by Gina Manis
I know she needs me right now and what I have to do. Talking with her about Arrow has turned difficult for me. It has never been a problem before, but Jenna stirs so many of my own emotions to life. She makes me feel things I haven’t before, and our time together is not a dream but real for me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t see him before,” I tell her, and she sits up beside me as she wakes. “I should have looked deeper for what was hidden. There is always more. I don’t know why I didn’t.”
She wipes her hair from her face. “It is fine. It changes nothing or how I feel. I just hate that Aaron knows.”
“You are right; it changes nothing,” I whisper to her. She calls him Aaron now because her feelings have changed so much since they made love. He made it special for her, and I am grateful for that. Still, I see him as Arrow, the man with a past that caused him to shut women out. Until he saw Jenna and the stones he built up around him came tumbling down. “Arrow’s only concern is you; it always has been. If you say it is okay, he will be okay with it.”
She looks down at her hands in her lap as she says, “I thought I had found peace with him. I was so happy. It seems the walls always get built back up as fast as we can tear them down.”
“Yes, but you are not afraid to break through them anymore.” I take her hand. “You and Arrow both want the same thing now. Each other.”
She finally gives me a half-smile. “Still, I didn’t want him to know.”
“Why?” I ask, even though I know. It is better if she says it.
“I was afraid he would look at me like he has in the past,” she admits to me. “I hate that look of pity in his eyes more than I do in anyone else’s.”
“That is where you’re wrong, Jenna,” I tell her, and she looks at me. “Arrow has never looked at you with pity. It is sorrow you have always seen in him. You are his soulmate, and because of that, he has always felt your pain.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and I wrap her in my arms. “Why can’t I stop crying?”
“Because you know what you have to lose if you don’t let the pain out. This is it, the last bit left that holds you back. Let it out so you can finally move on.”
She cries in my arms, and I hold her tight as I feel her letting go. With it, she will soon let go of me. It is the way it always is. I can’t help but let my own tears fall because I don’t want to lose her. I tell myself it is for the best that she will be healed.
I don’t know how I will go on once she leaves me. Who will heal my broken heart?
◊ ◊ ◊
Arrow
I should have found a way to tell her about Jared. Now she has remembered, and she knows that I know. I don’t know what upsets her more, me not telling her or merely that I know.
I hang my bow by the stall to bed down for the night. After Jenna walked away from me and slammed the door, I went looking for that damn lion again. I still haven’t found him and am thinking he has left the area. I don’t even smell him in the air. Of course I don’t smell him when Jenna's scent fills the surrounding air. I can’t smell anything but her nowadays.
We spent one glorious night together, and I’ve been daydreaming about it ever since. It has been hard to teach her defense, eat a meal, or even just sit on the porch and watch the sunset with her. It was only after our night when I awoke with her opening the door and caught her naked in the moonlight that I saw something was wrong. She was holding her head and stumbled out the door.
At first, I thought she was sick, but then I heard her sob. I rushed after her as she fell to her knees on the porch. I was frantic with fear, thinking I might have hurt her that last time we were together. I should have been gentler with her. If I had done something that reminded her of the past, I needed to know.
She wrapped her arms around me, and I held her close. When I asked her if I did something, she said no, but I can't believe I did nothing. It was our first time together, and she was in tears, and it scared me. I couldn’t allow us to head in the wrong direction again.
The next day she refused to speak to me about it. I tried to bring it up several times, but she kept trying to distract me. She was good at that, but I had to pull her away.
“Jenna, I want you so badly but I think we should talk about what happened last night.” She shakes her head and tries to join me in my chair again, but I hold her away. “If I did something, I need to know.”
“No, you did everything right,” she signs as her smile becomes seductive and she bites her lip. “Show me again.”
“Jenna, I really need to know.” I try again, watching as she undoes her shirt. She stops, and her smile falls away.
“No, talk about it.” She signs, and I can see I am turning her desire into anger.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, then I’m sorry, but I can’t join you in our bed tonight.” She doesn’t like that as she steps away from me. “I’m not going backward with you anymore. Tell me what upset you so.”
“No.” She signs and crosses her arms in defiance. Well, I can be defiant, too.
“I will sleep in the barn then,” I say, rising from my chair. Jenna pushes me back down, shaking her head at me. Her lips find mine, and I lose my resolve, tasting her once more. I am tempted to place her on this table and have her as my meal this evening, but I pull her away once more and say sternly, “We are not doing this.”
She pushes my hands away from her hips, but I say nothing, knowing I need to get out of here before I take her. Just then, the bowl of soup that was sitting on the table ends up in my lap. I leap up, trying to get the hot soup off me, as it was burning things it shouldn’t.
“Dammit, Jenna!” I shout as I use the towel to wipe my pants off. “Why did you do that?”
“Take them off,” she signs and reaches for my pants, but I move away.
