by Jane Henry
I shake Lachlan off and step toward Tully. “You’ll watch your fucking mouth. You talk about Sheena like that again, I’ll knock your fucking teeth out.” And I mean it. My hands shake with rage, and I swear to God my vision’s blurry and hazy with it.
“Nolan.” Keenan’s sharp voice comes from the door. I bite my tongue, keeping myself in check with effort. All the men stare at us, likely prepared to interfere if we come to blows.
“My bad, Keenan,” Tully says. “Made an offhand comment about his girl.”
His girl.
Keenan shakes his head. “Are you that tone deaf, Tully?” he says, as he enters the room and heads for his desk. “You say anything about Sheena to Nolan again, I’ll give leave for Nolan to beat your arse right here, right now.”
Cormac snorts, kicks back in a chair, and laces his hands behind his head, his muscles bulging as he stares down Tully. “And I’ll hold you down while he does.”
Tully holds his hands up in surrender, “Alright lads, alright, you’ll hear nothing but respect out of my mouth when it comes to her.” He mutters under his breath. “Mother of God.”
“Take a seat, lads,” Keenan says, giving us all a look that’s so much like my father it’s almost eerie. He likely knows it’s harder to get into a knock-down fight if we’re sitting.
“Tell me this, though,” Tully says. He crosses his arms on his chest and addresses Keenan. “Since when did the girl who tried to destroy us become off limits?”
I regret not decking him.
Keenan eyes him levelly, leaning forward with his fists on the desk.
“Since my brother took her as his own.”
They hold each other’s gazes for a moment. I’ve had enough.
“You all know that Sheena Hurston thought us guilty of the death of her father. Think on it, boys. You know as well as I do we’d have done the same,” I say.
Tully looks away and doesn’t respond, but Carson nods his head. He’s a quiet sort, but when he speaks, we pay attention.
“Aye,” he says. “It’s clear, isn’t it?”
The overhead light glints on his glasses. He pushes them up on his nose and eyes the room. “If she thought us responsible for her father’s death, she wouldn’t handle things the way we would. One woman, against a whole clan of men? ‘Tisn’t physical methods of retaliation she’d seek, but another way.”
“Aye,” Lachlan says. “Can’t say it doesn’t piss me off some even now, but I’ve watched her since the meeting with Father Finn. And the woman’s stood by her word. She’s interviewed the locals and contacted her friends in the media. Haven’t you all seen the various articles that’ve come out?.”
“I have,” I say quietly. I want to hear what they all have to say before I speak my mind. It’s telling.
“Same,” Cormac says. “Aileen was pleased as fucking punch reading the article about the donations to the schools. Says the articles almost made us seem like celebrities.”
Keenan smirks. “Going to pay the school a visit for a celebrity reading, then, Cormac?”
“Feck off,” Cormac says with a grin.
Keenan looks to me. “Nolan, any word on when she’ll return to work? I haven’t heard anything about her reporting lately. You?”
“Aye,” I tell him. “She was on leave, as it were, doing her investigation. And she was supposed to return this week, but I asked her not to.”
Keenan raises a brow but doesn’t speak.
“Too risky,” I tell him. “Not when we don’t have a handle on the O’Gregors.”
“Right,” Keenan says.
“So her boss has given her permission to report from where she is. They’re in regular contact. She hasn’t shown her face, but she’s given him stories. They work closely with the paper as well.”
Keenan nods. “Very good. Aye, even Caitlin, who doesn’t like attention, was pleased with some of the more recent articles and news coverage. So what do we know about the status of their mother?”
I shake my head. “Nothing. We’ve tried to find out what we could, but there’s nothing at all.”
“She been killed, then?” Lachlan asks.
I cringe at his words, though I know it likely true. I wonder how her mother’s death would impact Sheena. Sheena hates her, and I don’t blame her based on what I’ve heard myself, but the woman’s still her mother. And her loss will impact… well, damn near all of us.
