Rocket Science

by Emily Mayer

  “Oh shorts,” I cursed, “is that ketchup?”

  From this angle, I was eyelevel with what appeared to be a blob of ketchup on my blouse. I sighed. There were some problems even a Tide-To-Go pen couldn’t fix.

  Maybe the position I was in cut off the air supply to my lungs, subsequently depriving my brain of oxygen, but it suddenly felt like I was having an out-of-body experience. I could see the problem with the first-stage engines clearly, and I knew how to fix it. I shoved my tray away from the keyboard and got to work.

  Three hours and two meetings later, I was a hero. Statues would be erected in my honor and little children would sing songs about me. I could already see the parade Spatium would throw for me on what I was sure would be a national holiday. I shut the door to my office and pulled out my phone.

  Four rings later, Sebastian’s voice sounded in my ear.

  “Lennon, what’s wrong?” His voice was hushed but the worry was loud and clear.

  “Nothing! Are you busy?”

  “No, we’re just reviewing some game footage for Friday,” he said, sounding less concerned.

  “I’m sorry! You didn’t need to step out of your meeting. We can talk later. It’s not important,” I said on a rush, suddenly feeling silly for even calling him in the first place. I was just so excited and relieved to have the engine issue fixed, and he was the first person I wanted to share the good news with.

  “You never call me, and it’s the middle of the day. Out with it. You’re making me worried.”

  “You know the problems we’ve been having with the engines? Well, I figured it out this afternoon and all the tests we ran in the CAD are very encouraging. I think I did it!”

  A tiny squeal may have escaped at the end.

  “That’s fantastic, love. I’m happy for you.” He sounded so genuinely happy that it made my smile widen to the point that my cheeks hurt. “I knew you would figure it out.”

  “I was just so excited that I couldn’t wait to tell you. I really didn’t mean to interrupt your meeting.”

  “I’m glad you did. We’ll celebrate later, okay?” I could hear the smile in his voice and could imagine the crinkles that were probably accompanying it.

  “Yeah, I’d like that.” I dug deep to find the tiny well of courage that lived somewhere in me. “Hey, um, do you have any plans on Saturday?”

  “I have a massage in the morning, but nothing after that.”

  “Would you want to go to a party with me at a friend’s house? It might be lame and it’s kind of a drive, but it would be more fun if you were there, I think.”

  Silence stretched for a second that felt more like a century, in which I planned how I would change my name and move to Siberia.

  “Are you inviting me to go to a party with you?”

  I wrinkled my brows in confusion. “Yes. Or I’m trying to, but I completely understand if you’d rather do something else or have other plans.”

  “I’d love to. Hey, I’ve got to run but we’re on for Saturday.”

  I was half-dead but still managed an “okay have a good day.” Then I hung up faster than I thought was possible, just in case he changed his mind in the millisecond it normally took to hit the end-call button.

  The door to my office flew open, slamming into the wall so hard that I dropped to the floor out of pure instinct. I did not want to die before Saturday. Did tornados happen inside buildings?

  “Lennon, you did it, you glorious nerd!” Janie’s booming voice filled my office.

  I peeked over my desk to see her holding a familiar white bag in her hand and smiling like the maniac she truly was.

  “Is that a bag from Lola’s?” I asked, my desire for baked goods overriding my survival instinct. I stood and reached for the bag, peering inside.

  “Oatmeal raisin cookies for the human responsible for saving this multimillion-dollar project. You deserved a reward.”

  “Thank you! I ended up working through lunch, so these cookies look extra delicious right now.” I ripped off a huge chunk of cookie and shoved it into my mouth. “So good.”

  Janie’s eyes travelled from the unwashed mass of hair piled haphazardly on top of my head, down my stained blouse, and finally to my mismatched shoes.

  “What the actual hell happened to you?”

  I gazed down at myself even though I knew exactly what she was talking about.

