Meant To Be (The Callahans Book 4)

by Monica Murphy

  “True.”

  “Besides, I’m already wearing his number.” I pull the pendant out from beneath my hoodie and let it hang there. “I guess that’s good enough, right? I don’t need a jersey to prove anything.”

  Ellie glances over at me, then does a doubletake. “Where did you get that?”

  “It’s Eli’s.” I rub my fingers against the warm metal, surprised at myself that I never told her about the necklace. “When he and Jake got into a fight in our yard, Jake tore it off. I don’t even think he knew that. I found it on the ground after he left. The chain is mine, though. I like wearing it. I feel like I can always keep him close to me this way.”

  “Aww.” Ellie smiles. “That’s so romantic.”

  “And silly.” I’m a little embarrassed by what I just confessed; I can’t help it.

  “Not silly,” Ellie says with a firm shake of her head. “You’re in love with him.”

  Giddiness rises inside me, making me grin. “I am. So much.”

  “You’ve had sex with him since that first time.” She states this as fact.

  “Yes, definitely,” I say with a wistful sigh.

  “And it was good.”

  “Good doesn’t even begin to describe it.”

  “I forgot to ask you,” Ellie says. “But did it hurt the first time?”

  “Yes. A little. More like a pinch. I was sore the day after more than when we actually had sex,” I explain.

  “Hmmm.” Ellie says nothing else. And even though she’s driving and totally paying attention to the road, I can tell she’s lost in thought.

  “Are you thinking of someone specific right now, Ellie?”

  “What? No.” She says that way too quickly.

  “You sure about that?” I’m teasing her, because I have a feeling I know exactly who she’s thinking about. He’s playing in tonight’s game too.

  She sighs. “It’s Jackson.”

  “I want a complete update. And don’t leave out a single detail,” I tell her eagerly.

  “There’s nothing to update! Not really. We’re still talking a lot, but he never seems to want to take it to the next level,” she says, sounding a little whiny.

  “What’s the next level?”

  “I don’t know, actually talking to each other face to face?” Her voice raises, and I can tell she’s frustrated. Maybe even a little angry. “We chat all the time on Snap. He shares silly Tik Toks with me and I do the same. We have these long conversations where I feel like I actually know him, but he never asks me to do anything with him. Like, we never go grab coffee or go on an actual date or even just get together and do homework.”

  I crack up at that one and she sends me a dirty look, silencing me.

  “The way he acts makes me suspicious, and I hate it. Is he having long conversations like ours with other girls? Am I just one of many? It feels like that sometimes. Like I’m getting played. He has groupies, for God’s sake.” She shakes her head. “I can’t forget about his fan club. I wonder if I’m the president of his fan club.”

  “Last time at the party at the cabin, he seemed totally into you,” I remind her gently. “Maybe he’s just shy.”

  Ellie bursts out laughing. “If Jackson Rivers is shy, then so is Eli Bennett.”

  I laugh too, because Eli is the furthest thing from shy. He takes what he wants and never bothers asking for it most of the time. I’m guessing Jackson is similar. “Okay, okay. You’re right.”

  “Right. So maybe I don’t mean anything to Jackson. I’m just the girl he talks to when he’s lonely. The girl he’s embarrassed to be seen with.” Her voice is full of pain and my heart breaks for her.

  “Aw, Ellie.”

  “Don’t be sympathetic toward me right now, Ava. I might start crying.” She shakes her head, her expression tight. “I’d rather be mad.”

  “What if he tries to talk to you tonight?”

  “I’ll be polite.”

  “That’s it? You’ll be polite? Like, ‘how do you do, sir?’ type polite?” I’m giggling.

  Ellie giggles too. “I don’t know! More like, ‘don’t fucking look at me’ type polite,” she says viciously.

  Now we’re both full blown laughing, coming up with a variety of scenarios of how Ellie might act if Jackson talks to her. I’m hoping he does. I’m hoping he gets what’s coming to him after the game. I hope Ellie really gives it to him.

  And then I hope that Jackson falls madly in love with her when she speaks her mind and kisses her right there on the football field in front of everyone.

