Switching Witches

by Robyn Peterman

  Goddess, I was grateful for my dorky tree minions. I’d take a corny tree joke over this bullshit any day of the week. The little bastards that served the Baba Yaga were miniature nightmares with seriously bad attitudes.

  “Duuuuuuude, I don’t like your tone of voice,” I ground out, clapping my hands and giving them each a large set of double D’s and uni-brows. “Do not fuck with me. I’m a little on edge at the moment and that doesn’t bode well for your tiny testicles. You feel me?”

  “Undo this,” Warren snarled, starting to glow. “You are a menace and a blight on all Witchdom. We have plans to stop your ascension when the time comes. And it won’t be pleasant—for you.”

  “No one is going to stop me from taking a job I don’t want—especially someone with elephant ears and duck feet,” I snarled right back at him.

  “I don’t have elephant ears and duck feet,” Herm growled.

  “Whoops, hang on,” I said waving my hand and making my statement come true. “Now you do. And just so we’re clear here. The spell can only be reversed by me. Baba Yodummy can’t help you.”

  “You are wretched,” Warren grunted as he tripped over his ears and landed on Herm. “One day you shall pay dearly.”

  “Not today,” I said, stepping over them and opening the front door.

  Zach didn’t step over the hissing and spitting warlocks. He stepped right on them. “Do not fuck with my sister. She’s being nice. If you talk to her like that again, you will deal with me. I’m not nice,” he said as the warlocks cowered in fear.

  Zach’s defense of me made giddy. He liked me.

  “Are you going to leave them like that?” he asked as he followed me inside.

  “No, I’ll reverse the spell when we’re done here. But I am going to have a sit down with Baba Yaga about her icky minions wanting to end me.”

  “Do you have icky warlock minions?”

  “Goddess in drop crotch pants, no,” I said. “I have freaky trees as minions and three nut licking cats as familiars.”

  “Trees?” he asked.

  “Yep. Sponge Bob, Sleepy, Doc, Sneezy and Grumpy.”

  “Well, that makes sense,” Zach said.

  “How in the hell does that make sense to you? I’m still kinda put out about it. Those big bastards are freakin’ destructive.”

  “It makes sense why Willow is so obsessed with you.”

  “Not following,” I replied in a cranky tone. “Do you know what Willow is too?”

  He nodded and closed his eyes for a moment. “I do even though she thinks I don’t.”

  Zach opened his eyes and we stared at each other. The pain in his expression made me want to hug him, but his body language made it clear that my affection wasn’t welcome.

  “She loves you.”

  “I know,” he said, sounding defeated. “It’s better that she believes I don’t care.”

  “But you do?” I asked.

  Zach’s face turned completely expressionless—like there was no one home inside him.

  “Zelda, I have nothing to offer anyone—even you—and definitely not Willow. I’m tied to a snake whose only concern is living forever. It’s selfish of me to even keep Zorro and Willow around. If we can reverse the spell, then maybe things can be different. If we can’t, I want something from you.”

  “What?” I asked as my chest tightened and my heart began to beat faster.

  “You think you love me… right?”

  “I know I do,” I told him, unembarrassed and unashamed.

  “Then will you promise me something?” he asked.

  “Depends on what it is.” I knew this wasn’t going to be good, but I would hear him out.

  “If we can’t break the spell, I want you to kill me,” he stated as benignly as if he was talking about the weather.

  I was stunned to silence. There was no way on the Goddesses green earth that I could take my brother’s life. It would be like taking my own.

  “The spell prohibits me from killing myself,” Zach explained. “Goddess knows I’ve tried so many times I can’t count. Henrietta kills to live and I have to take some responsibility for that.”

  “No one is responsible for what other people do,” I said as my eyes filled with tears.

  “I can’t stop her,” Zach said harshly. “I’ve watched her do it and I did nothing.”

  I didn’t believe that for a second. “The spell prevents you from stopping her?” I whispered, sick at what he’d seen and had to go through.

