Hidden in the Heart: An LDS Novel

by Roseanne Evans Wilkins

  Chapter 2, Breakfast

  Cathee woke to morning light blazing across her bed. She shut her eyes against the light and croaked, “Christina, could you please close the drapes?”

  “Sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to know if I could see the zoo from here. Are we going soon?”

  “Right after breakfast.” Cathee rolled out of bed and walked barefoot to the dresser and pulled out jeans and underwear, stopping at the closet to grab a t-shirt. “I’m going to take a quick shower, then we can go down to breakfast. Why don’t you get ready for the day while I’m in the shower?”

  “Okay.”

  “You can turn on some cartoons while I’m getting dressed.”

  Christina ran to the TV to find the kids’ channel while Cathee was shutting the bathroom door. The blare of the TV was quickly drowned by the sound of running water.

  Thirteen minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom. Five minutes for the shower and five to curl her hair. Her makeup routine was minimal. She wasn’t interested in any men, but she felt naked without mascara on her blond eyelashes, brow liner, a light line of khaki green around her hazel eyes, a touch of color on her lips, and a dust of powder to hide the shine.

  “Christina, please brush out those snarls. We can’t go downstairs with your hair looking like that.”

  “Sorry, Mommy. I forgot.” She ran to the bathroom to grab her brush and spent the next few minutes working the snarls out of her curls. Unlike Cathee’s, Christina’s curls were natural. “Can we go now?” Christina twirled in front of Cathee to show off her hair.

  “You look beautiful.” Cathee bent down to kiss Christina’s forehead, tucked the key card into her purse, then they headed out the door.

  She checked the time on her cell phone while they were waiting for the elevator. It was almost 8. She’d meant to be down for breakfast by 7:30, but she’d forgotten to order a wakeup call, and her cell phone alarm wasn’t set for Saturday mornings.

  Time at the zoo was better spent during the relatively cool morning hours. Even though it was only mid-June, the Kansas sun got too hot later in the day. Hopefully, they could still make it to the zoo when the gates opened at 9:00. She wanted to be finished by noon. They could spend the afternoon doing something in air conditioned buildings.

  They had the elevator to themselves. Cathee didn’t like crowds, so she was grateful. As they stepped out onto the main floor, she suppressed a sigh. A line of guests snaked to the restaurant. Half the residents seem to have decided to eat just then. They joined the slow procession. Christina dipped her fingers in the fountain pool while they waited. She looked up at her mother. “Can we swim again tonight?”

  Cathee smiled. “That was fun, wasn’t it?” She paused while Christina nodded, then continued. “I’m not sure what our plans are for the day, so it depends on how late we get back and how tired I am.”

  Although Christina looked disappointed, she didn’t argue, and turned her attention back to the fountain. “I wish we could have a fountain at home.”

  Cathee replied absently, “That would be cool, wouldn’t it?”

  She was mentally planning the week. They would be leaving on Thursday. That didn’t leave a lot of time, but they should be able to get through all the places of interest by then. Tomorrow was Sunday. Other than a trip to church, she didn’t have any plans. She intended to serve cereal for breakfast and sandwiches for lunch and dinner, but she’d have to remember to buy a cooler for the milk and sandwich supplies. Their room wasn’t equipped with a fridge.

  By the time they were seated for breakfast, it was 8:20. The restaurant was full. As Cathee looked over the crowd, she didn’t see any other children. Normally, she wouldn’t have expected a Saturday to be this busy.

  She noticed a white board sign. “Welcome to the Annual Adoption and Family Therapy Conference.” She wondered what the conference included. Since there weren’t any other children in the room, families must not be attending. Maybe it was just for social workers and therapists. Another sign said “Golf Tournament 4:00. Social Hour 6:30. Dinner and RAD presentation 7:00 - 9:00. Garrett Andrews, Presenter.” Her brow furrowed. What on earth was RAD? Some clinical condition, she imagined.

  The arrival of their waitress interrupted her thoughts. “Hi. My name is Lilly. I’ll be your server this morning.” She smiled warmly. “Have you decided what you would like?”

  Cathee nodded and gave her order, then turned to Christina. “Did you want the French toast with maple syrup?” It was her usual choice when they ate out for breakfast.

