Pushing Over 40

by S M Mala

‘I’m well shot of the baby thing now, thank goodness.’

  ‘You’re lucky you found the right person to have your gorgeous daughters with, I, on the other hand, have yet to do that.’ Maya looked around the room and saw a picture of his wife who had auburn hair and large blue eyes. ‘She’s beautiful.’

  ‘Yes she was,’ he said, looking at the same picture. ‘But life has a strange way of treating you, sometimes.’

  ‘Tell me about it.’

  Again, they sat in silence as Maya examined the room and she felt him watching her eyes move across the surroundings.

  ‘Another question,’ she said, turning to him as he bit his bottom lip.

  ‘I’m ready.’

  ‘You said your wife wanted another child, so how comes you got a vasectomy?’

  Tony laughed loudly and shook his head.

  ‘I shouldn’t have told you that, it’s not a great chat up line,’ he said, moving closer. ‘When she got ill, Emily was devastated so I thought to support her, I’d have a vasectomy to show her if she couldn’t have kids anymore, then I wouldn’t.’

  ‘Oh my god!’ Maya said, grabbing her chest. ‘That’s very romantic.’

  ‘Getting my tubes cut?’ shaking his head in disbelief. ‘It hurt. But the pain was nothing compared to what she was going through.’

  ‘I think that speaks volumes about how much you loved your wife,’ Maya quietly said. ‘I wish someone would do that for me.’

  ‘After they’ve impregnated you,’ Tony said, double blinking.

  ‘Of course! When I miscarried I was completely shocked. It’s not like losing your wife, the person you loved most in the world, but losing a baby is like losing your hope for the future. A bit of you dies in a way.’

  ‘Life can be crap sometimes. Want a refill?’

  ‘Yes please.’

  Tony got up and walked to the fridge as Maya followed with her glass.

  ‘Where are your daughters?’ asked Maya, feeling a little light headed from the wine and a bit of honest conversation.

  ‘They don’t live with me. They come home for weekends from University or when they’re not partying and I’ve a pretty healthy social life.’

  ‘Have you started dating again or aren’t you bothered?’

  Maya sipped her wine and examined the man standing in his kitchen, perfectly matching the sleek look behind him.

  ‘I’ve been doing things for a while,’ he nodded with a wry smile.

  ‘That’s good.’

  ‘It has been pretty interesting.’

  ‘Finding your feet and other bits?’ she said before he started to laugh.

  ‘It’s like riding a different sort of bike to the one you’re used to but I’m getting there.’

  ‘Say no more. Though, between you and me, you’re not supposed to call women bikes.’

  ‘As you get older there are less mind games. You know what you want and you go for it.’

  ‘Then I must be transgressing,’ she said, surprised he had a small stud earring. ‘When did you get your ear pierced?’

  ‘When I was fourteen. My parents went ape shit but I didn’t care. I thought I was going to be a rock star so I did it.’

  ‘Seriously,’ she laughed. ‘What happened?’

  ‘Things changed. I studied journalism then one thing led to another and I ended up doing what I do now, though I’d prefer to publish great novels and play my guitar.’

  The next thing she knew, he bent down and kissed her gently on the lips, making her jump.

  ‘Oh,’ she said, stepping backwards, holding her hands in the air. ‘I’m giving you the wrong impression, aren’t I? I know I need to get knocked up but that doesn’t mean I’m rampant.’

  ‘Kiss me,’ he said smiling, his face close to hers.

  ‘I don’t know you,’ she said, trying to breathe calmly.

  ‘I know more about you than your brother, apparently.’

  ‘I’m not an easy lay,’ she said defensively.

  ‘That’s something we have in common then.’

  ‘Okay,’ she said, swallowing hard.

  Maya moved forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips as he grabbed her waist and smothered his mouth with hers before they both slipped their tongues in. She couldn’t pull away as he wasn’t letting go.

  Her libido had gone into over drive.

  He pushed her up against the wall and kissed her, his arms wrapped around her while she carefully placed her hand on his back. She didn’t think it was going to stop but wasn’t complaining.