  Zach nodded his affirmation in a jerky motion. “It doesn’t matter. I’m part of the vicious cycle. It has to end and you can help me end it.”

  I understood and I didn’t. I’d been through my own personal hell, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as my brother’s. Already I would do just about anything for him… except end him.

  “How about this?” I said, sucking my bottom lip into my mouth. “Let’s try to undo the spell first and then revisit this conversation if we have to. Fair?”

  “Fair,” Zach said as he blew out a relieved breath. “You’re a good sister.”

  His requirements for a good sister were a bit alarming, but I didn’t blame him for it. In his shoes, I would have probably begged for the same thing.

  “Let’s go have a little chat with our egg donor,” I said, very ready to change the subject.

  “Lead the way, sister. I’m your right hand man.”

  And that was how I wanted it to stay. Forever.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Do you know where she is?” Zach inquired as we walked down hallway after hallway with no results.

  “Of course, I do,” I said with a monster eye roll. “I just thought we should get some exercise before we dropped in for a visit.”

  Zach laughed. I didn’t. The pokey was a whole lot larger than I remembered. However, I’d spent my entire time in a cell so what the hell did I know?

  “Take my hands,” Zach instructed. “You know what she looks like, correct?”

  I nodded and took his hands. “You can find her because I know what she looks like?”

  Zach just smiled and led us to a wooden wall. “Lean on the wood. I need to pull the energy from it to see clearly.”

  “Where’d you learn this?” I asked as I did as I was told.

  “Willow,” he said.

  Holy Goddess in black socks and sandals, the clues were starting making sense. The only problem was, I was pretty sure that the conclusion I’d come to didn’t exist.

  “So Willow pulls power from trees?”

  “She does,” he said, eyeing me with amusement. “You figured it out yet?”

  “Maybe. I wasn’t seeing things when she walked out of the trunk of the tree?”

  “Nope,” Zach said as bright shimmering green sparkles began to pop around his head like a halo making him look like an angel.

  “And the twig I pulled off her head was really connected?” I asked.

  “It was.”

  “Shit,” I said with a wince. “That couldn’t have felt good.”

  “I need you to concentrate on the egg donor’s face,” Zach instructed and closed his eyes.

  “I will in a sec,” I promised. “Is Willow a bagworm Shifter?”

  Zach’s eyes popped open and his grin was wide. “Do not ever let her hear you say that. She would have a shit fit.” His brow wrinkled in confusion. “Is bagworm Shifter even a real thing?

  “It was a shitty guess,” I shot back defensively. “And I have no clue if they exist. The only other things I can think of really don’t exist. They’re only in fairy tales.”

  Zach stared at me dumbfounded. “Witches are in fairy tales. Do you believe they exist?”

  “Umm… duh,” I said, thinking there might be a lot I didn’t know.

  “Fairy tale creatures exist. Mostly they’re awful.”

  I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t falling for that shit. “Mmmkay, whatever you say.”

  Zach rolled his eyes and beat my eye roll, which sucked so I
rolled my eyes again.

  “Are we having a contest here?” he inquired with a grin as he rolled his eyes once again… and fucking won.

  “So trolls exist?” I asked, holding back an eye roll that in no way could beat his. I did not like to lose.

  “Yep,” he said. “Very smelly.”

  Willow couldn’t be a troll. She smelled great. “Hint?”

  “No can do, sis. I don’t like getting zapped by the Goddess of nature.”

  “Did you just give me a hint?” I asked, getting frustrated.

  “Maybe.”

  Nature… not a witch… gets power from trees… not a fucking bagworm Shifter… gives great eye roll… dresses like a fashion model… fairy tale creature.

  “What was your favorite subject in school?” Zach asked, leaning against the wall and realizing I wasn’t going to give up.

  “Lunch.”

  “Umm… okay. Did you take mythology?”

  “Nope.”

  Zach sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “You’re a pain in the ass.”

