Hidden in the Heart: An LDS Novel

by Roseanne Evans Wilkins

  Chapter 6, Lake Shawnee Ward

  The incessant ringing of the telephone woke Cathee. Groggily, she picked up the phone. “Hello?”

  An emotionless mechanical voice answered her greeting. “The time is now 7:00 am. If you would like a reminder call in ten minutes, please press the star key. Otherwise, please hang up. Thanks for choosing Capitol Plaza for your stay. Have a nice day.”

  Cathee’s finger hovered over the star key. She was tempted to snooze but then realized she needed to get moving. She wanted to attend the 9:00 meetings and wasn’t sure where the closest building was. She hung up the phone with a decisive click and maneuvered off the bed.

  She stepped barefoot across the carpet, passing Christina’s inert form. Cathee paused to stare down at her daughter. She had worked herself sideways across the bed and looked like she wasn’t planning on moving any time soon. The previous day must have worn her out – both emotionally and physically. They’d done a lot of walking, and they’d certainly had a highly emotional day. Deciding not to wake her, Cathee stepped quietly into the bathroom to take care of her morning needs.

  Her shower didn’t take long. It only took a few moments to dress. She had chosen wrinkle-free material for their Sunday attire, so she didn’t have to iron.

  After she was ready for church, she moved to the desk where she’d done her emotional unloading the night before. She picked up the pages she’d written and tucked them into the zippered pouch in the side of her luggage. Then she sat back down at the desk and pulled out her cell phone. Her cell phone bill wouldn’t support Christina’s endless questions, but she didn’t mind occasional usage to look up information she wanted. She went to the ward locator she was familiar with, https://lds.org/ maps.

  She was pleased to see that the Lake Shawnee Ward met at 9:00. The building was less than three miles away. It shouldn’t be too hard to find. There were only two turns on the Mapquest route.

  Cathee moved quietly to the window and pulled open the drapes. The bright sun came streaming in, and she moved over to her daughter’s bed. While stroking her hair, Cathee sang, “Good Morning to You” until Christina finally sat up and rubbed her eyes.

  “It’s time to get ready for church, Honey. You can have some milk and s’mores after you’re ready.”

  Christina suddenly looked alert. “Can we eat our s’mores at the table by the trees?”

  “I don’t see why not. Get ready and we’ll take our breakfast downstairs.”

  Christina hopped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. Cathee followed to fill the tub and wash Christina’s hair. It was their Sunday morning routine.

  After her bath, Christina wrapped up in a towel and sat on her bed. Cathee sat down next to her. She carefully combed out Christina’s snarls. “Church starts at 9:00. When we get there, I’ll take you to Primary. Then you can decide if you want to stay there or come to my class.” She paused a moment to work out a knot in Christina’s hair, then continued, “I think you’ll like your Primary class a lot better than Relief Society and Sunday School. The adult classes aren’t much fun for little kids.”

  “I know, Mommy, but I’m scared of people I don’t know.”

  Cathee hugged her. “Members are the same everywhere. I’m sure they’ll love to have you visit their class, but I’ll let you decide when we get there.”

  “Thanks, Mommy.” She reached around to hug her mother back. “I love you.”

  “I love you more.”

  “I love you the mostest.”

  Cathee laughed. “Time to get dressed, Pumpkin. We have a table waiting.”

  “We do?”

  “Yes. Downstairs under the trees. I’m hungry. Let’s hurry.”

  Christina jumped up, dropped her towel and pulled on her underclothes. Cathee helped her with her dress, then Christina pulled on her socks and finished with her dress shoes.

  Cathee grabbed the box of Pop Tarts. “Can you get the two cartons of milk in the cooler?”

  “Do we each get our own?”

  “Yes. They’re small.” Cathee tucked the Pop Tarts into her purse along with the key card. She grabbed two straws and a couple of paper plates, then headed to the door.

  “We’re off to see the wizard” sprang spontaneously from her mouth.

  “Dumbledore?”

  Cathee laughed. “No. Not him. A different wizard. I was just thinking of an old movie I used to watch with my parents called the Wizard of Oz.” She surprised herself by not feeling pain as she mentioned her parents. The tears from the night before had helped her deal with the pain from her ordeal with Juan and also her pain at losing her parents. The meltdown had been tough but also therapeutic. “Maybe we can watch it during this trip.”

  As they stepped out of the room, Cathee thought about the movie and how the wizard had only helped the characters in the movie find traits in themselves they never knew they had. She wondered if that’s what Garrett did as a therapist. Maybe he was just a guide to help people recognize their own strengths.

