“Bullshit.” Blade slapped his hand against the table. “For this to work, you have to be forthcoming with me.”
He wasn’t making any sense. My only agreement was with Tristan and Callie. Not Blade. “For what to work?”
“You don’t really believe you’re going to play nice with that little bitch and she’ll give you everything you want, do you?” He waited for a reaction. “Oh shit, Holly, you can’t really think that. I thought you wanted justice for Cash. And your power back.”
“I do.” The tightrope I walked between light and darkness frayed.
“What’s your plan to get your fire back? How’d you get it in the first place?”
Oh, he went there. Blade might not play games, but he had no problem slinging mud. “Noah raped me,” I said between gritted teeth.
“I’d rip his head off and let you drink his blood if it would give you back what you lost.” Blade waved off the waitress, but she was already backing away from the table. Security would be ushering us out in a matter of minutes. “You like that idea more than you’ll ever admit. Let me tell you a secret.”
“I’m tired of secrets.”
“Then it doesn’t have to be a secret.” His grin ripped my life apart, shred by shred. “No one else can do what we do. They can’t feel what we feel. Extreme emotion stokes the fire. So you can try to play it safe and do the right thing with this new show. But you’ll walk on that stage, with all those people cheering for you, and you’ll disappoint them. Again. Your cushy contract won’t mean jack shit if you don’t put yourself out there and take what’s yours.”
“That’s what Rachel said.” When Cash had first sent Blade to me, angry and confused, he always knew emotion was the ignition switch. Now he was just angry, no longer confused, and he held my fire hostage.
“Rachel will be The Mistress soon enough. It’s probably in your best interest that you don’t piss them both off. Callie might be using you—”
“You never finished that theory.” I couldn’t wait to hear this one.
“No matter what I think about Callie, her position in the city is shaky. She’s not experienced. She doesn’t understand the rules of the game. I’m not the only one taking swipes at her. A woman will be the one who takes everything from her. That’s how the clans work. But in the meantime, I’ve got no problem taking her down at the knees. Set someone else up to take her place.” Blade drummed on the table. It was distracting as hell. “She’ll do whatever she can to prove she can handle the clan. You’ve made her into a fool not once, but twice. If she’s smart, which is debatable, she’ll use you as an example. You won’t make it through one show.”
I leaned back in the booth and closed my eyes. His theory made too much sense not to be right.
“I want the show.” And I thought Blade wanted it for me, too. By stepping on the stage of Sin City Vampire Club, I proved I was the most powerful vampire in the city, and I wasn’t even all vamp. “How are you going to help me get it?”
Chapter Twenty-Four
“THERE ARE OTHER OPTIONS besides working with those assholes,” Blade said as we slid out of the booth and headed to the anonymity of the casino. “They’re setting you up to fail.”
“I want to be a part of something that makes people excited, not a last option for desperate blood junkies that need a fix.” I crossed my arms in front of me so we wouldn’t have any excuse to hold hands. Something bubbled inside me that I was all too familiar with, but it wasn’t the time or the place for it. The last thing I needed was to shoot off a pathetic little spark in front of Blade, so he knew exactly how much of an advantage he had over me.
He chuckled and put his arm around my waist. I should’ve wriggled away. “We want the same things,” he insisted. We stopped in the middle of the casino floor, in front of a mirror that had been cut to make it look like we were surrounded by an army of people who looked just like us. “Embrace is a safe place—”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” I broke away from him and headed for the front door. I needed air.
“I wouldn’t kid about something this serious.” He had no problem catching up to me. He walked backward in front of me on the outside of the hotel. The lights from the awning shined on him in hues of red, orange, and pink. With his fangs poking out of his grin, he looked like the embodiment of evil. I peeked at the people walking by us to see if they noticed, but no one did. “I can make you a star,” he added.
“How? You have no experience in the entertainment business. No connections. I’m not sure if you even have friends.” I regretted saying that part out loud. “Do you have any friends, Blade?”
