They entered the classroom together and Dylan walked over to his teacher, Jenny. “I’m sorry,” he said.
She held her arms out to him. “And I’m sorry, too. I forgot that some boys don’t have fathers to make cards for on Father’s Day.”
Dylan looked over at Shane, then back at her. “Could I make a card for a friend instead?”
The parents were already arriving to pick up the children to go home, but Jenny nodded. “Of course. I should have made that offer to begin with.”
Paul Bartlett walked in the room with his little boy. “What’s this about a new boy picking a fight with my son?”
Shane turned and looked at him. “Apparently, your son teased him for not having a dad.”
Paul snorted and shook his head. “You and your project women. Maybe it’s time you picked someone other than a single mom. Stupid women, leeching off our society. Maybe they should start by getting married first, then having babies.”
No wonder Dylan had gotten into a fight with his kid.
Leah straightened, then turned to look at Paul. “Actually, I’m a widow. I am a single mom but not by choice. I would imagine that a lot of the single moms that you’re so down on are in a similar position. We’re all doing the best we can, and it would do you a world of good to have a little compassion. And teach your son to do the same.”
The strength in her voice made him want to applaud, especially because Paul did look ashamed of himself.
“I’m sorry. I meant no harm. But in these times, you can see where it would be easy to assume otherwise.”
Leah shook her head. “No, I can’t. Based on what I heard in the sermon today, you should be reaching out to the single moms and helping them. You should be doing that for everyone, not just the people you think are worthy. Nowhere in First Corinthians does it say to love only the people who are worthy of love.”
He nodded slowly, then looked down at Dylan. “I’m sorry about your dad.” He nudged his son. “Aren’t we?”
The other boy nodded. “Yeah. That must be terrible to have your dad die. Who do you play catch with?”
Dylan looked up at Leah. “My mom.”
Shane wanted to hug the little boy and tell him that he didn’t need a dad. He had the most amazing mom in the world. He wished he’d had a mom like Leah.
Paul looked over at Leah. “I’m real sorry to hear about your husband. If there is anything you need, you give us a call. I’m sure it’s hard, not having any menfolk around.”
Leah looked over at Shane. “Thank you. Shane has been wonderful with helping out, but if I do need anything, I’ll let you know.”
He could tell by the tone in her voice that Paul was the last person she’d ever call on if she needed anything. But he seemed mollified by her answer and nodded as he escorted his son out of the room.
Jenny handed Dylan a piece of paper and a stack of stickers. “I had to put the markers and things away, so you might have to use some stuff from home. But I thought I would give you a few things you can use to make your card.”
Dylan nodded at her. “Thank you.” His polite answer made Shane smile. The little boy was going to be all right.
When they walked out of the classroom, all the cookies were gone. Dylan’s fists balled up. “I really wanted you to have one of my mom’s cookies, Mister Shane.”
The little boy’s eyes were still red from crying, and the way Leah tensed, he knew that the worst wasn’t over.
“I know you did, buddy, but looks like everyone else enjoyed them. Maybe sometime we could make them together. That way your mom doesn’t have to do all the work herself.”
Leah smiled at him. “That sounds like a great idea. We all like to bake cookies. I saved some back at the house for dessert tonight. Maybe you’d like to come over for dinner?”
Before he could answer, Susan, one of the nursery workers, came up to them, carrying Ryan. “I know you were busy with your other son, but we’re trying to get the nursery closed down. Is it okay if I leave him with you now?”
Leah held her arms out for her son. “Of course. I am so sorry. I can’t believe I forgot to come get him.”
Susan smiled. “It’s all right. One of the other nursery workers let us know what was going on. I’m sorry about my husband. Paul can be pretty intense in expressing his opinion. I hope you know that you are very welcome here, and when things settle down, I’d really love to get our boys together for a play date. Joshua can be a handful, as can my husband. But they really aren’t so bad when you get to know them.”
Leah nodded. “I’d like that. I’m really hoping that once school starts, Dylan knows a few people so he doesn’t feel so overwhelmed. And I really appreciate you being willing to give my son another chance. I admit, he’s got some behavioral issues, but we are working on them.”
Susan smiled at her. “All kids have behavioral issues. I think the best way to deal with them is to love and accept the child, so the child doesn’t feel like they have to act out all the time. I’m sorry that your son has experienced hurtful responses to his behavior. And like I said, I can’t apologize enough for what my husband and son said. I’m really trying to raise him better than that.”
As the two women chatted, Shane said a silent prayer of thanks that the situation, which seemed to be headed in a bad direction, had turned out so positively for Leah. She’d even managed to develop a friendship as a result. Or at least the beginnings of one.
Though Leah had the love and friendship of her sisters, it was good for her to meet another woman who could love and accept her as a friend at church. He only hoped that Susan followed through with her promise of a play date and that things would continue to blossom between the two women.
He could only hope she didn’t get let down again.