  She remembered how he’d encouraged her and told her she was a strong person. She’d never thought of herself that way, and yet she’d handled the previous day better than she’d ever thought she would. She’d had her moments, but she had survived, and today was a bright, new day. She was looking forward to it with joy and enthusiasm, a response she certainly would not have seen in herself.

  It wasn’t yet 8:00, and the main floor was relatively quiet. Nothing like the previous morning. They found a secluded table under a tree and quietly ate their Pop Tarts. Christina watched the bubbles emerge from her milk carton as she blew into it.

  Cathee sighed. “Please don’t make a mess, Sweetie. I don’t want milk on your dress. The clothes we bought are for Kindergarten, and I don’t want to get them out.”

  “Sorry, Mommy.” She quit blowing bubbles. When she finished, she gathered up all the trash and threw it in the nearest trash can.

  “Thanks, Honey. I’m so proud of you when you help without being asked. That’s awesome.” She held up a hand and let Christina give her a high five. “Are you ready?”

  Christina nodded, and they headed out the door.

  The inside of the sedan was already hot when they climbed in. Cathee turned on the air conditioner full blast. “It’s going to be hot today. It’s a good thing we have air conditioning.” She watched Christina nod in the rear view mirror as she pulled out of the parking lot.

  “When will we get there, Mommy?”

  “It won’t take long. Just a few minutes.”

  They arrived at the chapel twenty minutes to 9:00. Plenty of time to wander around the church house. Most LDS buildings were similar in layout, but there were always a few differences. They needed time to find which room Christina’s class would be meeting in.

  As they wandered the building, Cathee was relieved to see Christina visibly relax. The building was familiar. The pictures decorating the walls were similar, and the furniture in the foyers matched the ones in their own building. “This looks like our church, Mommy!” Christina was excited to see the similarities.

  “Yes. Most LDS churches look alike. The members are much the same, too.”

  Christina held Cathee’s hand tightly as they entered the Primary room.

  What looked to be the Primary president walked up and greeted them with a smile. “Are you visiting today?”

  Christina nodded vigorously.

  “How old are you?”

  “Four.”

  “You’ll be attending Sister Owens’ and Sister Gerard’s class. They’ll be arriving soon. You can sit in this seat.” A couple of other children were already sitting on the row. They smiled at her, and Christina happily sat next to the little blond girl with the pretty pink purse.

  Cathee bent down to whisper, “Do you want to stay here in Primary or go with me?”

  “I want to stay.”

  “I’ll be back after Sunday School to take you with me to Sacrament Meeting.”

  “
Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you more.” Cathee kissed her daughter on the cheek then headed to the Relief Society room.

  Eyes closed, Cathee sat in the back row. She listened to the notes quietly emerging under the fingers of a skilled pianist. It was easy to forget she was attending a different ward. Everything was exactly the same. She let the familiar music wash over her.

  Cathee opened her eyes when a sister got up to give the announcements. She wasn’t sure which member of the presidency was speaking. There wasn’t a Relief Society program announcing who was conducting or teaching, but it didn’t matter. The sister looked around the room and said, “I see we have a couple of visitors. Would you like to introduce yourselves?”

  Another young sister stood up. “I’m Susie Miller. I’m from Utah. I’m here visiting my parents this week.”

  “We’re glad you’re here. Thanks for coming.”

  Everyone turned to Cathee. “I’m Cathee Laurenson. I’m on vacation with my daughter.”

  The sister looked surprised. “We don’t get a lot of vacationers here. We’re glad you’re with us today.”

  “Thanks.” Cathee was relieved when everyone turned back to the front. She felt awkward being the center of attention.

  She sat back and enjoyed the lesson, knowing the same lesson was being taught in her own ward. The teacher might have a few different insights for the class, but it was basically the same as every other ward.

  After Relief Society ended, the doors were opened so the men could join them for the Sunday School lesson. Cathee hadn’t moved from her spot. She’d picked the back seat furthest from the door so other members wouldn’t have to step over her to get to a seat.

  She had dropped open her scriptures and was trying to concentrate on what she had opened to when she felt someone sit in the seat next to her. Surprised anyone would be sitting right next to her when there were still empty seats in the room, she looked up. Her eyes went wide. “What are you doing here?” she blurted out.

  Garrett’s smile lit up his eyes. “I thought I’d attend the nearest meetings, and this building was the closest. I like attending the early meeting; voilà, here I am.”