  “Thank you,” I replied. “If we play a hint game that wouldn’t be cheating, right?”

  “Since we’re wasting time here, I’ll play your game—for two minutes. When you’re not wet you’re…?”

  Shit. I was horrible at games. Why in the hell had I suggested a fucking game? Henry and Audrey beat me regularly at Candy Land… even when I cheated. “Lightly perspiring?” I guessed. Wrong—if the look on Zach’s face was any indication.

  “No. Another way to say arid is…”

  “Hot.”

  “No. Two syllables. Second syllable. If you don’t subtract you…” Zach hinted.

  “You have more,” I said triumphantly.

  My brother’s chin hit his chest and he groaned. “You get one more shot. And remind me never to be your partner in charades.”

  “Two more shots. There are two fucking syllables,” I said with a raised brow and middle finger. “And give me good ones.”

  “I have been,” he muttered. “What rhymes with bad and starts with A?”

  “Add,” I shouted, feeling like I got that one correct.

  “Yep,” Zach said with a chuckle. “What rhymes with pry and starts with D?”

  “Dry!” I said as I danced around, pumping my arms in the air. “Willow is an Adddry. And how any of you idiots thought I would figure that shit out, I will never know. Never even heard of an Adddry.”

  “I’m so done with you,” Zach said and went to grab my hands again. “We can try this again later. After we find the egg donor.”

  “I didn’t get it?” I asked, deflated.

  “You didn’t get it, but you will… maybe,” he said with a smile. “You would have driven me insane if we’d grown up together.”

  “I know,” I said with a giggle. “It would have been awesome.”

  That sobered both of us and reminded us why we were here. We didn’t grow up together. We weren’t able to protect each other from the horrors that had been our childhoods. And the person responsible for that was somewhere in the building.

  Extending my hands to my brother, I closed my eyes and pictured my mother. I felt a zing go through my body as Zach’s hands gripped mine tight. His breathing was choppy and I grew lightheaded as I felt him absorb the image of our mother from my mind.

  “She’s right around the corner,” he said tightly, letting my hands drop. “We’ve passed her at least five times.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  She didn’t even turn around when we entered. It was if we didn’t exist. However, that was the way it had always been. I’d been invisible to my mother my entire life.

  “Put it on the table. I’ll eat when I’m hungry. You can leave,” she said dismissively.

  Zach glanced at me and I shrugged. She clearly thought we were the hired help. She was wrong.

  Judith was in a suite of sorts. It was far more posh than the cell I’d spent nine months in. It looked more like an upscale apartment. Maybe it was her home now—a home with guards and bars on the windows. I was surprised there were mirrors in the room, but then I remembered that my mother had no magical power anymore and couldn’t scry.

  “We’re not room service,” I said and realized my stupid voice was shaking.

  Zach put his arm around me and pulled me close to his side. The connection to the person who was the other half of me calmed me and gave me strength.

  Judith’s shoulders tensed and she slowly turned her head. There was only the merest flicker of surprise in her still beautiful eyes as she took us in. It vanished as quickly as it had arrived. Our mother now just stared at us as if we were strangers who had wandered into her quarters.

  “What do you want?” she asked coldly.

  Zach’s body was as tense as it could be without exploding—literally. I could feel that talking wasn’t going to work for him. Not a problem, I had his back… and I always would from this day forward.

  “This is your son, mother,” I said flatly. “The son you sold into blood slavery.”

  Judith nodded and continued to stare at us blankly.

  “You have nothing to say?” Zach ground out as his magic began to leak out causing a small fire on the rug we were standing on.

  “What do you want me to say?” she inquired with disinterest as she watched the fire burn. “I liked that rug.”

  Waving my hand, I doused the fire. Not for her sake though. I thought it might be a bad idea to burn the pokey down. I’d already disfigured the asshole guards. Incinerating the building probably wouldn’t go over well.