  “Yeah.” I swept some of the crumbs off my blouse. “It’s been a day. It started very badly, obviously, but it’s really turned around and now I have the world’s best cookies in my mouth. Oh! And I invited Sebastian to go Will’s party and he said yes. Can you believe it?”

  Janie shook her head, smiling at me. “Yeah, you doofus, I can totally believe it. Look at you, solving problems and making moves. My baby is growing up!”

  I shrugged, polishing off the last pieces of cookie stranded at the bottom of the bag. The strange thing was that it kind of did feel like I was growing—not up, but maybe growing into myself? And then I remembered that I had misbuttoned my shirt that morning and was rocking two different colored shoes.

  Oh well, you can’t win ’em all.

  33.

  I was feeling much more human by the time Friday rolled around. All the tests we’d been running on the first-stage engines were very promising, which meant that I was finally sleeping and feeling less like stepping into traffic with my eyes closed.

  I left work a little early to pick Paige up for her first official day of training. I was much more excited about the whole thing than she was, but I was determined to make this work and Paige was a firm believer that a person’s energy was contagious. I was going to be the flu of excitement, dang it!

  I texted Paige when I was outside our building and had to fight a grin when she came out of the door. She was wearing a pair of high-waisted, cropped tweed dress pants with a white puff-sleeved dress shirt. Her blonde hair was out of its signature high ponytail and loosely curled. She basically looked like she was ready to take Wall Street by storm, not headed for a night at a tattoo shop—not that I would ever mention that fact. I wondered if I should text Harrison and warn him not to mention Paige’s outfit or I would tell Mom he was having unprotected sex.

  “Hey,” she said, opening the car door and hopping in. She adjusted the pleats on her pants as she got settled in my not-so spacious car—a signature nervous move of my own.

  “Hey! You look so nice! Did you have time to eat or do you want to stop on the way?” I sounded way too cheerful for the question.

  She gave me a confused look and pressed a hand to her abdomen. “No thanks, I’m too nervous to eat.”

  “Huh. I’ve heard that is a thing some people experience. Fascinating.” I hit play on the “Get Pumped” playlist Janie and I had made for Paige this afternoon.

  Janie and I had very different ideas of what songs should be included on this playlist, so the whole thing was honestly kind of a mess. Lizzo turned into Beyoncé and Beyoncé turned into Linkin Park.

  Paige picked up my phone and scrolled through the songs. “Did you make this playlist?” she asked, looking up from my phone.

  I squirmed in my seat under her questioning stare, unable to tell if she was upset by the expression on her face.

  “Janie and I made it this afternoon to help you get pumped. Research has shown a strong correlation between music and our emotions. When we listen to music, we experience a form of emotional mimicry, where our emotions mimic the emotions in the songs which can cause a release of dopamine that actually makes us feel happier. Also, there are tons of super interesting studies about how music affects consumer behaviors and how companies use that to their advantage. So Janie and I thought it would be a good way to get you pumped for your first day. We obviously did not agree on the song choices.”

  Paige laughed at the obvious look of frustration on my face as I thought about the hour we’d spent arguing over what should be included in the playlist.

  “It is kind of a hot mess, bu
t it’s also amazing. Thank you for this. It really does mean a lot that you guys made it for me.”

  We spent the rest of the car ride laughing at the mismatched songs, so while our playlist may not have gotten Paige pumped up, it did take her mind off her nerves until we parked. I heard her take a deep breath as she opened the car door and knew she was reciting one of the mantras she’d taught me to use when I was feeling anxious. I gave her a reassuring hug before we walked through the door.

  Lou swiveled around when he heard the front door open, his eyes opening comically wide when he took in Paige walking next to me.

  “Lennon!” he greeted me, shoving away from the desk and coming to stand in front of us. “And who is this lovely female specimen?”

  “Uh, this is my friend Paige. I’m going to train her to do all the office stuff, so Harrison isn’t such a grouch all the time.” I motioned toward Lou. “Paige, this is Lou.”

  Lou grabbed Paige’s hand and pressed a kiss on her knuckles. “Enchanted.”

  “What is happening?” Paige asked out of the corner of her mouth.

