by Deanna Hall
Peter took my hand. “I’ve got you, Mia.”
I looked up at him. “Don’t let go?”
“I won’t, I promise.” I held onto Pete’s hand for dear life. I plastered on a fake smile that even I knew wouldn’t fool anyone.
“This is a surprise, aren’t you two supposed to be on your honeymoon or something?” Peter asked sarcastically.
Spotting a shot of whiskey sitting on the table, I drank it before hugging Penny. “Congratulations.”
Dan looked angry as he got up to offer me his chair. Then Charlie, who was just returning from the bar with a round of drinks, said, “Hey CJ, I see you brought the H…”
I jammed my elbow in his ribs, turning to him, I mouthed “DON’T!”
“The little wifie. What a surprise.” Charlie finished, shooting daggers at me.
“Sorry to crash your fun getaway. Mom called. She said you guys got the news and wanted to celebrate with us. Penny thought it was a great idea, so we drove up for the rest of the weekend.” CJ told us sullenly. Clearly, he wanted to be here about as much as I wanted him here, which was not at all. He gave Pete and me a glance. “I hope we’re not intruding.”
I could feel the jealously radiate off him like he had a right to feel that way. Ignoring him, I said, “Let’s have a toast to the happy couple.” My hand was only slightly shaking when I raised one of the shot glass Charlie had set on the table. “To a lifetime of happiness!” Then I swallowed it down before grabbing another.
“So, how does married life feel?” I asked to break the uncomfortable silence that was settling around the table. Not that I really wanted an answer. I just wanted to avoid someone saying the wrong thing.
Penny, more than happy to elaborate, started rattling on about how romantic it was, how they had exchanged vows in the moonlight. “We promised to always be there for each other and our children. It was so sweet. Then we went to the cabin and stayed in bed until noon. CJ even made me breakfast, or would that be lunch, in bed. Eventually, we even got some sleep.” She giggled.
I felt sick. While flagging over the waitress to order more drinks, I’d drank Pete’s shot. Meanwhile, CJ kept staring at me. I saw the longing in his eyes as Penny rattled on about how fantastic CJ was. “Mia, are you ok?” Pete asked. No, as a matter of fact, I was about as far from okay as I could get. CJ was beginning to piss me off. How could he look at me like that after spending a night and half a day in bed with Penny?
The band had returned just before I answered. “Just terrific. Pete, Charlie, someone let’s go dance? That is what we came here for right?” I asked as I drank one more shot that was sitting on the table.
Charlie gave CJ a deliberate stare. “Sure thing, Scrappy. Let’s go.” He led me to the dance floor. “You ok?”
“A couple more drinks, and I’ll be dandy. The way CJ is looking at me is just pissing me off.”
“I get it only alcohol isn’t the answer, Mia. We need to tell him. If CJ knows the truth, you can be together like you’re meant to be.”
“It’s his baby, Charlie. Penny found out she was pregnant right after she started hooking. Her boss was the one who took her to the doctor. Her pregnancy coincides exactly to when CJ came here to visit her.”
“You can’t be sure of that, Mia. It could be some other guys, like that Steve guy or anybody. Penny always was a slut. Besides, she was still a hooker for God’s sake. CJ needs to know that.”
“Then what? Is he supposed to spend the rest of his life miserable, knowing what his wife did for a living before they were married? Pack law says he has to be with her and raise their child. How do you think he’ll feel?”
“I suppose your right, but nothing will hurt him as much as losing you, Mia.”
“I wasn’t the one who rushed off and got married. I told him I’d wait, Charlie. Heck, I would have waited until his kid was grown if I had to. He forced this bond on me; then, he couldn’t even wait one lousy weekend for me to get to the truth.”
Charlie’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean forced this on you?”
“Nothing, forget I mentioned it.”
“How did CJ force the bond on you, Mia?” I could feel Charlie getting angry.
“It doesn’t matter. Let it go, Charlie. It’s history. He’s got Penny, and I have to learn to live with it. I just want to drink enough to make the pain go away for a while. Maybe have someone hold me through the night. I just need to get through tonight and take life one day at a time.”