“I don’t know,” I tell him. “But it wouldn’t surprise me.”
“Anyone been in touch with the police?”
“Aye,” Lachlan says. “Just this morning. Walsh says he’s heard nothing from the O’Gregors at all. Thinks it isn’t good news, though, that they’re planning something big.”
Cormac groans. “Fucking figures.”
Keenan shrugs. “Nothing new, though, brothers. They’ve been on us for years. So now they have an excuse to retaliate? They’ve wanted a piece of what we have since we buried dad.”
“Aye,” Tully says. “’Tis true.”
Alright, then, so I forgive both of them. They had a chance to throw me under the bus, and they didn’t.
“Nolan,” Keenan says. “Tell us what you’ve planned to do with the lot of them, then. Have you thought about this?”
I take in a deep breath, my chest rising, then falling as I exhale. I nod, meeting Keenan straight in the eye. “Aye,” I tell him. “To be honest, I like having them here. Brings a certain softness about things, doesn’t it, having children around?”
“Aye,” Cormac says. He’s changed since he’s become a father himself. “They aren’t family, though,” he says, and he isn’t wrong. “Is it safe for us?”
“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” Keenan asks. “It’s one thing to have a flat right here on our property, to be part of the clan by blood. But it’s another to be brought here as guests. You know we’re safe here, all of us. With our location, the safety measurements in place, aye… we’re as safe as can be. But with them not being family...”
“And we know now that her brother was involved with the O’Gregors, don’t we?”
Keenan knew this. I told him first thing, after I found out. Not everyone else did, though. There’s murmurs and curses as the others realize our predicament.
“Yes, we do,” I tell them. “I’ve questioned him at length. He’s had no contact since he came here, and Lachlan and I are confident he’s no spy.”
“Sure he isn’t,” Lachlan says. “Hell, truth be told, I think he’d be a fine asset for us to have. If we enrolled him at St. Albert’s like you did me, the lad’s got what it takes to be a brother of The Clan.”
Keenan raises his brows heavenward. “Really, Lachlan?”
Lachlan doesn’t back down. “Aye.”
“I’ve thought so myself,” I tell them. “I’ve been teaching him at the weekend. Boxing, fighting, wrestling, and damn, he’s a quick study. He’s got a temper like his sister’s, but you know… well, tempers can be sorted. Can’t they, Lachlan?”
Lachlan gives me a sheepish grin. It took time for us to help him learn to control his temper, but he’s mastered it now.
Boner snorts, and Cormac shakes his head, rolling his eyes to the ceiling.
“Honestly, though, I trust him. He isn’t with them anymore.”
Keenan nods. “Aye. Agreed. But you know, Nolan.”
He’s got that look in his eyes I’ve seen before. The one I’ve learned to heed, because he’s hatching some sort of plan.
“We could move things along with the O’Gregors, couldn’t we?”
Foreboding roots in my belly at his words. I’m no fool. I know how these things go. Any plan at all that would “move things along” with the O’Gregors would likely endanger Sheena.
“How so?” I ask, my voice tight with apprehension.
The room stills as Keenan strokes his chin. “The O’Gregors were responsible for the death of Sheena’s father. We know that now.”
“Aye,” I say.
&n
bsp; “We further know that they’re planning retaliation, because we’ve set foot on their territory and assaulted one of theirs. And, the complication with Tiernan.”
“Aye,” I repeat.
“We know they’re likely suspicious because her brother’s on our property now. Think of the danger that puts him in. If they think he was a spy for us, the second he sets foot off our property, he’s endangered as well.”
I nod. I don’t like where this is going, not one bit.
“There’s not a doubt in my mind that they’re planning something. Are you men in agreement?”
Murmurs of assent go up around us. Even I find myself nodding. Yes. Yes, of course they will.
“I don’t like this game,” Keenan says. “Lying in wait, as it were, waiting for the rattler to strike. Anxious for the sound of his rattle.”
