Rolling for Love

by Kate Messick

  “You’ll get over it. You always do.” Amorino brushes me off.

  “Fight, talk. You should be having this conversation with her, not me!”

  “Why can’t I just fuck you and get Aurora pregnant?”

  I bristle. What the fuck did I ever see in this prick? “I’m taking the rest of the day off.” I stand.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just sit back down. I really didn’t mean that.”

  “Nope,” I say. “This is not a healthy friendship. You are a lying, cheating asshole, and I’m done with this conversation.”

  “Are you going to see Aurora again?”

  “Fuck you,” I hiss. Amorino drove us, but we’re walking distance from my apartment and I take off without looking back.

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Campaign, a Tower Somewhere

  Badada da da ba dadun!

  Strider (Dillon’s character)

  Another one of Trixy’s spells fly over my head and Nozomi’s grunts as her two daggers stab into the witch’s side. Despite our miracle heal from Helm, the witch has used all of our fears against us at once. Tiny imps dart at us, their touch causing fear. The witch screams in triumph, magic and power blast us off our feet. Goliath has already been unconscious once, but two imps cling to his legs this time holding him in place. He can’t move as the witch buries her staff in his chest. Goliath, our rock, our leader, falls as fire engulfs the room.

  The upside: the fire kills the few remaining imps. The downside: Trixy falls to the floor as well, her chard body as still as Goliath’s. The witch stumbles toward Nozomi, her magic relentless, despite her battered body, one leg barely holding her weight. I see Nozomi chug something and attempt to flank. I jump up and down desperate to grab the witches’ attention and keep it off our rogue.

  Ruby, in werewolf form, pounces from the side and the two go down with a thud on the stone floor. I have a short sword strapped to my hip and I pull it out. Completely out of spells, it’s all I have left. Nozomi and I trade one look before we sink our weapons into the witch trapped by Ruby’s weight. Her laughter evolves into gurgles as one of Nozomi’s daggers pierces her lungs; the second almost takes off her head.

  “Use our fears against us, bitch,” Nozomi hisses. She spits on the witch’s corpse. Bones snap and pop as the witches moonlight spell fades freeing Ruby, though she’d done well to control her werewolf nature. As Ruby returns to her human form, she runs to our succubus’ side, stabilizing her.

  “Roll your second death check,” Joe instructs Zack. “Fail the third, and your character is dead.”

  Zack takes his D20 in his hands and shakes them. He closes his eyes and I can see him praying to Helm, though the made-up god can’t help him save his character.

  “It’s too much,” Zack says. “Can’t someone just stabilize me?”

  “You have a witch's magical staff all the way through your chest. After this check, if you live, they can.”

  “Lynda, you have been rolling great tonight. May I use your dice?” Zack begs.

  “Stop stalling and roll,” Joe commands.

  “No, I have had so many bad rolls. It’s these dice,” Zack says desperately.

  “It’s probability,” Sandy corrects. But she lets it go as Lynda hands her dice to Zack.

  We all watch the dice fly, Goliath’s life resting on the fickle balls of numbers.

  “We have to pull the staff out,” I advise.

  “Strider,” Nozomi barks. She tears off a huge chunk of her skirt and hands it to Trixy. “Take this. As soon as I pull it out, stuff it in the wound. Let’s pray it hasn’t hit his heart or anything important.”

  There is a sickening sound of tearing flesh. I turn away, pretending to check on the witch, whose broken body is still bleeding out behind us.

  “Does anyone have anything left? A heal, a potion they are not giving up?” I ask.

  No one responds. I look again at Goliath. His chest barely rises and falls, but his heart doesn’t pump his lifeblood onto the floor. He’s stable.

  With Goliath unconscious, we do the best we can to loot the room and the witch's corpse. It’s a real room, unlike our others; it doesn’t dissolve. We don’t dally. We’re able to steal a few upgrades off the walls before spotting a window, a short climb up.

