by Gina Manis
“That is not showing off,” I inform her. My skill goes way beyond shooting triples. That was the first trick I ever learned, and I was maybe six when I learned to do it.
“Then how about you show me?”
“I will as soon as you get it.”
“Why is it so important I learn this one skill?” she asks me. “It is obviously my weakness.”
“Well, if I could get close enough to you, I could see what you are doing wrong, and it wouldn’t be a weakness,” I say, getting frustrated with her. It bothers me that she can’t shoot my bow. I don’t see why it is so hard for her.
She looks down instead of answering me, and I know I have said too much. I shouldn’t have said that like… I don’t know, as some attempt to get close to her.
“Let’s try this,” I say, handing her the bow and arrows and walking out towards the tree. I turn to face her. “Shoot me.”
“What? You’re Crazy!”
“You will not hit me; your aim is awful,” I tell her. “But maybe I can see what you’re doing wrong.”
“I am not going to try to shoot you!”
“You’re not going to shoot me.”
“I might.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Arrow!”
“Jenna! Why can’t you just trust me?” I ask her. “Aim for my chest; it is the largest area.”
“I can’t do it!” She says, throwing the bow down to the ground.
“Why not?” I shout at her for giving up. I move quickly in front of her, and she gasps before stepping back. “You think I can’t move faster than an arrow? Why can’t you just trust me?”
“Okay, so you can move fast, and maybe I wouldn’t shoot you!” she yells back at me. “But it is still a chance, and I won’t do it.”
“What if it comes to that one day, Jenna? What about the day it is some bad man standing there? Will you shoot then?”
“You’re an ass,” she shouts.
“So, what if I am?” I shout back. “If you're mad, shoot me!”
“No!”
“I told you, you will not hit me,” I tell her again. “Why are you so afraid?”
“I am not afraid. I just don’t want to try to kill you.”
“I’m just a man, like any other,” I tell her. “You’re afraid of me getting close to you. What if I tried something, Jenna? Would you try to kill me then?”
“Stop pushing me.”
“You need to be pushed! You need to protect yourself.”
“Not from you!” she shouts back, and her words hit a chord in me. I lift my hand towards her and she backs away. Obviously, she might not fear me, but she doesn’t want my touch. She turns away and starts walking back to camp. “I am done with this. I am tired and going to lie down.”
To visit him? To touch him when you do not touch me? I saw her laugh and smile in her sleep last night. No nightmares like the first few nights we were together, and I had to move away. I don’t know which is more challenging now: to see her pain or her happiness.
“Fine!” I shout after her. “Go visit your little boyfriend!”
She gasps and turns to me with a look of shock. “How dare you?”
“It is obvious why you are smiling all the time now,” I say to her, angry and jealous. She picks up a rock and throws it at me. I catch it in the air right at my chest. “Your aim is much better with a rock.”
“Lesson is over, Arrow,” she shouts at me. “You cross a line bringing up Bran to me. I told you I will not apologize for what happened between us. Nor will I feel bad about my dreams with him.”
“They are dreams!” I shout at her. “I am real! I am the one standing in front of you. Instead of facing the world, you want to live in your fantasy.”
“So what if I do?” she says. “I have spent cycles having dreams that wake me up screaming or soaking wet with sweat. You do not understand what happened to me. What you know is by what Thomas may have told you, but do you think I told him everything?”
“Jenna, I know these dreams might be better, but they are not real.”
“I don’t care. They make me happy, and for the first time, I feel alive again,” she says. “You will not make me feel bad about them.”
I move to speak, but she holds her hand up. “I need him, Arrow. You might not understand it, but it is like I let go a little of my past each time when we talk. That is why I am so happy and light-spirited. If you don’t see that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together any longer.”
She turns and walks away then. “Jenna. Jenna!”
But she doesn’t stop. Dammit! Why did I have to bring him up? Because I am a jealous ass, that is why.
I am doing this all wrong. I keep letting my own emotions run away with me. She is never going to give me a chance if I keep pushing her away.
At Star Kingdom, we never had moments like these. We had little to do with each other at all because someone was always around. I always thought that if we could be alone, everything would fall into place for us. And things had been until Bran showed up.
Whatever she has with him is strong. She connected with him on some level deeper than with anyone else. It doesn’t help me that I fight against it because I am jealous. I need to find a way to accept it before I ruin any chance I do have with Jenna.
I am in love with her and should be willing to accept whatever makes her happy. It is just so damn hard because it is another man.
Chapter Eleven
Jenna
I need some time away from Arrow, and in the middle of the night, I sneak off to be on my own. He will follow me eventually as there is only one way to go, but I need to get away. He doesn’t understand me. What man can know what a woman feels after being violated? I wasn’t even a full-grown woman when it happened to me. My innocence lost to three brutal men who tore my body to pieces and then beat it and left me, a virtual dead girl on the ground. Maybe I was dead, as it had killed something inside of me.
I know he means only to help me, but he can’t. Bringing up Bran to me again made me so angry yesterday. I refused to talk to him even when he gave me a cloth full of berries. I wouldn’t eat them last night but I munch down on them now as I walk.
