by Deanna Hall
When he started to pull back, I held on tighter. As I started to slip my tongue past his lips, his arms encircled me, pulling me closer. As the kiss deepened, I felt the same burning desire spread through me. I’d always felt when I kissed CJ. My wolf felt the same deep need to possess him as it did with CJ. I crawled into his lap, pressing myself against him.
When we both had to come up for air, he said, “What the hell, Mia. Why does kissing you feel like that. It never felt like this with anyone else. It felt like I was on fire, and you were the flame igniting me. A flame I never want to put out. My wolf wants you as much as I do.”
I was straddled across his lap, looking into his eyes. “I was right; this mate thing is a load of crap because I suspected kissing you would feel just as powerful as kissing CJ, and it did. It must be the same with anyone you’re attracted to.”
Peter frowned. “Are you saying kissing me feels the same as kissing CJ? Because you got to trust me when I tell you that kiss made it feel like you’re burned yourself into my very soul. Thanks for that, by the way, now I want you to be mine more than I did before.
Seriously though, it felt like your wolf called to my wolf, and he responded. That shouldn’t happen unless their mates. Wolves only have one mate for life, so this isn’t possible.”
“You’re the second guy I ever kissed sober. I think I need to kiss a few more toads before I can figure out who my prince is.” I said, half-joking before I leaned in and kissed Peter again. We were as close as two people could be fully dressed.
It was a good thing we were in a stairwell, or things would have got out of hand fast. Eventually, a guy came walking up the stairs and told us to get a room. At which point, I figured we better go back inside before someone came looking for us.
Another Mate
Mia
When we entered the apartment, I scanned the room. Dan said, “CJ is in checking on Penny. I don’t know what you said to him, but he said he owed it to her. I’m sorry things got so out of hand. We should have listened to you. The kid probably is CJ’s, and it’s gonna be a lot harder for him to live with Penny knowing her past.” Charlie added his agreement.
I nodded. “Apology accepted.” Then I asked, “Claire, this is going to be a strange request; however, I need to find out something. To do it I need a basis of comparison. So far CJ and Peter are the only boys I’ve ever kissed.”
“Hey what am I chopped liver?” Charlie protested.
“Sorry, Charlie, I mean when I was sober enough to remember what it felt like. So anyway, Claire, would you get really pissed if I kissed your boyfriend? I don’t like, like him or anything. I mean he’s a great guy, a good friend and hot and all. It’s just an experiment.”
Pete started laughing his ass off. “This should be good.”
Claire, who was Dan’s bonded mate, laughed and said, “Go for it.” So I leaned up to kiss Dan. I felt absolutely nothing, not even a tingle. Claire called out, “Come on, you two put some feeling into it.”
Dan leaned down and really kissed me. Still nothing. “Sorry, Mia, you’re a great kisser, but Claire is the only one for me.” He told me, pulling Claire against him.
Charlie stepped forward, pulling me into his arms. “I want to be part of this experiment too.” Then he was kissing me, tongue and all. Of course, that’s when CJ walked in. In a tired voice, he asked, “Anyone want to explain?” I could feel his confusion.
Pete answered, “Mia’s conducting an experiment.”
Charlie was a darn good kisser. I enjoyed it immensely. I was even a little breathless when he set me back on my feet, yet there was no fire. I smiled up at him. “No wonder all the girls like you.”
Charlie grinned. “I’m good at other things, too, you know, in case you want to take this experiment further.”
Sara added, “It’s a damn good thing too because he’s so full of himself he’s insufferable.” We all laughed.
Despite it being about three in the morning, I needed more proof that what I felt with CJ and Pete, whatever it was, was real. “I’ll be right back.” I went into the hallway, banging on Steve’s door.
Naturally, the others had all followed me. Steve had been asleep. He was groggy, standing in the doorway in his boxers, running his hand through his sleep tousled hair. Squinting, it took him a second for his mind to register me at the door. “Mia? What’s up, Babe?”
“Babe?” CJ growled. I could feel his jealousy flare-up.
