by Gina Manis
“You shared something with him, and it hurts to know you did so with someone besides me,” I tell her. “I am here, Jenna, because I care about you. I would hope by now, we had enough respect between us you could at least talk to me.”
I turn and walk away, hurt more than I have ever been. I don’t wait for her response. I don’t know if I could handle it. All my hopes and dreams for us in the future seem lost to me.
Chapter Nine
Jenna
Arrow hasn’t spoken to me all day. We didn’t do our morning training, didn’t stop for lunch, and it is into the evening, and still, we move on. I push on behind him, barely keeping up.
He is mad at me over Bran, and I don’t blame him. I knew he would be angry, but I didn’t expect him to ignore me completely. I thought we had grown into better friends than this. Maybe I am wrong. I’ve never had a man as a friend before, and I don’t know their habits.
Bran told me before we came back to camp that Arrow likely would attack him. He told me not to interfere, that he would be fine. I watched Arrow hit him, and Bran not even fight back. The rage I saw in Arrow scared me. I’ve never seen how powerful he is, but when he pushed Bran with his wind, and he went flying, I had to look away.
His anger is now directed at me, but he won’t talk about it. Instead, he keeps moving, and I can’t go anymore. I stop, knowing it is time for me to confess to what I did with Bran. I don’t fully understand it yet myself and wanted more time to process why I allowed it. To see if the dreams will come of Bran and if the nightmares will stop.
Arrow’s silence is too much for me and it isn’t like anything happened that he may be thinking. Sure, Bran kissed me, but it was sweet and soft, full of compassion and care. His hands on my skin didn’t make it crawl like ants were covering me. It was a novel experience for me and one I wanted to enjoy and not be judged for. Arrow is judging, but he is getting it all wrong.
“We ran,” I call to him, and he stops but doesn’t turn around. “We ran over this prairie land and down into this gorge where there was this beautiful waterfall. He took me under it, and it is there… he kissed me.”
He stands there quietly for a moment before he asks without turning, “Why did you let him?”
“Because he said he could take my nightmares away,” I tell him, and he finally turns, and our eyes meet. “Because I believed that he could and to be honest… I would do anything to have some peace in the nights.”
“And did he take them away?” He asks.
“I don’t know,” I tell him truthfully. “I didn’t get much sleep last night. Besides, I don’t have nightmares every night.”
He sighs and looks out over the mountain we are on. The edge of Mountainside is close, most likely, we will arrive within a few days. I didn’t want us to part on bad terms. He had asked to stay with me before, but I didn’t blame him if it wasn’t what he wanted now.
“What did he whisper to you before he left?” He asks, and my face grows hot.
Bran's last parting words had been sweet and had made me feel good, “To look for him in my dreams because I would be in his.”
“Do you have feelings for him?” he asks me after a moment.
It is hard to answer because I don’t know. Bran gave me a gift as far as I am concerned, but he confessed to me he has done so for numerous women. I wasn’t jealous of that fact, and it reminds me of something Bran had said, “He touches the mind, Arrow, not the heart.”
He nods, but I can see he is still hurt, and I wait for his response. I am coming to realize, partially because of Bran, that Arrow wants more from me. When I think back to Thomas, he may have given a few hints. It is because of him I am with Arrow on this journey. Somehow, I know Thomas is the reason we are together in the first place.
Bran may have fixed my nightmares, but he can’t fix everything about me. His touch is soothing because of who he is and what he does, but others were not like him. Arrow isn’t like him. Arrow is too strong and dominant even though he has forced nothing on me—just that one touch to my face last night when we returned.
The touch had surprised me at how soft it was with his rough hands. For some reason I didn’t feel the immediate urge to pull away, but I did more from surprise than response. He gave me little time to think about it before he was on Bran.
Then, I touched Arrow’s chest, more by experiment than anything. To see if I could tolerate touching him as I did Bran. I did so of my own free will, and even now, I am not sure how I felt about it. Something inside me wanted to pull my hand back, but my heart was telling me to feel and not think. It too, didn’t last as long as I felt I needed to gain answers.
“It was hard seeing you with him.” His delay in comment snaps me back to the present.
“I am sorry for making you worry,” I tell him, knowing that my actions were so uncharacteristic of me. Arrow knew they were, as we have been around each other for cycles. He was a good friend to my family, and he has protected me before from Jared. I want things to be good between us again. “Do you think you can forgive me?”
“I don’t know if there is anything to forgive,” he says, looking away. “To be honest, you don’t owe me an explanation even though I demanded one. You have promised nothing to me. Who you kiss or don’t shouldn’t be my business.”
The sound of his mellow voice stings instead and hurts me more deeply than I expect. “I need us to get this straight, Arrow. I am not sorry about what I did with Bran. I know you don’t understand, and to be honest, I don’t so much as well. I want to make this right between us, but you can’t use him as an excuse.”
He doesn’t like that but nods, “While we are getting things straight, there is something you should know.”