I’ve only had one dream of Bran, but it was wonderful. We talked for the longest time, and then we ran on the prairies again. It was fun, and I have never been so carefree and happy before. As the light filled the night sky, Bran had turned to me, saying it was time to go. He leaned forward, and I raised my head, accepting his gentle kiss goodbye. I feel no shame over what I have with Bran, and the sooner Arrow learns that, the better.
For cycles Arrow has been coming to my home, and my family love him. Beth and Thomas were always laughing and told jokes with him as the children played around them. I would sit and watch, never joining in except for a few words here and there. Because Arrow was a man like all the rest, and I didn’t want to get to know him.
He should have seen that after all these cycles. Why did he even care to try with me? He never has before—there is no real reason for him to start now. I feel bad for leaving him, but know I can’t stay here and have him keep pushing me. This journey is about my independence, not falling under some man’s rule.
The terrain is getting harder to travel by the river, with more large rocks and boulders to go around. I move off into the wooded lands. I have been traveling for some time, keeping the river in sight when I come upon a woman struggling with several water buckets. It looks like she is trying to carry them from the water to somewhere, but she is walking funny.
I glance around but see no one else around. She sees me also and waves, “Hello there.”
I walk towards her but keep my eyes out for anyone else around. “Hello.”
“My, look at you, a young one out here in the middle of nowhere,” she says, a smile on her face. She is an older woman, maybe in her forties with some gray hair. “I haven’t seen many travelers through these parts of l
ate. Where are you heading, my dear? Mountainside or Star Kingdom?”
“Mountainside,” I tell her as it should be clear with the direction I am taking.
“Well, you still have about three days to travel,” she says, cheerily and holds out her hand. “My name is Brit.”
“Jenna.” I shake her hand as I tell her my name. “Are you hurt?”
“I am,” She says, pointing down to her foot. “I twisted my ankle down by the water and am having a heck of a time of getting my buckets home.”
“You don’t have no one to help you?” I ask her, looking to see if she is alone, too.
“No, it's just me,” she says sadly. “My husband fell and hurt his back, trying to tend to our leaking roof. He has been laid up in bed going on five days.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I am curious about her, thinking she lives as I want to. “Would you like me to help you?”
“Oh, that would be so helpful,” she says, clapping her hands together. “I have an apple pie cooling in the windowsill at home. Would you like to rest for a bit and have some with us? We rarely get visitors.”
“I would, thank you,” I say, taking the rope tied to the buckets and lifting them over my shoulder. I follow her as she hobbles ahead of me.
“Oh, I am so excited to have someone to talk to,” she starts, and doesn’t stop after that. “He broke his dang leg, yes he did. Now I’ve gone and twisted mine. I don’t know what I am going to do. My rainwater barrels have dried up on me with no rain, so I had to come down here. I’m used to it, but I slipped on a toad, believe it or not, and it scared me. I jumped back, and when I stepped down, twist it went, and so did I. Right down on the ground. I bet my bottom is going to be sore tomorrow. Yep, that’s what happens when you get old. Every bruise you feel right down into the bone. My poor Rufus broke his, though, and he has been in a world of pain. I tried to set it best I could, but well, he's just as old as I am, and most likely, he is going to be limping on it now. I don’t know what to do with that roof. We have been lucky with no rain, but I know it is going to be dropping out buckets of it not too much longer. My poor house is going to be flooded. If it wasn’t for that dang tree.”
I don’t know what I have just got myself into, but the woman talks on and on. She is entertaining, the way she tilts her head and gestures with her hands. She has this twitch in her left eye, and the way she looks at the ground as we walk, I wonder how well she can see.
“I told him not to cut it. That it was too close to the house, but did he listen? No. The tree is dead, he said and was going to fall anyway. I don’t know if it was or wasn’t because I don’t see too well. It doesn’t bother me, anyway. I never had it to begin with. I’m sure my husband is one lucky bastard that I can’t see.”
We are coming up on her house now, and she is still just talking. I don’t think I have said one word since accepting her invitation. Still, I listen on, trying not to laugh at half the stuff she says.
“Can you pour one bucket of water into that large bucket with the cloth?” She asks when we get to the house. She points to some kind of gadget along with the house.
“This is my bathhouse,” She tells me. “Rufus invented it for me. It’s what he does. You have an idea; he can make it. He used to build things for one of those kings, he did. But we always wanted to live someplace quieter. I say we got it.”
I pour the water in the bucket as she explains to me how it works. It sounds incredible, actually, and I wonder if I could be creative enough to make something like it. I study the structure and see how it works.
“But it will be so cold,” I say, thinking about it after a moment.
“I heat the other bucket and will pour it in the barrel and mix before I lift the cloth. Water is warm and feels so good. The king’s bedroom has one. Fancier, if you can imagine, but those Water elements have a thing for their element. I can just imagine what goes on in that closet.”
“You have seen it?” I ask, finding it fascinating she has been to the Water Kingdom. “I hear it is beautiful there.”
