass out of that area and deal with everyone equally. When the Jews saw we were no longer their bigger brother, believe me, they would settle up with the Arabs in jig time. Oh, do excuse the awful racial remark there. Anyway, I think your people opened a Pandora Box giving weapons to those people. And they did terrible things to captured Russians. Tortured and killed them.

  RTC: Yes, one of the more enjoyable aspects of the whole business. A dead Russian whose head is being used as a soccer ball can’t fight us, can he?

  GD: As ye sow, Robert, so shall ye reap.

  RTC: My God, don’t drag the Bible into this. We did terrible damage to the Soviets, who, by the way, were our enemies at the time. They supported North Korea, didn’t they? Yes, I can tell you they did. So, what’s wrong with our supporting the Afghanistanis?

  GD: Well, it isn’t something I would have done but then I am not the shield and buckler of the nation.

  RTC: Ah, well now there you go! Right on the old nail head, Gregory. If it weren’t for the CIA, where would we be? Probably an occupied country.

  GD: Can we forget the little question of the opium? On the one hand, this has become a nation of drug addicts and most of the druggies, other than the glue-sniffers, get their drugs from the Mexicans, who get it from the Columbians, who, in turn, get the raw opium from Afghanistan courtesy of Air America. Crime rates soar, jails are packed, billions are spent on this but I suppose someone in Washington, or Langley, lives in a nice place, has a boat, a summer house on Long Island and another one in Bermuda. Well, so much for pragmatic sanctions.

  RTC: What?

  GD: An historical joke, Robert. Anyway, knowing you, I doubt if you made a dime from the drug business.

  RTC: Of course not. We got the political benefit in my department and at my level and others lower down, got the money. You can’t make an omelet, Gregory, without breaking a few eggs.

  GD: A favorite phrase of Ulanov.

  RTC: Lenin, of course. At certain elevated levels, it’s all just a game.

  GD: Unless your grandson overdoses, Robert.

  (Concluded at 3:50 PM CST)

  Conversation No. 108

  Date: Thursday, October 23, 1997

  Commenced: 11:45 AM CST

  Concluded: 12:15 PM CST

  RTC: Gregory, good day to you.

  GD: And to you. Rare that you call me, Robert.

  RTC: Well, you usually call me so I can save a dime. You know, some time ago, we were talking about Hitler and his disposition at the end of the war. I think we both know he got clean away, along with his mistress and a few trusted people.

  GD: Bormann not included.

  RTC: No, Bormann not included. The point is, I think it would be greatly appreciated here if you kept strictly away from this theme.

  GD: Well, first off, why?

  RTC: First off, even hinting at this is going to make more trouble for everyone than you can imagine. Oh yes, Hitler would be dead by now but there are tremendous implications. Everyone wants Hitler to be dead, a suicide in the ruins of Berlin. He will have expiated all of his sins in this way.

  GD: What sins? Rebuilding his country? Breaking the Communist cells in Germany?

  RTC: No, we are looking at the Jewish problem mainly but do not forget the immense wave of propaganda unleashed during the war about the evil Hitler was doing. The residues of this are still with us, coupled with Jewish rage.

  GD: Of course Jews would hate Hitler but actually, Hitler did not hate the Jews but used them as a unifying factor in his drive for political control. Hitler was not talking about the German Jews, who were well-integrated into Germany society in the ranks of the professionals…doctors, lawyers, judges and university people. Imperial Germany was very tolerant of Jews. No, Hitler had the flood of really nasty Polish Jews that descended on his country after the Poles chased them out after the First War. I mean these were grasping, nasty, dirty and very vulgar peo
ple who were easily identified as alien others and so a wonderful target for Hitler to blame everything on. And besides, most of the leaders of the Communist grabs for power in Germany after the war were all Russian Jews. No, the Polish Jews were a perfect patsy for Hitler. And he never, ever, spoke of gassing or killing them off. Force them all out of the country. Müller often talked about this with me and he was in charge of the expulsion program. The gassing stories were invented after the war when our people found delousing rooms in the camps and could not read the signs that explained the delousing schedules. And this was for clothes, not people. Most Americans have a problem reading anything but basic English so the German escaped them completely. I have the complete records, or at least microfilms of them, of the German camp systems and gassing inmates was not done. A number were shot or hanged for various crimes, such as murder of other inmates, sodomy, escape attempts, assaults on German guards and so on. The Hungarian Jews that were deported to Auschwitz in ’44 mostly were transferred from the camp before it was evacuated in ’45. Interesting to note that about ten thousand were left behind because they were too sick or weak to make the march to the west so the guards, who were conscripted local Poles, went in and shot most of them to death before the Russians got there. I think Ivan killed off the rest. Understand that both the Poles and the Russians hate Jews with a passion and do love to kill them. Well, I guess the Jews of the present era have discovered how to make gold out of blood.

  RTC: Not that I disagree with your unacceptable views, no matter how accurate they may be, the Jews are a political power in this country now and as I said a minute ago, the thought that Hitler was not burned up in his garden is not acceptable. Yes, for financial reasons but also because they don’t want to blame themselves for being a hated minority and want to blame the evil Nazis for throwing fat, screaming babies into huge fires. No, and we don’t want it put around that Müller and his friends all came to work for us. Jesus, Gregory, can you imagine the wailing and the threats of vengeance against the Company? I think you have done enough damage here. Didn’t the Army make a deal with you over this? As I recall, they gave you secret documents about Müller as long as you dumped him onto us and not them? Am I not right here?