“I agree,” I tell him. He’s right, and hell, Tiernan and Sheena are made of sterner stuff than the others even know. I hate the idea of leaving this property and going somewhere else, but it has to be done. “We need to bring them out of hiding, then.”
Keenan looks to me, and his eyes are sympathetic. He knows what it’s like to love someone, how you want to wrap them up and keep them safe, and protect them from the dangers that lurk outside your door. How you want to shield them from anyone and anything that could bring them harm.
But it doesn’t work that way. Love isn’t about control, or capture, and can never be brought about by force. Love is about letting them go, so they can spread their wings… and fly back to you. Freely.
“Do you have a plan, Nolan?” Cormac asks quietly. His eyes meet mine, and like Keenan’s, I see sympathy behind his gaze. My heart squeezes. I know then, like I’ve known before but now I feel down to my bones, these men would lay down their lives for me. They’d follow me through fire, would give up everything out of loyalty, integrity, and the love of the brotherhood.
I swallow, and my voice is a little husky when I nod my head. “Haven’t worked out the details, yet, but I have an idea.” I face Keenan but address the room. “Help me do this.”
“I’ll do whatever you need me to,” Keenan says. “You have my word, Nolan.”
“And mine,” Boner says.
“And mine,” Tully grunts.
“Goes without saying, mine, too. He’s my brother, you pricks. Don’t one-up me,” Cormac mutters.
“Mine, too,” Carson says with a smile, and Lachlan shakes his head.
“Always making me look like the twat, eh? Mine, too, but it’ll cost you.”
I punch his shoulder but he easily deflects.
“A fucking pint, brother, not your little redheaded firstborn,” he says.
We settle down, talk out our options. And we make our plan.
Chapter 16
Sheena
We’re out in the garden, surrounded by a sea of green leaves and grass, the sun beating down overhead, and for one brief moment in time, I try to hold onto this.
I’ve gotten to a place in my life where I don’t expect good things, like family, and peace, laughter and joy. The comforts of home and a good meal prepared for me and served amidst the companionship of others. And here, at the McCarthy household, they have that, every damn day.
And I want that so badly it makes me ache inside. But it isn’t just me I’m thinking about.
When I see baby Sam smile at Maeve, the way his dimpled arms reach for her and he toddles her way… she smiles at him and bends to lift him, tucks him against her chest and kisses the curls on his head, swaying back and forth as if he brings joy to her heart… I want that for him. He’s had me and Fiona and Tiernan, and for that I’m grateful. But he’s a burden to mum. She doesn’t delight in him the way Maeve does, and dammit… little babies ought to have someone who delights in them.
When I see Fiona’s eyes light up at dinner, when she speaks animatedly to anyone and everyone who’ll listen, when she walks the grounds of the compound and tucks wildflowers in her hair… I want this for her. The safety and security of a family that will protect her, so she’s free to grow with grace from childhood to womanhood.
When I see Tiernan learning the skills the men teach him, sparring with Nolan or Lachlan, I see the man he’s going to become. He takes pride in a job well done, and I haven’t seen that light in his eyes since… well, since dad died, really. And being around these men, who treat him like a brother, has been good for him. The hardened edges to his jaw and eyes soften when he’s in their company. He’s learning loyalty and friendship, self-confidence, and bravery.
I want this for them. Family and friends. Security and comfort.
But I can’t expect that it’s the McCarthy family that can give them any of that permanently.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Damn, it’s hard to doubt things when Nolan comes up behind me. He slips a hand to the small of my back, his touch at once warm and possessive.
“Oh, nothing,” I lie, but my words stick in my throat. I’ve built a fortress of protection with my lies, and I hate that I’ve let that happen. No matter what it takes, I have to stop it. I have to speak the truth to get the future I want.
“Not nothing, Sheena,” he says, a hard edge to his voice that tells me he knows I’m hiding something. Why is it that he can see straight through me? “Something’s on your mind, doll.”
“Many things are on my mind, Nolan,” I tell him truthfully, though I know I’m being evasive.
