Semiramis The Vessel

by Maya Daniels

  I forgot he was here.

  “Human,” I tell him with my mind still reeling.

  “You keep saying ‘human’ like it’s an insult.” Philip shakes his head at me, rubbing his forehead with his fingers.

  “I feel human,” I clarify that I wasn’t insulting him but answering his rhetorical question.

  “What?” He looks taken aback.

  “I haven’t felt this way in my entire life. This fear of losing someone that I can’t say I fully have. It is not natural to me.” I trail off, my shoulders slumping. Taking a deep breath, I add, “I think it is making me feel human.”

  “Well, join the club of stupid men. Let me be the first to congratulate you. We really do it to ourselves, you know. Don’t worry, they’ll side with her. It’s what women do, but I’ll do my best to help you.” He looks at me with determination.

  “Help me do what? You can’t turn back time,” I tell him, defeated.

  “Grovel! I’ll help you grovel so badly that she’ll take pity on you. It’s your only option right now. Trust me on this one. I’ve been a stupid human man my whole life, so I’ve got you on experience there. Let’s go.” He slaps me couple of times on my back, and as foolish as his words sound, hope starts blooming in my chest. Summoning strength in my numb, rooted feet, I follow him towards my doom…or my salvation.

  33

  Alexia…

  The inside of the temple is no less awe-inspiring than the outside. I have no doubt right now that it was designed to be intimidating. The ceilings are so high it makes me feel like an insignificant speck of dust on the shiny marble floors.

  I look at Inanna from the corner of my eye. Unlike me, she doesn’t suffer from issues regarding her self-worth. Shoulders back, head held high—although her hair still looks wild like she has been trying to finger-comb it after our little drama outside—she strides in like she owns the place. I feel the difference between us by the way my shoulders are tense and up to my ears, because I expect an attack at any moment. I don’t want to act like a dumbass, though, so I do my best to relax and act normal. Well, as normal as I can. It’s not easy to forget that the damn gate took two people I love already. It doesn’t scream welcoming at all.

  Instead of getting stuck in my head, I watch the priest; he is not a ‘buddy,’ apparently. That thought makes me snicker under my breath, and Inanna looks at me sharply as if I’m a disobedient child. I sober up immediately and mouth out ‘sorry’ while she rolls her eyes. My eyes follow the bare back of the priest. His hair reaches down to the middle of his back in tiny braids that have little beads at the end, and they sway with his movement. Broad shoulders lead to a narrow waist and muscular thighs while he takes each step with purpose. Like any woman alive, I appreciate a good-looking man. I have eyes; I can’t help it. But looking at him now, I realize I can’t even appreciate that anymore. Lucifer’s body comes full frontal in my mind, uninvited, and it taunts me. It still bothers me—like a splinter—that he is just too perfect. If only he had a little scar or a freckle or something—anything, really. It would’ve made him more attainable, I think. At the moment he feels like something I should worship from afar. I’m too worried I’ll soil his beauty if I place a finger on him.

  I’m snapped out of my own thoughts by the priest stopping abruptly, because I almost collide with his back. I wasn’t even aware that I was walking so close to him, like some creep. A woman walks up to meet us and bows as she comes to stand next to him.

  “You will need to change to meet with the goddess. Follow me.” Her voice echoes off the tall walls around us almost like we are in a cave.

  “What’s wrong with how we look.” I frown, looking down at my jeans and t-shirt and then looking at Inanna with her dress. “We look fine.”

  The woman doesn’t give a damn. Like I haven’t spoken, she turns and starts walking diagonally towards the hall. I look at the priest, bewildered, only to see him staring me down with displeasure. What an asshole. I didn’t come here to play dress up. I bristle and am about to give him a piece of my mind when Inanna grabs me by the arm and starts dragging me after the woman. Apparently they have a rule in this realm called ‘drag Alexia around like a rag doll.’ I mean, what the fuck! I try to snatch my arm back, but she has a good grip on it, so I look even more ridiculous, because I truly resemble a child throwing a tantrum.