  Yeah. That’s what I really want to see.

  We’re sitting in the stands, an island of two among the sea of purple and gold surrounding us. They don’t sit too close because they know we don’t go there. Most of them must realize by now that I’m Eli Bennett’s girlfriend. I swear I hear the low murmurings of snotty remarks made by some of the girls. They can say whatever they want about me. I truly don’t care. And if they don’t watch it, I might come for them.

  Stupid right? But I do have a reputation now. One that is of me throwing fists at girls who piss me off.

  Jeez, who am I?

  The second quarter is almost over when a really good looking guy catches my and Ellie’s attention. We send each other a quick look before we play it cool, and I’m startled that he’s making his approach.

  In our direction.

  The guy heads up the steps, his gaze finding mine, and I realize he’s actually coming for us.

  He’s familiar. Hair a darker golden brown. Green eyes. Tall and lean yet muscular too. Very, very attractive. Older than me, older than all of us high schoolers in general.

  He’s got to be Eli’s brother.

  “You’re Eli’s girlfriend, aren’t you?” he says when he comes to a stop in front of us, standing in the next aisle.

  “And you’re his brother,” I say with a faint smile. “Ryan?”

  “That’s me. Ava?”

  I nod, gesturing toward Ellie. “And this is my friend, Ellie.”

  “Nice to meet you both.” He actually shakes our hands. What a gentleman. And when he smiles, I see Eli. They look very similar. You can definitely tell they’re brothers.

  But I think Eli’s better looking.

  “Can I sit with you for a while?” Ryan asks.

  “Sure.” Ellie scoots over and Ryan settles in between us. Whatever cologne he’s wearing smells really good and I’m pretty sure I just caught Ellie discreetly sniffing in his direction.

  “Are you having fun here tonight?” I ask him.

  “It’s kind of weird, coming back to your high school and watching your old football team play,” he answers. “I only went here for a year, you know.”

  “Oh, I didn’t realize that,” I say.

  “We moved here the summer before my senior year. I was kind of pissed about it at first, but I made friends pretty quickly and was accepted by everyone on the football team. Overall, it was a decent senior year. Slightly fucked up at times, but still good,” he explains with a little chuckle.

  I see he’s not afraid to drop f-bombs in front of me. Much like his brother.

  “Eli is a great player,” Ryan says as his gaze returns to the field. “He has a lot of potential. More than I ever did.”

  “I think so too.” I smile as I watch Eli out on the field, his deep voice ringing out as he makes his calls before they make their play. They’re winning tonight, thank God. “He doesn’t think he’s good enough to play in college.”

  “Why the hell not?” Ryan sounds outraged, and I appreciate that. It means he cares. “He totally can.”

  “Do you play for a college team?” Eli has never mentioned it before. Though he doesn’t talk much about his brother or his family.

  Ryan shrugs. “I played my freshman and sophomore year. Got benched for academic probation my junior year. Now I’m like, third string this year thanks to that. I get zero play time. It’s a bye week for us, so that’s why I decided to finally come down
and see my family.”

  “What team do you play for?”

  “University of Oregon.”

  Um, holy shit. That’s a PAC-12 team. They’re kind of a big deal. I let my gaze roam over Ryan again. He’s tall and muscular, but he’s not as big as you’d think he should be for college ball. Especially at U of O.

  “This is it,” he says dryly, sending me a sly look. “My last year playing football and I’m not going to see any game time unless we’re winning by a landslide and they let all of us losers loose on the field. Sucks. But I have no one to blame but myself so…”

  I can only offer him a sympathetic smile. There’s nothing else I can say or do to make him feel better. I wonder if their parents realize just how much their split has hurt their children? Eli suffers. It sounds like Ryan suffers too.

  “I was sitting with some old friends of mine, but I saw you and had a feeling you were Eli’s girl. He told me you’re a Badger,” Ryan says to me.

  Ellie laughs and looks around. “What clued you in?”

