Switching Witches

by Robyn Peterman

  Zach’s magic began to show. Bright golden sparks filled the tent and he growled low in his throat causing both Zorro and Willow to step back in fear. However, I wasn’t scared of him. His anger was wildly evident, but I didn’t think it was aimed at me. I could also smite his ill-mannered ass to hell and back with a wiggle of my finger.

  His frustration verged on a magical meltdown. This dude could definitely use a few sessions with my therapist, Roger the rabbit. What I didn’t need was Zach blowing all of our covers. What I did need was more information and I knew how to get it.

  “Fine,” I snapped, glaring at the ruder male version of myself. “I’ll leave right now so you can be with your mommy. However, we’re not done here, Zach. I’ll be taking Zorro and Willow with me.”

  “Are you going to hurt them?” he growled. Bright blue sparkling fire engulfed his fingertips and his eyes glowed dangerously.

  “There’s a far better chance they’ll be harmed by you right now,” I shot back as my own magic began to swirl around me, mixing with his and making it hard to breathe in the confined space.

  “Go with her,” Zach ground out to Zorro and Willow. “She’s right. You’ll be safer.”

  Zorro shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. “If I’m not here, it will be bad for you.”

  “I’m fine,” Zach snapped. “Go. Now. I will find you tonight.”

  There was so much more to this story than met the naked eye. And I was going to get to the bottom of it.

  With a wave of his hand, Zach blew us out of the tent. It took me by surprise and I wasn’t able to counter it. Zorro, Willow and I landed in a heap and knocked Sassy and her new blue broom to the floor.

  “Fuck me running in platform boots,” Zorro hissed as he shoved all of us under a table covered in wands across from the tent. Getting under the table with us, he pressed his finger to his lips. “Not a word. No matter what happens… not a word.”

  I could have sworn Willow’s fabu leafy hair ornament began to grow little vines with thorns, but I wasn’t sure as it was kind of dark and crowded under the table. Shit was getting real. I wasn’t sure what the shit was, but it felt very real.

  “Out of my way,” a harsh female voice demanded. “Marie Laveau is here.”

  Peeking out from under the table, I saw her. Again, breathing was difficult. Sassy grabbed my arm and silently dug her nails into me. There was a strange and bizarre evil in the air. The woman’s magic was wrong. I was pretty sure Sassy broke the skin on my arm, but my brain was such a jumbled mess I didn’t care. Marie Laveau aka Henrietta Smith was a showstopper—a wicked showstopper. Beautiful didn’t begin to describe her. Her colorful robes flowed behind her as she moved with such grace it was if she was dancing.

  However, there was no way in hell she was Zach’s mother.

  Nope. Her skin was a stunning mocha color and her hair was as black as night. And while the woman wasn’t exactly a kind of witch I recognized, she most definitely knew about the secret world that existed around her.

  I was certain the shenanigans had arrived.

  Chapter Ten

  “We need to have a little chat,” I said to Willow and Zorro, as I paced the living room of our hotel suite.

  The tension in the air was thick. But I was fairly positive it was individual and internal. We were all having our own personal panic attack—except Sassy. Sassy was polishing her new freakin’ broom with loving care.

  “I agree,” Zorro said cautiously. His body language was easy, but his unusual eyes were very serious.

  Zorro’s vertical pupils were slightly off-putting, but I’d gotten used to them quickly. The straight up and down black line in the center of the vivid blue was really kind of exotic and cool. Zorro was a goat after all. However, that didn’t mean I trusted him or Willow—nor did they trust me.

  None of us were really sure what each other’s intentions were. I could pull the Baba Yaga in training card, but that was a very last resort.

  Mac and Jeeves hadn’t reported back yet, but there was still another hour and a half before we were supposed to meet up. My cats? The fat fuckers were nowhere to be found. My guess was that they had found some feline hookers. I really hoped they slapped a coat on it because I wasn’t about to raise their illegitimate kittens.

  “What is it you want to know?” Willow asked as she glanced over at Zorro with concern.

