Having You Is Never Enough

by E. L. Todd

  “And you didn’t need to have sex with me in front of them to prove it.” I smiled at him from the couch.

  “We can still make a video…just for us.” He leaned over the back of the couch and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Then he sprinkled warm kisses on my neck, nuzzling me and making me melt.

  “That sounds like fun.”

  He stilled then moved his mouth to my ear. “Seriously?”

  “As long as you don’t show anyone.”

  “Trinity, where have you been all my life?” He kissed my neck again.

  I chuckled. “Right in front of you, actually.”

  “I need to have my eyes checked.”

  “You do.” He pulled away then walked around the couch. “How was your day?”

  “Boring, like always.”

  He sat beside me then rested his hand on my thigh. “My day is always boring when you aren’t in it.”

  Slade came over every single day and slept over every single night. He was never at his apartment until it was to grab something or play his guitar. “I can only imagine how dirty your apartment is.”

  “Actually, it’s clean. But that’s because I’m never there,” he said with a laugh. “What did you want to do this weekend? We can head to Boston and go to the movies or play some laser tag.”

  I forgot to mention I wouldn’t be here. “Actually, I’m going home.”

  “What?” He sounded devastated. “Why?”

  “I’m meeting that designer, remember?”

  “Oh.” His eyes fell in sadness. “I remembering you mentioning it.”

  “I’ll be back Sunday night.”

  He sighed. “You’ll be gone all weekend?” Depression was noticeable in his eyes and voice.

  It thrilled me that he needed me so much, that he was attached to me like I was to him, that I was the single person he wanted to spend all his time with. “Yeah, it’ll be over before you know it.”

  “But I love spending the weekend with you.” He pressed his face close to mine. “I look forward to it all week.”

  “I know…I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too.” His hand rubbed my thigh, making me feel warm.

  “You’re welcome to stay here while I’m gone.”

  “It does smell like you…and remind me of you.”

  “You practically live here anyway,” I teased.

  “Only because you make me not want to leave.”

  “It’s my cooking,” I said with a laugh.

  His eyes narrowed in seriousness. “No, it’s not.” His hand left my thigh then moved into my hair, fisting it. Then he gave me a breathtaking kiss, making my lips burn and my body ache. His mouth did tantalizing things to me, making me yearn for his touch.

  His kiss was slow and gentle, like it usually was. When this arrangement began, his kiss was crushing and aggressive. He devoured me like he was starving. But now he took his time, knowing I would always be there to cherish. There was no rush to reach home plate because visiting each base was so satisfying.

  Slade breathed into my mouth while he felt the soft strands of my hair. His other arm scooped me and held me close. Then he lifted me from the couch and carried me into my bedroom.

  When my back hit the sheets, I tried not to cry out in pain. I needed him so much, then and there. He moved away to undress but I yanked him back, needed to feel his mouth on mine.

  Slade’s hands moved to my dress and he slowly peeled it away. He was taking his time but I was anxious for him, wanting to feel him stretch me like he had hundreds of times. But I wanted to feel us connect, to soak him up until I had to leave.

  When my dress was off, he gently removed my bra and panties. He normally stole my underwear and kept them in a pile in his underwear drawer. But lately he’d been tossing them aside and forgetting them. When my bra was off, his mouth sucked each nipple, doing it hard enough to make my moan but soft enough to make me want more.

  His face moved between my legs and his tongue did things that I loved. We’d been sleeping together for so long that he knew exactly what I liked and what I loathed. But someone, that repetitiveness never got old. Every time we were together, it was good, never mediocre or horrible. Our chemistry was volatile and explosive. Every touch and caress sent me to the edge.

  When his lips found mine again, I quickly fidgeted with his jeans, trying to get them off as quickly as possible. His cock was long and hard, ready for me. When his hand moved between my legs, he knew I was just as ready for him. After I got his shirt off, we were both bare.

  My head moved onto the pillow as he separated my legs and moved on top of me. Automatically, I gripped his biceps and stared up at his perfectly handsome face. His eyes burned in dark fire and his lips were slightly open, the excitement evident. His cock found my entrance and moved inside easily.

  A loud moan escaped my lips once he was sheathed. I bit my lips then gripped his arms at the same time, treasuring how good he felt.

  Slade kept his body suspended over me and he remained still after he was inside me. His lips found mine and he kissed me gently. He sucked my bottom lip before he stopped then looked into my eyes. He stared at me, looking into my soul that ha been hidden for so long. Slade saw me for who I was, saw all of me, every piece of me. The stare was so profound I feared he knew every secret that I kept.

  Holding my gaze, he started to move. His breathing came out deep and shallow, His thrusts were gentle and even. His pace implied he wanted it to last a long time. I was so eager to feel him and now I never wanted to leave.

  Slade didn’t seem to be enjoying it like he usually did. All he seemed to care about was looking at me. His eyes bore into mine, speaking to me in a way I couldn’t understand. Our minds were connected in a profound way and I always knew what he was thinking. But this time I didn’t.

  He placed a kiss on my forehead as he kept moving. Then he brought his gaze back to mine.