  “Keep walking. We will talk in the rooms,” she tells me, but doesn’t stop or release my arm.

  Like a petulant child, I purse my lips and follow her begrudgingly. The asshole priest smirks at me so I do what any self-respecting, mature adult woman would do: I stick my tongue out at him. Say goodbye to the smirk; it was gone in less than a second. I lift my nose in the air while I flip my hair. I’d rather not mention that it makes me stumble. It just ruins the dignified way I deal with situations. Since people started bowing to me, it’s important that I act ladylike. Right?

  So we walk and I stew in my own frustration with this stupidity of changing clothes just so I can ask how we can use the potions to open the portal and get to the tablets. Entering the hall, we pass many doors until we reach the end and face double doors big enough to let a giant walk through. They better have sensor doors, because I don’t think anyone can open these. As if she knew what I was thinking, the woman stops in the middle where the two doors meet and places each palm on one of them. Bowing her head, she whispers. “Hail Ishtar!”

  The doors swing open like it’s no big deal, revealing a room fit for…well, a goddess. Jewel-colored silks, pillows thrown around on the floor, magnificent big windows and furniture pieces I don’t even know the purpose of flood the room.

  “Really? Hail Ishtar is the key for our room?” I can’t help but say it.

  As before, I’m ignored, and the woman leaves us standing there.

  “I will be back when the goddess can see you. It will not be long,” she tells us and the doors close behind her.

  “What has gotten into you, Alexia?” Inanna whirls on me as soon as the doors are shut.

  “What? You don’t find this whole thing ridiculous? I mean, Meda and Faith are dead. Hello! Dead! The rest of them are who knows where. I won’t believe they are waiting for us until I see them with my own eyes. And here we are playing tea parties and dress ups. What the fuck is wrong with you people?” My volume raises with each word until I’m screaming at her by the end, breathing hard like some feral animal.

  “We are not people.”

  “No shit, you’re not people! A moron can see that you’re not!”

  “Calm down, Alexia…”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! How dare you? I have every fucking right to be angry and to hurt. They’re dead!”

  “I know, and I didn’t tell you not to hurt or not to be angry. Don’t forget that you are in a realm of one of the gods, and you are here because you need her help. Do you really want to show weakness that she can use so she can bargain with you? Think about what you are doing.” She’s trying to hold me by my shoulders but I shrug her away. “Sometimes we don’t have the option to hurt because we must stay strong and finish what we started. Instead of letting this cripple and break you, use it to fuel your determination. They would’ve wanted you to finish your quest. Don’t forget they chose to give their lives to give you that chance. Will you really dishonor them this way?”

  Grabbing the first thing I can reach, I hurl it at the wall and it bursts into million pieces. Like a woman possessed I start throwing everything that I can see and pick up. From bottles to cups, chairs—even statues placed around. The sound of things breaking is like a balm to my tortured heart. Inanna doesn’t stop me, she just watches me patiently, as if things like this happen to her daily. My birthmark and the two brands on my wrist and hand start pulsing, as if urging me to destroy more. I’m more than happy to oblige. When I can’t find more things to break, I start ripping the silks that hang on the walls and windows. By the time I’m done, the beautiful room looks like a junkyard. My hair is plaster
ed on my face and I’m gulping for air. I start laughing hysterically like a lunatic at the mess around me while tears stream down my face. I really think I’ve finally lost my mind. Wiping them away with the backs of my hands and pulling my hair away from my face, I turn to look at Inanna and she’s still standing in the same spot with her arms crossed over her chest.

  “You feel better now?” she asks when I stop laughing, as if I didn’t just destroy an entire room.

  “I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “I just don’t like it that you make sense.”

  “It has been known to happen from time to time,” she laughs softly

  “Now what?” I plop down on the floor, feeling drained.

  “Now get up. Let’s get washed and dressed so we can meet with Ishtar. Pull on your strength and on the love for all you hold dear in your heart and lift your head. Their physical bodies are gone, but they are not. You will meet again. Don’t let her see your pain so she can exploit it. Transform it into strength. You are a powerful creature; act like it.”