  The man was grinding his groin into hers and he was very firm in that area as her hands went straight up the back of his shirt and she felt smooth skin.

  It had been a long time.

  Then she felt him gently squeezing her breasts as she knew she was panting. Tony then pulled back as Maya stood there, a little hazy and sipped her drink.

  ‘As we seem to be cutting out the dance I thought I’d go straight for what I’d like to happen in a few hours, days or weeks,’ he smiled and pulled her closer again this time taking the drink out of her hand. ‘At our combined age of ninety three, I think we’re a little old to wait, don’t you?’

  ‘What do you mean?’ she asked, knowing full well what she wanted to happen next, feeling a little throb between her legs.

  ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ he smiled.

  ‘I’m on the end of a period and I don’t know you that well,’ she bluntly announced. ‘And this isn’t a good idea because my family live next door.’

  ‘You don’t want this?’

  ‘Depends what ‘this’ is.’

  ‘After Emily died, I realised life was too short to wait. You’ve got to take each opportunity as it comes. I could take you out for a few times and we could get to know each other but I’d rather take you to bed to see if there’s a little spark which I know there is. Is that too blunt for you?’ he smiled, kissing her cheek. ‘Now you can tell me to sod off if you want.’

  ‘Don’t blame me if your sheets get dirty.’

  ‘I’ve got really good stain remover and a machine that does a hot wash.’

  ‘I don’t usually do things like this… I’m a bit of a prude,’ she said, looking at him, inches away from his face.

  ‘Neither do I. Don’t get the impression I invite people over and ply then with drink,’ he said, kissing her neck.

  ‘I’m not prepared for this,’ she replied, trying to act composed knowing she wasn’t.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I haven’t waxed or trimmed for the occasion. It’s been such a long time and when I go to the clinic I don’t see the point of making an effort,’ she nervously laughed.

  ‘Are you trying to put me off?’ Tony laughed. ‘It’s not working.’

  ‘I wanted you to know.’

  ‘Just let me know what makes you happy and we’ll be fine, other than a baby of course.’

  ‘Of course,’ she gulped as he kissed her again and gently slipped his hand inside her top going straight to the skin as he squeezed her breast.

  Maya looked at him and smiled before saying, ‘which way to bed?’

  They managed to get to the bedroom, grappling each other, as he pushed her on to the bed and pulled off her clothing while she unbuttoned his shirt and noticed he had some hairs on his chest, which were only slightly grey. She felt him tug at her jeans so she quickly pulled them down, kicking them off, laying there in her underwear, as they kissed each other, touching and fondling.

  His lips traced her neck as he undid her bra. When his mouth captured her nipple, she could have had an orgasm there and then. He was the oldest man she’d ever slept with and realised what she’d been missing out.

  Every time he touched her she was turned on.

  ‘We better not make much noise,’ she said, realising his bedroom was close to her brother’s spare bedroom on the other side of the wall.

  ‘I’ll try not to disturb them,’ he whispered before moving down her chest and squeezing her br
east while his other hand stroked her bottom. ‘You can make as much noise as you like.’

  Maya felt him push his groin into hers and she gasped for a moment as he rubbed his crotch over hers. He felt like he had a massive hard on which she wanted to be buried deep inside her.

  ‘Another thing,’ she said, trying to catch her breath as he sucked on her breasts.

  ‘Yes,’ he said, completely engrossed in what he was doing.

  ‘Have you got any condoms?’ she asked as he stopped and looked at her.

  ‘Condoms?’

  ‘Yes, you know those rubber things you use to prevent germs,’ she said, wishing he wouldn’t stop touching her boobs. ‘Sperm or no sperm, you have to be careful.’

  ‘I see… I have some in the bathroom.’

  ‘Where?’

  ‘In the cabinet.’

  ‘I’ll get them. Where’s the bathroom?’

  ‘Through that door. I’ll go and get them.’

  ‘No, I have to do something.’

  Maya stood up quickly and rushed through the door, quickly rummaging around the cabinet to find a packet then sat on the toilet, having a quick pee, pulling out her tampon and wiping the surrounding area.

