by Gina Manis
As I am tramping through the oasis, I find water by its smooth running sound an hour later. I am so relieved, and it makes me happy to know; I am on the right track to Mountainside. I rush through the brush and come to the water’s edge, looking at the glorious sight.
From the other side of the large pool is a river flowing into it over some rocks. It isn’t what you would call a waterfall, but it is beautiful to see it flowing.
Dropping to my knees and drinking from the edge, the water refreshing on its way down my throat. I drop my bag and rip at my shirt, ready to jump in. They need washing too, but I want to feel the cool water on my hot skin.
I throw my shirt on the ground and reach for my pants' buttons when suddenly I hear a man's voice.
“I wouldn’t go in there.”
As I reach for my shirt, I screech, hugging it to the front of me as I turn, ready to face an attacker. Instead, I am slightly relieved to see that it is Arrow sitting in a nest of leaves. I am still in shock at seeing him. “What are you doing here?”
“Waiting for you,” he says, looking at my face and then away. “You should put your clothes on. If you want to go swimming, you should go to the other side. The currents are better and there is no chance of snakes.”
Shit! I should have remembered that. I was just so thirsty and miserable from the heat. I cling to my shirt, still in shock to see him, before turning and slipping it back on. I button my pants before turning back to him, angry that he is here and wanting to know why. “Why are you here, Arrow?”
“You didn’t think Thomas was going to let you go alone, did you?” He stands up with his bag as he walks towards me.
“I… he didn’t know.”
“He knew,” he says, picking up my bags and starting to walk around the water’s edge. “After the other night, he knew you would leave soon.”
“That doesn’t explain why you are here,” I say, following him.
“Your sister told him of your plans. He asked me to watch out for you when you leave. To make sure you get someplace safe and that you wouldn’t be alone until you did.” He turns to me, throwing a small pouch of coins my way. “It is from Thomas.”
I look at the thick purse of coins, almost double what I have saved, and am shocked. How did Thomas come by so much? And why did he arrange for Arrow to follow me?
I look at Arrow and see him halfway around the pool now. I run to catch up with him. “Why are you doing this? I didn’t ask for your help.”
“No, but Thomas did, and I owe him. He couldn’t allow you to leave alone and with no protection,” he says as he continues to walk.
“I don’t want you here!” I shout at him. How dare he follow me, even if he did so at Thomas’s bidding? I didn’t need him and wanted to be away from his kind. “I want to be alone.”
“And you can be, as soon as you have found a place and gotten settled. I will leave, and you can be alone,” he tells me, not backing down.
I give a loud sigh and stomp my feet, “I can’t believe he has done this. You don’t have to stay with me, Arrow. You can just leave.”
“I’m not leaving.” He drops our bags onto a rock and turns to me. “I promised Thomas I would see you safe, and I will. Besides, I am heading home and it just so happens to be in the same direction.”
Of course, he will not leave. Men never did what a woman wanted, even if they didn’t care for them. I love Thomas, but he has set this up with the one man I know who would honor his word. And who doesn’t scare me as most do.
“How did you get here before me? I never saw you.” I ask curiously.
“I have been this way before. I knew I couldn’t track you over the desert and thought to give you some time alone, anyway,” he says, sitting on a rock and watching me. I don’t like to be watched by men.
“You mean to get far enough away from the kingdom that I couldn’t tell you to go back.”
“I knew you would find your way here,” he says, looking around and ignoring my comment. “Arguing about it would have only tired you out in the desert, and you needed your strength for the trip. Now you can yell at me all you want and then rest.”
“What I want to do is go for a swim, but I can’t because you’re here!”
“I will leave you alone to swim.” His eyes darting over me before he quickly looks away and gets up. “I will see if I can find us some fruit. I should be gone for a while.”
Taking my clothes off didn’t sound as appealing now, knowing a man was around. Arrow has never looked at me with anything but pity, and even though I hate it, I don’t want him to see me naked. The thought of a man seeing me like that is so unnerving I shiver.
“You don’t have to be frightened of me, Jenna,” he tries to assure me but it doesn’t. “I know you may have some fear of me being here, but I swear, I will try nothing with you.”
“I’m not scared of you,” I say, even though I am frightened a little. I am in the middle of nowhere with him, and he is so large and… he is built like a rock, and if he can take down Jared, he could hurt me if he wanted to.
“You’re not?” He doesn’t believe me, and I can tell by the way he asks he doesn’t believe me. He is so sure of himself, and I feel the urge to put him in his place.
“No,” I say, staring into his eyes, determined not to look away. “I see the way you look at me. I know the look well.”
“How do I look at you?” He shifts from one leg to the other as he crosses his arms.
“With pity!” The word grates at me just to say it. “You have always looked at me with pity, just as everyone else at the kingdom does. Trust me. I know the look and I don’t like it. Everyone knows what happened to me and that pitying look reminds me of it every day.”
He looks away from me then to the ground. He knows it's true or else he wouldn’t have looked away. This is why I am leaving. To get away from everyone who knows my past so maybe I can move on. “Not everyone looks at you with pity, Jenna.”