“It is beautiful,” she says with a smile, and I wonder how she sees it so clearly. “Fresh and white with splashes of different blues. The flowers are so beautiful, set in these huge black vases all times of cycle.”
“It sounds beautiful,” I say, knowing she explained it as best she could.
“Come into the house and meet Rufus. He is going to get a kick out of you.” She moves around the house, and I follow. I can’t help, but let my eyes wander around the different gadgets sitting around. I have no idea what they do.
“Hey, Fuss, we have company, now, you behave,” she says as she opens the door, and I follow her in. “Sit that bucket on the floor there. This is Rufus, the old goat that broke his leg.”
“Now Brit, don’t lay in on me about that again,” he warns her as he sits up in his chair and looks me over. “Well, hello there, little lady.”
“This is Jenna,” Brit says as she shoos me to a chair. “She is on her way to Mountainside.”
“Well, that is something. You all alone, sweetheart?” He asks me right off, looking concerned.
“Well, kind of,” I say, not sure how to say I had Arrow following me.
“Kind of?” he asks. “You either alone or not, girl?”
“I have someone following me,” I say and seeing him become alarmed, add, “He is a good man. I just needed to get away for awhile.”
“Oh, dear,” Brit says. “I think you about gave us both a heart attack.”
“I’m sorry, I should have said that differently.”
“It’s okay,” the man says. “She just overreacts all the time.”
“More company means you are down a piece of the pie,” she says to him, and I watch his face turn sad about it.
I sit with them for almost an hour before I make my mind up. I intend to stay a few days and help them with their roof. Arrow most likely won’t be pleased, but I like these older people, and they are hurt and need some help. They said they could pay, but it wasn’t about the money with the coins Thomas has given me. I want to do something nice for them, and I also want to get a better look at some things around here. Maybe I can use some of this at my place like the rain bath outside.
I excuse myself after about an hour, knowing Arrow should be here soon. Walking back down towards the river, sure enough, I see him coming towards me. I stop in front of him and hold out the plate of pie as a peace offering.
“What is this?” he asked, taking it.
“Some of the best apple pie I have ever had,” I tell him with a soft smile. “There is an older couple back that way, and they need some help. They are both hurt and I want to stay for a few days and see if I can repair their roof.”
“We shouldn’t waste time if you plan to stay in the mountains alone this winter. There is a lot to do to get you set up.” He reminds me of all the hard work coming soon but I look at this as a moment I can get my feet wet. I have desired this life for so long, and when I do find my own place, it will make it that much more special.
“I know, but there is some wonderful stuff around here that I want to check out. The old man is an inventor.” He still doesn’t look happy, but I know what he wants. Training is something I need, and I believe Arrow is the person to show me. “I want you to teach me to protect myself. I know you are right, but it isn’t easy for me. I need a little time and maybe spending a few days here around others might allow me to give in to that need.”
He relaxes his stance some and drops his bag, keeping the pie level in his hand. “We can stay. If you think it will help in some training. Five days and no more.”
“That should be plenty of time for Brit and Rufus.” I am pleased that he agrees so readily. The older couple remind me somewhat of my own mother and father. My parents had been older when they had me. Children hadn’t been easy for them, and even Beth was born late in their lives. I don’t have too many memories of either of them.
Father died when I was small, and I was nine when mother got the virus. “I must warn you; they are some talkers.”
“Oh well, I guess we won’t get bored, then.”
“No, we will not,” I laugh as I agree and I like that he cracks a grin. I point to the pie, “You better eat that before we get to the house. I saw the old man eying it as I left.”
We turn and walk back to the house together. Arrow can be sweet and even fun when he wants to. I never paid much attention to him before, but I remember him making Beth and Thomas laugh. And my niece and nephew had adored him.
I had always tried to stay in my bubble when he was around. I would draw or find something to stay busy with. Staying still was always a problem when men were around. My skin would crawl, reminding me of ants all over me.
Since we have been gone and always on the move, I haven’t felt that need so much and I don’t feel it now. I am at ease with him, and I can’t help but think I should have tried harder with him. I still don’t know Arrow well, but I am wanting to.
Chapter Twelve
Arrow
Jenna is right about the older couple, and I do like them. She and the older man talk a lot about his inventions, and he has even made it outside on crutches, happy to speak with someone about them. She helped me fix the roof, wanting to know how it was done. There were a few other things that needed doing, and I took them on also, having little else to do.
It wasn’t just the old man that got Jenna’s attention. She and the older woman would spend the evenings talking about canning foods and such. Jenna has a book she has been writing it all down in. I finally see why she wanted to stay. She is learning and trying to prepare herself better.
I excuse myself from dinner and go outside, taking a walk down by the river. It has been three days, and the couple are big talkers. Even Jenna is talkative with all her questions. I have never seen her so open before. She has never talked with me as much as she has in the last few days.
We sleep out in a little outbuilding each night. The house wasn’t large enough for all of us, but they had what they called a guest cabin. It is just as tiny and has a single bed. I gave it to Jenna and slept on the ground alongside it.