Surrender

by Cassandre Dayne

  The figure sprinted in front of the small out building and stood with his arms crossed staring toward the house. The light breeze from the early evening fluttered through the long hair and as he tilted his face, a daring smile crossed his face.

  Jax froze and realized the man was grinning, beckoning him to come outside. No, he was daring him to come outside. He turned back toward the back hallways and heard the beginning of the soft jazz music. His hands shaking, he tentatively opened the door and walked outside. Suddenly the figure disappeared.

  “Jax, you belong to me.”

  He turned toward the soft male voice that reverberated across the bank of low shrubs as his heart thumped into his chest. Had he really heard a voice?

  “Over here Jax Steele. Come to your destiny.”

  He closed his eyes and turned again, this time seeing the man standing barely thirty feet from where he stood. “What do you want?” Jax could barely recognize his own whisper it was so hoarse and scattered. His mouth was cotton dry and as he tried to lick his lips he realized they were suddenly swollen. What was happening?

  The figure laughed and cocked his head. “You know exactly what I want, Jax. I want all of you. I want the man that you are to be. I want the man that is supposed to be.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Come Jax and allow me to shower you with the understanding of your destiny.”

  “My destiny? What the hell are you talking about?”

  The figure laughed. “Why dear man, your destiny is to be with me. I’m here to claim your very soul.”

  Jax shivered uncontrollably as the words fluttered into the depths of his core being. Hearing echoes he couldn’t breathe as the mere thought both mesmerized and terrified him and somewhere in the back of his mind he knew could sense a future very different from his own. As he began shaking, he felt the hand on his arms, tugging. Pulling. He jerked it away. “No…no I don’t want what you are offering.”

  “Jax.”

  “No!” He turned quickly and for a moment couldn’t understand what his eyes were attempting to focus on. The stifling chill was unlike any he had ever experienced in his life. As it trickled throughout his system, he panted.

  “Jax honey, what the hell just happened? You look like you’ve seen a ghost and you’re chilled to the bone. What did you see?” Amanda wrapped her arm around him rubbing her arms across his forearms.

  He stood shivering until he could take it no more and glanced back outside. There was nothing there. Dear God he was losing his mind. “I guess I was thinking about the case and got lost in the details. I don’t know really. Maybe the whole thing has spooked me somehow.”

  “Spooked you? You look pale and ready to collapse. Honey, I’m a nurse and you’re not okay. Whatever is going on with you is scaring me to death. Let’s get you upstairs and into a hot bath.”

  There was no reasonable explanation of what he had just experienced. There was also no way that he could process the event. Jax glanced back out the window once again almost wishing the figure was there, but he could see only the soft flutters of the wind pulsing through the leaves. He allowed himself to be guided toward the bathroom and even relished in her gentle hands removing his clothes and helping him into the water.

  Amanda eased into the tub and took his hand into hers, kissing his palm. “You think you saw something outside, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t know. I think I’m just tired and antsy from the case and I don’t know what I am seeing.”

  “When this is over, you wanna think about maybe going somewhere together? I honestly think you need to get away. Between fighting for your daughter and now this case, you’re just worn out.”

  Jax smiled. “You’re right and I would love that.”

  “Then it’s a date or a deal.” She smiled and inched closer. “You warm enough?”

  He shook his head. “Not yet.” He drew her closer and pulled her legs around his waist, settling her into his lap. “I love holding you so tightly you know. You just fit so well.”

  Amanda snaked her arms around his neck and darted her tongue out to taste his lips. “You taste heavenly and I’m glad we’re here right now. I’m really worried about you though, Jax. It’s like you are reliving the nightmare you told me about all over again.”

  Jax sighed. The only reason he had told her anything was that Paula had brought up the entire horrible event during the custody hearing. “I know. I’ve thought about that but it’s not the same, just dredging up old feelings.”

  “I think it’s time to talk to somebody, Jax.” Amanda bushed her hand down the side of his face.

  “Not yet. Or at least not until this case is done. I can’t afford the time and the distraction.”

  Amanda nuzzled into his chest. “I know what you’re saying but I you don’t get this out of your system, it’s going to eat you alive. I’m here if you need me you know. You can lean on me any time you need a quick fix or someone to talk to.”

  “A quick fix?”

  She pressed the wet heat of her cunt into his cock and eased back to stare into his eyes as she allowed her fingers to trace lines down his chest. “Yes a quickie.”

  Lifting her hips, Jax held her over his erection, sliding her cunt back and forth across his swollen tip. Suddenly hungrier than he’d ever been for her, he was unsure if he would be able to stop. “You sure about this?”

  “Uh-huh, if you can handle me.”

  “Oh now with an offer like that…” With one swift hard thrust, he impaled her onto the entire length of his rock hard cock as she moaned and closed her eyes. “You mean like this?” He held her tightly as she squirmed.

  Amanda licked her lips and pressed her hips forward and back and forward again, the friction creating ripples in the water. “More.”

  He lifted her again and brought her down with a wild quick thrust. “More like this?”

  “Harder, please harder.”