“He calls all the girls that,” I replied, not wanting to start another argument. Reaching up, I kissed Steve. His eyes widened before his arms encircled me. He leaned into the kiss. After a couple of minutes, I pulled back. Steve had a huge smile on his face. “Did you want to come in or something?”
“No, I’m good. Sweet dreams Steve.” I left him in the doorway, looking baffled.
Once we were back in Penny’s apartment, CJ demanded, “Have you completely lost your mind? What the hell are you doing?”
“You were the only boy I ever kissed before, remember. I wanted to know if kissing other guys felt the same as it did when I kissed you.” I answered, honestly.
“It didn’t, did it? You’re my mate, Mia. You can kiss a million guys, and it will never feel like it does when you kiss me.”
Pete grinned, “Your pretty cocky cuz. You didn’t even let her answer.” He started towards me. I knew what Pete was planning. I so didn’t want to go there right now. I gave him the evil eye. “Don’t do it.” I mouthed.
Pete backed up, holding his hands up in a submissive gesture. “How does it feel when you kiss Penny, CJ?” I asked, trying and failing to hide the bitterness in my voice.
CJ looked away. “Nothing like kissing you.”
“Good enough to make you want to have sex with her, though, right. We slept together every night for almost two months. All those nights, you could resist me but not her? Not even for one lousy weekend?” I asked.
“It’s not like that, Mia. You know how hard it was for me to resist you. You know why I wanted to wait. With you, it was bonding, with Penny, it was just sex like I’d had with her hundreds of times before.”
Like that was something I wanted to hear about. “Score, Penny, hundreds of times; me, one life-changing time. Lucky me. I wish you’d resisted a little longer before giving into your desire.” I mumbled under my breath.
CJ sighed. “We can all hear you, Mia.”
“Sorry.”
“What now, Mia.” Part of me wanted to say leave Penny and be with me. Part wanted him to do the right thing by his child. The rest was feeling angry, betrayed, and hurt all the way to my very core. I wasn’t sure I could ever get over it.
“It’s over, CJ, we may be bonded, but you’re a married man.”
“I’ll get an annulment, Mia. The pack will allow it now. We can put all this behind us and get married. If the baby is mine, I’ll get custody. We’ll raise it together. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to make this up to you. I love you so much I can barely stand it.”
Claire shocked us all when she commented, “So much, you married Penny and broke Mia’s heart, right?” To my surprise, everyone else was agreeing.
Dan added, “Man, I could never even get it up for another girl now that I have Claire. Even one as hot as Mia. Kissing her did nothing for me.”
Claire smiled at him. “I love you too, Babe.”
Suddenly, I was exhausted. “Were you thinking about how much you loved me when you made love to Penny last night or this morning? Obviously, “getting it up” for her wasn’t a problem for my supposed mate, was it? God, CJ, how could you do this to me? I told you I’d wait for you for as long as it took. I would have waited forever. That’s how much I love you. Why didn’t you love me enough to wait one weekend?”
CJ looked ashamed. I felt guilt consume him. “Mia, I didn’t make love to Penny. We had sex. I barely got off.”
“Got off? What does that even mean? Never mind. Just answer the question.”
“When you got in that van with Pete, I went crazy. I could feel the connection between you two through our bond. I was sure he would take advantage of it. I just lost it.”
“He couldn’t take advantage unless I let him, which I would never have. You should have had faith in me, CJ. Never mind. Honestly, I can’t answer you right now, CJ. I’m confused and very angry. I trusted you not to hurt me, yet that’s all you seem capable of doing since Penny came back into your life.
I admit some of it wasn’t your fault; however, the bonding to me, then marrying Penny were choices you made. I don’t know if it’s because you love Penny more than you’re willing to admit or what, regardless of the reason, no matter how much I love you, I’m not sure I can ever forgive you for this. I just want to go home.”
Dan piped in, “I’m wide awake, let’s go. The big city is highly overrated.”
“Where’s home, Mia. Back at Peter’s or the ranch?” CJ asked.