  She looked down and wished at times like this she had trimmed her bush for the impromptu occasion. Walking back in, he was lying under the covers and she noticed his clothes were on the floor.

  ‘You’re not ready,’ he smiled and looked down at her.

  ‘Oh,’ she said and quickly took her knickers off throwing them over her head before diving under the covers and putting her head on the pillow. ‘I’d usually be embarrassed but I hardly know you so it’s okay.’

  ‘Where were we?’ he said and kissing her again, this time rubbing his hands up and down her body and moving his head down to nibble on her breasts and lick her chest.

  ‘I’ve got these,’ she said, holding the condoms in her hand then felt his fingers travel between her legs. ‘Be careful, I don’t want you to get-.’

  ‘I have a stain remover, like I said,’ he smiled and she felt his fingers as he gently tried to arouse her.

  Slowly he touched her and searched for her nub. She knew she was very wet and so did he from his grin. His lips touched her neck and went down back to her breasts as he started to rub her faster all the while sucking on her nipples.

  Maya knew her thighs were spread far apart as the groin tightened and she knew what was going to happen. Slowly she let go and felt the womb busting orgasm pulsate through her body as she came on his finger tips and he kissed her lips very gently.

  ‘For someone who’s getting to know how to ride a bike, you certainly push the pedals well,’ she groaned.

  ‘Wait till I ride you,’ he laughed grabbing the packet of condoms from the side and put one on as she tried to catch her breath.

  ‘Now for the bike ride,’ he smiled, before diving in and quickly thrusting away as Maya lay there in slight shock about what was going on before she realised that he might not be full of sperm but he was definitely was filling her up to her heart’s delight.

  She held onto his shoulders as he pushed her knees back and then held her arms over her head. The man was humping her with slow long strokes and she was totally gobsmacked at how he was working.

  ‘God yes!’ he said and flung his head back for a moment before looking down at her as he came with a faint smile on his lips and she realised he was a nice neighbour, after all.

  ‘How long did it take me to have sex with you?’ she asked as they lay there facing each other, drinking wine in bed an hour later. ‘You know it usually takes me a few weeks and a couple bottles of wine plus a kebab, can’t go forgetting that.’

  ‘I have to admit it’s a bit of a record for me too,’ he said, stroking her shoulder before leaning over and gently kissing her breast.

  ‘Did I look desperate?’ she asked, hoping no one was in next door considering the amount of noise they made in the early evening.

  ‘I knew,’ he said smiling at her. ‘That’s the good thing with age you start to see things clearly and you’re a very sexy lady. I knew you’d be good and I wasn’t wrong.’

  ‘And here was I thinking it all became out of focus, as my optician pointed out to me the other day but it was all a blur,’ she chuckled before glowing at his flattering words.

  ‘How long have you been lusting over Adam?’ he asked, looking straight at her.

  ‘Pardon me?’

  Maya was stunned by the question.

  ‘Adam?’ he smiled. ‘It’s pretty obvious you know.’

  ‘I see.’

  She sat up in his bed and looked down at him.

  ‘We’re cutting out the crap, aren’t we?’ Tony sipped his wine and let his head gently fall to the side.

  ‘He strings me along,’ she began, feeling a little uncomfortable for the first time that evening. ‘We used to go out and have fun even though he’s a baby compared to me. Every time I thought we were close he’d get a new girlfriend.’

  ‘How much younger is he?’

  ‘The brat is seven years younger on paper, mentally about fifteen years to be honest.’

  ‘And you and Adam never slept together then?’

  ‘No,’ she said, feeling a little disappointed. ‘He doesn’t find me attractive.’

  ‘But you still fancy him?’

  ‘He has a strange effect on me considering I’ve known him since he was twenty three. He’s full of shit.’

  ‘And it’s just lust is it?’ he said, sitting up.

  ‘Lust and loathing I call it.’

  ‘Maya,’ he asked, moving closer to her and kissing her on the nose and face. ‘I know you’re giving your clinic a rest for a couple of months but how about we have some fun while you’re recouping.’