  Christina’s long curls bounced as she nodded.

  Cathee turned to Lilly. “We’d both like hot chocolate as well. Thanks.”

  They had just started into their breakfast when they were interrupted.

  Garrett had watched as the honey blond woman and the dark haired girl had been seated. It wouldn’t be too hard to work his way into the restaurant and ask for a seat. All the tables were full.

  He stood at the side of the room watching, trying to plan an appropriate introduction. He’d run through several imaginary scenarios before the waitress returned with their drinks and appetizers. After the waitress left, he wove his way through the tables to the one where they were seated. He paused a moment before saying anything. He was surprised that his pulse was racing. He felt like a teenager on a first date. It was ridiculous, but he couldn’t stop his palms from sweating.

  The woman was reading the Wall Street Journal. Probably one that had been left at her room by the hotel. He noticed with some satisfaction that she wasn’t wearing jewelry. That doesn’t mean she isn’t married, he cautioned himself. Some women don’t like rings. He could feel his nerves tensing. It was now or never. “Hi.”

  Cathee looked up from the newspaper she’d been perusing, then carefully put down the spoon she had poised above her moist pink grapefruit. She raised a quizzical brow then hesitated a brief moment before saying, “Hello.”

  “There aren’t any empty tables. Mind if I join you?”

  Her glance raked over him, noting his clear blue eyes, sandy blond hair, and athletic physique. She didn’t recall ever seeing him before. He was almost as tall as...Then she stopped herself. She didn’t want to think of him. Not now. Not ever. Grudgingly, she replied, “I suppose not.”

  Some welcome, he thought. What did I expect? Her ice is going to take some time to thaw. He sat at the table across from the woman, nodded to the dark-haired child sitting beside her, then asked, “How old is she?”

  Cathee’s eyes narrowed suspiciously, but she answered. “Four.”

  “What’s her name?”

  She pressed her lips together, and a slight frown formed.

  The little girl blurted out, “Christina.” She bounced on her seat until Cathee turned her slight frown her direction, then Christina sat back quietly and stared at the man, a curious look in her brown eyes.

  “Where are you from?”

  Cathee shrugged. “All over.”

  Before this conversation–if it could be called that–had an opportunity to get much worse, the waitress appeared.

  “Hi. I’m Lilly. What would you like this morning?”

  “I’ll take whatever Ms.…?”

  “Laurenson.” Cathee’s lips turned up in an unwilling smile.

  “Ms. Laurenson is having.”

  As Lilly walked away, the man asked, “Does anything come before?”

  “Before what?”

  “Laurenson.”

  “Yes.” Another tight smile.

  She wasn’t going to budge on this one. “Is it Miss, Mrs. or Ms.?”

  The crease between her brows became more pronounced. She let out a frustrated sigh. “You can call me Cathee. That’s C A T H E E.” She paused for effect. “And I don’t like being called Cat.”

  The little girl was watching the exchange with interest, her wide eyes absorbing the scene.

  “Nice to know. I’m glad we’re on such good terms.” Despite her murderous look
, he said, “By the way, my name is Garrett. Garrett Andrews.”

  “Well, Mister,” she sounded ominous, “Andrews, I’m glad to have met you.” She started to rise. What was the guest presenter doing at her table?

  He reached out a placating hand. “Wait. Christina hasn’t finished yet, and I don’t think you have, either.”

  Since Lilly was just arriving with her waffles and his grapefruit, she could hardly claim she was. Christina had hardly touched her French toast and hot chocolate.

  “You’re right, of course.” She sent him an apologetic look. “I haven’t been very nice. I hope I didn’t spoil your appetite.”

  He chuckled. “Not a chance.” He stared down at the halved grapefruit and scooped out a spoonful with the serrated spoon. He tried to pretend it was his favorite morning food.

  Amusement crinkled the corners of her eyes. “I should have warned you the grapefruit is bitter. Even the salt didn’t help.” She took a bite of her waffles. “These are better – they’re even hot.”

  Christina, who had been watching intently, addressed Garrett, “Are you gonna stay here?”