  “Wow. I didn’t even know you were a member.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t realize you were, either.”

  Cathee’s brow puckered. “So are you from Kansas?”

  “Actually, I grew up in California, attended BYU, then worked on a graduate degree at Kansas State. I was able to find work here, so I stayed.”

  She wanted to ask about Jill but hesitated. She didn’t want to pry. Since Jill’s parents were familiar with Topeka restaurants, she had a suspicion Jill was from Kansas even if Garrett wasn’t.

  They turned their attention to the class president as she started to speak. “There are several visitors today. Could you introduce yourselves?”

  Once again, Cathee endured the stares of strangers as she stood to introduce herself.

  Garrett stood up after she did. “I’m attending a conference at the Capitol Plaza.”

  “Welcome to the Ward. We’re glad you’re here.”

  From the knowing looks of their fellow class members, it was easy to see they all assumed Cathee and Garrett were a couple. Cathee turned pink and stared down at her quadruple combination. The words on the page were a blur. She blinked a couple of times to get them to focus. As far as she knew, no one had assumed she was coupled with anyone since before Christina was born. This was unfamiliar territory.

  As Garrett sat down, he rested his arm casually on the back of her seat. He obviously wasn’t sharing her discomfort. Since she knew she’d probably never see anyone in the room again, she relaxed. It wasn’t worth stressing over, and she was surprised to find she liked his arm resting right where it was – even if it was sending chills down her spine. They weren’t the terror-filled ones she’d experienced in the past. This was something else.

  As the class progressed, Cathee had a hard time concentrating on the lesson. Garrett had found a stray curl and was gently twisting and untwisting it around his index finger. Having him toy casually with her hair was wreaking havoc on her peace of mind. No one had been anywhere near her like that since her experience with Juan. She snuck a peek at Garrett, but he was reading along with the scripture passage and didn’t seem to notice. She couldn’t understand how he could be casual when her heart was thumping so loudly she was sure the whole room could hear. It was a shock to realize the thumping wasn’t caused by fear but by a different kind of feeling, and she wasn’t ready to analyze it.

  After the closing prayer, Garrett and Cathee stood up almost simultaneously. Garrett casually reached for her stray hand. “Shall we get Christina?”

  Cathee nodded, speechless. She didn’t know whether to stomp her foot in anger or just go along for the ride. He certainly didn’t mind taking control, but she suddenly realized she didn’t mind nearly as much as she thought she should. She meekly followed behind as he led them through the chairs.

  Christina was delighted to see Garrett and ran up to greet him. “Did you come to see us?”

  He laughed. “I didn’t know you’d be here, but I was very happy to see your mother.”

  He smiled down at Cathee, who blushed scarlet and dropped her gaze. What is it with this guy?

  “I hope you’ll both sit with me. I don’t like sitting all by myself.”

  “Can we, Mommy? Please, Mommy, ple-ea-ase, can we sit with him?”

  Cathee rolled her eyes. “I know when I’m outnumbered.”

  Christina grabbed Garrett’s and Cathee’s hands as they moved down the hallway. Cathee stopped and looked down at Christina. “You need to get a drink and stop at the bathroom before we go to the chapel. I don’t want you leaving during sacrament meeting.”

  “Okay, Mommy.” She obediently took a detour.

  Garrett and Cathee waited in the hallway. Cathee looked up at him. “So where do you live?”

  “I live in Salina. I have my own practice there now.”

  “Wow. I grew up in Salina.”

  “It’s a small ward. I’m surprised I haven’t heard you mentioned.”

  She dropped her gaze. “When my parents died, I moved in with my dad’s brother and his wife. They attend the Manhattan Ward.” She continued to stare at the floor, unwilling to meet his eyes. “When I...discovered I was expecting Christina, I moved in with a foster family in Utah.” She looked up at him then. “I severed all my ties to Salina. I didn’t talk to any of my friends after that. Maybe no one wanted to talk about me because of the circumstances surrounding my departure. The ward was really good about not gossiping. My departure would have been fodder for gossips, but the ward wouldn’t stoop to that, I’m sure.”

  Garrett nodded, looking thoughtful. “I can see that, and I just moved in a couple of years ago. You’ve been gone a while.”

  “Six years.”

  “The ward has seen a lot of turnover lately. I heard several of the long time members retired to Utah.”

  Cathee smiled. “Utah does have a certain appeal to LDS retirees.”

  “The proximity of temples is one of them.”

  She nodded. “It’s hard when the assigned temple is in Nebraska.”