But knowing more about Leah’s past with her late husband, he did have to give her credit. It took a lot of strength to choose to stay with someone under those circumstances. He didn’t know what he would’ve done in her shoes. Maybe that’s why God taught them not to judge. Because unless you were in that situation, you couldn’t possibly know the best way to handle it.
He was glad Leah had asked him to dinner. He wanted to steal away with her for a few minutes, so he could tell her how brave she was. So he could tell her about Gina, his past, and even his special connection to Leah’s son. It would take more than a few minutes, but he hoped this conversation would lead to many more over the course of their lives.
* * *
It was weird to think that she might have made a new friend at church over her son fighting with another boy. But Susan had seemed very understanding, and Leah looked forward to getting to know her better in and out of church. Maybe it was time to start giving others a chance.
As if on cue, Shane arrived to dinner with a bouquet of flowers, an unexpected treat. She thought about what Erin had said to her. Maybe Shane did like her, but she had been so intent on pushing him away that he didn’t feel safe expressing it. She wasn’t even sure how she felt about liking him, but she hadn’t done much in the way of dealing with that, either.
“Thank you, these are beautiful.” She wanted to pat herself on the back for not saying something like, “You shouldn’t have.” It had to mean something that she was trying.
“You’re very welcome. You deserve to be spoiled every now and again,” he said.
Erin joined them. “Exactly what I’ve been telling her. Sometimes she acts like the weight of the world is upon her shoulders, but it’s okay for her to relax and indulge a little.”
She turned and glared at her sister. “And I’ve been doing a very nice job of taking your advice this weekend, so back off.”
To her credit, Erin did take a step back. Literally.
Shane chuckled. “So, this is sisterly love? I’m glad I had three brothers.”
“I didn’t know you had family,
” Erin said. “You’ll have to tell us about them.”
“Not much to tell. I left home when I was seventeen, and I haven’t been back since. We never kept in touch. Helen and her brother took me in and treated me like their own. I hope it doesn’t sound too terrible, but they’ve been more my family than anyone else.”
All this time, she hadn’t thought much about where Shane had come from. What his story was. But after what happened earlier at church, she was curious.
Dinner went well, and Leah was happy that everyone behaved, including Erin. Every once in a while, she and Nicole would giggle at some secret joke they shared, but to their credit, neither said anything.
After dinner, Leah stood to clear the table, but Erin stopped her. “No, you don’t. It’s our turn. The boys will help us. Take Shane to the porch and have a cup of coffee while we clean everything up.”
Could her sister be any more obvious? Though she’d asked Erin to back off, in this instance she was glad for the interference. She did have questions for Shane. Things that seemed to have been unspoken between them a lot the past couple of days, but, because the boys were around, they hadn’t been able to discuss.
“Thanks. That sounds great.”
She wanted to stick her tongue out at her sister, who had probably been expecting an argument, but she’d try to be a good example for her boys.
They sat on the swing, one of Leah’s many projects. It had been old and worn, with peeling paint, but she’d sanded and repainted it. She’d had great hopes of spending quiet evenings out here, looking out over the ranch. But quiet evenings with her boys were few and far between.
Leah looked over at Shane. “I suppose I should apologize for that blatant attempt at matchmaking.”
He shook his head. “Don’t. I’ve been wanting to get you alone for a while now. It seems like we both have things on our mind we would like to talk about, but it’s challenging to do with the boys around.”
At least they were on the same page. “But the matchmaking...”
Shane shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. Like I told Dylan today, falling in love is something that happens between the two people who fall in love, and no one else. Even though your sisters are pushing us together, you have to make the right decisions for you, not them, not even the boys. Obviously, you don’t want to choose someone who’d be bad for them, but that isn’t something you’d do. You can want them to have a dad all you want, but don’t let that guide your decision about having a relationship. I can always be their friend.”
She nodded slowly, remembering one of the jabs from the guy at church. “Does this have anything to do with Paul’s comment about you being into single moms?”
Shane looked away for a moment, then turned his attention back to her. “It’s not as bad as all that. I dated a single mom a while back. I thought I was in love with her, but she was just looking for a father for her daughter. Natalie was a good kid, and I spent a lot of time with her. I took care of her like my own.”
Then he let out a long sigh. “But Gina met someone else, someone more exciting, and she took off with him. Obviously, Natalie went with her. Broke my heart. But I’ve realized that the mistake I made was in trying to be Natalie’s father, when I wasn’t. Gina let me, because it was easy for her. But the thing about it is, because I wasn’t Natalie’s dad, when Gina left, I had no right to Natalie. And that’s not something I’m willing to do again. I’ll always be there for your boys, as a friend. But if something happens between you and me, I want it to be about the two of us. Like I said, I want you to fall in love with me because you love me, not because your children need a father.”
His words comforted her, not just because he was making the conversation about them, but because he was letting her see deep inside him. She wanted a man who, like her, only wanted someone to love. She’d thought that with her family to raise and all her responsibilities, it was too much to ask. But now, as she sat on the swing with Shane, she couldn’t help wondering if it were possible.