Peter answered before I could. “You can’t expect her to go to your place and watch you play house with Penny. That’s cold man. She’s coming home with me.”
“Like hell she is. If she goes anywhere, it’s with me. She is my mate, not yours.” CJ growled.
I got between them as they glared at each other. Pete took a step forward. I thought for sure I was going to be breaking up another fight. Instead, he pulled me to him and kissed me.
I tried to protest, at least until the fire burned through me, driving out all coherent thought from my mind as soon as his lips touched mine. I melted against him, eagerly returning his kiss. When he finally let go, everyone was staring.
CJ looked worse than if Peter had hit him. I, on the other hand, was majorly pissed. “You had to make things worse, didn’t you, Peter. This isn’t some juvenile game or competition between the two of you. This is my life and Penny’s and the babies’. You know what, to hell with you both.” I said as I stormed out of the apartment.
I heard Dan say, “That’s impossible; she can’t be your mate and respond to him like that.”
When I got to the street, I started walking at a brisk pace, heedless of where I was headed. After an hour or so, I realized I was walking the streets of the city, dressed like a hooker as CJ had sweetly pointed out. I had no ID, money, or anything with me. I didn’t even know where I was. I could have found my way back to the apartment through the bond; only there was no way I was going back there yet.
Since I could see the mountains in the distance, I decided I’d just keep going until I reached them. I knew I could survive there. I pulled Penny’s high heels off, throwing them in the bushes. I walked barefoot down the sidewalk for a long time. Eventually, Charlie’s van pulled up. Peter called out of the window, “Want a lift?”
“No! Go away, Peter.”
“Mia, I’m sorry. Please get in. We don’t have to go back there. I’ll take you wherever you want. Just forgive me. I promise I won’t ever do anything like that again. Please.”
Pete sounded so desperate I gave in. Besides, the temperature had dropped, and even with my elevated body temperature, I was freezing. The mountains were too far away to be able to change anytime soon. “Fine, but I don’t want to go back there. Not yet.”
Pete leaned over and opened the door. “Come here, your freezing.” He held out his arm. I reluctantly snuggled against him as soon as I got close, warmth spread through me. Infuriatingly, it wasn’t just body heat. “Where to Sunshine?”
“Someplace we can get some sleep.”
Peter called Dan. He informed him he’d found me and we were stopping to catch some Zzz’s. We’d be back in the morning. He drove to a small hotel just outside of the city that looked halfway decent. Peter rented us a room. It was a cute, little, one-room log cabin with only one large bed in it. “I’ll take the couch.” Peter volunteered. He grabbed a blanket and pillow from the closet, pulled off his shirt and boots, then laid down.
Meanwhile, I got under the blankets before slipping out of my outfit, leaving me in only my skimpy underwear. I was exhausted and fell right to sleep. The next thing I knew, I was pounding against Pete’s chest, crying. “Mia, Mia, wake up. It’s ok, wake up.”
“Peter? Where are we?” I asked, looking around confused. Then I remember we were at a hotel. “Never mind, I was disoriented for a sec. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s ok, Sunshine. CJ hits a lot harder.” Peter pushed my hair away from my face. As he pulled his hand back, his thumb brushed across my lips. “You’re so beautiful, Mia.” As he got up to go back to the couch, I grabbed his hand. “I don’t want to be alone. Stay with me.”
“Mia, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I not sure how much will power I have left.”
“Please. I feel so lost and alone.”
Peter’s face softened. “I’ll never leave you alone, Sunshine.” He assured me.
“Peter?” I whispered hesitantly as he held me in his arms, stroking my hair.
“Yeah, Sunshine.”
“I know this sounds crazy because I already love CJ, but I love you, too.”
When Peter looked into my eyes, I saw tears shimmering in his. “I’ve dreamed of you telling me that.”
Then he kissed me passionately. When we eventually separated breathless, he said, “God, Mia, how did CJ ever let you go? I’ve never felt like this. I could never have given you up, even for a baby. Pack be dammed, I would have found a way to take care of Penny and the baby, but I wouldn’t have let you go in the process.”