Now his eyes were red for real. “More than you’ll ever know,” he growled.
I nodded, swallowing hard to keep myself from saying any more stupid things. I wasn’t sure where we were going, but I headed away from the Alta Vista. Blade didn’t have any friends there.
“There are theaters in every hotel on this street.” Blade hadn’t taken my insult to heart. “The next big show is up for grabs now that all the vampire shows have closed. Humans can’t get enough of that. All the dark and dirty shit people are too afraid to try in their boring lives; they come here and pay through the nose to see us do it. Vampires have ins at every single one of those theaters. One of my friends, who I’ve taken care of quite nicely at Embrace, might be able to help us out.”
Might. He was talking out his ass to get me to abandon The Afterlife. This wasn’t about Blade triumphing over Callie, it was about not losing to Tristan. Again.
The next casino had slot machines accessible from the sidewalk. I pulled money out of my purse because I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. All we did was go around in a circle, and I was dizzy. I pulled the lever, it was much more fun than hitting the button, and took my chances. I’d never gambled so much in my life.
Blade sighed and leaned against the machine. “I ruin everything I touch.”
I looked up at him, not sure I heard him right. He frowned and hit the button for another spin. That should’ve been my gamble, but I didn’t argue. He didn’t win anything.
“That’s not true,” I said, not sure if he heard me.
He pulled me out of the chair with one hand and cashed me out with the other. “Then walk away from Tristan’s show.” He held me so close to him. It would be nothing to lean in for a kiss, to feel his lips against mine, the soft hair of his beard against my cheek. No. He’d cast a spell over me and he didn’t even know it. “Come live in my world. I’ll make you a queen.”
So tempting. He knew all the right things to say. But his subjects would turn on us too, if we couldn’t satisfy their hunger. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” he asked. We were back on the sidewalk, dodging tourists. Now I was happy to clutch Blade’s hand. I pretended this was a perfectly normal date. Like anything about us was normal. I didn’t want to bump into anyone I didn’t know. Nothing guaranteed they were human, and that skin on skin contact wouldn’t cause me to ignite. If I could be so lucky. Blade gave me a chance to answer, but it should have been obvious.
He wanted to reign over a steaming hellhole and I wanted to wear a headdress.
“Tell me what’s so great about your life now that you wouldn’t trade in for a fresh chance?” He stopped, taking both my hands and leading us over to the stone embankment in front of the next hotel. “Don’t take that the wrong way. But you live in a tiny apartment, you’re compromising your principles to work with a woman who killed your father, and a man who’d rather see me dead than help me succeed. That’s what they wanted to do with me, Holly. I’m only here because Callie was too chicken shit to go through with it.”
My blood ran cold. Blade had to have felt it under his grip. This wasn’t the time to tell him she got over her fear of taking life, or about what happened to the rest of Immortal Dilemma. “You’ve killed people, too.”
“I have. But I’m honest about what I’ve done. Some of them were mistakes, I’ll admit
that. They got in the way and they didn’t deserve to die. If you’re on my side, no one will ever hurt you.” He moved my braid off my shoulder and it fell heavily on my back. His gaze fell to my neck. Cold or not, he wanted my blood. No, that wasn’t enough for him. He wanted everything I had. “What’s stopping you?”
It was so simple, and he shouldn’t have had to ask. “Rainey.”
He sucked in oxygen he didn’t need. “The two of you belong together. I’ll offer her the same protection I offer you.”
At one time, Rainey had said the same thing about Blade. That was before they got to know each other. I laughed. “You’re talking out your ass. You have less than I do. Where have you been sleeping?”
His grip tightened on my hair. “At Embrace.”
He was sleeping on that sticky, bloody floor. No pillow, no blanket. No comfort. Nothing but darkness. It probably wasn’t that bad. Maybe there was a couch in the back room, but I shuddered to think what had taken place on it. “You’re always welcome to stay at our house. I know the closet sucks, but if it was a permanent thing, we could do better. Get you an air mattress or something?”
