Gates of Paradise

by V. C. Andrews

  Winnerrow."

  "Oh, ya poor child," she said, her eyes

  softening, even glazing over with tears. I never had

  realized how warm and loving Aunt Fanny could be.

  "Ya think I care. Be all the burden ya hafta be and

  don't worry yerself about it. We're family, no matter

  what anyone says."

  "What do you mean, Aunt Fanny?"

  "I don't mean nothin'. Let me get yer clothes on

  ya."

  She helped me dress, and Luke returned with

  the wheelchair. He lifted me out of the bed as if I were

  a precious baby and slowly lowered me into the chair.

  It felt good and secure being in his arms. Then he

  began to wheel me out of the room.

  I looked back at the canopy bed, the vanity

  table and dressers, the bedroom that was supposed to

  be a warm and wonderful place for me, my mother's

  old room.

  How sad it was that this suite had been turned

  into a room filled with nightmares. The bed had

  become my cage, the bathroom and hot tub my torture

  chamber. I truly felt like one escaping a prison. All the magic and wonder of Farthy was just something Luke and I had imagined, a child's dream. Reality was

  much harder and crueler.

  I saw the same disappointment in Luke's face

  when I looked back at him as we moved down the

  corridor. He saw the cobwebs, the dead chandelier

  bulbs, the faded carpet, scuffed walls, and the old

  faded curtains over the large windows, keeping the

  hallways dark and dank.

  I directed Luke to take me to the elevator chair.

  "It will make it all easier."

  "Now Annie, ya sure ya know how ta work that

  damn thing? I sure don't want any accidents occurrin'

  here and give that Tony Tatterton a chance ta come

  after us with I told ya so's."

  "It's easy, Aunt Fanny."

  I slid over into the seat and strapped myself in

  firmly. Then I pressed the down button and the chair

  began its descent.

  "Well, I'll be darned. Look it, Luke. We're goin'

  ta hafta git one for Hasbrouck House right quick." "Company name's right on the chair," Luke

  said. He took a pen out of his top pocket and jotted it

  down. Luke was always prepared, always the student. "How has college been, Luke?"

  "Ifs been okay, Annie," he said, walking along

  with me as the chair moved down the stairway. "But

  I've made a new decision."

  "Oh?"

  "I'm withdrawing from summer school. I don't

  need to start yet, anyway."

  "Withdrawing? Why?"

  "To spend the rest of the summer home with

  you, helping you to recuperate," he said, smiling. "Oh, Luke, you shouldn't." The chair came to a

  halt at the bottom and I slid over into the awaiting

  wheelchair.

  "There's no sense arguing about it, Annie. My

  mind's made up," he said with a stern, determined air. I knew it was selfish of me, but I was happy,

  thrilled that he had made that decision.

  "And what does Aunt Fanny have to say about

  it?"

  "She's happy I'm going to be around awhile

  longer. My mother's different, Annie. You'll see. The

  tragedy has turned her into a responsible person. I'm

  really proud of her."

  "I'm glad, Luke."

  "Miss Annie," someone called, and we paused

  at the front door. It was Rye Whiskey coming from

  the kitchen.

  "Rye. It's Rye Whiskey, Luke. The cook." "Y'all goin' home, Miss Annie?"

  "Yes, Rye. This is my aunt Fanny and my

  cousin Luke. They've come to fetch me."

  "Tha's good, Miss Annie," he said without

  hesitation. Aunt Fanny nodded because someone else

  confirmed her suspicions and decisions. "I wasn't able

  ta make ya anythin' special no ways with that nurse

  hoverin' over my shoulder while she was here, and

  now . ."

  "I know, Rye. Fm sorry."

  "Tha's all right. Y'all come back when yer fixed

  up agin, and make ya the best meal this side of

  paradise."

  "I'll take you up on that, Rye."

  His face grew serious again.

  "Them spirits didn't stay away neither, did they,

  Miss Annie?"

  "I guess not, Rye."

  He nodded and looked at Aunt Fanny. "What's he been drinkin'? Lawd, what a place." "Only drinks to prevent snakebite, miss." "Is that so?"