  “The fact that no one is sitting near you two?” Ryan laughs as well. The buzzer sounds and the boys jog off the field. The first half is officially done. “I’m going to head back over to my friends. It was nice meeting you both.”

  “Nice meeting you too,” I say, Ellie murmuring the same.

  Ryan rises to his feet, hesitating for a moment before he asks, “Did Eli tell you about our family dinner tomorrow night?”

  I frown. “No.”

  “Oh. I told him to invite you to come out to dinner with us tomorrow night. We’re going to Axis. I made a reservation at seven for five, so you’re more than welcome to come with us,” he says.

  I’m immediately put on guard. And the tiniest bit offended. Why didn’t Eli ask me? He never even mentioned it. “That sounds nice.”

  “Talk to Eli about it.” He smiles. Pats my head like I’m his pet. “See you tomorrow hopefully.”

  And then he’s gone.

  I say nothing for a while and neither does Ellie, until she looks like she can’t stand it any longer.

  “Are you mad Eli didn’t mention that family dinner invite?”

  I shrug. Try to act like it’s not bugging me. “Not really. He has his reasons.”

  “It felt like Ryan mentioned it just to rile you up.”

  I turn to look at her, my voice going low. “You really think so?”

  I felt the same way.

  “I don’t know.” Ellie’s got that contemplative look on her face. It’s the one she wears when she’s really thinking about something. “What he said was vaguely suspect.”

  “What’s suspicious is that Eli never mentioned it,” I say, my gaze narrowing. I can sort of understand why he didn’t say anything to me. I think he finds his family embarrassing. Maybe he doesn’t want to expose me to the toxic dynamics between them. He might think that’ll scare me away.

  Doesn’t he realize by now that nothing will scare me away from him? Well, something pretty freaking major would have to happen to send me running from him.

  I’m a little hurt he never said anything though. I sort of get it, but then again, I don’t. All I know is…

  My boyfriend has some explaining to do.

  Twenty-Seven

  Eli

  We won. I knew we would. The moment the buzzer sounded and the game was over, I ran over to Jackson and slapped the back of his helmet, roaring in his face like a maniac. He tore his helmet off and roared his approval in return, the both of us jumping up and down and bumping chests like a couple of macho dicks.

  We’re fuckin’ ridiculous, but I don’t care. I’m riding the win high. We’ve been on a streak since the Badger game, and I feel invincible. So does the rest of the team. I live for nights like this. Moments like this.

  Knowing my girl is up in the stands watching me play makes it even better. With Ryan up there too? I can’t help but feel like a god. On top of the world.

  “Not bad little brother,” Ryan says to me when he spots me on the field and makes his approach.

  He knocks me off my pedestal with those four words. Just like that. The motherfucker.

  I return his offered high five. “Thanks,” I say gruffly.

  Ryan pulls me into a quick hug, slapping my back. I remain stiff, pulling away from him as quickly as possible, no smile on my face, nothin’. I’m mad.

  Mad he’d make light of my win. Mad it took him this freakin’ long to show his face around here. Mad he doesn’t have to deal with any of our family shit on a daily basis while I still do.

  Yeah, that’s probably what makes me the angriest. The fact that he can walk away from this so easily, while I’m left behind having to pick up the pieces. Having to listen to my mom’s rants and my dad’s tirades and witness the stupid battles they’re always engaged in. Sometimes they put me in the middle of it, using me, trying to claim they want to make things better for me. It’s all a bunch of lies. It fucking sucks.

  And Ryan fucking sucks too for leaving me.

  “Aren’t you glad to see me?” he asks when I still haven’t said anything. “It’s good to see you. You’ve changed. You’re taller.”

  He tries to ruffle my hair like I’m fucking three, but I duck away from his touch. “Stop treating me like a little kid.”

  Ryan laughs. “Sorry. Didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

  I ignore his rude comment and turn my back on him, calling out to Brenden when I spot him only a few feet away.

  “Good job tonight,” I tell him as he walks over to me.

  “You too.” Brenden grins. “You going to Jackson’s later?”