  My heart burned and ached at the same time. No one had ever moved inside me like this before. No one had ever been gentle or warm. All I’d ever known was fast sex that was heavy and sweaty. All I’d ever known was a guy eager to get off. All Slade wanted was to feel to me, to touch me, to be with me.

  The revelation hit me hard and fast. This was the first time someone made love to me, the first time someone looked at me the way he did. Our soul connected in a solid way. Our hearts beat in sync as our bodies moved together. The knowledge was overwhelming. I tried to keep the tears back but I couldn’t. When I tried to bury my face in his neck he wouldn’t let me.

  “Look at me.” His face was pressed to mine while he continued his even strokes.

  I didn’t want him to see me like this, to see the obvious need I had for him. I didn’t want him to know the depth of my feelings, the fondness I held for a man I once hated. It was weak and humiliating. My cards had fallen out of my hands and he could see every single one of them.

  “Look at me, baby.”

  My eyes had been closed, wanting to stop the tears. His gentle voice carried his command but also his patience. Knowing he would see every thought in my eyes, I opened them.

  Slade’s eyes were red and wet, mirroring the same emotion that thudded in my heart. He didn’t seem embarrassed by it or ashamed. He’d been vulnerable and open with me countless times but not like this. He kissed my tears away while he moved inside me, clinging to me like he needed me now and forever. “I feel like it too…”

  ***

  Slade stowed my bags in the trunk then made sure my car was good on oil and brake fluid. “You should get there in one piece.”

  “I didn’t know you knew anything about cars.”

  “I know a little bit about everything.” He wiped his hands off then faced me. Judging the sadness in his eyes, he didn’t want to say goodbye. I was only going to be gone for two days but that seemed like an eternity to both of us. “A storm is coming in so drive safely.”

  “I always do.”

  His arms moved around
my waist. “Can you text me when you get there?”

  I would never get used to how much our relationship had changed. Slade said he would never change for me, that he didn’t do the girlfriend thing, but he was being the boyfriend I always dreamed of. “Yeah.”

  “Thank you.” He kissed my forehead then brought his face back to me. “Have fun. I know how excited you are to meet your idol.”

  “And nervous.”

  “You’ll be fine, baby. Just be yourself.”

  “But you’ve said countless times that I’m annoying.” I had a smirk on my face.

  “You are. But I like it when you’re annoying.” He cupped my face and kissed me, making me not want to go even more. Was this how Skye felt every time Cayson wasn’t around? Did her heart hurt like this? I wished I could ask her.

  He pulled away and gave me a final look. “I’ll miss you.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and his eyes glossed over for a moment. It was like he wanted to say something else but the words wouldn’t come out.

  “I’ll miss you too.”

  “I meant what I said about being careful. It’s going to pour.”

  “I promise I will be cautious.”

  That seemed to assuage his fears. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  “Okay.”

  He kissed my cheek before he opened the driver’s door. After I was inside, he shut it then stood back, his hands in his pockets.

  I backed out of the driveway and headed down the street. He didn’t wave goodbye. Instead, he watched me leave, a sad look on his face. When I rounded the corner and couldn’t see him, the image was still engraved into my mind.

  I had the sensation to cry but I wasn’t sure why. Being without him for two days wasn’t worth getting upset over. But for some reason, I was upset. I was almost distraught.

  Was that normal?

  ***

  When I walked in the house, I smelled dinner on the air. It was a pot roast that had simmered for hours. The carrots and potatoes added to the aroma in the air.

  “I’m home!”

  My dad came out of the kitchen. “My girl is here.” He immediately pulled me into his arms for a bear hug. “You made it okay?”

  “Yeah. There wasn’t any traffic.”

  “Good.” He pulled away and gave me a warm look. “I’m excited you’re here.”

  “Me too.”

  Gratitude shined in his eyes. I knew he was grateful I gave him another chance after the episode with Reid. The relationship I had with my father was special and rare. I cherished it and so did he.

  “Where’s my baby?” My mom came to me then hugged me fiercely. “You get more beautiful every time I see you. How do you manage that?”

  I shrugged. “I guess it must be my hair.”

  She chuckled then pulled away. “I made your favorite for dinner.”

  “I know. I can smell it.”

  She touched a strand of soft hair and felt it in her fingertips. “It’s so long. I love it.”

  “Thanks. My mom and I looked so similar it was frightening. She was exactly how I imagined I would appear when I aged. She was younger than my father, but she still looked young. She was always carded every time she ordered a drink, and I couldn’t count the number of times someone mistook her for my sister. She had emerald green eyes that flashed when she was upset or happy. Her blonde hair was naturally bright and straight. It took an hour with a curling iron to get any bounce to it. But my mother was beautiful, as I’d been told often, and it wasn’t the end of the world to look like her. My father and I hardly resembled each other, but since he was an enormous beast, that wasn’t a bad thing.

  “I’ll put your bags in your room,” my dad offered. “Then we’ll get down to dinner.”

  ***

  I was nervous to meet Cavos. What did a college girl like me have to say to someone like him? He probably dreaded coming to this meetings, had only done it because my father bought him out, and I had the assumption he was a pretentious jerk. But since he was a fashion genius, I guess I couldn’t be too harsh on him.