The strength of conviction in his words was so strong I didn’t know what to say. CJ was married to Penny now. That knowledge felt like a hot knife embedded in my heart. Why shouldn’t I find some happiness with Peter?
“Mia, tell me you love me again.” l felt the lost, little boy in his spirit. Losing his mom had, had a much deeper effect on him than anyone knew. I realized Pete had become the clown he was because he’d had to save his father from the despair of losing his mate. Peter needed me more than he’d ever let on.
“I do love you, Peter only CJ, is burned into my soul. I know I’ll never stop loving him.”
Peter kept the blanket between us as he laid us down with my head resting against his chest. He stroked my hair. “Mia, if CJ leaves Penny, will you go back to him?” I didn’t need to feel his emotions; the fear was plain in his voice.
“I don’t think I can. I can’t get past the fact that he couldn’t wait for one weekend for me. He didn’t love me enough, not be with Penny. If he had, we could have gotten through this. We would have found a way to be together and still be there for Penny.
She doesn’t really love CJ. She was just scared. For that matter, CJ could have gotten to the truth just like I did if he’d tried. He never even considered trying. He swallowed what she told him hook, line, and sinker. Then he let his jealously get the best of him. He didn’t believe in me or my love for him.”
“I’m sorry he hurt you, Mia.” I could feel his sincerity.
“Thanks, Pete,” I said before I drifted back to sleep
We woke up to Pete’s phone ringing. It was CJ. “Where the hell are you? It’s almost ten o’clock.”
“On our way back. We’re just gonna grab some grub.” Peter lied, then hung up and shut off his phone. When I started to get up, Peter grabbed my hand. “Mia, will you be my girl now?”
I looked in his eyes. “Pete, you know how I feel about CJ. We bonded. I don’t think these feelings will ever change. How can you even want to be with me knowing that?”
“Actually, I want you to marry me and be mine forever.”
I was stunned. “You want to marry me?”
“I’ll settle for whatever you want to give me, Mia, but yeah, I do.” Pete sounded so unsure of himself. Nothing like the wisecracking, smart assed clown I was used to.
“You want to marry me, knowing I can never give you my whole heart?”
“I’ve never wanted anything more. Mia, this closeness we share is enough for me.”
I thought about all the time I spent with Peter. No one, not even CJ, made me feel as comfortable and relaxed as Peter. His joy of living was contagious. I loved the way he made me laugh and feel good about myself. I knew I was crazy for even considering this. I was almost as surprised as Peter when I said, “If it’s what you want, I’ll marry you.”
I felt Peter’s joy at my words. His eyes sparkled with happiness. I knew I would never get tired of looking into them. Knowing it was me putting that happiness there, for all the world to see was an amazing feeling. With Pete, I would have a life filled with love and laughter. Enough to build a wall around the hole CJ had left behind. I realized it was still possible for me to find happiness.
I felt Peter’s joy as he leaned down and kissed me. Like every other time, his kiss consumed me. The sheet between us slipped down. I was pressed against his bare chest. Peter’s hands traveled up and down my spine, nearly driving me mad with desire. Mine did the same. Peter pulled away abruptly. “If we don’t stop, I won’t be able to.”
“Then don’t. I want it to be my choice this time, Peter.”
“I want you more than I have ever wanted anything in my entire life.” Pulling me into his arms again, Peter kissed me deeply. When he pulled back, he said, “You’re so fucking beautiful. This can’t be happening. I must be dreaming.” All my concerns flew out of the window when I saw the raw emotion in Peter’s eyes. They held a mix of desire, fear, uncertainty, and all-consuming devotion.
“You’re not dreaming, Peter. Make love to me. Make me yours for life.”
“Are you sure I’m the one you want, Mia?”
“I’m very sure this is what I want. I’m sorry if I caused this insecurity in you, Peter. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Though I don’t think it’s fair that I’m wearing this skimpy bit of lace while you’re still partly dressed.”