  As we open it, sunlight pours into the room. Goliath immediately turns to stone and Nozomi starts to sparkle beautifully. We can’t find another way in or out, the magic from the final door long gone. The dilemma of how to get out the window is soon our main focus.

  A short time later, I’m laughing my head off as Trixy and Nozomi have the statue Goliath tied between them as they shuffle the large statue out the window, only to break the delicate ladder on the outside with too much weight.

  “It’s not funny!” Steven cries as he falls, “I only have one Hit Point.”

  “Should I cast a feather fall?” Lynda asks the table.

  “Cast it!” Steven orders his wife.

  I chuckle and get out my phone as my friends antics effectively split us into two groups: Sandy, Steven and Zack at the base of the tower, and Lynda with me trapped at the top.

  “Gawd, we all should have fallen,” Steven says. He looks up from the players guide. “Feather fall covers five people.”

  “Coulda, woulda, shoulda … that's D&D.” Joe laughs.

  “And life,” Sandy adds.

  I look over at her silky hair as she picks up her tablet with her character sheet on it. Blissfully unaware of how lovely she is and how badly I want to hold her in my arms.

  ‘Coulda, woulda, shoulda,’ I say in my head as I watch Sandy and Joe interact. They aren’t very affectionate for sleeping together. But one thing is true, our D&D game is now entering a new chapter. And I want Sandy and me to turn a new page too. I need to act on my feelings. I don’t have a plan yet, but I’m not hiding behind jealousy or worry anymore. I need Sandy to know how I feel.

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  Reality, Conor O'Neill's

  It’s unbelievably hard to go against your heart. The pure action of it changes your thoughts, it warps your emotions. Worst of all, it can distort your perception of reality.

  Sandy Yuhi

  “You’re killing me, Sandy,” Dillon says to me.

  “I’m not,” I respond crossly.

  “It’s an expression—”

  “I know, but it’s a dumb one,” I state.

  Dillon tries again. “Ok, you’re not killing me, but you’re leaving me in suspense.”

  “I am.” I nod happily. “I would get your input, but as you’re playing in it, it would make the game not fun to you.”

  “And you said Joe came up with the idea for you to DM a game?” Dillon asks skeptically.

  “He has lots of good ideas,” I respond defensively.

  Dillon and I are at our weekly dinner, seated across from each other at our favorite booth at Conor O'Neill's. We have been here enough times now that staff know to just bring us our opening drinks of Baileys on ice.

  “I believe you,” he says. Some of the humor has left his voice.

  “Regardless,” I bring the conversation back on topic. “It isn’t going to be very long, but I’m very excited to run my one-shot. I’m doing straight 5E, no homebrew. Very standard, because it’s my first one, but as we’re talking to everyone about it this weekend, I was going to ask if people wanted to make their own characters, or if I should make some.”

  “That’s a good question,” Dillon says. “I would like to make a character, but I want to know more about the story first.”

  “Stop it,” I say playfully. “You are not going to get it out of me.”

  “Ok, ok. I just think we have come up with some great stuff.”

  “We have,” I agree. The little stories we had been writing back and forth, originally to help me with my back story, have continued. They are turning into their own little book! It never occurred to me that I would enjoy something like that, but it’s one of
the highlights of my week.

  “On another note …” I have been trying to bring this up all night and Dillon has either distracted me or I have lost the nerve. “I was wondering if you would get coffee with me Friday morning?” I can hear the nervousness in my own voice and I look at my lap.

  “Is everything ok?” he asks. Dillon picks up on my moods so fast. I wish Joe picked up on my moods.

  “Yes, I guess … It’s not just with me,” I admit and look up just in time to see his face fall.

  “You and Joe?”

  “No.” My brain goes back to my conversation with Betty at the gelato place after our paint-and-sip. Why did she think I had kissed Dillon and why would she feel bad for him that I didn’t? Did it have anything to do with the bitter edge to his questions?

  “Dillon, are you ok?”

  “I’m fine.” His face brightens, but the cheer doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

  “Amorino’s wife has guilted me into having coffee with her,” I explain. “I was hoping you could work some of your magic on her and come with me.”