  “Um…uh…” he looked at Cathee questioningly.

  “Yes, Sweetheart, he’s going to eat breakfast with us.”

  “Why?”

  Cathee raised an eyebrow in question.

  He answered quickly, “All the other tables are full. Besides, I don’t like eating alone, do you?”

  Christina shook her head and shyly smiled at him. “No.”

  Cathee glanced down at the girl. “No more questions. Just eat.”

  “OK, Mommy.”

  Garrett caught Cathee’s eye and smiled. “Does she always ask so many questions?”

  “Almost always.” She sighed and shot him an exasperated look.

  Lilly interrupted with the delivery of Garrett’s entree. He quickly dove into his waffles. After a couple of bites, he stopped. “You were right. These are good.”

  Cathee smirked. “I usually am.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes. Even Christina seemed absorbed in pushing her remaining French toast around her plate.

  When Cathee dropped her napkin onto her plate, Garrett asked, “What are your plans for the day?”

  Cathee shot him a wary look. “I’m not sure. I needed to do some shopping, but…”

  Christina interrupted. “Mommy promised we’d go to the zoo.”

  Garrett smiled. “We’re going to the zoo, then?”

  Cathee’s eyes narrowed at his emphasis on the word we. “I wasn’t planning on sharing my day…”

  “You can pretend I’m not even there. I won’t make a sound.” He held up his right hand. “Scouts honor.”

  Her eyebrows went up in surprise, then a crease grew between her brows as she asked, “Are you a scout?”

  He smiled. “Be prepared. That’s my motto.” He winked conspiratorially at Christina.

  “Please, Mommy, ple-ea-ase, can he come with us?” she begged.

  Cathee sighed. Garrett and Christina smiled at each other in obvious delight. They knew they’d won.

  Garrett turned his gaze to Cathee. “When would you like to go?”

  “I’ll meet you in the lobby in ten minutes.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then.”

  He stood up and helped Cathee with her seat. It reminded her of when her parents had gone out to eat. She thought that habit had died with her dad. She smiled her thanks, reached for Christina’s hand, and headed to the elevator.

  Christina looked up at her when they entered the elevator. “Why are you shaking, Mommy?”

  Cathee quickly pulled her hand away. “I...I must be cold.” Obviously, being so near a man had impacted her. She’d been near ward members, students and teachers, other auditors, contractors, but this was different. He’d been looking at her, not with her. She could handle males when they were treating her like a peer. Someone looking at her the way Garrett did, as if he was very aware of her as a woman, flooded her with all the emotion created that night. She was shaking with terror, and her hands were sweating. Logically, she knew what was happening. She knew she was reliving an event that should be forgotten, but her body wouldn’t react any other way.

  Christina stared, her brow furrowed in concern. “Are you sick, Mommy? You don’t look so good.”

  Cathee swallowed hard. “I don’t feel so good.” She managed to make it to her room then dropped into the overstuffed chair next to the window. She put her head between her legs. Her muffled voice said, “Christina, please go brush your teeth. I’ll brush mine in a minute.”

  Christina was subdued. “Okay, Mommy.”

  Cathee took several deep breaths. When the queasy feeling disappeared, she rose on shaky legs to head to the bathroom. She needed to brush her teeth.

  Christina watched her closely, the concern clear on her face. “Are you too sick to go to the zoo?”

  Cathee gritted her teeth, then relaxed. “No. I’ll be fine. Let’s go.” It was time to face her fear. It had been almost six years. She needed to get over what had happened. An innocent trip to the zoo would help her overcome her fear. She knew it. But getting there wasn’t going to be easy. As they waited at the elevator, she clenched her fists and then forced them to open and relax. Surely the presenter at an adoption and family therapy convention couldn’t be dangerous, could he? Besides, they’d be in a public place. She looked down at her athletic shoes. And she was wearing shoes suitable for running. She hadn’t worn heels since... She stopped herself. She didn’t want to think about it.

  As they headed into the lobby, she noticed for the first time how good looking Garrett was. She hadn’t seen any man that way for too many years. He was glancing at his watch and then smiled when he saw them. She shyly smiled back, and the tenseness in her gut loosened. I wonder how old he is. Early thirties, maybe? It’s hard to tell.