He nods, accepting the answer. I exhale in relief. I don’t want him to know how badly my heart breaks for the children in front of us. How much I long to give them comfort and security and the home they need when this eventually ends.
Even if I could bring them all home… I wouldn’t be able to give them this.
“How did your interview go?” he asks, but his eyes are distant, and he doesn’t look at me when he speaks, like he’s hiding something. He’s turned away from me, a distant look in his eyes that tells me he’s troubled. I look at him curiously. I’ve learned to read his body language well.
“Went well,” I tell him. Several of the local townspeople had nothing but good things to say about the McCarthys. My campaign to vindicate their name’s gone so well, better than I could have hoped. “Article will come over the weekend, and my boss wants me to return to work the following week.”
He nods. “Good,” he says, but it’s again a distant sort of comment. He isn’t really here, but somewhere else.
And then he drops a bomb.
“It’s time we move them off the property, Sheena,” he says.
I don’t respond at first.
Did he just say what I think he did?
I swallow hard. “Who?” I ask stupidly.
He sighs and jerks his chin to the children before us. “Things have changed. We’re going to have to move them somewhere else.”
His voice is tight, and he won’t meet my eyes when he says it.
Even though logically I know what he says is true, my head goes to a place it shouldn’t. I should trust him more, but I’m immediately rejected, cast out, and it hurts so badly I can’t breathe at first.
I knew this, that we can’t stay here forever… I know it still… and yet I can’t bear to think about it.
“I know they can’t,” I say, my voice taking on the hardened edge I can’t help when I’m hurt. “But I’m not sure where to take them.”
And the question that plagues me… if I take them away…will that be the end for the two of us?
I never even let myself give voice to my fears. That I’m not good enough. That he can’t possibly love someone who’s treated him the way I have. That no man in his right mind would want anything to do with a woman saddled with three children, no less. And that even if none of those factors were at play… he’s the pillar of the Irish mob.
We can’t be together. The logical part of my brain knows this, even as my heart breaks.
I nod, because I can’t trust my voice.
I
step away from him, because I don’t want him to touch me right now. I can’t. I won’t.
“Sheena—”
He’s calling me, but I ignore him. I don’t want him to see me cry. I don’t want any of them to. Maeve looks up as I walk by, and her eyes meet mine. I look away too quickly. She’s too empathic, too sensitive… I don’t want to see my pain mirrored in her eyes.
Wordlessly, I reach for Sam, who’s now toddling on the ground beside her. I lift him and bring him to my chest, holding him as tightly as I can without hurting him.
“Sheena?”
Fiona stands a bit away. When I don’t respond, she jogs up to me.
“We have to go,” I say to her.
Nolan comes up on my left.
“Sheena, would you stop a minute. Honest to God,” he mutters. “Stop.”
My heartbeat spikes. I’ve learned to obey that tone of voice. With a sigh, I stop, take in a deep breath, and look to him. His green eyes flash beneath drawn brows, and his hands are anchored on his hips.
“Where are you going to?”
I stare at him dumbly. I don’t answer, because I don’t know what to say. I have no answer, because I don’t know where I’m going.
“What do you mean? Where are we going?” Fiona asks. She looks from me to him, and her lower lip quivers. I can’t look at her.
“We can’t stay here,” I tell her. “The McCarthys were nice enough to take us in, to make us feel welcome, but we can’t stay here, Fiona.”
“We’re going back to your home in Stone City until we can find a place to stay,” Nolan says.
Wait. We?
I turn to him. “Ah, no. I have no interest in going back to that place. You know it isn’t safe there, Nolan. And anyway, they can stay with me.”
He said we.
He raises a brow. “We need to talk privately, Sheena. You didn’t give me a chance to tell you everything.”
I’m still fired up, still nervous about where all this is going, so I almost tell him no. That we’ve got this, thank you very much. But instead, I nod. I’ll at least let him talk to me. We walk ahead to a clump of trees, shading us from the overhead sun.