“You really think I could sleep that close to you all the time? I haven’t stopped thinking about our last sleepover. Listening to Rainey fuck you against the door. I almost burned your house down that night. I wanted it to be me. What did she use to make you thrash around like that? Her mouth? Her hand? Something else?” His voice was husky and I pulsed like Rainey was still inside me. I could taste her on my lips, but the flavor mingled with Blade’s desire. His fangs showed when he licked his lips, and he didn’t bother to conceal his hunger. “You’re different with her than you are with me. She brings you to places I can’t reach.”
Now the warm and tinglies felt good. “Yeah, she does.”
“Do you know why that is? When we’re together, we can’t control ourselves. That’s where the flames come from. But when you’re with her, she controls you.”
“That’s not true.” I tried to tug away from him. I wanted to go inside the hotel, hoping it offered some safety, but Blade held me in his grasp. “She hates you, that’s all.”
He laughed. Shit. It wasn’t supposed to be funny. Rainey stood in the way of everything Blade wanted. If he hurt her, I’d... kill him. My heart skipped a beat when I realized it, but I’d never been more certain of anything.
“Say she wasn’t in the picture.” I didn’t like where he was going with this at all. “You wouldn’t give a shit about doing the right thing. You’d get your fire back and take what was yours. You’d grab it by the throat and choke the life out of it until it begged you for mercy.”
Heat rose inside me. I pushed it down because he couldn’t be right about this. Rainey couldn’t be the only goodness inside me. I refused to believe I was purely evil. “Is that how you do it?”
“No. I lure them on the premise of what they want. It’s easy—usually they’re desperate to get laid. They offer themselves to me.” He let his fangs hang out again. “Their blood is mine for the taking. That’s what you want, Holly. The sooner you admit it yourself, the easier your life will be.”
He hit the nail on the head. He accused me in the past of wanting to make everyone happy, like it was a bad thing. I wanted much more that. I longed to be the center of attention. An addiction that kept them coming back for more. It was no secret that was what endeared me to Rainey. Our worlds orbited around each other.
If I could give him a taste of that, he’d understand my love for Rainey. But to do so, her trust would be violated. No. I’d keep her closer than ever now that I knew our relationship had an expiration date. I refused to believe the same for our love. It was the only thing that made me believe forever existed.
Blade needed that in his life. To be someone’s everything. He’d been chewed up and spit out time after time. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I wondered if evil dwelled inside Blade when he was human, too.
Every hotel in Vegas had a water feature out front. It was supposed to be for luck, the never-ending flow of money or something like that. I never thought much about luck until recently. I’d been much more concerned with talent and hard work. Luck seemed like taking the easy way out.
An idea had been floating around in my head ever since we freed Blade from jail. I’d been afraid to say it out loud. If no one agreed, the possibility was gone forever. Having this chance, or in a weird way—luck—comforted me. And if I got my way, there was no telling what could happen.
Blade came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “If I had any coins, we could throw them in the fountain and make a wish.”
I turned into him. “Can I make a wish anyway?”
A breeze whipped a piece of his hair against his cheek, and it caught in his beard. Times like this I could forget he was a cold-blooded monster. “Can I make one first?”
“Sure.”
His gaze shifted to the water. “I wish you were mine.”
My heart swelled. “What if—” this was the best time to propose it “—we could all be together? You, me, and Rainey. When both of you touch me at the same time, like you did outside that bar, the fire rises. You sucked my blood, and Rainey kissed me, it was beautiful. It’s all I can think about. I wish we could make it work.”
Blade’s expression changed. “I’m looking for commitment, Holly.”
So was I. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“Rainey and I want different things for you.”