  “How about an explanation? You owe us that much,” I demanded, wanting to zap her ass or crawl over on my hands and knees and beg her to love me. My agonizing childish needs had not gone away. I realized they would probably never go away. My weakness infuriated me.

  “What’s to tell?” she asked, bored with the conversation that meant everything to Zach and me. “You’ve clearly figured it out. Male healers aren’t as powerful. I had no use for a male.”

  “So you sold me?” Zach choked out, furious.

  “It was either that or drown you,” Judith said with a careless shrug. “I was being kind to let you exist.”

  My dark magic was so close to the surface, I could taste it. My arms and chest were now covered in a sparkling black enchantment. Zach glanced over at me and his eyes widened in shock.

  “I told you I had dark magic,” I hissed at him and tried to control my need to blow our egg donor to smithereens. I could literally feel my brother’s heart shredding inside his chest. He never should have come here with me. These memories could never be erased.

  “If you’ve come to end me, get it over with. If not, you’re welcome to leave,” Judith informed us picking up a book off the table and opening it up to read.

  She hadn’t moved a fraction of an inch closer to us. There was no instinct in Judith to touch or show any affection to the two people she’d given birth to. What had happened to her to make her like this? Hugging and loving Henry and Audrey was a no brainer to me—it was second nature.

  “I have twins,” I said, wondering if she would react to anything we said or did.

  “You do?” Zach asked with a smile of surprised delight.

  “I do,” I told him with a grin, forgetting Judith was in the room for a moment. “Henry and Audrey—red curls and chubby cheeks. I miss them so much right now it hurts. They’re gonna love you.”

  The expression in Zach’s eyes was a mix of joy and pain. As far as my own twin was concerned, he believed there might be no tomorrow for him. That’s when I was jerked back into our harsh reality. I remembered where we were and what we were doing.

  “Tell me the spell you cast on Zach the day you sold him,” I snapped, turning back to the unfeeling woman who watched us with barely restrained apathy.

  Judith looked at me like I was stupid—not an unfamiliar expression for her. “I cast no spell on the boy.”

  “You gave the boy a na
me,” I snarled, wondering what game she was playing. “Use it. The boy’s name is Zach. You destroyed his life by selling him and casting a spell that ties him to a woman possibly worse than you—which is hard to fucking believe. So spill it, Judith. Tell me the spell you cast. Maybe then the Goddess will look more kindly on you on your reckoning day.”

  Her indifference made me furious. Her words made me want to end her before Zach did it.

  “I told you,” she said. “I cast no spell.”

  “Lies,” I shouted. “Do you want to be taken out by the two people that you brought into this world?”

  “It would certainly be a fitting end,” Baba Yaga said as she poofed into the room in a blast of peach and silver glitter.

  The Baba Yaga had arrived in all her eighties glory. It was clear that Zach had no clue who she was. I wanted to give him a heads up, but there was no time for that. He’d have to figure it out himself.

  Judith wasn’t any more interested in Carol’s entrance than she was in her children’s presence. She buried herself in her book and ignored all of us.

  “My Goddess,” Baba Yaga said as she stared at Zach as if she’d seen a ghost. “This is truly unbelievable.”

  I closed my eyes and thanked the Goddess. It was very clear that Baba Yaga knew nothing of my twin. Mac had been correct. This was a good thing because I would have torn Carol’s ass to shreds if she’d known no matter how powerful she was.

  “And you are?” Zach asked warily.

  Baba Yaga was a bit taken aback by the question. Every witch and warlock in the Universe knew who she was. She continued to stare at the two of us and then smiled.

  “I’m Baba Yaga—the caretaker of all witches and warlocks.”

  “You missed one,” I said rudely.

  “So I see,” Baba replied.

  She didn’t smite me for my disrespect. I was positive she understood.

  “And is having a brother the reason you turned two of my minions into circus freaks?” she questioned.

  As she spoke, Baba Yaga crossed the room and removed the book from Judith’s hands. When Judith began to protest, Baba flicked her fingers and burned the book to ash.