  Jax growled and lifted, holding her steady, finally bringing her down with enough force that water cascaded over the edge of the tub onto the floor. “Yyyyeeeessss… You’re so damn hot, so wet.”

  “Please harder.”

  Chuckling, Jax brought her almost all the way up off his cock and keeping her aloft while he leaned forward and nipped one pebbled nipple and then the next. Slamming her down again and again, they both moaned from their combined rapture until they were nearly breathless from the intensity of their sex. His heart thumped wildly as he forced her up and down with wild abandon, driving into her with a fury he had not known.

  “Oh Jax!” Amanda moaned and lolled her head back attempting to meet thrust for thrust as the water shimmied up over the edge of the tub and her hands clawed his neck. “Dear God…oh yes!”

  “Baby, you feel so damn good.” He nipped the underside of her chin, tasting the sweet delicate flavor of her skin and savoring the warm fragrance of vanilla and jasmine. She was quite possibly the perfect woman for him. As she tightened around his shaft, drawing him further into her body, milking and suckling his throbbing shaft, his dick swelled, growing inside of her as his orgasm would not be held at bay for long.

  “Oh shit…I’m going…to…oh shit!” Her hands flailing, Amanda grabbed his shoulders, jerking him forward as she tipped her head back and screamed in short bursts. “Ah…ahah…”

  “That’s it baby, cum on my cock. Cum for me again.” He kept the frenetic pace driving into her and keeping his own orgasm at bay as she wiggled and moaned and clawed his flesh. “That’s it. Cum baby.”

  The climax racing from the tips of her toes, she shivered as the roar thrashed through her body pitching her forward into Jax. She moaned loudly as the beads of sweat dripped down her face from the heat of their passion of the steam from the bath. “Oh…my...God.” Swallowing hard, she licked her lips as he held her tightly.

  He inched forward, changing the angle just slightly so his cock shaft in deeper. “I want to cum so deeply inside you that you never forget.”


  Amanda’s eyes fluttered open and closed and she sighed. “Please.”

  Jax kept the pace, forcing her up and down on his shaft until he could hold back his need no longer. “Yyyyyeeessss!” Erupting inside her sweet pussy, they both moaned together as the complete rapture of their togetherness melded them together.

  “I love you, Jax.” As the words tumbled out of her mouth, they both froze and Jax sighed against her chest. Opening and closing his mouth, he couldn’t say the words.

  ***

  Monday dawned gray and threatening storms in the horizon. Jax had barely gotten any sleep and because he’d tossed and turned in the double bed, sweating profusely. Amanda was awake almost the entire night. They both finally had given up before five and she went downstairs to make coffee. The mirror told no lies. He looked like a wreck. Dark circles indicated just how little he’d slept. The shower helped soothe his aching muscles but even the dry toast didn’t squelch his upset stomach. At least it wasn’t as bad as it had been before. Already late for work, he was grateful he’d kept some clothes at her place.

  “Will I see you tonight?” She asked casually as she kissed him on the cheek and pressed his collar down.

  “No. Working on the case tonight.”

  Eyeing him cautiously, Amanda nodded saying nothing else as she handed him his keys.

  “Amanda, you know I care about you, right?”

  She chortled. “Said like a man who’s going to break up with me.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “You don’t remember what happened last night?”

  “You mean in the bath. Of course I remember. It was wonderful.”

  Amanda shook her head and walked toward the window. “First you’re seeing little green men in my back lawn and then you can’t remember pushing me off of you. I just don’t know what to think, Jax.”

  “What in the hell are you talking about?” He remembered turning down dinner again and having another glass of wine but after that, little else. Vaguely he remembered soft sounds…of… “Were you crying?”

  Amanda tipped her head back and laughed. “You really don’t remember, do you? I knew you probably had too much wine on an empty stomach but Jesus, Jax. Yeah, I was crying all right. That happened right after you told me you weren’t interested in being with me any longer. We were on the couch kissing and you suddenly jerked away pushing me to the floor. So yeah, I went to bed pissed and told you to get out but you lumbered up anyway and the thing that really pissed me off is that you tried to get me to fuck you after that. Jesus Christ.” She turned to stare into his eyes.

  Shaking, Jax opened and closed his mouth unsure of what to say. “I honestly don’t remember any of that. I have no idea what to say to you. I have never…I …” He had been that way in his life drinking too much and eating almost nothing only one other time and it had almost destroyed him. But he’d never done anything to someone he cared about. Even all the nights that Paula had screamed at the top of her lungs about how worthless he was, he simply went to the study and drank himself into a stupor.

  “I don’t know, Jax. I think I know you and then something like this happens. I know this case is rough and I understand that you need a vacation and I know it’s bringing up so many terrible things from the past, but you’ve got to get some help.”

  “I promise you I didn’t mean it. I want you and want you with me and I…” He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer. All the demons were coming back and he feared losing the battle this time.

  “I’m worried. I can’t lie to you. I don’t know if I can take it.” Amanda shook her head. Her eyes filed with tears.