Understatement of the year. “I want things, too. Everybody’s so concerned about what everyone else wants for me, and no one asks me what I want. We’re drawn together because of the fire—”
“Is that all it is?” He shook his head, disgusted. But when he caught my gaze, there was only so long he could stay mad at me. I was burning, and I’d do anything for sparks to rain from my fingertips. I used to play with my fire before I realized how precious it was. I took it for granted, and now I had to make sacrifices.
“No. It’s supernatural and unexplainable. And it completes me. If you ask me, I’d say it’s a pretty big deal.” I wondered if he knew Gabriel had come to warn me, and eventually he’d take Rainey away. “But Rainey is my heartbeat.”
“I used to have one of those.”
“I know.” I put my hand on his chest and wished I felt something. Anything. “You can again. Think about it.”
We could have it all, once we decided what we were willing to give up to get it.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“YOU WANT TO DO WHAT?” Rainey had been sound asleep when I got home from my meeting with Blade, and my proposal had to wait until the next night. I was awake when I drove her to work, and I spent the rest of the day thinking about how to make this not sound insane.
“I want to invite Blade into what we have.” I sounded so much smoother last night when I told him. “He needs something good.”
“Good like what?” She raised an eyebrow, and from her clipped tone, I was pretty sure it didn’t matter what he needed.
“We need to stoke the emotion.” I’d never been afraid to look at her before. “With a lot of contact. What we did in the parking lot that night, when I ignited, I think we need to go all the way.”
“There’s no way I can say this nicely, and I won’t even try. No. Fucking. Way.” Rainey slammed a frying pan on the counter. “What the hell did he do to you last night?”
“Nothing.” I had to try to salvage this. It was the best way to get my fire back. Even if it wasn’t the easiest. “He tried to recruit me into the Embrace disaster. Insisted that I walked into a trap by signing on to the show with Tristan. Offered us protection.”
“We don’t need his protection.” Rainey opened and closed drawers, but didn’t take anything out. “This has gone far enough, Holly. He’s right. You probably have walked into a trap. I know you want your fire back, but it will cost you everything.”
The words she didn’t say hung heavy between us. Everything included her.
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I reached into the refrigerator and grabbed everything we needed for salad. But I couldn’t bring myself to do anything with it, like the night was normal. I proposed a threesome, and Rainey shut me down. And I’d probably never emit more than a spark. I hadn’t prepared myself for how much the reality of it would hurt.
Rainey pushed the vegetables aside and stood next to me. “Come on. What makes you think I want to have sex with Blade?”
I hadn’t explained myself well at all. Maybe there was still a chance. “No! You don’t have to. I wish you remembered what happened when Rachel commandeered your brain. You kissed me, and Blade sucked my blood. We were engulfed in flames.”
“It’s a good thing I wasn’t lucid.” She grimaced. “If I had been, I would’ve ripped him away from you and fed you every drop of blood he spilled.”
The pulsing started deep down inside. “How?”
“I would’ve cleaned it up with my finger and let you suck it off. Or lapped it up and fed it back to you.” Rainey was so close her lips practically moved against mine as she spoke. She shuddered. “What the hell is wrong with me that I think that’s sexy?”
“Nothing.” If she was into that, there was a chance for this crazy idea to work. “I’m about to slice my finger so you can show me how you’d do it.”
“Don’t you dare.” She laughed, but it ended in a kiss. It probably was only supposed to be a peck, but Rainey’s actions spoke louder than her words ever would. “It would never work.”
“You’re not even giving it a chance.” I was pushing my luck. But if Rainey was interested in blood, there was something in it for her. At least, that’s what I’d keep telling myself.
“I already have. Blade turns me into a person I don’t like very much.”
Interesting. “How so?”
“He makes me jealous and mean.” She reached for one of the big knives and took out her frustrations on the head of lettuce. “Holly, you know I’ll do anything for you, but you can’t ask me to give up what we have to accommodate him. I’m shaking mad thinking about him touching you.”
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