  Willow, Zorro and Sassy sat in a row on the couch. Sassy had immediately tried out her new blue broom when we’d gotten to the suite. Thankfully, the ceilings were high. She’d only busted two lamps.

  “Goddess, you smell good,” Sassy said, sniffing Zorro. “Very minty.”

  Zorro grinned and patted Sassy on the head. “Thank you, gal pal. It’s new. Never understood the appeal of peppermint body wash until this morning. Feels like my butthole smoked a menthol cigarette.”

  “TMI, goat,” I said with a laugh.

  “Whoopsie,” Zorro said, easing the tension in the room. “I do tend to go on a bit.”

  Sassy sniffed him again and sighed happily. “I thought that was very descriptive. Your French is wonderful. Zelda can be a hardass, but since she’s training to be the next….”

  “Shifter Wanker with the most-est,” I said cutting Sassy off and hoping she’d get it.

  “Wait,” Sassy said narrowing her eyes. “I thought…”

  “Thinking. Is. Overrated,” I said, giving her the eyeball.

  “Are you speaking Canadian?”

  Blowing out a long sigh, I simply nodded. “I’m the Shifter Wanker—only the Shifter Wanker. I heal idiots. However, right now I’m feeling the need to inflict some pain on an idiot.”

  I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together so I didn’t snap my fingers and shove Sassy’s new broom up her ass and yank it out of her overactive mouth. If she kept talking, she’d reveal our bra sizes.

  “Who’s the idiot?” Sassy asked with wide eyes. “I’ve got your back. I will kick the idiot’s ass. Just point me at the bastard.”

  “Go look in the mirror in the bathroom,” I told her. If she left the room, I wouldn’t give her a pair of testicles attached to her forehead. Also, it would take her at least an hour of looking for someone hiding in the mirror before she either realized it was her or she decided the idiot was too camouflaged to find.

  Grabbing her broom, Sassy sprinted to the bathroom. Willow bit down on her bottom lip trying not to laugh. Zorro just smiled.

  “She’s not that clever, but she’s loyal and she can cast spells like a motherhumper, among other witchy things,” I said and then held my hand up before they could comment in any kind of insulting way. “And I love her. The idiot is my BBF—mostly by default because we spent nine months in the pokey together for misuse of magic. But that being said, I can talk smack on her all I want because she’s mine. I like you guys, but if you say anything bad about the imbecile, I will zap your asses so hard you won’t sit for six months. Cool?”

  Zorro laughed and made himself comfortable on the couch. “I hear you loud and clear, gurlfriend. I like you too. You’re my kind of fabulously dressed, semi-violent asskicker.”

  “Well… thank you,” I replied. “I’ve only been nice for a little over a year. I’m still seriously materialistic—which I’m kind of working on. But my uncaring reputation has suffered since my therapy sessions and being insanely happy. Orgasms help too.”

  Willow was giggling and Zorro didn’t have the haunted look in his eyes that I’d seen at Rupp Arena. However, there were many secrets being kept here.

  “Zach’s mother is not a human,” I stated, getting the ball rolling.

  “She is,” Zorro disagreed. “And I worry for your safety.”

  Shaking my head, I realized they didn’t understand. They weren’t witches. And my safety was the last of my concerns right now. Little did my new friends know I was very good at taking care of myself and others. Right now my concern was Zach—his heritage and his guilt or innocence. “Okay, let’s say
for argument’s sake she is human—which she’s not—she couldn’t have given birth to a warlock.”

  “She didn’t give birth to Zach,” Willow said slowly, looking to Zorro either for strength or approval.

  “But she’s his mother?” I pressed, not understanding.

  “Why are you here, Zelda?” Willow inquired warily.

  I stared at her for a moment and then decided to go with the truth—or most of it. If I wanted the truth from them, it was only fair that they got the same from me.

  “I was sent here by Baba Yaga,” I said slowly, waiting for their reactions.

  They didn’t disappoint.

  “You know the Baba Yaga?” Zorro asked, awed as Willow worried at her bottom lip with her teeth. “Is she fabu?”

  I rolled my eyes. “If you believe someone who is permanently stuck in the eighties—think Madonna wannabe—is fabu, then yes. And same rule applies to Baba Yojackhole. I can bash her big-haired ass till the cows come home. You guys? Not so much.”