  Longing to figure his ridiculous actions out, Jax stepped forward but she put out her hand.

  “Don’t Jax. If you need to work on the case then go and try and get this thing solved. Perhaps it’s best that we don’t see each other until it’s over with. You need a clear head for this and you certainly don’t have that.” A single tear fell from her lashes onto her cheek. She wiped it furiously and turned away.

  “Amanda I promise you I’ll fix this.” Swallowing hard, Jax had no idea what to say.

  “I really hope you can Jax because I was really starting to care about you more than in just a casual way. I really thought we might’ve had a chance.”

  He watched her fighting the tears as she held her arms and stared out the window and for the first time in his life, he believed all the damning things both his horrible father and Paula had told him. He was a worthless piece of shit. “Don’t give up on me, okay?”

  She sighed and nodded. “Go Jax. We’ll talk in a few days, okay?”

  How he wanted to reach out and take her into his arms and tell her that he was the man she wanted him to be but somewhere inside he knew that he was nothing but damaged and even after all the years of soul searching and what he thought had been forgiveness, he was right back where he was when he couldn’t save his beloved from the real monster of the night. He swallowed hard, his own tears falling softly down his cheeks as he lumbered toward the front door. He had to find a way. He just had to.

  ***

  “Bout time you got here. We might just have a lead on the other kid.” Mike lifted his head from the file and glared at him. “Another rough night?”

  “Something like that. What did you find?” Jax asked quietly. He couldn’t get his mind off of Amanda and what had happened.

  “Cross referenced the picture with missing persons again and got a hit first thing this morning. But from what we can tell the kid never worked with Aleksandr Vasiliev.”

  “Doesn’t mean anything as Aleks said he sometimes works with kids and pays them in cash.”

  “Well, we have an appointment with his parents. The kid had moved back home last year to go to school and ws working quite a bit. One day he just disappeared.”

  “You’ll have to take it as I have an appointment at the radio station with Brent’s boss.”

  “Oh yeah. I forgot about that. Charlotte had all the final reports sent over this morning by the way. You might want to take a look. I think she emailed them too.” Mike nodded toward a stack of files.

  “You got a picture of the new kid and what’s his name?”

  “It’s ah…Logan Mitchell. Nice looking kid. They were kinda freaked out about it.”

  “Freaked out?”

  Mike laughed as he rolled his eyes. “Yeah. They kind alluded they saw him once after he’d disappeared but he wasn’t the same kid.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning they said the kid looked well…dead.” Mike burst out laughing. “If you ask me I think the mother’s been drinking a lot.”

  For some reason the words sent a shiver down his spine. Dead? Jax stared at the picture and frowned. He had seen the kid before. The face was regal and yet held such an air of innocence and it was the nearly perfect baby blue eyes that really set him apart.

  “What is it?”

  “I know I’ve seen him before. I can’t tell you whether it was from one of the pictures at Aleks’ place or from the club but make sure and ask the parents what the kid did and ask them if they saved any records from when he came back as to where he might have been working. I’ll ask Aleks about it tonight when I see him as well. There’s something odd about this though Mike. I can feel it. Tomorrow we’ll sort this out.” When Mike hadn’t said anything for several minutes he finally looked up. “What? What’s wrong?”

  Mike looked around and turned back. “You got a date with Aleks tonight?”

  The question caught Jax off guard. “It’s something I’m working on for the case. It’s something I don’t want you involved in. I should’ve told you that I have an idea but, I honestly want to do this by myself.”

  “You haven’t told the Sergeant anything either, have you?”

  “No and I don’t plan on it until this is done. I don’t see any other way. The killer is taunting us with the pictures and how he’s choosing his victims.”

  “You’re
putting your life in danger Jax and your career. Hiding information about those pictures is one thing but going out on your own like a rogue cop is borderline insane. You look like hell and I can tell something is seriously wrong with you. Let alone the fact Amanda called me after you left her house. Said you almost had a mental breakdown last night and wanted to make sure I watch out over you. You’re almost literally in bed with the only person who is linked to these murders and you’re not telling anyone what you’re doing. You know I should turn you in for this.”

  Jax rubbed his eyes and walked closer to his partner. How could he tell him anything about what was happening to him? “We’ve been partners long enough, Mike and I took to heart everything you said the other day. There’s something going on really weird here. My gut tells me. I’m asking you for forty-eight hours to see if I can deal with it. It’s like I have a chance to right a wrong. If I can’t get a handle on it by then, I’ll come clean with all of it, okay?”

  Mike shook his head. “If I lose my job over this I’m gonna be pissed buddy. I’ll give you forty-eight hours but I’m telling you, if you haven’t figured this shit out by then I’m going to arrest the faggot little artist myself. You and I both know he’s the key here and your soft cell approach hasn’t worked real well up to this point.”

  “I think the killer is restless and this entire situation is going to come to a head in these two days. That’s all I can tell you. Go see Logan’s parents and if you find out that he worked at Dark Towers or had anything to do with Aleks period, then call me. I have a feeling that kid got in way over his head and was forced to disappear.”