  Rye's eyes twinkled.

  "Yes, ma'am, and it works cause I never been

  bit." "Let's go, Luke," Aunt Fanny said and nodded

  toward the front door. Luke opened it, but just as he

  came back to push me out, we heard Tony's scream.

  All of us turn to look up the stairway. He was

  standing at the top, holding his fist high.

  "You take that girl out of this house and you're

  responsible for whatever happens. I've already called

  her doctor. He's enraged."

  "Well, you jist tell him ta go see a doctor

  himself, then," Aunt Fanny said, and chuckled at her

  own reply. Without further hesitation, she waved

  Luke forward and he started to wheel me out of the

  house.

  "Stop!" Tony shouted. He came charging down

  the stairway.

  "That man's loco," Aunt Fanny muttered. "Stop," he repeated, approaching us. "You can't

  take her from here. She's mine."

  "Yours?" Aunt Fanny started to laugh

  disdainfully.

  "She is mine! She is!" He took a deep breath

  and made a desperate confession. "She's really my

  granddaughter, not my step-granddaughter. It's part of

  why your mother ran from here," he said, directing

  himself to rue, "when she found out . . ."

  "Found out what, Tony?" I turned my chair

  around to face him.

  "Found out that Leigh and I . . her mother and I

  . . . Heaven was my daughter, not Luke's."

  "Good Gawd," Aunt Fanny said, stepping back. "It's true. I'm ashamed of what I did, but not

  ashamed to have you as my real granddaughter,

  Annie. And you are. Don't you see? You belong here

  with me, with your real grandfather," he pleaded. I stared up at him. Now what had happened last

  night made sense. No wonder he had called me Leigh

  when he came to my bed. He was reliving his affair

  with her, an affair he had in this house while she was

  only a girl!

  "And so what happened last night really

  happened before," I concluded aloud.

  "What happened last night?" Aunt Fanny asked,

  coming forward.

  "I'm sorry for what happened last night, Annie.

  I got confused."

  "Confused?" All the times that he had kissed

  me, touched me, yesterday when he bathed me and I

  saw him behind me, his lips nearly on my neck . . . all

  of it came back, and suddenly all of it was ugly, lustful. I felt nauseated. I could barely think, I felt so defiled, so humiliated. My mind was an echo chamber of screams and shouts. "You're disgusting," I screamed. "No wonder Mommy ran from this house and wanted nothing more to do with you." Then a horrible realization occurred to me. He seemed to anticipate what I was about to say. I could see it in his eyes, in the way he widened them and stepped back. "Did you get confused with my mother, too?
Was that

  the real reason she left you and Farthy?"

  "No, I . . it wasn't my fault." He looked to Luke

  arid Fanny in hope that they would somehow come to

  his rescue, but they were gaping at him with the same

  look of horror and disgust. "You can't hate me. I can't

  live through all that again, Annie. Please, forgive me.

  I didn't mean . . ."

  "Didn't mean? Didn't mean what? To get my

  grandmother pregnant? So that's why she left Farthy

  and her mother. You drove her away, just as you

  drove Mommy away and just as you have driven me

  away." My words pounded like nails into a coffin, He

  turned white and shook his head. "You wanted to

  possess me like. . . like that portrait of Mommy on the

  wail," I said, nodding. "That's why you lied when you

  told me you had called Luke. You never called him, never mailed the letter. You wanted to imprison me

  here!"

  "I only did what I did because I love you and

  need you. Ybu are the true heir of Farthioggale and all

  that goes with it. You belong here. I won't let you go,"

  he yelled.

  "Oh yes you will," Luke said, stepping between

  us. My Luke, my gallant prince coming to my rescue,

  fighting off the evil wizard of our fantasies. Fate had

  made it all true.

  Tony stopped his approach as Luke stared him

  down.

  "Let's get outta here, Luke honey," Aunt Fanny

  said, and Luke took hold of my chair again, turning

  me toward the door.

  "Annie," Tony called, "please . . ."