“You can’t stay drunk forever, and sleeping with Peter or me isn’t the answer either as much as I’d like a shot at you. It won’t change anything.”
“So what am I supposed to do, Charlie, stay alone and miserable the rest of my life while he lives his life with her?”
“This really sucks.”
“Yeah, it does.”
“Mia, CJ’s may be my best friend, but sometimes he’s a real ass. I’m in your corner. If you need me, I’m there.”
“Thanks, Charlie. You’re a good friend.”
Charlie got a mischievous grin. “And Mia, if you really need someone to hold you, I’m sure I could step up and take one for the team.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Despite being a, what was it Claire had called him, oh yeah, a major player, Charlie was a good guy. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
The song ended, so we reluctantly made our way back to the table. I was already feeling the shots I’d drank and tripped over my chair, which got me giggling. I would have fallen if Pete hadn’t caught me.
CJ asked, “Geeze Mia, how many drinks have you had? You’re not even old enough to be drinking. How could you guys let her drink this much? While we’re on the subject, where’d you get those clothes? You look like a damn hooker.”
I looked at CJ and burst out laughing. “Now that’s funny. You know I didn’t even know what a hooker was until last night.” I shook my head, adding, “You know what, CJ, your gonna have to make me a list of what I am and am not old enough to do. Although you will have to be a little more consistent then you were the other night.” He flinched and had the decency to look ashamed.
“Forget it; I’ll drink as much as damn well, please. So fuck you, oh wait, that’s Penny’s job now, isn’t it.” I giggled and poked him in the chest. “I’ve had fewer drinks then I’m going to. I haven’t caught up with last night yet, have I guys? This is a celebration, isn’t it? You and Penny get to live happily ever after.
I couldn’t find anyone to chase away my bad dreams last night, but looking around here, I see a world of possibilities. I bet I could find a guy here to take me home with him. Penny, Dallas already offered me a job. What do you think guys think I could make it as a dancer in this place?”
CJ grabbed my hand. “Your drunk. We’re taking you home.”
Penny spoke up, “CJ, let her have some fun. She never got the chance before.”
Dan was steaming by then. Looking around the table, he asked, “Dammit, are you all gonna pretend that there’s not a problem here?” When everyone looked at their drinks, Dan stated, “She’s not the damn hooker around here. If nobody else is gonna tell you, I will. He’s our best friend. He has a right to know.”
I turned to Dan and begged, “Don’t do it, Dan, pleassse. Nothing good is going to come of this. Please, please, please.” I begged.
“I’m sorry, Mia, baby or not, if I were CJ, I would want to know.”
“Then let me handle it.” I insisted.
Dan shrugged. “Fine. Tell him now, or I will!”
I turned to Penny instead. “Penny, your neighbor, Steve, came by to party with us last night. He was very chatty. I think you should tell CJ about your lifestyle the past couple of months before he finds out from someone else.”
The color drained from Penny’s face. She looked petrified. “I, I can’t. Please, Dan, you don’t understand. Life here was hard. I was flat broke after eight months. I did what I had to do. You know my dad; he drank all the money he made away. CJ always t
ook care of me. I didn’t know what else to do. My boss said all the college girls do it.”
I reached out to Penny’s spirit for the first time. She was scared to death. Not just by this. Someone had hurt her.
I suddenly felt very sorry for her. I wished I’d never come here. None of this would have happened if I’d just left things alone. I could tell she was on the verge of falling apart. “Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on!” CJ demanded.
Charlie spoke up, “Your wife has been supporting herself on her back, got herself knocked up, and needed a baby daddy.” CJ looked at all of us as Charlie’s words sunk in.
Then CJ looked at Penny, who was sobbing. “Penny?” he questioned. She just kept crying, saying she was sorry over and over.
What CJ did next was totally unexpected. He turned to me, grabbed my hand, and started pulling me towards the door. I stumbled after him. “What are you doing?” I demanded.
“We’re going home. You don’t belong here. I’ll be damned if you’re going to end up like Penny.” CJ answered vehemently. His anger was radiating off him in waves now.