“Like Jared?” I ask him, and he tenses. “No, his looks disgusted me even more.”
He says nothing but moves away from the water and me then, saying “Take your bath and cool off. I will be back in an hour.”
“Or don’t come back!” I shout at him. “I don’t want you here, Arrow. I don’t want to see pity from anyone ever again!”
“Then, you won’t,” he says as he continues to walk away.
◊ ◊ ◊
Arrow stays away just as he said he would, returning after I am out of the water and changed into some fresh clothes. I wash my dirty ones and hang them in a tree. With the night soon to come on, I light a fire with some sticks and am brushing my hair when he returns.
He has the fruit wrapped up in his shirt, which he doesn’t have on, and I look away, not wanting to see him. He sits down by the fire and dumps the fruit out and then slips his shirt back on.
“I found some limes and berries, along with a few pears,” he says, picking up a pear and pulling out his knife. He doesn’t look at me a single time, keeping his word and not looking at me with pity. Still, I knew he had it, and the resentment of it crawled around inside me. I say nothing, picking up some berries and popping them in my mouth.
“We will travel by the river from here on out. The terrain will become more challenging as we go, but there will be water and game we can kill along the way.”
I’m not big on eating much meat and figured I would stick to more fruits and vegetables once I get settled. Meat is good for energy, though, so I eat a small amount to keep my strength up.
Knowing all I do of Arrow and Thomas, I figure it doesn’t matter what I say: Arrow isn’t going to leave. If he is going to be around for some time, I might as well get used to it. That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though, and we don’t talk to each other as the sky darkens into night.
I make myself a bed out of some plant leaves and lie down, looking up at the stars. Arrow is across the fire, bedding down in
his place for the night, a reasonable distance away. I sigh, thinking my plan of being alone has found a hiccup. At least it is someone I am familiar with and who has protected me in the past. I have little fear that Arrow will try anything, but it is hard to let my guard down and rest.
As the night lingers on, I listen to the water and the wind in the palm trees. It is relaxing here, even with the company, and I slowly drift off.
“Turn her over.” The older man says as the second one gets off me. I can’t move now as they push me over, my face in the dirt as the older man holds it down. I don’t know why he does so when I can’t fight them any longer. I have pulled my arms nearly out of socket trying to get free and have little use of them. My legs are even weaker from being held up in the air for so long. Blood is rushing into them now, and it makes them hurt even more. “Cole, your turn.”
“About damn time,” he says as he kneels behind me, kicking my legs apart.
“Lift her ass,” The old man tells him.
I feel Cole lift my lower body and squeeze my eyes shut, knowing what he is about to do. How can he do this to me? I thought he liked me.
I cry out as he hurts me too but little sound comes out of me. My voice is gone after having the other one wrap his hands around my throat. I thought I was going to die and welcomed it, but his father pushed his hand away, shouting at him, “Don’t kill her yet. Your brother needs a turn.”
I gasp into the dirt as they press my face into it and beg the Gods to end my life. I just want the pain to stop; my body has been tortured enough.
“Oh gods, this feels so good.”
“Fuck her good boy. Show me what you got,” the older laughs from beside me. He is the worst of them all as he beats me more than the others.
“I’m about to blow, pop,” he screeches as he moves faster.
“Let me show you how it feels when a woman comes around you,” The old man says as I see him removing his belt. Before I can understand what he means to do, he struck me with the strap on my backside. I try to scream as my whole body tenses from the new pain as he does it again.
I wake, crying out from the pain. Pain that I repeatedly live with in my dreams. I bring my legs up and begin to rock myself as I always do saying, “It was just a dream. A stupid dream.”
“Jenna?”
I am startled as I realize I am not alone and look to see Arrow sitting up on his bedroll. I had forgotten he was here with me.
“Don’t look at me.” I cry, hiding my face in my arms. Beth used to come to me in the night when I woke them, but seeing the pity in her eyes made it worse. After some time, I told her not to come to me anymore, and she stopped. I know that look in Arrow’s eyes now and can’t go back. “Please leave.”
“All right,” he says, getting up and moving around. I don’t look at him as I sit there and rock myself. He says nothing else as he leaves.
“It was a dream. A stupid dream.” I say to myself, continuing with my ritual until I can lay down again. Sleep doesn’t come, but the memories do.
The younger of the three had caught my eye in the market earlier. I had never seen him before, and I thought he was cute. He came over and introduced himself to me, and I finished Beth’s shopping with him. His name was Cole, and he walked me back to the house with my bags. I liked him, but he said he had to get back to work. He asked me to meet him later, after the markets closed, and I agreed.
I knew Beth wouldn’t let me go and so I snuck out, wanting to see him again. He was there at the edge of the market, waiting for me as he said. Taking my hand, we took off, running down the empty stalls until he pulled me into one.
I remember feeling the butterflies in my stomach at the idea of sharing my first kiss with him. He was so cute and he noticed me. Unlike the other girls, I wasn’t as developed as them yet. None of the other boys around here had even given me a second look. But Cole did, and he was cuter than all of them.