  Aunt Fanny opened the door and Luke pushed

  me out.

  "ANNIE!" Tony bellowed. "ANNIE!

  HEAVEN! OH, HEAVEN, NO . . ."

  Fanny shut the door behind us to close off his

  horrible cry. I put my hands over my ears. Luke used

  the ramp to get me to the awaiting car.

  "You kin sit up front if ya want to, Annie." "I want to," I said.

  Luke opened the door and then lifted me from

  the chair. I rested my head against his chest as he put

  me ever so gently onto the seat.

  "Might as well take this wheelchair along,

  Luke. No sense in lettin' it rot away with everythin'

  else here."

  Luke folded it and placed it in the car trunk.

  Aunt Fanny got into the backseat and Luke got behind

  the steering wheel.

  Luke headed the car down the driveway. "Luke, Aunt Fanny, before we go, I'd like to

  stop at the monument. Please."

  "Of course, Annie."

  Luke made the turn and drove to the Tatterton

  family cemetery. He brought the car as close to the

  monument as he could and I looked out my window.

  Night had fallen, but the moon cast enough of its

  yellow illumination over the cemetery for me to see. "Good-bye for now, Mommy and Daddy. Rest

  in peace. Someday soon I'll return and walk to your

  monument."

  "You surely will," Aunt Fanny said, and patted

  me on the shoulder.

  Luke squeezed my hand. I turned to him to soak

  in the warmth and the love in his smile.

  "Let's go home, Luke," I said.

  As we pulled away I looked back and caught

  sight of Troy Tatterton stepping out of the forest from

  where I was certain he had observed my entire

  departure. He lifted his hand gently to wave. I waved

  back. "Who ya wavin' at, Annie?"

  "No one, Aunt Fanny . no one."

  Part 3 TWENTY-ONE Homecoming

  . I was too excited to sleep on the airplane. Luke and I sat beside each other near a window, and Aunt Fanny sat in front of us. I was so happy to see Luke, I couldn't take my eyes off him, and from the way he was looking at me, I knew he felt the same way.

  "Pinch me and tell me this isn't a dream, Luke. Tell me you're really with me again."

  "It's no dream," he said, smiling.

  "I dreamt it so often and so hard that it still

  seems that way to me," I confessed. For the first time that I could remember, when I expressed my need and love for him, I didn't blush, nor did he look away. Our eyes fixed on each other. He put his hand over mine and squeezed it gently. Everything in me cried out for him, urged me to say more. I wanted him to embrace me, to hold me tenderly and kiss me.

  "Annie, I worried about you day and night. I couldn't concentrate on anything in college. Everyone was trying to get me to go to parties, to meet people, but my heart was too heavy to appreciate or enjoy anything. I spent a lot of time in my dormitory room composing letters to you."

  "Letters I never got!" It filled me with such anger. If only I had received his letters, my dark and desperate days would have been bright and hopeful.

  "I know that now, but I couldn't understand why you weren't trying to reach me, weren't calling or sending messages somehow. I thought . . ." He looked down.

  "What did you think, Luke? Please, tell me," I begged.

  "I thought that once you entered the rich world at Farthy, you had forgotten about me, that Tony had surrounded you with so many distractions, brought so many new people for you to meet, that I wasn't important to you any longer. I'm sorry, Annie; I'm sorry I had those thoughts," he apologized.

  My heart swelled to know he felt the same way I did.

  "Oh no, Luke. I can understand why you thought them, for I thought them of you as well," I admitted eagerly.

  "You did?" I nodded, and he smiled. "Then you cared, really cared?"

  "Oh, Luke, you can't imagine how much I missed you, missed hearing your voice. I replayed it over and over in my mind, remembering the nice things you said to me in the past. Just thinking about you and the things you have done in your life despite all obstacles gave me hope and encouragement." I smiled. "I went directly for those tall mountains."

  "I'm so happy I was some help to you even though I wasn't there beside you."

  "Well, you were, and I dreamt and dreamt of us on the gazebo again."