  “Why did the leader of the witches send you?” Willow asked.

  I paused and considered her question. “She wasn’t sure why. Baba Yaga said there were shenanigans going on here.”

  “You got that right,” Zorro said under his breath.

  “We’re fine here,” Willow insisted as her leafy crown began to glow and spit little green sparks. She gave Zorro a harsh glance and he quickly glanced down at the floor.

  “Bloodletting is not fine,” I said flatly wondering why Willow was so unnerved and growing seriously uncomfortable.

  “It’s why Zach is still alive,” Willow hissed as a pine scented wind began to swirl through the suite. “If you’d like to be the cause of his death, then by all means keep prying.”

  Zorro was not pleased. “Willow. Enough.”

  My hair began to blow around my head and my fingers began to spark ominously. My choices were slightly limited here. We were in a freakin’ hotel loaded with humans. I could take Willow and Zorro prisoner, but the thought of that almost made me laugh. And I had no clue what Willow was other than really pretty with bizarre headwear. I wondered if Zorro knew…

  “Guys, I’m about to do something here,” I said, trying to pull back on my magic. “I’m gonna go with my gut. Not always the best idea since last week my gut told me to buy some chunky dad sneakers and some drop crotch pants because of a stupid ass article in Elle Magazine.”

  “You didn’t,” Zorro said with his hand over his mouth in horror.

  “I did,” I confirmed. “And they were on fucking sale, so I can’t send them back. Soooo, as you can see, my gut can lead me astray. I would really suggest you start talking or Goddess only knows what could go down.”

  Zorro and Willow exchanged glances. Willow looked like she wanted to cry and Zorro appeared defeated. My stomach clenched and I felt just horrible.

  “Henrietta is human,” Zorro said. “She’s well over a hundred and fifty.”

  “Not buying that,” I said flatly. “She looks about thirty to me.”

  “It’s true and it’s why you have to leave.”

  “Not finding anyone in the mirror,” Sassy called out from the bathroom.

  “Keep looking,” I yelled back. I turned back to Zorro and Willow and narrowed my gaze. “And you need to keep talking if you don’t want me to go all witchy on your asses.”

  “She takes Zach’s blood to stay young. And the blood from humans mixed with Shifter blood gives her power,” Willow blurted out as Zorro closed his eyes and nodded.

  “Drinking the blood gives her a modicum of power which is why you don’t sense she’s a human,” Zorro confirmed. “If she sees another healer, she’ll go after your blood as well. You need to leave town.”

  I was floored. And I was pissed. This made no sense. “Why would Zach give her his blood? And what the fuck kind of power does she have?”

  Zorro shrugged. “Her power is unknown. But most of the Shifter community has left the area. The threat of exposure or death has scared them away. It’s not safe here for any magical.”

  “Then why are you still here?” I asked, still unable to believe a human could wield any kind of power even if she was ingesting the blood of magicals and humans.

  “Zach saved my life twenty years ago. A gay goat Shifter is of no value to his herd. I’ll never reproduce. I was beaten and left for dead by my own kind,” Zorro said with a small sad smile on his face. “I won’t leave him to be drained dry by that woman. I’m the sacrificial lamb… or goat to be more specific.”

  “Explain,” I ground out through clenched teeth as I turned away and blasted a hole through the wall. My fury almost overcame me. “Sorry. Had to let a little out so I don’t take the building down.”

  “No worries,” Zorro said with an understanding smile. “It’s not a pretty tale.”

  “More,” I said. I needed to hear this even if I didn’t want to.

  “Zach healed me when I was dying and I in turn heal him.”

  That was interesting… “You’re a healer?”

  Zorro chuckled and shook his head. “No. Not even close. When she takes too much blood from Zach, my instincts kick in.”

  “Your instincts?” I wasn’t following. It was such a bizarre plot line I didn’t know what to make of it. However, I knew it sucked ass.

  “I faint in times of distress,” Zorro went on. “When she’s about to drain Zach dry, I pass out and she goes for my blood. When she’s done and Zach has recovered enough, he heals me.”