  “That’s Lou being Lou, just roll with it.”

  “Louis! No giving the new girl one of your diseases!” Kay yelled, poking her head out of her station. “Hey Paige! We keep pepper spray in the desk drawer especially for Lou. Just take it out and he’ll run away.”

  Lou shook his head back and forth and sighed.

  “Don’t listen to her, sweet Paige. I’ve been turning down her advances for years. She’s just a bitter old woman.”

  Kay barked out a laugh from her station without even a pause in the hum of her tattoo gun.

  “Jesus fuck. You all are lucky I’m the HR department.” Harrison’s booming voice had us all jumping around to face him. I watched the color drain from Paige’s face. Lou was still wearing his signature grin, highlighting his acquired immunity to Harrison’s bark. “Is there literally anything else you could be doing besides harassing my new employee?’

  “Harassing? Moi?” Lou feigned horror, complete with hand covering his heart. “I would never. I think you’ll find welcoming new employees is listed in my job description.”

  Harrison crossed his arms and glared at Lou, who was still grinning unrepentantly. Paige looked like she was praying a sinkhole would suddenly rip the earth out from under her feet. I reached over and slipped my arm through hers, steering us both around the desk.

  “Okay, so I think I’ll just take over the front desk. Lou, do you think you could find a second chair for us?”

  “Anything for you, tater tot,” he said, shooting a wink at Paige.

  “Tater tot?” Paige whispered to me, keeping her eyes on Harrison.

  “I eat a lot of tater tots.” I shrugged. “Lou likes to give people nicknames that no one else uses or wants anyone else to use.”

  Lou reappeared with a chair that looked suspiciously like the chair from Harrison’s office. Based on the growl Harrison emitted, it was in fact his chair, but thankfully, he just shook his head in disgust and walked to his station. Paige visibly relaxed.

  Lou pulled out the chair for Paige with a flourish of his hand and a “Mademoiselle.”

  “Thanks.” Paige smiled up at Lou, taking the seat. She was saved by the entrance of a large man who I recognized as one of Lou’s clients. He was working on a large piece that would eventually cover his back and wrap around his left arm to spill onto his chest.

  I groaned. “Lesson number one, don’t do anything that Lou could in any way construe as encouragement.”

  I walked Paige through the check-in process for returning clients, then showed her how the appointment software worked. As I expected, she was a quick learner and had no trouble figuring out how it worked. Lou’s client shot her a wink and a “thanks, darling” before following Lou to his station.

  Harrison: Why is your friend dressed like she’s about to teach first grade?

  I glanced up to make sure Paige wasn’t paying attention to me. She was busy being a good employee, messing around with the program.

  Me: Her name is Paige and you know it. She is dressed professionally for her first day of work. You should be thankful your new employee is taking her job seriously.

  Harrison: I don’t want her scaring clients away.

  Me: I am not even going to dignify that with a response.

  Since I already had my phone out, I checked on the score of Sebastian’s game. They were down by a goal, but there were still forty-five minutes left in the game. And then, because I was fully committed to going down the rabbit hole that was a crush on Sebastian Kincaid, I quickly reread the text message exchange from earlier in the day where we’d made plans for the party tomorrow. Of course, I was trying to decide if this counted as a date if the word ‘date’ was never actually used or implied in any fashion. Baby steps, Lennon, baby steps.

  “Okay, Lennon will get you all taken care of you from here,” Aaron said, leading a petite brunette to the front desk. “It was nice meeting you, Chloe. Give us a call if you’re having any issues.”

  “Thank you so much. I absolutely love it.” Chloe gave him one last wistful look and then turned her attention to us. I noticed Paige openly admiring Aaron. There was probably an entire group of women who met once a month to support each other after their encounters with him.

  I got Chloe checked out while explaining the process to Paige. I watched in awe as Paige effortlessly made small talk with Chloe. It turned out that Chloe had a Svadhishthana symbol tattooed on the inside of her arm to help boost her creativity. They chatted about different chakras and what helped them unlock their full potential. By the time Paige was done, I knew Chloe was super into yoga and was in her third year of school at UCLA studying art, even though her parents really wanted her to focus her energy on something more practical like graphic design.