  His mouth flattens. He looks at me for a moment and then stands. He reaches into his back pocket for his wallet. I stay quiet as he pulls out cash and puts it on the table.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home.”

  “Because I asked you to get coffee with me?” I move around the table and put my hand on Dillon’s arm.

  Dillon stops but doesn’t meet my eye. “I can’t get coffee with you and Aurora. I’m surprised you asked. All I know about your boss is that he makes you uncomfortable, you used to date, and you have known him since you were kids. But nothing else. You don’t share with me. Sandy, I love spending time with you, but you just use me, all the time.”

  “Dillon, sit,” I plead. He’s making a valid point – even if I don’t feel he’s entitled to all that information.

  “No, I think I need to go.” He walks toward the door and grabs his coats on his way out.

  I take a moment to throw an unknown amount of cash on the table and rush out after him. Pearl Street is cold and full of people, and I manage to catch up to him and pull him over to the side, my teeth chattering.

  “I’m not doing this, Sandy,” Dillon grumbles. Soft classical music flows from the window of the Italian place we’d stopped next to.

  “Dillon, talk to me.” I can hear the fear in my voice. “I will tell you all about Amorino. The entire story,” I plead. “I take back my coffee invitation.”

  “I’m not blackmailing you into sharing,” he responds. “I want you to want to share.”

  “What can I do to fix this?”

  Dillon turns his head, his face close to mine and then he pulls away, heading back into the crowd of people. I follow him, less secure than I should be. I catch up to him again but stop before I touch him. I know what It’s like to just want space. Maybe I need to back off.

  “I’m sorry,” I say softly to his back. I move out of the flow of people. A few daring snowflakes melt before they hit the sidewalk. I’m confused; Dillon has never just shut down before. I have no idea what to do. He’s usually a well of words and communication.

  Dillon finds me a few seconds later. “Sandy. No, I’m sorry.” Dillon’s hand takes mine and squeezes it, and I look up at him.

  “I don’t work magic,” he says quietly, his voice barely audible.

  “Dillon, I didn’t mean it literally,” I amend. “You’re just amazing with emotions.”

  “You’re as bad as Joe.” Dillon lets out a strangled chuckle.

  “Dillon, what’s wrong?” I ask again.

  He shakes his head and lets go of my hand. “I just need to cool off.”

  “You always listen to me.” I can feel anger simmering on the surface now. “Why can’t I help you in return? You call me overly dramatic … what is this?”

  “Sandy.” Dillon takes a step forward and then another. I feel his cool hand cup the side of my cheek. “Sandy, may I kiss you?”

  I can smell the spices from dinner on his breath. My body shivers now, really starting to feel the frigid night. I feel my defenses go up, but I don’t pull away from his touch. “Is wanting to kiss me the only reason you have been nice to me?”

  Dillon doesn’t move; his eyes are locked with mine. “No. Never.” He removes his hand from my cheek, the moment gone. “But I see Joe hurt you. I know Amorino has hurt you, even if you don’t talk about it and I just … well, it hurts me to see you get hurt over and over. All I want to do wrap you in my arms and fix it. But I can’t.”

  I feel a piece of my heart slip away as Dillon glides into the stream of people. My body shakes violently from the cold and I hurry back to the pub for my coat, a piece of me wondering why I didn’t just say yes.

  Chapter Fifty-Six

  Reality, Starbucks

  You would never guess what the inside of a Starbucks looks like. And I will not spoil it for you here.

  Sandy Yuhi

  I swallow a lump in my throat. Dillon still hasn’t returned my texts or written another part of Strider’s and Nozomi’s story. And now I’m getting coffee with Aurora. The activity is stirring up strong emotions in me. Dillon likes me. Why couldn’t he just want to be my friend? Things are going well with Joe – well, the sex with Joe is good. If I’m being honest, most of whatever we’re doing is physical. He asked me to be his girlfriend and, instead of having the conversation, I jumped his bones. Do I want to date Joe?