  Christina ran up to him and grabbed his hand, then turned and reached for Cathee’s. “Let’s go.” She seemed to have forgotten all about her mother’s recent misery, which was just as well. Cathee wanted to forget it, too.

  “Let’s take my car. Christina’s car seat is in it, and it’s a pain to transfer. Do you want to drive?” Cathee dangled the keys.

  “Uh...sure.” Garrett looked perplexed but obediently took the keys. He was surprised she’d trust him with her car.

  Cathee didn’t want to explain why she didn’t feel comfortable driving. She wasn’t sure her earlier episode wouldn’t return, and she didn’t want to risk passing out or getting sick while driving.

  Garrett opened both passenger doors, waited while Cathee buckled in Christina, then shut both doors after Cathee climbed in. The car purred as he moved it out of the lot. “Nice car.” He approved.

  “Thanks. It was my parent’s car.”

  “Did they get a new one?”

  Cathee stared out the window a moment before answering. “No. I inherited it when they died.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. That must be hard.”

  Cathee snuck a look at him. He seemed genuinely sorry. “It has been, but we manage.” They were both quiet after that, lost in their own thoughts.

  She was trying to adjust to having a male so near, and it wasn’t as difficult as she had imagined. She watched his hands on the wheel and surprised herself by examining his ring finger. Ringless. She hadn’t bothered to look before. She relaxed against the familiar seat and focused on the scenery. The zoo was only a few minutes from the hotel, so it didn’t take long before they were pulling into the free parking area.

  Garrett glanced at Cathee. “Did you have any preferences on where to start?”

  She shook her head, then said, “No. We should have time to cover everything. I was planning on staying until noon. Will that work for you?”

  “Yes. I just have to be back at the hotel by 6:00.”

  “Oh. That’s right. I forgot you have to be back for your presentation.”

  “How’d you know about that?”

/>   Cathee smiled. “There was an announcement in the restaurant.”

  Red raced up Garrett’s face. “I forgot my name was on it.”

  “In black and white.” She laughed. “I was wondering what the special presenter was doing at my table.”

  Garrett watched a little too carefully as he parked the car, then glanced at her. “I saw you last night when you arrived. I was curious to know what you were doing at the conference.” He paused hesitantly, then asked, “Is Christina adopted?”

  Cathee stared at him a moment, trying to decide how much she wanted to share about her daughter. Finally, she answered. “No. She’s mine.” She turned to look at Christina and smiled, then turned her attention back to Garrett. “I’m not attending the conference. We’re just on vacation.” Her eyes turned curious. “What’s the conference for, anyway?”

  “It’s training therapists and social workers on foster care and adoption issues – mostly how they impact children and how the children can be assisted through the changes in their lives.”

  “The notice about your presentation said something about RAD. What’s that?”

  “Reactive Attachment Disorder. It can happen in a variety of circumstances, but it’s quite common in children who have been in foster care since they were very young – especially those kids that are shuffled from home to home. It is critical for proper social development for children to bond with a primary care giver.” He laughed quietly. “I sound like I’m on a soap box, don’t I?”

  “Not at all. I’m sure it’s fascinating stuff.”

  “I’d invite you to come, but the event has been sold out for weeks.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m here to spend time with my daughter. I don’t have anyone I can leave her with here. The hotel has a day care service, but I prefer to leave her with people I know.”

  Garrett nodded his approval. “It’s best to be cautious.” He turned off the ignition then handed the keys to Cathee. “If you’re interested, you can come to my suite tomorrow and watch the slide show.”

  Cathee dropped her eyes. She wasn’t sure she was ready to visit a man’s hotel room. “Umm... let’s see how the day goes.”

  He nodded. Noncommittal. He couldn’t expect anything else.

  He stepped out, shut his door, then quickly walked to Cathee’s side. She had already stepped out, so he opened Christina’s door. Cathee unbuckled the booster seat and stood back while Garrett shut both doors. She clicked the remote lock, reached for Christina’s hand, then headed for the entrance.

  Christina held out her hand to Garrett, who grinned and took it. At least one of the females in the group wanted him there.