Not that she’d admit such things to Erin anytime soon.
“That’s what I want, too. It’s just harder when you have children, because you have a responsibility to protect them. I want to make sure that if I bring a man around them, he is someone I can count on.”
Shane nodded slowly. “That’s wise. I can tell you all I want that I’m a good guy, but only you know what’s best for your children.”
His approval shouldn’t matter so much to her, and yet, it felt good to know he was on her side. He’d seen her and her kids at their worst and still respected her as a mother. So many people didn’t.
Maybe that’s why she’d spent so much time being closed off. She’d already faced so much judgment from others. Here in Columbine Springs, however, not everyone judged her harshly. She’d expected to have been run off from church today after the way Dylan had behaved, and yet, everyone acted with understanding. No one in the hallways shook their heads at her in disappointment. They must have known what had happened, but not one person stepped forward to condemn her.
And Shane, despite everything he’d witnessed and everything she’d told him, was still here with her, opening up about his past, wanting to pursue her.
She scooted a little closer to him. “I’m not very good at this,” she said. “Jason was my high school sweetheart, and I’ve never dated anyone else. How do I know that I’m making the right decision for myself and for the boys?”
She definitely needed work on sounding smoother. But at least Shane didn’t seem to mind. He took her hand. “You’re doing fine. We all have to approach a relationship in our own way. I hope you know that I care about you.”
He looked like he wanted to say something else, but then he shook his head and gazed out across the field.
For a few minutes, the only sound was the creak of the swing, the whisper of the breeze and the occasional cricket chirping in the distance.
Then Shane turned to her. “My feelings for you aren’t just about keeping a promise to Helen. I like you. A lot. I’m trying to balance doing what I think is right for you and your family with my feelings for you. I know that you have more than just yourself to consider.”
His words made her heart twist in a funny way. Romance was supposed to be about love and butterflies, but it seemed infinitely more romantic to be liked. Being liked meant he looked beyond the surface, into her heart, and appreciated what he saw.
“Thank you,” she said. “Sometimes I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing or not, but when I’m with you, you give me confidence I wasn’t sure I had.”
The look he gave her reminded her a lot of Helen. Growing up, Helen had been one of the few people in her life to make her believe in herself. Obviously, she’d taught Shane to do the same.
“I know sometimes you think you can’t tell the right or wrong way to go. But today’s lesson in First Corinthians is a good guide. Ask yourself if it leads you closer or further from love. And to define love, you’ve got to use what the Bible says.”
She hadn’t thought of it that way, but as she pondered Shane’s words, they made a lot of sense. As she mentally went through the list of words defining love, like patience and kindness, she could see where trusting Shane was the right thing to do.
“We spend so many years of our lives thinking love is about butterflies, but you’re right. Love is so much more.”
His gentle smile warmed her as he squeezed her hand tighter. “I’m not going to lie and say there aren’t butterflies. But at least now you understand when I tell you that I want more than that. We both deserve that kind of love.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. Until now, the idea of love and romance in her life was a secret wish. One she hadn’t much allowed herself to indulge in. Like the secret stash of chocolate Erin had hidden away.
Shane used his free hand to brush at her tears. “What are those for?”
“Because you make me think that so much of what I’ve been denying myself might be possible.”
It wasn’t like her to be so honest about her feelings. But she also hadn’t felt safe enough to do so in a long time.
He ran his hand straight down her cheek, then cupped her chin. Then he tilted her chin up to him. “You deserve to have your dreams come true.”
When he bent and kissed her, it was a gentle, fleeting touch that jolted her to the very core. His kiss held the warmth of the promise of the future. One with a man who wanted to be her partner, who believed in her and had shown her time and again that she could count on him.
As she kissed him back, he shifted his position, so he could put his arms around her, pulling her close to him and holding her tight.
Slowly, he broke the kiss, then gave her a squeeze before kissing her on top of her head.
“I might have gotten carried away,” he said. “I’m pretty sure that was the best kiss of my life, but I hope you know that’s not what this is about.”
“I wouldn’t have let you kiss me if I thought otherwise.” She smiled as she closed her eyes briefly, reliving the way he’d touched her. How long had it been since she’d been comfortable in a man’s arms?
She hadn’t gotten far in her memory when a voice rang out, “Does this mean you’re going to get married?”
Her eyes flew open as she saw Dylan standing in the doorway with Erin.
“I...”
Shane scooted away. “No,” he said. “I told you, marriage is something that happens between grown-ups. And you have to give them space to make up their minds.”
Erin chuckled. “Seems to me you were doing quite a bit of making out—I mean, up.”
Leah glared at her sister. She wasn’t making things any better.
“It was just a kiss.”
Erin snorted. “That was some kiss.”
Looking down at her son, Leah said, “That wasn’t meant for you to see. Shane is right. We still have a lot of grown-up things to work out between us, but I promise, you will be the first to know if anything serious happens between me and Shane.”
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