  “Fuck yeah.” We’re actually partying at Jackson’s house tonight, versus going to the lake. I’m glad we don’t have to drive as far as we usually do, considering Jackson lives in the same neighborhood as me.

  His house is almost twice as big as mine. And usually, his dad and stepmom are always home. Not tonight though. They went out of town for the weekend.

  Party time.

  “Me too. I’ll see you there.” We slap hands and I watch as he walks over to the stands where Kayla’s waiting for him. Knowing full well Ryan is still behind me, standing there patiently.

  Finally I turn back around to find Ryan with his arms crossed and a pissed expression on his face. “If you didn’t want me to come to your game, you should’ve told me.”

  “I didn’t realize I had a choice,” I throw back at him.

  He drops his arms to the sides. “Look. I know you’re mad at me. And I suppose I can’t blame you. I left and I didn’t come back, but shit, do you blame me? This place is a shithole. Our parents are fucked up. Why would I want to come back?”

  “For me!” The words blast out of my mouth with so much force, Ryan takes a step back, like he can’t take it. “You bailed. You fucking ghosted me. Ghosted all of us! You left me behind to deal with them all alone!” I slap my hand against my chest, trying to drive my point home.

  “I came back for a reason. I’m trying to make amends,” he says, his voice calm, his expression completely blank. Looking nothing like the Ryan I used to know. “I’m trying to do right by you. And Mom and Dad.”

  “Your efforts are a little too late,” I mutter before I take off. I need to find Ava. I need to hold her and have her tell me everything’s going to be okay.

  This is some straight up bullshit.

  I stalk toward the stands, ignoring the remaining onlookers who offer me congratulations and tell me good job. I don’t say a word, too determined to find Ava. I don’t see her pretty little blonde head anywhere, and my chest grows tight.

  Did she not show up at all? Of course, she did. I saw her earlier. Couldn’t help but see her the entire game whenever I looked in the stands. And no way would she bail on me after the game. She’s not that cruel.

  Damn, do I have abandonment issues or what?

  I finally spot her standing in the middle of a circle of my teammates who are still out on the field, tagging a
long with her friend, Ellie. They’re talking to freaking Jackson.

  What the hell? How did I miss her?

  “Eli,” she says when she spots me. She leaves Ellie and comes running toward me, and I wrap her up in a hug, holding her close. “Congrats. You played amazing tonight.”

  “Thanks, babe.” I kiss her, my lips lingering. I wish I could keep kissing her, but she breaks away first, smiling up at me, her hands resting on my chest. Like she’s trying to hold me back. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Me too.” She frowns, her gaze searching my face. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m great. Never better.” I smile, but it’s more like a baring of teeth. Like I’m a wild fucking beast ready to tear into something, and right now, I sort of feel like one. “We won, so I’ve got no worries, right?”

  “Yeah, you guys won,” she says with a nod, a faint smile curling her lips, though I see the worry lingering in her eyes. “Jackson just mentioned he’s having a party at his house. He invited Ellie and I to go.”

  “I bet he wants Ellie at his house,” I say, making Ava laugh. “Do you want to go?”

  She shrugs. “I want to be wherever you are.”

  Relief smacks me right in the center of my chest. This is what I need. What I crave. Ava not caring where we’re at, as long as we’re together. She stands by my side no matter what.

  Unlike other people I know and who supposedly love me.

  “Let me change and then we’ll head out? You want to ride with me?”

  She nods. Smiles. Grabs hold of my hand and gives it a squeeze. “Definitely. I came with Ellie so I’ll need a ride home, too.”

  “Do you even need to go home?” I raise a brow. I’m sure I can sneak her into my house. Mom will be sleeping by the time we leave the party, and Muffin will be locked in her room. Ryan will be there too, but fuck that guy. I don’t care what he thinks. Or what he sees.

  “My parents think I’m staying the night at Ellie’s,” she says with a coy smile. “So I’m free all night.”

  “Meaning you’re mine all night.” I drop a quick kiss on her forehead. “Give me fifteen and I’ll be out. Maybe wait with Ellie in her car? I’ll come find you and then she can follow me to Jackson’s house.”