Cupcakes and Crooked Spoons (Sweet Treats Book 3)

by Charity B.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “I just wanted to see the plane! You’ve kept me locked up for years. This is the first thing I’ve got to see other than my own house, in a long time!” His jaw clenches. Well, I’m mad too! “Today isn’t even my day, and you fucked me anyway! I hate it and it’s gross, so the least you could do is let me see your Goddamn plane!” I hear a loud slap and my cheek instantly stings hot.

  He hit my face. He’s never hit my face.

  “That will be the last time you speak to me that way.” He circles around behind us. “Toben, take off your shirt.”

  Toben’s going to get punished, not me. “No! I’m sorry, Logan!”

  He laughs, “You both know how this works, yet every time you plead.” All humor falls from his face. “Say one more fucking word and he will get it tenfold.”

  Why did I do that? Looking at Toben, I try to quietly communicate how sorry I am. He gives me a crooked smile and winks right before the whip crashes into him.

  Over and over Logan hits him while yelling at me that I’m the cause of his torment. Toben is much stronger and can handle pretty high levels of pain. Neither one of us has passed out in months.

  Finally, when Toben is spent and my face is wet, he stops. His chest lifts with each of his heavy breaths. “I was going to give you the next few days to relax.” He scoffs, “Not after that stunt.” Marching over to the movie seats, he rips up my doll and throws her against the wall.

  No!

  More tears burn. Not my doll!

  He storms to the door. “We’ll be landing soon, so get the rest you can. We have a fun forty-eight hours ahead of us.”

  As soon as he disappears from my view, I break position and lie on the floor next to Toben.

  “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I do such stupid things. I just got so mad.”

  “Don’t apologize, I’m proud of you.” Even though he tries to sound strong, I can hear the pain in his voice. “I gladly took that beating and I’m sorry about your doll.”

  I am too. It’s funny how much I cared about her, she was only a toy. Just like me.

  Logan didn’t lie. The next two days are agonizing. I’m so excited to get back to the basement and back to only once a week playdates.

  We step through my front door and my chest throbs at the sight of the missing chair. They’re both gone. Logan says Brian is locked away and will be for a long, long time.

  He’s still mad about what I did on the plane because he locks Toben in the cage.

  And it’s all your fault.

  She’s been getting harder and harder on herself as time goes on. I see the way she looks at herself in the mirror, the way she flinches every time Logan puts her down. I tell her she is pretty and smart, all the time, but she’s becoming less responsive to it. Her fingers are almost always scratched up and bloody and she’s had her nightmares almost every night this week because I’ve been locked up. She’s been blaming herself for it this whole time.

  She just crossed the line though, and now I’m pissed.

  “I swear to God, Tavin. I better not ever hear that shit again.”

  “It’s true though. I make him do those things by disobeying. Why can’t I just be a good plaything? You’re in there dirty and sore because I’m an idiot and opened my mouth.”

  Logan told me he thinks she has a neurological disorder that makes her head do the jerking thing. He calls it a ‘tic’ and right now it’s happening pretty badly.

  She’s been giving me major attitude this week and I don’t know where it’s coming from. I know she feels bad, and then she will bite my head off. We rarely get upset with each other so this has been a long week. I try not to piss her off even more, when she gets upset. I do my best to stay calm and she will usually relax pretty quickly. Although, her last few comments have crossed a line. Where did this come from? She’s never felt that she ‘asked for this’ before. I’m seething and I can feel my teeth grinding.

  Harshly, I breathe through my nostrils trying to regain my cool. “You are not any of the things he says you are and none of this is your fault. I can’t change the way you feel, but it hurts me to hear you say that stuff. So just know, if you keep talking like that, you’re not just affecting yourself.”

  She looks to the floor. “Okay.”

  I wish I could hug her, yet I have to settle for holding her hand. “Tav-”

  The telltale sound of the door unlocking sends her flying across the floor to her knees. Today isn’t our day and Morgan’s dead…so why is he here?