I stopped dead in my tracks, making him turn to face me. “CJ, Penny is your wife now. You just spent last night and half of today consummating the commitment you made to her. You need to talk to her. She needs you. Besides, the baby is yours. She was already pregnant when she started hooking.” I told him.
“Are you insane? She lied to me. She was a fucking hooker for God’s sake. There is no way for anyone to know who the father is. I almost lost everything because of her. I’ll get a paternity test. After the baby is born, if it’s mine, I’ll get custody of it. Shouldn’t be hard given the circumstances. Even the pack will agree she isn’t fit to raise a child.”
I jerked my hand from his. “CJ, she’s desperate and scared. Someone in her past hurt her badly. I know how she feels.”
“Well, it wasn’t me. All I ever did was take care of Penny and spoil her rotten, and in the end, she left me anyway. Besides, I can’t forgive her for this. She almost cost me you.”
Now I was getting angry. “No, CJ, you did that all by yourself. If you won’t talk to her, I will. She’s all alone in the world, and it’s crashing down on her. At least I had my friends around me when mine imploded.”
Jerking my hand out of his, I turned on my heel and walked back to the table. Squatting down next to Penny, who was crying hysterically, I said, “Penny, look at me.” I took her hands from her face, making her look at me. “It’s gonna be ok. I’m not gonna let you go through this alone. Whatever happens, you’ve got a friend. I’ll be there to help you through this, I promise.”
Penny looked at me through her tears, her face streaked with mascara. “You’d help me even after what I’ve done? After I stole CJ right out from under you with a lie. Why?” She asked brokenly.
“Because I know what it’s like to be alone and scared.”
Penny threw herself into my arms so hard I fell back on my bottom.
We sat on the floor with her sobbing on my shoulder. I quietly asked her, “Who hurt you?”
“My dad, ever since my mother left us. He’d get drunk, and you know, take me. That’s why I wanted to get out of town. I hated it there. I never told anyone. Not even CJ. I tried to be a popular, classy girl to hide my shame.”
I rubbed her back. “It’s ok; you’re not alone anymore.”
“I think it’s CJ’s baby. I’m almost sure of it. I had come down with strep and was on an antibiotic when he came to visit me. I read that they can interfere with your birth control pills. It was the only time I ever had unprotected sex. When CJ left me again, I was crushed and broke. That’s when I accepted the side job Dallas was offering.”
Pete, who had remained silent through all this, came over to help us up. “Come on, let’s get out of here.” Dan and Charlie were looking ashamed while CJ looked lost. Pete put his arm around Penny leading her out the door as the rest of us followed.
When we got back to the apartment, Pete and I tucked an exhausted Penny into bed. As we did, Pete told Penny. “You’re not alone, kido. Mia and I have your back.” Penny nodded with eyes full of gratitude as she curled into a ball on the bed.
I looked up at Pete. “Thank you.”
CJ was pacing in the living room when I came out. “Can we talk?” When I nodded, he led me to the balcony. “Why are you sticking up for her? She tricked me into marrying her. That’s why you came here, isn’t it? You suspected the truth. That’s why my mom sent me here. She wanted me to find out the truth for myself.
The guys told me you were a mess when I called to check on you this morning. They told me how drunk you got, even about the shower incident. I know you’re hurting as much as me. We can be together now. So I don’t get why you’re mad at me instead of her.”
I leaned against the rail, letting the cool night air blew gently in my face. It was helping to clear away the alcohol fog that lingered in my brain. “I’m not mad at you.”
CJ took my arm, turning me towards him. “Who are you lying to, me, or yourself. Your eyes are flashing daggers at me.”
“Dammit Chase, Penny didn’t trick you into marrying her yesterday; you chose to do that all on your own. If you’d waited until I got home, we could have found a way to fix this together. Instead, you married her, then spent last night and half of today in bed with HER!
Even then, while you were in bed with her, you had your spies watching me like you own me. You’re right; I came here because something your mother said made me suspect Penny wasn’t telling the truth. I figured I could come down here to see what I could dig up. I expected to find some guy had jolted her, not this. I thought I was going to have time to get to the truth.