He steps towards me, and I don’t move. Little by little I am feeling less fear of him. Instead, I am more curious about his actions. “What?”
He stops in front of me and tilts my head up to his, and it surprises me. My first instinct is to pull away, but there is a determined look in his eyes as he searches my face. I don’t move away. I don’t even have a strong urge to as I wait for his point of view.
“I’m in this for your heart.” My breath catches at hearing him say those words. My heart that I keep locked tightly away, and he just slid a key into it.
“Arrow,” I whisper his name, not sure what to say. He doesn’t turn away but just stares at me.
“Don’t tell me no and that there is no chance I can reach it,” he whispers. “I have faith, and I can wait for however long it takes. I will not push you, I promise, but you need to know how much I care.”
He leans forward and kisses me before I can even process his words. As fast as his lips touch mine, he pulls back and moves away. “Let’s find a place to camp.”
He leaves me there, and I touch my lips, which tingle from the sudden brush of his. Arrow just kissed me. Well, I’m not sure if that would be considered a kiss, but it was something, and I can’t help but smile.
I feel something is already changing inside of me. I’m not so sure if it is Bran or Arrow, or maybe even both of them. With Bran, there was no fear, but with Arrow, there still is. His touch brings new excitement and a need I think I would like to explore.
I smile at the thought, wondering, if maybe with the right man, could life be different? Bran may have opened my mind up to the possibilities, but I have a feeling Arrow could open up my heart.
◊ ◊ ◊
“The stars are beautiful tonight,” I whisper aloud as I feel my eyes grow heavy. I know sleep is coming soon, but fear it as I always do. Will the nightmares come tonight, or will it be Bran as he promised? I am afraid to find out.
Arrow doesn’t answer, and I turn my head in his direction on the other side of the fire and see him sleeping soundly. His hair, kind of long, lays over his eye. I wish it were that easy for me.
I sigh and look back up at the stars. The moon shines bright on one side of the sky. If people were stars
, how would they see us in this world?
“They would cry and laugh, love, and work to burn brightly in their life,” Bran whispers, and I turn my head to see him lying on the ground, looking up at the stars with me.
“You’re here.” I break into a smile as he turns and looks at me.
“It took you awhile.” He turns his body towards mine and props his head on his arm. “You didn’t believe I would come.”
“I wanted to,” I tell him, turning to him now as we lie there and look at each other.
“It is okay. I understand why. Rest assured, I will always come,” he says, smiling at me.
“So, what do we do?” I ask him.
“We can do anything,” He tells me. “Your dreams can take us anywhere.”
“To the ocean?” I ask him.
“I would prefer you to aim for the beach,” he says with a chuckle. “I’m not the best swimmer.”
I giggle. I don’t know how long it has been since I have done that. “Nor am I.”
“Where makes you the happiest?”
I think about that for a moment and in doing so; I think of what it felt like on that prairie he took me to before. How calm it felt in the high grass and the wind blowing around us. It has been so calming, and to me, that is my happy place.
The wind shuffles my hair around my face and I open my eyes and see that we are no longer at the camp but laying in the grass in that very prairie. I sit up and look around, seeing the same starry sky above us.
“This is amazing.”
“You brought us here,” he says, sitting up beside me. “I thought you would like this place. The wind is what makes me love it so.”
I look at him as he raises his arms and makes a circular motion and the wind blows stronger around us.
“Have you brought… other women here?”
He looks at me and shakes his head. “No. You are curious about me and what I do. Does it bother you that I help other women?”
“No!” I exclaim. “I was just wondering.”
He hides a laugh behind his hand like he is shy about it before dropping it. “The truth is, I have never told another woman what I do. You are the first.”
“Really? Why?”
“I don’t know.” He says, getting up and offering me his hand. I take it, and he pulls me up to stand beside him. “I felt like you should know me more. It has never been a secret; it just hasn’t ever come up.”
“Thank you for telling me,” I tell him as we hold hands. They are a little hard, but not like Arrow’s. “I take it you have been successful then?”
“If you are hinting at how many women I have helped, I don’t know,” he whispers as he turns, and we walk over the land. The cool breeze still flows around us and feels almost like we are walking on a cloud.
“No, don’t tell me,” I say softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so curious.”
“I’ve never helped a woman like you,” he says, looking over at me sadly, “A child is the hardest to heal, and I am fortunate not to run into many of them.”
“How do you help them?” I asked, feeling like he wanted to speak of it.
“I hold them and let them cry it out.” He says, stopping and turning to me. I can see how this isn’t easy for him to say. That with a child, it is more painful for him. “I absorb their pain instead of drawing it out. It drains me and makes me sick.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Don’t be,” He says, touching my face. “It is worth it to see them smile again.”
“With women, it is different, though?”
“Yes,” He says, smiling again. “With women, I draw it out slowly in dreams. It allows me to help more. You are the youngest woman I have ever been with. Approaching you, I felt that innocence of a child, but I didn’t want to treat you like them.”
I feel my face getting a little hot and turn away. “What made you treat me like a woman?”