  I was right. This sucked all kinds of illegal and immoral ass.

  “Duuuuude, I can end this shit right now,” I said, blowing another hole in the wall. I chose a different wall. We were gonna have to pay a fucking fortune for the damage I was causing. However, replacing the entire hotel was out of the question. A few holes were keeping a lot of people safe. “I’ll march right back over to Rump Arena and send that evil bee-otch to the Next Adventure… or more likely Hell.”

  “It’s Rupp Arena,” Zorro corrected me politely.

  “Right. My bad. Rupp Arena. Just give me twenty minutes and this story will have a very happy ending,” I promised.

  “You can’t,” Willow gasped out and paled to the point I thought she was going to pass out. “He’ll die.”

  “Not Zach,” I told her. “Marie Henriette Laveau Smith. I can smite her ass like you’ve never seen. A quickie little spell with a healthy dose of profanity thrown in will solve it. No. Problem.”

  Zorro shook his head and ran his hands through his hair in agitation. “Willow is correct. If you eliminate Henrietta, you will also eliminate Zach.”

  The news was unwelcome and my reaction to it shocked me. My stomach cramped and I felt like a part of me was dying. WTF? “Pardon me for a sec,” I growled.

  Wiggling my nose, all of the furniture in the room began to fly and landed in a large heap in the middle of the suite. I left the couch that Willow and Zorro were sitting on alone. I did have a few manners. There was now a chair, TV, lamp, desk and end table pile. With a slash of my arm through the air, I incinerated the assemblage. The fire danced as flames engulfed the furniture. It relieved some of my stress, but I was still a ticking time bomb. Gold and silver glitter swirled around the room and a strong wind blew through knocking Willow and Zorro to the ground.

  “I smell fire. Are you making s’mores without me?” Sassy yelled from the bathroom.

  “No,” I shouted and rolled my eyes. Snapping my fingers, I doused the flames. I didn’t need a human fire department showing up. This would be kind of hard to explain.

  “That was impressive,” Zorro commented, getting to his feet and extending his hand to Willow.

  I shrugged. “That was nothing,” I shot back grimly. “Explain to me why Zach’s life is connected to that woman’s.”

  “Henrietta bought him,” Zorro said woodenly. “She owns him.”

  “People don’t own people,” I snapped, wondering what pile of crap Zorro was trying to feed me.
>
  “Zelda, you’re thirty-one years old,” Willow pointed out. “We’re not. Many things that are wrong happen all the time.”

  “How old are you?” I demanded, trying to put pieces of an enormous puzzle together that made no sense at all.

  “I’m a hundred and Zorro is seventy-five,” Willow said.

  “I know why Zorro stayed. Why did you?” I asked her.

  “Because I love him,” she whispered.

  Her statement tore at my heart. However, since magicals stopped aging around thirty, their ages didn’t shock me. But the shockers had just begun.

  “Still not following why his life is connected,” I snapped, needing to let a little more steam off so we would all survive the next few minutes. “Guys, could you move away from the couch please?”

  “Certainly,” Zorro replied quickly and pulled Willow a safe distance away.

  Aiming my middle finger at the couch, it disintegrated to ash. Zorro and Willow watched with wide, shocked eyes.

  “I’m good now,” I said, expelling a long breath. “This shit is affecting me in weird ways.”

  “Wait,” Willow said, getting excited as the leaves in her hair perked up and a few pink flowers appeared. “Can you break a spell?”

  “What kind of spell?” I asked doubtfully, still wondering what the heck she was. “It would be safest if I knew who cast the spell.”

  “Not sure about any of that,” she said, getting more excited. “Zach’s life is connected to Henrietta’s by some kind of enchantment.”

  “Cast by a human?” I asked.

  “No,” Zorro said. “It was cast when he was sold—by his birth mother.”

  The room began to spin and I sat down on the floor before my knees gave out and I fell. “Do you know who his real mother is?”

  “We don’t,” Willow said, approaching me and touching my hair that was the identical shade of Zach’s. “But I’m hoping maybe you do.”