  “Hello, my playthings.”

  “Hello, Logan.”

  Greeting her first, he runs his finger across her jaw and down her neck before kissing her head. Walking to the cage, he unlocks and opens it for me. He tells her good bye and I wink at her.

  I wish I could tattoo that smile on my eyes so I could see it forever.

  Once we are upstairs, he hands me a stack of clothes and tells me to go shower. I obey and the water feels so good after being cramped in the cage. I finish quickly, so I don’t agitate him by making him wait, and meet him back downstairs. When we get into his new, black Bentley, Kyle is in the front seat. Now I know why they’re here. Logan has another Lotus and today is her initiation.

  We stop driving after about forty-five minutes and pull up to a two-story, tan house with dark brown trim. The neighborhood is nicer than ours and the house is well kept. I follow behind Kyle as we enter the nearly bare home and go up a set of stairs. I don’t think anyone lives here, either. There’s barely any furniture and the house feels too still.

  We turn left at the top and Logan unlocks the first door on the right.

  The room is empty and plain. The walls are white and the floor is wood. The bed is simple with a white blanket. A wooden nightstand and a small fridge complete the room.

  Logan drops the infamous black duffel on the floor.

  “Do you think making me look for you is wise, Nicole?”

  A little voice squeaks from under the bed. “Nikki.” She crawls out and stands. Throwing her shoulders back, she lifts her chin. “My name is Nikki. Are you the guy who thinks he’s my Master?”

  “Master implies that you are a slave. Slave implies you are a person. You’re no longer a person. You are a plaything. My plaything.”

  Her long, strawberry-blonde hair is up in a ponytail and she’s wearing nothing besides a slip. She’s already marked up.

  “I’ll tell you what I told the last guy: screw you!”

  I can’t believe her audacity. Logan squeezes her neck and throws her to the floor, slamming her on her knees.

  “I have no patience for defiance, little Lotus. Now, take off the slip.”

  “Just wait till my father finds me, you sicko! He’s gonna kill you!”

  Wait…what?

  Logan laughs as he turns to me and nods. “Hold her down.”

  I go to obey, and when she looks at me, my steps falter. She slits her eyes.

  “Who are you?”

  “A toy, just like you.”

  She scoffs. “Speak for yourself.”

  She’ll see soon enough. She has no idea who she is dealing with. I hold her arms and for a moment, I flashback to mine and Tav’s initiation. Logan crouches down to her level and she spits in his face.

  Oh, fuck. This girl has a death wish.

  He punches her in the gut causing her body to heave forward and she lets out a pained groan. He pushes himself up with force as he dashes to the bag and yanks out his stethoscope. He only used it the one time on Tavin. It must be part of his initiation ritual.

  Placing it to her heart, his creepy as fuck smile appears.

  “You put on a brave front, little Lotus, though the sputtering of your heart sings a different song.”

  Her eyes go wide and she tries with all of her might to pull away from me as Logan undoes his pants. I thought I was getting used to this after seeing it a hundred times with Tav and Morgan, and still, this is so intense. Up until this momen
t, she believed her father was going to barge through that door. When Logan takes everything away and she realizes it isn’t going to happen, in that moment, I could feel her faith shatter.

  I forgot how it sounded when someone’s innocence gets ripped away. It’s the worst sound in the world. I try with all my might to hold back the tears for this girl. She’s fighting with everything she has and I just keep hoping that they will shoot her up soon to temporarily stop her torture.

  I forgot how he used to always scream at Tavin to look at him. She just does it now and so did Morgan. Nikki keeps squeezing her eyes shut, refusing to give him anything he asks for. I’m worried he’s going to kill her, her rebellion is the gas to his flaming fury. I hate the way he speaks.

  “Look how pretty your body is. Look!”

  The things he says are so vile, I try to tune it out. Finally, he tells Kyle to get the stuff.

  “Get ready to fly, Nikki,” I whisper in her ear.