“Because you’re on the verge of love.” He says, and I turn back to him. “Arrow cares for you deeply and you for him, more than you realize.”
His speaking to me and Arrow concerns me. I struggle to imagine loving Arrow, who was so hard and strong. He scared me sometimes with how strong he is. I feel like he will engulf me.
Bran, on the other hand, makes me feel so calm and relaxed. I can see myself falling for him.
“I want to tell you not to have such thoughts of me, but I can’t,” he says sadly as he raises my chin. “The urge to explore that emotion is a great temptation of mine. I am afraid it will cost me my gift, and I do very much enjoy helping others.”
“Can you always read my mind?” I ask him.
“It is a part of my gift,” He whispers. “Just like this.”
He lowers his head and touches his lips to mine, kissing me softly. All conversation falls away then as I let myself get lost in his present. This dream is one I don’t want to end.
Chapter Ten
Arrow
She looks so happy this morning, and I am afraid to ask why. Last night, we talked little as we made camp and laid down for the night. I want to ask her if she dreamed of him but have a feeling that she did and it is why she is in such a good mood. She can’t seem to stop smiling, and I have even heard her hum as we walk.
“Arrow. Do you think we could stop early today?” she asks, coming up beside me. “I would like to wash some of my clothes and get a bath.”
“I guess we can,” I say as we continue to walk. “As long as we practice some of your defense skills.”
“Deal, but after we have both bathed and set camp,” she offers, and I nod my head.
“We should find a place then by the water.”
“I like this area here,” she runs and jumps on a small beach area that is surrounded by a rock wall along its border. “The water looks shallow and calm.”
She must have just been eyeing it before saying something to me. I look around and see there is little around in the form of setting up camp but still nod my head. “Let’s set camp then, and then we will wash some clothes.”
One thing I like about Jenna is that she is not much of a talker like me. We go about setting camp without saying much but always seem in sync with what we should do. She gathers some wood while I go hunting. I always skin the meat before returning to camp, and Jenna takes it from me and cuts it, spearing the meat to cook over the fire she started.
I know she doesn’t like the meat diet so much and so I found some blackberries while out and wrapped them for her. I will give them to her later tonight. Kind of as a surprise from me, and hopefully she will provide me with a smile.
We wash our clothes together and lay them out on the rocks, letting them dry in the sun as much as possible before it goes down. We leave on our clothes as we eat, and then, I leave, going off to bathe in another area with some clean clothes. I wash my last dirty pair before returning and laying them out, also.
Jenna is already by the fire and is brushing her hair out. She usually wears it in a braid down her back, but seeing it like this, she looks younger and even more innocent. It is sexy but also reminds me to keep my distance.
She goes to braid it, and I call to her, “Leave it down, please.” She looks at me, and I realize I said that aloud and look away. “It looks pretty like that.”
She brings it over her shoulder in front of her and just sits there. “When I was younger, I wished it was the same color as Beth’s. She is so beautiful with her blonde hair, and I didn’t like mine as red.”
“Your hair is just as beautiful as your sisters.” Beth is beautiful like Jenna says, but Jenna looks just like her aside from the hair color along with the fact there are about ten cycles between them. Just like between Jenna and me.
“I was thinking that when I find my own place, I shall cut it,” she says, and my head shoots back to her.
“No, don’t cut it!” I tell her in almost a plea. I want to get the chance to run my fing
ers through it.
“But it will be a new beginning for me,” she says, smiling. “besides, it most likely will be more practical.”
“Women at Mountainside have long hair, Jenna,” I tell her, not wanting her to cut it. “It seems to work out fine for them.”
“It is only an idea,” she tells me shrugging.
“Are we going to do any practicing?”
“With my hair down?” She looks at me, rolling her eyes.
“Bow practice will do and it will not get in the way,” I say, reaching for it, and she groans. Out of all the weapons I have shown her, she hates the bow. My one and most trusted weapon, which I find I am the most bonded to. “We could give some hand to hand a try if you would like?”
She shakes her head, and I already knew she was going to reject the idea. She hasn’t agreed to it yet. The bow hasn’t been the easiest for me to teach her, either. I wonder if I will ever be able to talk her through getting her aim right without being able to get close enough to get a sightline from her.
After about a dozen failed attempts, I still can’t see why her aim is so off, even standing five feet behind her. “Your form looks fine, but your sight is all wrong. What are you looking at?”
“Arrow, my hand is getting sore,” she complains to me instead of answering. A bow clip would help with that, but I don’t have one.
“The bow is going to be the best weapon for you,” I try to tell her. “It isn’t that hard; you just have to get your sight right.”
“Well, maybe I am blind then.”
“You’re not blind; your aim with the knife seems fine.”
“Then how about we practice that one?”
“No, now, you have to get this,” I say, holding out my hand and taking out several arrows and lining them up together. In a flash, I shoot and each of the arrows hit the three trees in front of us. “If I can hit three, then you can learn to hit at least one.”
“Show off,” she says, looking at the three arrows.