  Looking up from where I’m sitting on the ground, I stare at her for a long time. She does have a point. I can almost hear Meda and Faith telling me to snap out of it. It’s easy for those that are gone. The ones left behind have to deal with the loss. Knowing that they aren’t really gone doesn’t make it easier. It hurts like a bitch and there is not a thing I can do about it. Not at this time.

  “Okay, let’s do this. I will not think of it until we are done with this journey. You will have your vessel. After that, I want to be left alone to grieve. I don’t want to see or hear from any of you. Deal?” I ask her.

  “Deal,” she answers, a little too fast for my liking.

  “I believe our clothing is left on the dais that you fortunately didn’t notice.” She points towards two neatly folded piles that look ridiculous in this mess.

  Walking up to them, I look to see what I’m going to wear. One pile has some white silky fabric and tons of necklaces with jewels. That’s it. The second pile is a black corset dress and what looks like lacy fingerless gloves that can reach to your elbows.

  “White has never been my color,” I tell Inanna over my shoulder as I snatch the black dress and head for the door that I assume must be a bathroom.

  She laughs at me, because she knows as well as I do that there’s no way in hell I’ll swing my boobs around, covered only with necklaces. She, on the other hand, doesn’t give two shits about it. Hanging around her for this long makes me realize that I have a lot of issues. And here I thought that I got rid of those through everything that has happened to me lately. Go figure.

  Without too much fuss, in two separate areas that serve as showers with water flowing down from the walls like a tiny waterfall, we get ready. I might be Inanna’s vessel, but that doesn’t mean I want to flaunt said vessel in front of her or anyone else. I was as fast as I could be washing away the day and it does make me feel little better, almost like some of the weight that was pressing on me has been lifted. I dry off using a soft towel that anywhere else would be considered a lap quilt and put the dress on. I’m not at all shocked that it fits perfectly. However, I’m not very happy that it’s a dress. Who can fight in a dress? Not that anyone said there will be a fight, but one never knows, especially when it comes to me.

  “Let me see you,” Inanna says from behind me as I pull on the gloves over my arms and I turn around.

  “Oh, wow. You look beautiful. White is definitely your color,” I tell her because she pulls off those necklaces as I knew she would.

  “You do, too, love. You make me proud.” She smiles, and I walk closer to where she is standing in front of a tall mirror, trying to fasten the choker with dangling chains around my neck.

  “I look like a witch!” I laugh when I look at myself, “I’m only missing a pointy hat and a broom.” I laugh harder.

  “Humans and their ridiculous stories. Whoever said that’s how witches look?” she huffs.

  “The goddess will see you now.” A voice makes me jump and a burst of fire flies from my hand in the direction it came from.

  There’s a yelp and after a second, a sizzling sound. Shit, I hope I didn’t hurt whoever it is. We hurry to check and the same woman that walked us here is standing in the middle of the mess holding her arm cradled to her chest, glaring at me.

  “Sorry. You startled me,” I mumble.

  “Follow me.” She turns around and starts walking briskly, so we hurry behind her.

  As we walk towards wherever she is taking us, Inanna snickers and I look at her. I have no idea what’s funny until I see her pointedly looking at my feet. I look down and realize if I take longer strides, the dress splits up the sides, leaving my legs bare all the way to my hips. This is also a problem because I didn’t put on the shoes left for us; I’m still wearing my sneakers. No wonder she’s laughing, but I don’t care. I can move faster with sneakers than with those tiny-ass shoes. I grin at her but keep walking. We reach a big arched entry and the woman steps aside, waving her arm for us to enter. Before we do, Inanna grabs my arm, stopping me.

  “She will test you. Don’t fall for it. Remember, transform your pain into strength. I can’t help. I can only observe.”