  “And you thought you weren’t going to be a good fit for this job.” I swiveled in my seat to give Paige the old ‘I told you so’ look.

  She just shrugged. “She was nice and easy to talk to. It’s only the first night, but so far, it hasn’t been anything too groundbreaking.”

  Aaron walked out of his station and came around the desk. He leaned his delightfully sculpted arms on the counter and gave Paige a wink.

  “You must be Paige.”

  What was happening with all the winking? Had everyone suddenly developed a tic in their orbicularis oculi muscles? Lou only winked at me when he knew he was about to do or say something that was going to make Harrison have a conniption.

  “Yes, hi!” Paige gave him a wave that looked smooth and unruffled, unlike my limp-wristed, flail move. God, genetics really were so unfair.

  “I’m Aaron,” he greeted her with that panty-melting grin. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too! I’ve heard so much about you.” She grunted when my bony, pterodactyl-like elbow connected with her rib. “Lennon said you guys really enjoyed the soccer game the other week.”

  “It was awesome!” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. I got a glimpse of the screen. It was the picture I took of him, Sebastian, and Tom Harris. “Lemme show you some pictures.”

  I could hear Kay’s groan from her station and barely managed to hold in the laugh that had threatened to escape earlier. But bless her heart, Paige oohed and ahhed over every photo, managing to look interested and more than likely earning Aaron’s eternal friendship.

  “Did you eat?” Harrison’s voice boomed from behind us.

  “Cheese and rice, Harrison, that was super creepy even for you,” I answered, still trying to locate my heart after he’d scared it straight out of my chest. How did such a large guy manage to be so stealthy? “No, I didn’t eat yet. I thought maybe we could order something here before it gets busy.”

  His gaze swung to Paige, who looked like she might be holding her breath .“Did you eat?”

  “No,” she squeaked out, hands gripping the arm rests on Harrison’s chair like she was in danger of slidin
g to the floor.

  “All right, use the card to order pizza for everyone,” he said, turning to stalk back to his chair-less office.

  I waved my hand in front of Paige.

  “Earth to Paige, are you okay?”

  She jerked her head around to face me, nodding it so hard I worried for her cervical vertebrae.

  “Yes, yep, totally fine. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason,” I answered, turning to the serious business of collecting pizza orders from everyone.

  The rest of the night went smoothly, largely because Harrison was fully booked and spent the rest of the time in his station. He made one brief appearance to grab a few slices of pizza, and that was the only time I saw Paige’s smile falter. I felt like an evil scientist, thinking that watching Paige and Harrison navigate each other was going to be very interesting.

  34.

  I woke up the next morning feeling like a jumbled mess of nerves and excitement. The pot of coffee I consumed did nothing to help the slight shakiness in my limbs or the racing in my heart.

  I glanced at the half-full cup resting on the sink counter. I promptly poured its contents down the drain.

  “Today, you have betrayed my trust. I never thought I would see this day.”

  Boomer hissed from the other side of the door, indignant that he was once again banned from the bathroom while I was showering. I opened the door and he flew in, looking frantic.

  “Geesh, calm down. You didn’t miss anything exciting. And you could be in here all the time if you stopped knocking my toothbrush into the toilet.”

  He curled up on the bathmat and began systematically cleaning his paws, showing his complete lack of remorse for his crimes against my toothbrushes. I sighed and continued combing the tangles out of my hair.

  I had considered wearing one of the cute, trendy outfits I had ordered online with Paige’s help, but I felt like wearing them would be dishonest somehow. If Sebastian weren’t going with me, I wouldn’t even have thought twice about what I would wear: my new That’s What I’m Tolkien About T-shirt with a pair of nicer leggings. So, somewhere between shaving my legs and washing the shampoo out of my hair, that was what I had decided to wear.