  “Sandy.”

  Aurora’s voice brings me out of my thoughts and I plaster on a smile. “Aurora,” I respond automatically. Stupid human imitation.

  Aurora sets her purse and coat on the back of the seat in front of me. “I’m just going to go get my drink.” The line is short and she’s back a few minutes later.

  I would like to say that I spent those minutes clearing my head, but dinner with Dillon is still weighing on my mind.

  “Is your drink bright pink?” I ask Aurora as she sits.

  “It’s a Starbucks’ Refreshers. No caffeine for me.”

  “I’m sorry.” I pull my warm extra black coffee into my arm; it’s my third of the morning.

  “Amorino loved his coffee too. It has been hard for him to give up,” she says with a rueful smile.

  I school my face as I consider the many, many cups of coffee that Amorino still drinks every day at work. “I didn’t realize he was cutting back,” I say lightly.

  “We’re trying for a baby and It’s not happening as fast as I wanted,” she tells me and pouts a little. “I have been reading and we have agreed to make some changes. Actually, at the paint-and-sip the other night, that was the first drink I had had in months. But I needed it.”

  I take a few sips of coffee, covering my frustration with slurping. I feel bad for Aurora. I don’t want to be her friend, but if I can help her, I feel I should.

  “I’m sorry, this has to be so awkward after your big falling out and all,” she says.

  I still have no idea what story Amorino spun to justify my presence in his work life. “Life is just complicated for me right now. Why are we having coffee?” I know It’s rude and straightforward, but I just don’t care.

  Aurora seems to have picked up on the mood. “I can tell that you don’t like me,” she smirks. “A lot of women are jealous of me. I’m used to it. And I’m sorry I guilted you into this, but at the paint-and-sip the three of you seemed honestly interested in my happiness. Especially Lynda. And your advice … I didn’t do exactly what you said. But it worked! I just want to pick your brain one more time.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I gave him a little something to hunt,” she says and blushes.

  I tried to channel my inner Dillon and come up with something nice to say. “You go girl,” I finally get out.

  “He also mentioned that he would like me to be a little more creative in the bedroom department.” She blushes harder.

  I felt an eyebrow arch. “Did you guys have a good talk?
” I wonder on the timing. Did Amorino take my advice?

  “Well, I wouldn’t say a good talk.” Aurora purses her lips. “But I know that maybe a few things need to change. I don’t really talk about … um … well …”

  “Sex?”

  Aurora vigorously nods. She can’t even say the word and Amorino likes to fuck in every location and way humanly conceived. Shit. “Are you sure you and Amorino are meant for each other?” It was the wrong question.

  “Of course,” Aurora affirms.

  I spend the next fifteen minutes listening to her magical story about how they met and everything he did while they were dating for seven months before he proposed and they were married three months later. She finally ends with, “When you know, you just know.”

  “You didn’t even date for a year before he asked you?” I ask casually.

  “I know, the two of you were off and on for years in high school,” she says with a quick smile. “Don’t feel bad – that’s how you know it wasn’t right.”

  I dated Amorino in high school? “Well, he’s a very different person now than he was back then.” At least that much is honest. I shouldn’t be covering for Amorino, though; what’s wrong with me? Aurora deserves to know.

  “Anyway,” she says. “I’m here for more advice … more candid advice.”

  “Are you asking me what Amorino likes in bed?” I can’t believe this is happening.

  “Yes.” Aurora’s cheeks turn a dark scarlet. “That’s more straightforward than I was going to put it. But yes.”

  “Aurora, does anything seem off about all of this?” I finally ask. “I know Amorino has explained everything to you, but isn’t it weird that you had to find out we were working together for yourself? And he was ready with an answer.”

  “Amorino said that you might say something like that.” Her blush is gone and her voice turns to steel. “But I’m used to dealing with jealousy. And just because you can’t get over him doesn’t mean that he’s having an affair with you or anyone else. After seeing me, he doesn’t even know what he saw in you. But no man is perfect. He learned from his mistakes.”