I promised I’d be back Monday. Instead of waiting for me, you married Penny and went right into her bed. If you care for me as much as you claim to, how could you do that? I admit there’s a lot I don’t understand about sex, but I thought what happened between us meant something.
Maybe it’s different for guys. I know for me, after what we shared, you're all I ever wanted. Even before we bonded, I knew you were the only guy for me. Except the first chance you got, you were in someone else’s bed.” As I ranted, tears started falling. I swipe them away angrily. I didn’t want CJ to see me cry.
CJ hung his head. “You are all I want, Mia. I just, I could tell how close you and Peter had become. I figured before this weekend was over, Pete would press his advantage by being here for you, comforting you until one thing led to another. Especially after I forced myself on you. I, well, I couldn’t handle the thought. I went crazy. I thought since I was going to lose you anyway, why prolong the agony.”
Even though I sensed his pain, I cried out, “You know what, CJ, that’s a load of crap. Why would I want to be with Peter after what we shared? I’ve told you over and over; Peter is my friend. I told him friendship was all I could ever give him. He was okay with that. When Dan told him I was your mate, he felt terrible. Peter explained your history. He said he would never have gotten involved with me if he’d known.
Personally, I’ve concluded this mate thing is horseshit, at least for you. You would never have rushed into being with Penny if you felt one-tenth for me what I feel for you. It’s just your bullshit way of controlling me because you knew how much I loved you. I won’t be controlled, CJ. Not even by you.
Besides, thinking something might happen is a lousy excuse to get married and have sex with someone else. Regardless, you have a wife and a baby, that is probably yours, on the way. Penny is a victim of incest on top of everything else. She needs help. What are you going to do, CJ, abandon her so we can go ride off into the sunset? Because if that’s your plan, you can count me out.”
Without warning, CJ pulled me into his arms, kissing me. As much as I hated myself for it, I melted into his kiss, opening my mouth as we explored each other. I felt the same overwhelming desire burn through me like a wildfire. I felt like my soul, and my wolf was reaching ou
t to his.
My wolf didn’t care about all the emotions or drama or CJ’s betrayal. All that mattered to her was being in her mate’s arms. But I cared. CJ had broken my heart to a billion pieces. I could have forgiven him for anything but this betrayal.
When he finally pulled away, he looked into my eyes. “I know you felt what I felt. It’s not a load of crap Mia. What we feel for each other is real.”
Angrier at myself for responding to CJ’s kiss then him, I said, “You don’t feel what I feel for you, CJ, or you would never have ended up in Penny’s bed. Remember, you asked me once never to leave. I told you it would have to be you who left me. Well, you did. You chose Penny over me. You’re a married man now, so don’t you ever kiss me again.” I yanked myself out of his embrace, storming back inside.
I looked around at the faces of my friends. Their expressions held an array of emotions from guilt to concern. I noticed Pete was missing. “Where’s Pete?”
Sara spoke up. “I don’t think he was enjoying the show as much as the rest of us. He took off.”
I stormed off after him. I found Peter sitting on the stairs. I sat down next to him, taking his hand. “Hey, it’s been another rough night, hasn’t it.”
He gave me a weak smile. “At least you’ll get your happy ending now.”
“No, Pete, I won’t. Mate or not, CJ made his choice. It’s over.”
“You’re just angry with CJ right now. Once we get home, he’ll get the marriage annulled and fix this.”
I shook my head sadly. “No, Pete, this is something CJ can’t fix. As much as I love him, I can’t forgive him for choosing Penny after we…” My voice cracked as the lump in my throat grew.
“I’m sorry, CJ hurt you like this, Mia. You know what the worst part is, your miserable, and all I want to do is kiss you. Some friend I’m turning out to be.”
“Then kiss me, Peter. I may never be able to give you all of me, but if you want what I have left to give you, I’m yours.”
“Mia, I wouldn’t take advantage of you last night. I sure as hell won’t do it now.”
“I’m not drunk, Pete. I want to kiss you. Even with all this craziness, I’m drawn to you. I always have been. The only time I feel even close to whole now is with you. I need to know if anyone else can make me feel what CJ does.” Reaching up, I pulled Pete’s head to mine then kissed him.