  Her eyes rip open and burn her hate into me. I’m grateful that Logan has finally climbed off of her to smoke a cigarette. I need her to know that I don’t want this. As quietly as I can, I say, “I’m sorry. I’m doing this to save my best friend. A girl just like you.”

  Her eyes are so sad, the feisty girl from a couple of hours ago is gone. Before she has a chance to respond, Kyle starts tying her off. She’s so scared, she thinks she knows what’s about to happen, but she’ll see…this is the good part.

  The remainder of the evening is much more tolerable. She isn’t in pain or conscious, so when Logan brands and takes the piece of skin from the top of her wrist, all she does is mumble.

  He picks up her bloody body and places her on the bed. He’ll change the sheets tomorrow. Kissing her head, he tells her, “Welcome to your new life, Lotus.” He reaches into his pocket and places a sucker next to her head, just like he did with Tavin.

  Logan picks up the bag and hoists it over his shoulder as he and Kyle stroll out her door. We have her blood all over us and I know that there’s no way he’s letting us touch a foot in his car like this, so why are we just leaving? I’m pretty sure one of the doors in her room leads to a bathroom.

  I stand next to Kyle in the hall while Logan locks her door. He digs a towel and some clothes out of the bag. “There’s a bathroom down the hall, hurry and get cleaned up.” He shoves the clean garments into my hands.

  “Isn’t there a bathroom in her room?”

  He lets out a frustrated sigh. “That’s not how it’s done, now go fucking shower.”

  Logan is back in his suit when I meet him downstairs. There’s something about Nikki that I like and that isn’t a good thing. It makes me curious about her situation, so I ask while Kyle is still in the shower.

  “Logan?”

  He exhales a drag. “Yes?”

  “What’s her story?”

  Seemingly contemplating his response, he says, “I bought her from a dealer. I do that occasionally when I have difficulty finding my own. She was a decent price and the age that I prefer. Her father thinks she’s dead so there is nobody looking for her.”

  “Whose house is this then?”

  “Mine.”

  I don’t know why this seems so much worse. With Tavin, Morgan, and I, we were all fucked from day one, but Nikki has a parent that gives a shit. She has a loving home. I almost forgot those existed.

  When I get back to Tavin, I turn up what has officially become our song. Miss You by Blink 182 floods the basement as I hold her hand and dance with her across our room. I hold her tight as I smell her hair.

  She’s worth it all. All the fucked up shit I’ve done and all the fucked up shit I’m destined to do.

  One year and five months later—September, 2005

  I KEEP MY REACTION TO a small groan as the drops of boiling water splash against my skin. I barely have to try to stay quiet with the sprinkler, it’s much less agonizing than most of the other tools. It’s the whip I know Toben will be slicing across my stomach at any second, that will test me.

  Whoosh! Crack!

  That begs for more of a scream. I swear Toben is getting rougher and hitting harder. He sure didn’t let up with these ropes. Logan rarely has me tied up and when he does, it’s to a chair. It’s so uncomfortable and the familiar anxiety of just wanting this to be over settles in my gut.

  “Again!”

  Another full force smack with the whip. Oddly, I am beginning to anticipate the pain. I don’t exactly like it, I just don’t necessarily reject it either. It definitely still hurts, and somehow makes me feel more vibrant too. Like I’m worth something for the few moments the sting is on my skin.

  Logan drops the sprinkler to the floor and his mouth is all over me. This is so gross. I just try to imagine that Toben and I are somewhere else. Anywhere else. I dream of the sand between my toes and holding hands as we make our way down The Walk. How I always felt like I could fly when we would swing on the swings at the park. I think of the way I lick my lips after we kiss and it always tastes like his special flavor. He smokes when they go on their errands so sometimes there’s a little of that. I don’t mind it, I just wish it didn’t make me think of Logan.

  He’s got to be almost done so I allow myself to get excited. I hope he brought rock candy today, I love rock candy. It’s my favorite. He still only lets me have smack once a week, even though I know for a fact Toben has come home high more than once from their errand trips. At least he gives us pot. On a couple of special occasions, he has brought cocaine, and wowza, now that’s fun!