I am tempted to bend her over my knee as I have soup dripping down my pants. My blood is pumping, knowing why she did it, though, and her topless in front of me is hard to pass up. I am not giving in and want to know what happened last night. “If you want me to fuck you, you’re going to have to start talking to me.”
That pisses her off, and before I know it, I am ducking from the book aimed at my head. “Get mad at me. Scream. Shout. I don’t care what you do but say something!”
“Bastard,” she signs as she folds her arms over her chest.
“Speak it in a voice, and I will gladly fuck you every day and night until you beg me for a break,” I say before I storm out of the house.
Three days later and I am still sleeping in the barn. The nights are getting cold, and it isn’t ideal, but the hay helps keep me warm. Jenna and I have kept to our regular schedule, but things have been tense between us. We even started new training but being so close to her in hand to hand has been the hardest temptation to control. When she wrapped herself around me earlier, I was on the verge of taking her right there in the front yard.
When she finally told me what had happened that night, I was floored that she regained the memory of that bastard Jared. I had to confess to her I knew, and she didn’t take it well.
I went looking for that damn lion to give her some time. When I get back to the house, the door is still shut, but I can hear her inside. I turn and head for the barn, not wanting to see her angry or hurt anymore. Not tonight.
I pull out some jerky for my evening meal and lay down on my bed in the hay. Maybe tomorrow will be better. We are supposed to go to my parent's place to have lunch with my family. Katy will be there, and Jenna seems to always be in a lighter mood with her.
I hear the door to the barn open and smell Jenna and fresh soup as she comes around the corner. She has her hair down as I like it but is dressed in her regular clothes as she holds the bowl out to me.
“That isn’t to end up in my lap, is it?” I ask before reaching for it. She smiles and shakes her head. I sit up and take the bowl from her. “Thank you.”
She doesn’t leave but stands t
here as I sit the bowl down on the ground beside me. I feel I should say something, “I’m sorry for pushing you earlier today. I’m sorry for not telling you before.”
She sighs and then signs for me, “I let my past lead me for so long. I don’t want to anymore.”
I nod at her, knowing sign is still new to us both, and she can’t say everything she might want to. “You are amazing, Jenna. I don’t know how you survived then and this past cycle coming face to face with it all over again.”
“I did because of you,” she signs and kneels in front of me. “You gave me your strength. You take care of me.”
“I’m not as strong as you,” I tell her. “I’m scared of hurting you, and it is the last thing in this world I want.”
“You have never hurt me,” she signs. “I love you. I want only you.”
“I love you.” I pull her into my arms then, and we hug each other close. This is where she belongs. In my arms, always. I will never push her again on her past or speaking to me. In some ways, she has already found her voice in sign. I can live with that as long as we are together.
I pull her head to mine, and we kiss, slowly tasting each other after what feels like forever. The food beside me forgotten as I find my true craving in her. She explores my mouth as I do hers and the need for more strikes me hard.
I roll her over and down into my bed of hay. Her hands go for my shirt as I pull at the buttons of her pants. I want her naked so I can explore her body once again. It has been days since we made love, and I have felt every agonizing minute of it.
She pulls back and motions for me to follow. I know she is inviting me back into our bed. There is nothing to hold us away from each other anymore.
I stand and scoop her up into my arms. Jenna giggles as she leans in and kisses me. I carry her out of the barn and towards the house, intending to make love to her tonight. And every night after.
Chapter Forty-Four
Jenna
I feel a deep satisfaction this morning and it has me humming as I make breakfast. Aaron has already brought in the milk and eggs and has gone back out to feed the livestock. Today we are going to see his parents. I recall little about meeting them before, but I remember some faces. I am hoping today I can get to know them.
Aaron warned me that they know of my past. With what happened after we arrived and the state I was in before, he had to tell them something. I am nervous about seeing that look of pity, but I will do everything possible to show them there is no need for it. I am happy, genuinely happy for the first time in my life because of their son.
I will also get to meet some of Aaron’s other brothers and sisters. Katy is his half-sister, but he has told me his other sister and brothers were from his mother.
I wanted to look nice for them today and picked out a dress to wear. I haven’t worn one in so long now, but I felt today called for it. I haven’t put it on yet, not wanting to mess it up, so right now all I have on is Aaron’s shirt and some socks. Our little home is warm with the stove, but the floor always seems cold.
Aaron said something about hunting a bear this winter and making me a bear rug. His hunting bears terrifies me, but he says he has done it before.
Breakfast is just finishing up when Aaron comes back into the house. He washes his hands as I put the gravy on the table with the rest of the food. I stir it as Aaron comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me. I tilt my head to the side as he kisses my neck. Everything just feels so perfect today, now that everything is out in the open and we have made up.
“This looks delicious,” he says as he nips at my neck. “I never thought my shirt would look so appetizing.”
I chuckle as I sign in front of us, “Table of food, and you want to eat your shirt?”
“I want to eat what is in my shirt,” He growls as his hands slide under it, and I gasp as I squirm away from him.