The door slammed behind us and I jumped into Cole’s arms as I looked to see an older man and another boy that looked like Cole, only older. Both of them had grins on their faces, looking at me like I was some kind of meal. I tried to hide behind Cole but he forced me in front of him, pinning my arms to my side.
The older man walked toward me and before I could say or do anything, he reached for the top of my dress and tore it right down the middle. As I screamed, Cole covered my mouth with his hand.
I had been a fool looking for love and a taste of pleasure with a boy. Because of it, I paid the ultimate price.
Chapter Four
Jenna
“Time to get up, Jenna.” Arrow wakes me as he puts out the last embers of the fire. It is barely daybreak, and still, there is a chill in the air. I don’t argue with him, getting up and making my way into the brush to relieve myself.
He says nothing as I return, and doesn’t even look at me, again. I don’t know where he slept last night, but I know it wasn’t in camp with me. Not after I sent him away after waking from my nightmares. He doesn’t bring it up, which I am glad for. I’ve never even told Beth about them or what happened to me. I relive them so often I don’t like the idea of speaking about them, too.
He finishes his pear and goes to fill our canteens with water. I hurry and eat while I put on my shoes. We are still a long way from Mountainside and if Arrow is going to be with me until we get there, I have every intention of moving us along as fast as possible. I am angry that Thomas made Arrow come with me, but he is my brother and I will respect him in this for now. That is, unless Arrow makes any kind of move towards me. If he does, this is over with him.
Once Arrow is finished, he comes back and drops my canteen beside me and then goes for his bags. I can tell he is ready to be on his way and get up too. I follow behind him much of the day. Neither of us is much for talking, so it is mostly quiet.
I’ve never taken much notice of Arrow before. He and Thomas have been friends for several cycles. One night he just showed up at our house for dinner, and he never left after that. We have never had an actual conversation before, and I have never been alone with him like I am now.
As far as I know, he is about the same age as Thomas. Maybe a few cycles younger. Twenty-eight to thirty, I guess. He is a taller man compared to many, and has a muscular frame to go with it. I know he must be strong and that is what scares me the most about men. I shiver at the power Arrow must have.
I think about that night Jared attacked me and how Arrow just showed up when he did. What was he doing out, anyways? Thomas wasn’t there with me, and I begin to wonder if Arrow was following me. Maybe something else the two of them arranged.
The questions in my head are annoying me. I walk ahead and beside him so I can ask, “Were you following me that night?”
“Yes.” He doesn’t even try to deny it. He just keeps walking, his focus staying on the area in front of him. “I follow you every night Thomas has duty.”
“Do you always do what Thomas asks of you?” I ask, annoyed that Thomas has made me such a burden for someone else. Arrow wasn’t family and had no obligation to me.
“He didn’t ask,” Arrow says, becoming annoyed.
That surprises me. “Then, why did you?”
“Because it isn’t safe,” he says, glancing my way. “I didn’t like you walking alone and took to following you when he was at work.”
“But you don’t know me and you didn’t have to,” I say to him. “Why would you waste your time and follow me home?”
He stops and turns to me. “Would you have let me walk you if I asked?”
I look away and answer, “No.”
“There you go—your answer. I didn’t tell you, I didn’t ask, I just did it,” he says and moves on.
He didn’t answer my question, but I let it go. Something about the way he looks at me had me thinking I wouldn’t have liked the answer—a hint of care. I didn’t want him to care for me because I didn’t care for him.
We make
camp by the water again that evening, and Arrow goes off to catch some game. I take the time to go for another swim. Living in the Star Kingdom, one didn’t get this pleasure. I hope where I settle, there is a place to swim. I am not very good at it, but I will learn.
Arrow returns with a gigantic snake and skins it. I am grossed out at the idea of eating a snake but will try it. The only other option was some jerky, and that wouldn’t fill my stomach.
I take the big piece he gives me and nibble at the meat. It tastes okay, but the texture isn’t to my liking. Still, I finish about half of it, knowing it is an excellent energy source.
“I’ve been thinking about what I said back at the Star Kingdom,” he says, still eating the snake. “You should learn some self-defense, and I would like to show you before I leave you.”
I give it some thought, knowing I should take him up on his offer. The problem is, I didn’t think I could handle being close enough to him to learn. I haven’t allowed another man even to shake my hand in cycles. I will only have anything to do with Thomas.
“I don’t think I can,” I admit to him. “I would like to learn, but…”
“You are afraid to be touched,” he finishes for me. I nod, and he does too. “What if you try to touch me instead?”
My eyes shoot to him and I look at him like he is crazy. “I can’t touch you.”
“I won’t move,” he whispers. “You can touch my hand, my arm, my face. Wherever you feel most comfortable.”
I feel the anxiety rising already at his words and shake my head, “No, I don’t want to touch you.”
“Jenna, you have to face your fears one day,” he breathes, and it reminds me of what Beth said before I left. “You need to learn to protect yourself. You can’t live alone in the mountains. Some men travel in them, and you are bound to run into some dangerous characters.”