  "Me, too," he said, a slight blush coloring his cheeks. I knew it was harder for him to make these revelations than it was for me. Other men might think him soft, even immature. "While I was alone there in my dormitory room, I would imagine us together again the way we were on our eighteenth birthday. I wished we could be frozen into that day forever and forever. Oh, Annie," he said, his hand more firmly around mine, "I don't know how I am going to ever leave you again."

  "I don't want you, too, Luke," I whispered. We were so close now, our lips nearly grazed each other's. Aunt Fanny laughed at something she was reading in a magazine and we sat back again. Luke looked out the window and I let my head fall back against the seat and closed my eyes. Luke didn't let go of my hand, and I felt safe, secure, protected and sheltered once again.

  I was excited when the plane finally landed, but after we got into Aunt Fanny's car at the airport in Virginia, I fell asleep and slept most of the way back to Winnerrow. By the time I opened my eyes, we were in the hill country, steadily climbing, winding around and around. There was no fast expressway to take us up into the Willies. Soon the gasoline stations became more widely spaced. The grand new sprawling motels were replaced by little cabins tucked away in shadowy dense woods. Shoddy, unpainted little buildings heralded yet another country town off the beaten track, until those, too, were left behind.

  Aunt Fanny had fallen asleep in the rear seat. We had soft music on the radio. Luke had to keep his eyes on the road ahead, but he wore a smile of contentment. He looked so much more mature to me. The tragedy had aged and changed us both, I thought, even in ways we were yet to discover.

  Seeing the fami
liar countryside filled me with a warm and secure feeling. I wondered if Mommy had felt the same way when she had fled Farthy with Drake because ofthe things Tony Tatterton had done. The world outside of the Willies and Winnerrow must have looked as hard and as cold and as cruel to her as it now did to me.

  "Almost there," Luke announced softly. "We're almost back in our world, Annie."

  "Oh, Luke, we thought escaping it, going to a fantasy place, would be more wonderful, but nothing is more wonderful than home, is it?" I asked him.

  "Not as long as you're part of it, Annie," he said, and reached over to take my hand. When our fingers touched, they entwined tightly, for neither of us wanted to let go. My heart pounded with happiness.

  He saw the look on my face, and his face suddenly became very serious. He sensed how deep my feelings were, and I saw that his were just as deep. It troubled him, I knew, because we were both surrendering to how we felt rather than paying heed to who we were.

  "I can't wait to see Hasbrouck House," I whispered.

  "Soon, soon."

  Mile by mile I was growing more and more impatient, more excited. Finally we came upon the broad green fields on the outskirts of Winnerrow, neat farms with fields of corn soon to be harvested. The little farmhouses were all lit up, the families living within them gathered together in the warm glow of lamps. I nearly squealed with delight when I saw the lights of the shacks of the coal miners dotting the hills. They looked like stars that had fallen but had kept their brightness,

  And then we entered Winnerrow proper and drove onto Main Street. To the very end we went, passing all the pastel homes of the richest, backed by the lesser homes of the middle class, the ones who worked in the mines, holding down overseer or manager positions.

  I closed my eyes when we turned down the street that led to Hasbrouck House. In moments I would be home, but it would be a different home without Mommy and Daddy. I knew that when we pulled into the driveway neither Mommy nor Daddy would be there to greet us . . . no smiles, no warm kisses, no hugs and loving welcomes. The reality washed over me like a giant, powerful wave in the ocean. I couldn't escape from it or hold it back. My mother and father were dead and buried back at Farthy. I was still an invalid. None of it had been a dream.

  "Well, thank Gawd we're here," Aunt Fanny drawled as we drove up to the house. "Beep yer horn, Luke, so the servants know."

  "Annie doesn't have that much, Ma."

  "Jist beep the horn."

  She got out quickly and came around to open my door. I just sat there looking up at the house, at the tall white pillars and large windows. I inhaled the scent of the magnolias and for a moment I felt like a little girl again, being brought home from one of our family vacations at the beach, and just as they did then, the servants gathered together and came out the front door to greet us.