“Your hands are ice,” I sign and hug myself as I move around the table.
He follows me, “Then let me warm them up.”
I sign no as I dash around the table and reach for the wooden spoon on the table. “Stay back.”
“Now, didn’t I tell you to always reach for a sharp weapon to use on your attacker?” he says as he dashes in the other direction around the table.
I squeal as I try to get away from him, but it is too late. He picks me up and sits me down on the wooden bar by the sink, moving between my legs. I swat at him with my spoon, hitting him in the shoulder, and he takes it from me.
“You better be careful with this. I might just use it on you.” Aaron swats me lightly on the hip and then drops it on the floor. His hands move to the few buttons I have done up on his shirt and has it open in no time. “Gods, I can’t get enough of you.”
His hands feel wondrous on my body, and when he takes my lips with his, I am lost in pleasure. Breakfast forgotten, the only thing I need is him inside me again.
◊ ◊ ◊
Arrow
When it comes to Jenna, I am not sure which way is up anymore. I made love to her three times last night, and here it is barely light up, and I have her in our kitchen, breakfast on the table, and I need her again.
It was seeing her in my shirt and wondering if she had on anything underneath. I saw her in it when I brought her the eggs and milk, and it was on my mind the whole time I fed the livestock. My pulse hammers in my temples, as all I could think about was sliding my hands up her legs to see if she had anything on. Discovering that she didn’t, I am hard as a rock for her again, and now I have her just where I want her.
I can’t help teasing her as I chase her around our little house. I plant that curvy bottom of hers on the counter and kiss her with my longing, and she responds eager for more. She is so beautiful with my shirt open for me to explore her body, but all I want to do is taste her once more.
Leaning her back against the wall, I take her by the hips as I lower my face between her open thighs. Her hands run into my hair as she gasps as I stroke her with my tongue. I lift her legs around my shoulders as I devour the soft, silky flesh of her vagina, giving full attention to eating her for breakfast. I want to drive her as crazy as she does me.
She whimpers and cries out as I slip a finger in her and then another as I suck at her bud. I hook my finger up into her, search for that g-spot that I haven’t tried to stimulate yet. I’ve been saving that pleasure, and this is the perfect time to deliver. There are so many things I want to teach her, positions we can try. Jenna seems eager to learn them all, and it shows as she bucks against my face as I tease her clit and rub against her g-spot. She comes for me so fast, and her body grows rapidly wet.
Undoing my pants, I let myself spring out as I stand. She reaches for my member instantly and guides it to her body. I am completely lost as I slide into her. Her body is so welcoming as she sucks me deep inside. I groan as I drive into her.
This bar is just the right height to fit us together. Jenna is panting hard as she leans back on her arms and arches her body into mine. I have a clear and perfect view of her breasts as they bounce up and down from our motion. My shirt hangs off her shoulders. The sight drives me to enter her more quickly, her legs wrapping around me tighter, urging me on.
I slide my hands under her backside, lifting her off the bar into the air, guiding her on me. Her hands rest on my shoulders, but her nails dig into them as she keeps her balance as we move. She is just as lost as I am.
“Come for me, Jenna,” I demand, knowing I can’t stop my release as it is at the tipping point. “Now!”
She screams in her ecstasy as I explode inside, ramming into her so hard, I am almost ashamed of myself. As the tremors settle, I back up and sit us in the chair by the table. I don’t think my legs would even get us to the bed.
We stay like that, connected as we regain our breath. Our bodies tremble together in the afterglow of our lovemaking.
I take her head in my hands and kiss her lightly as I look into her eyes, �
�We are going to be so late for lunch.”
She pulls back and signs, “We still have plenty of time.”
“Yes, but I’m not sure if I can walk after that.” We both laugh as we move to clean ourselves up a little and sit down beside each other, sharing our food before heading out. I make sure to grab the ring I have been waiting to give to her. I’m not sure when I will ask but I know it will be today.
◊ ◊ ◊
Arrow
“Hello!” I shout as we come into my parents’ yard. It is full of my family, the fathers playing with little ones as the women finish preparing and setting the tables outside in the small enclosed porch area. The last time we were here, it was almost a full moon ago.
Mother is the first to appear and comes rushing into the yard. She throws her arms around me and I see father coming from the barn. “It's about time you came to see your family on the full moon. Everyone has been dying to see you and your lady.”
It is true; I didn’t know how Jenna would handle being around my large family. Katy she knows, along with her two husbands and child, and we see them often enough as they live the closest to us. Jenna has met my mother, although she tells me she doesn’t remember.
I am the oldest and then Katy with my father's other wife, but she passed giving birth. My mother, on the other hand, has three more sons and a daughter, with her being the youngest. Lindie and Bret still live here at home, and they have met Jenna, also. As for everyone else, this is the first time.
Our get-togethers are not about the full moon; it just marks the time we all get together to eat and share with the family.