  I’d never seen him in my life but I recognized him the moment he walked inside the coffee shop.

  Wearing a silver jacket with sparkles, gold chains around his neck, and black pants that were tighter than my own, he turned every head in the room. He held himself like he was being photographed at every second, but he gazed around the room like he owned it and everyone inside it. When he spotted me, his eyes narrowed. After examining me, he approached my table and sat down.

  “Cavos.” That was all he said. He didn’t shake my hand or offer a polite hug.

  I cleared my throat. “Trinity.”

  He nodded but didn’t say any pleasantries.

  This was going to be more difficult than I thought. “How did you recognize me?”

  “Your father showed me a photo album in his wallet.” He adjusted the white scarf around his throat. “It would weigh a lot less if he took all those pictures out.”

  My dad only had a few credit card and cash. The rest was filled with pictures of me, my mom, and Conrad. I wasn’t sure why. It’s not like he showed pictures of us to everyone he saw on the street. “He’s just…sentimental.”

  “He’s a brute with a heart…an unlikely find.”

  Were all his comments vague like that?

  “Thank you for meeting with me today. You’re such an inspiration—”

  “I know.”

  “And I love your work—”

  “Yeah, I know.” He crossed his legs and looked out the window like he was bored.

  Wow…this guy was a dick.

  I decided to push through it. “I had a few questions for you if you don’t mind asking.”

  He looked at his diamond watch. “Out with it. I only have an hour.”

  I flipped through my sketchbook. “How did you get started in the business?”

  “You could find that answer on Google, silly girl. Don’t waste my time and yours asking things you could easily research. Perhaps you should do your homework next time.” He didn’t look at me once.

  The sassy side of me was starting to emerge. But I held it back, knowing pissing off one of the biggest celebrities in the fashion world wasn’t exactly smart. “How did you start your fashion line? What steps did you take?”

  “Now that’s a better question.” He held up his finger in the air. “I’m going to tell you something that you probably already know. Hard work and skill mean absolutely nothing. The only thing that matters is who you know. You probably understand that better than anybody.”

  What did that mean?

  “For instance, we wouldn’t be speaking if your father wasn’t one of the wealthiest men in the world. So, if you want to build your fashion line, you need to get to know people and network. Take internships even if they are unpaid. Knowing people is more important than anything else you could offer. And then the path will be laid out before you.”

  He was harsh and rude but at least he was honest. I scribbled a few notes down before I moved onto my next question. Clearly agitated the entire time, he answered every question, but it was clear he had no interest in my career or what I had to offer. To him, I was just a young girl with a rich father, like so many New Yorkers.

  By the end of the meeting, he was in a rush to get out. “Good luck with your career but don’t expect to succeed.”

  Uh, thanks? “It was nice meeting you.”

  “Bon Voyage.” He glided out.

  Wait, he’s not even French. I watched him walk out and cut in front of people as he made his way to his limo. When he looked at people on the street, his face was contorted in a look of disgust. It was clear he thought everyone else was inferior to him, that he walked on air while the rest of us walked on dirt.

  I promised myself then and there I would be nothing like him. That if I ever did become a fashion idol, someone’s guru, I would always be down-to-earth, polite, and sweet to everyone who showed me the same respect. But I knew that
decision had already been made by watching my father. He treated his employees like family, giving the dignity of competitive salaries with benefits, and more time off than any other company in the country. He was my role model. I may admire Cavos for his genius in fashion, but my father would always be the man I looked up to.

  ***

  My dad met me in the entryway as soon as I walked inside. “How’d it go, Trin?”

  I shrugged. “Alright, I guess. Cavos is a little…”

  “Annoying?” My dad smirked. “I guess I should have warned you beforehand.”

  “He was just so rude and arrogant. And he treated everyone like they were less than him. I respect his talent but not him as a person. He just rubbed me the wrong way.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “The more famous you become and the money you have tends to make you an arrogant asshole.”

  “But you aren’t like that,” I said immediately.

  He shrugged. “Your grandpa raised us right. Not many people have an incredible role model like that.”

  “I do…”

  His eyes shined in adoration.

  “I don’t know what I’m doing with my life but I’m going to do something. And I want to be generous and compassionate like you and Uncle Sean. I want to show humility and be humble. If I ever turn into a jerk like him, slap some sense into me.”

  “I know I’ll never have to.” He pulled me into a hug then kissed me on the forehead. “I’m proud of you. You’ve become such a strong and independent woman and it was so easy for me. I didn’t even have to do anything.”

  “I think I was just raised in the right environment, with good role models.”

  “I think you get most of those things from your mother. She’s the strongest person I know.”

  I nodded. “She is pretty cool.”

  “But I’m cooler,” he teased. “I know martial arts and boxing. She just does yoga and Cross Fit.”

  “I’d like to see you do yoga,” I argued. “You wouldn’t survive.”

  “I’m definitely not flexible.” He flexed his arm. “Too much muscle.”

  I rolled my eyes. “So full of yourself.”

  He chuckled. “I guess all the compliments your mom gives me go straight to my head.”