  With those words, we square our shoulders and walk through the entryway. As I take a few steps into the big area, the first thing my eyes land on is Lucifer standing with his arms crossed over his chest and a beautiful half-naked woman draped all over him, whispering something in his ear. Remi, Daisy and Jezzinta stand to the side, glaring at those two while Philip looks directly at me, wide-eyed, before he drops his head like his neck can’t hold it anymore, mumbling something I can’t hear. I feel like someone just took a hot poker and stabbed me with it a million times in less than a second, right in the heart.

  34

  Lucifer…

  I cannot pay attention to what Ishtar is saying; my mind is preoccupied with Alexia, where she is and if she is okay. In the middle of it all, I am debating the wisdom of pushing the goddess away from me. What I used to see as flattering is now annoying and unwanted. Why are we still waiting here? Is she hiding Alexia from us? All the thoughts evaporate from my head as I hear Philip mumble something incoherent and someone clears their throat from the entry way.

  Dread pools in my stomach as I slowly turn my head around and look at Inanna and Alexia standing just inside the chamber. Inanna is looking at me with a raised eyebrow, but I ignore her. Alexia, on the other hand, has no emotions showing on her face. This is a good thing…I hope. Before I have a chance to process it all, Remi and Jezzinta literally fly into her arms as if they haven’t seen her for years. Seeing her smile at them makes me want to push them away so she can turn it on me. She steals a glance my way but looks swiftly away. Maybe no emotion on her face was not a good thing after all.

  “Get her off you, man. What’s wrong with you?” Philip says quietly from the corner of his mouth. I almost missed it.

  I realize that Ishtar is still leaning her body on mine, her arm wrapped around my arm in a familiar fashion. Prying her fingers open, I push her away from me as gently as I can and take a step back. Her raised eyebrow and smirk tells me this was all planned, and like a fool, I fell for it because I was not paying attention. I frown at her, but that only makes her smirk grow and there is a gleam in her eyes I do not like.

  “Go touch Al. Her hand or shoulder—anything, for that matter. At least we will know how badly you’re screwed if she pushes you away,” Philip continues his guidance and like a child, I follow his instructions.

  After walking up to her, I pull her to my chest and wrap my arms around her, breathing her in. It calms my heart somewhat. She is stiff in my embrace but I ignore it. She is not pushing me away. I can deal with this, I think. But I see Philip doesn’t share my sentiment, because he is shaking his head, looking pained. I do not understand why until Alexia pulls away from me and steps back. She wouldn’t even look at me.

  “Alexia…” I start, but she walks away li
ke I haven’t spoken, and I stand there, rooted to the spot.

  “Ishtar, I presume? It’s nice to finally meet you,” Alexia stands in front of Ishtar, gently nodding her head in greeting. It makes me proud to see her strength.

  “Ah, Semiramis! How lovely for you to come to my realm. I didn’t think the day would come when you would grace us with your presence here,” Ishtar’s words are spoken nicely, but there is an undercurrent of something in them that sets me on edge.

  I start walking towards them, but before I move, Inanna grabs my arm.

  “You really are as stupid as the rest of them, aren’t you? You didn’t tell her that you are very familiar with Ishtar when you knew we were coming here?”

  “I have lived for millennia; I am familiar with many. I did not think this would be a problem. Alas, I was mistaken, it seems.” I growl at her.

  I am angry at myself, not at anyone else. I should not take it out on them, but I cannot control my temper. Pulling my arm away from her, I walk towards Alexia without looking if Inanna will follow. As I reach Alexia, I step behind her and pull her to my chest again. I am hoping she will not make a scene in front of everyone and that will calm me at least a little. As I expected, she stiffens but doesn’t push me away, so I sigh in relief.

  “...and we came through the gate because two of my sisters gave their lives.” Alexia’s voice brings me to the present. I missed what else she said.

  “Yes, how unfortunate. Tiamat has been going from realm to realm, destroying everything in her path in the search for you and the potions. Many of us closed our realms in hopes of discouraging her from coming.”

  “How good for you all, hiding like cowards in your temples while people die for you,” Alexia drawls, sarcasm dripping like venom from her mouth.