  ‘You want to do this again?’ she smiled, quite looking forward to another session.

  ‘Don’t you want to?’

  ‘That’d be nice but we have to keep it quiet if that’s okay,’ she said, kissing him gently on the lips. ‘As we get to know each other better.’

  ‘You don’t want Adam to find out?’

  ‘Like he’d care!’ she dismissed then sighed. ‘I don’t want your neighbours to find out.’

  ‘Do you want to stay here tonight?’

  ‘I better go home.’

  ‘Not yet,’ he said and grabbed her head as he kissed her. ‘I feel like another ride coming on.’

  ‘Oh well, who am I to stop you from exercising?’

  Now

  She stared at herself in the mirror and double blinked. Maya didn’t recognise the tired and old looking woman in front of her with dark circles surrounding a pair of puffy eyes. With all her might she tried to smile but before the ends of her mouth could turn up, she started to cry again and looked down into the basin.

  Maya opened the cabinet, glancing at the pills and empty sample bottles she had saved for her urine tests. The surplus amounts of pregnancy vitamin tablets were piled up. Her first reaction was to throw them away as they obviously didn’t work but she slammed the medicine cabinet shut catching her reflection again.

  This time it was of a woman tragically crying because the pain inside her was too much to cope with, her face creased as her mouth gaped open and spit dripped down her chin.

  She fell to the floor and covered her face, screaming once again into her hands as her body shook with grief.

  Then

  Maya laid out all the snacks and opened a few bottles of wine in preparation for her group to arrive. It was 6.30pm and they’d get there in the next half hour. She stopped for a moment and remembered her night before with Tony, trying to get it out of her head but getting excited when she thought about the sex.

  The man was hot between the sheets and her thighs.

  Maya called Shona.

  ‘Hello there,’ Shona said gleefully. ‘Babe go into the other room.’ Maya heard a teenage boy strop as Shona laughed while a door was banged shut. ‘What happened last nigh
t then? Did he take you to dinner?’

  ‘He took me to bed,’ Maya laughed and heard Shona scream.

  ‘You filthy bitch! What happened?’

  ‘I have no idea. One minute we were talking and the next we were in bed and he’s utterly, utterly fantastic,’ Maya sighed. ‘I can’t remember having sex like that in … well ever.’

  ‘The older man knows what he’s doing whereas the younger ones still fiddle with your bits as if trying to tune a radio or something.’

  ‘Only I could end up shagging a sperm less man,’ laughed out Maya. ‘It’s ridiculous.’

  ‘Are you going to see him again?’

  ‘Hopefully but you know how it is. He’s a widower who’s finding his feet and I’m not objecting to it as he has probably got goodness knows how many women on the go.

  ‘He’s older and wiser… that’d be a first for you as a boyfriend.’

  ‘Ha, ha, ha!’ then Maya heard a knock on the door. ‘Ladies are arriving, better go.’

  ‘Bloody hell, I’m really jealous.’

  ‘And I’m jealous of what you’ve got so we’ll swap later.’

  ‘You want to sleep with Rohan?’

  ‘Good god no… but I’d like to have a baby!’

  The women sat on the sofa and chairs drinking wine and tea as Maya handed out the hot snacks.

  ‘Next time let’s do it on a Friday or a Saturday so we can get legless,’ said Judy, taking the tray out of Maya’s hand and putting it on her lap.

  She shook her heavily dyed brown bob while she tried to smooth down her tight skirt which revealed her rounded tummy. Judy was plump and handsome. She’d travelled a few times to Dubai for some lifts and tucks on her face. Maya could never tell the difference of ‘before and after’ but it made her friend happy.

  ‘I agree,’ Maya said, topping up the glasses. ‘Who’s not drinking?’

  ‘We’re all drinking then?’ Judy sighed and looked at Natalie. ‘Even you?’

  ‘Even me,’ said a deflated Natalie.

  Her body language spoke volumes at another failed attempt at IVF as she sat slumped. She was very slight in build and her dark blonde hair was always cut just below her chin though she constantly tied the front away from her face, as would a kid in primary school.