  Logan finishes inside me as he moans out what a whore I am. His sweaty body slides off of mine and when the cool air hits my wet skin I sigh, enjoying the relief.

  Without a word, he takes a stack of clothes into the bathroom. As soon as the door closes, Toben is next to me. He wipes away the wet hair that’s stuck to my face as he presses his lips against mine. His kisses have gotten a little harder and a little longer lately.

  He picks my dress up off the floor and hands it to me before he gets me a towel. We kneel on the floor, and hold hands until the bathroom door opens, then we snap apart and get them where they’re supposed to be.

  Logan barely looks at us, he seems sidetracked. “I’m in a hurry, I can’t stay.” He puts a black case and a balloon on my nightstand. He kisses my forehead and gruffly says, “Good night, Playthings,” before heading toward the stairs.

  What about the candy?!

  “Good night, Logan.” It sounds a bit odd to hear only Toben’s voice, we have always said it together.

  Did I do something wrong? Is he mad at me? Even when he punishes me, he gives me a treat so I know I still please him. Is he bored with me? Why does that scare me? I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I hate when he touches me, I just like the way he is sometimes and I want him to like me back. I want him to love me. My eyes start burning and I can’t stop myself from crying.

  He’s glaring at me because of my lack of response, but his face completely changes when he sees my tears.

  “Lotus?”

  I feel shattered, broken, worthless, useless.

  “What did I do?! I’m sorry, Logan, please don’t hate me!”

  He’s irritated when he snaps, “What are you talking about? I’m just in a hurry and this isn’t helping the situation.”

  “You…you didn’t give me any candy.”

  A smile fills up his whole face as a laugh pours from his throat. “Oh, Tavin, at times you can be so enchanting.”

  He rarely uses my name, so it assures me somehow. He reaches into the duffel and pulls out two clear baggies filled with rainbow colored jellybeans.

  “I simply forgot, I’ve had a busy day.” He hands us each our bag as he kisses my head again. “Now, I must go. Good night, my playthings.”

  “Good night, Logan,” we tell him.

  As soon as the door locks, we are up on our feet. I dig into the jellybeans and Toben goes to wash his hands. He comes out of the bathroom like a secret because I jump
when he slides his arms around my waist.

  “You ready to go?”

  I turn my head to the side and look up toward him as he places a kiss to my lips. “Yes.”

  We jump on the bed and when the works are ready, we press the needle into our veins. We untie ourselves and at the count of three we push bliss into our blood.

  It’s been hours, and the high has made its way back down, as we stare into each other’s gaze. “Are you still high?” he mutters.

  “Not really.”

  “Do you want a joint?”

  That sounds incredible!

  “Yeah!”

  The click of the lighter and the pungent leafy aroma already calms my nerves, as he pulls me next to him. His fingers trail along my neck as I puff on the joint.

  “God, you’re pretty.”

  He tells me that all the time. He just thinks I am because…well I don’t know why. It still makes me feel good and I smile before I pass the joint to him and let my lips tenderly touch his. He leans in deeper and turns his body against mine. The joint is still smoking in the hand that now caresses my hair. His body shifts to put the weed in the ashtray making his frame hover over mine. He becomes more aggressive with his mouth and I feel the weight of his body against me. We’ve never kissed like this before. It’s kind of nice, though. He lifts up and looks at me with a crooked smile before his lips go to my neck. This is definitely different.

  We kiss like that for a while, until I feel his hand on my thigh. I don’t know what to do, this is a new situation. He keeps moving his hand until it’s up my skirt. As soon as I feel his fingers, I freeze. I don’t want this, I just don’t want to hurt him. He’s starting to get determined and is so into it, he has no idea I want to scream for him to stop.

  Such a dirty girl.

  “Oh, Love, you’re so-Tav? Are you okay?”

  I can’t stop the moisture from filling my eyes. Why would he touch me there?! He knows I hate it!

  “Why would you do that?”