  “That’s a long drive.”

  “Four hours, isn’t it?” She waited for Garrett’s acknowledging nod, then continued, “It’s a lot easier to work in the temple when it’s only a few minutes away.”

  Christina ran up to them, her hands still damp from a wash. She reached confidently for both adults’ hands and marched them toward the chapel.

  Garrett grinned. “Let the child lead them.”

  Cathee laughed. “She knows where she’s going. This is just like our building in Wichita.”

  Christina led them to the short back pew on the left. That was the one they always occupied in Wichita. She stopped when she saw someone’s purse sitting there and looked up. “Where do we go, Mommy?”

  Garrett scanned the room a
nd found another pew about halfway up the room. “I think I see a spot. Follow me.”

  They threaded through the throng and sat on the bench. A graying man behind them whispered loudly to the woman next to him, “Isn’t that a nice-looking family?”

  Cathee could feel the blush move up her cheeks and faced forward. Of course people would think they were together. They were both strangers to the ward and were certainly acting like a couple. Once again, she snuck a look at Garrett. He didn’t seem to mind in the least, or else he hadn’t heard the brother behind them. She doubted he hadn’t heard, though. The whisper had been loud enough to wake the dead.

  She relaxed as the services began. Christina was sitting between them, so she wasn’t in as much emotional turmoil as she had been in Sunday School. She needed a little space. Things were moving too fast, and she wasn’t sure she was ready for any kind of relationship. She hadn’t dated anyone in six years. She was afraid her emotional response was way out of proportion.

  Garrett once again rested his arm across the back of the pew. He certainly seemed totally relaxed. She found herself wondering about his dead wife. What had she been like? He hadn’t mentioned any children. Did he have any? And if so, where were they? She peeked at Garrett and wondered if he was asking himself as many questions about her as she was asking about him. She was itching to ask, but sacrament meeting wasn’t the place to carry on a conversation.

  She couldn’t read his expression. He seemed intent on the speaker and not particularly nervous about what anyone was thinking about them. Was that a guy thing or just a Garrett one? She didn’t have enough experience with men to know.

  She faced forward and tried to pay attention to the speaker. Unfortunately, it was one of those high council speakers who delivers in a monotone. She wondered how Garrett could listen. She was feeling drowsy just listening to his voice. She switched her attention to the hymn book, flipping through the pages until she found a hymn she wanted to review. If she listened to the speaker, she knew she’d doze off. She suppressed a shudder. What an impression that would make. After having a breakdown in front of him the previous day, she certainly didn’t want to topple over in exhausted slumber during sacrament meeting.

  Fortunately, there was a rest hymn after the first speaker. They stood up to sing “Awake and Arise.” Whoever had picked the hymn must have known who the speaker was going to be. Cathee had to suppress a giggle. When she caught Garrett looking at her, she could see the laughter in his eyes. Apparently the speaker’s monotone had affected him, too.

  The final speaker was an energetic younger man. He seemed much more enthusiastic about his assignment, and he used a lot of humor in his talk. His discourse was an excellent close to the service, and the time flew under his expert skills.

  After the meeting ended, Garrett turned to Cathee. “What are your plans for lunch?”

  Cathee hesitated, then said, “I bought sandwich supplies so we wouldn’t have to eat out.” She quickly considered how much food they had and decided they could invite him for lunch. “Would you like to share a sandwich with us?”

  “Do you have enough?”

  “Well,” she confessed, “probably not enough for both lunch and dinner, but we have enough for lunch, anyway.”

  “That sounds great. Where would you like to meet?”

  “We had Pop Tarts and milk for breakfast at the table next to the fountain.” She saw his puzzled expression, then elaborated. “The one under the tallest tree.”

  “Ah. I know the one. What time would you like me to be there?”

  “I want to change and get the picnic supplies. Does 1:00 sound ok?”

  “Sounds great.”

  Christina reached for a hand from each of them, and they walked out to Cathee’s car.

  “Where did you park?” Cathee asked.

  “I’m on the other side of the building.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry.”

  He grinned. “No worries. I think I can handle the exercise. I’ll see you at 1:00.”

  Cathee buckled Christina into her car seat, then walked around to the driver’s side. Garrett shut both their doors. He stepped onto the sidewalk as they pulled away. His long strides made short work of the walk around the building. He was heading to the Capitol Plaza just a couple of minutes after they left. He whistled as he drove to the hotel. The spontaneous eruption of sound surprised him. It had been a long time since he’d felt like whistling.