Found And Lost

by Deanna Hall

  “I’d like that.” I was thrilled that he wanted me to stay. Without giving it a second thought, I leaned over, hugging him.

  This stern, commanding man, who seemed brisk, severe, almost cold, smiled, hugging me back. “You have Etu’s smile, child. It warms these old bones to see it.” I could feel his joy. It matched my own.

  “Linda and Adam have requested you stay with them. If you prefer, you are welcome to come live with me.”

  “What do you prefer, Uncle?”

  My uncle smiled at me. “It pleases me that you would let me decide. You show respect. I think for now you would be happier among the young people. I think Dakota will be of great comfort to you in the days to come. I am glad you have been returned to us, Miakoda. You have already brought joy to my spirit. Joy, I have not felt in many years. Come spend time with me whenever you’d like.”

  “I will come often, then.”

  “That would please me greatly.”

  We ate lunch with my great uncle, staying for a little bit longer while he told me tales of Dakota’s and my father’s antics. Despite my protests, it was decided that there would be a welcome home celebration held by the tribe the next night.

  On the way home, we raced for a while, then Dakota said, “Follow me. I wish to show you something.” I followed him up a steep path along a ledge. I probably should have been scared of the sheer drop on one side, yet Cinnamon was confident as she navigated the narrow path; therefore, I wasn’t worried.

  We came around the bend to a high mountain meadow with the most beautiful view I’d ever seen. Well, I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen it’s equal. We dismounted, letting the horses graze. Dakota took my hand, leading me through the tall grass.

  “Pretty soon this meadow will be covered with wildflowers. I can’t wait to show it to you then.” Dakota said as he picked one of the early blossoms handing it to me. “It will be almost as beautiful as you.”

  As I stood there blushing, staring at my feet, Dakota pulled his tee-shirt off, laying it on the grass for me to sit on. “Care to sit?”

  When I looked up, I couldn’t help staring at his tanned, flat stomach and six-pack. Dakota had long, shiny black hair. Almost as long as mine which reached my waist. He had rugged, extremely handsome features, broad shoulders, and a muscular chest that tapered to a slender waist. Did I mention his six-pack?

  He also had a large tattoo covering his entire back. It was a black wolf running alone in the snowcapped mountains, under a full moon. It was spectacular. My hand almost twitched with the urge to run my fingers over it.

  “Your tattoo is beautiful but sad. The wolf looks lonely. I feel like I understand his loneliness. Is there a story behind it?”

  “Not really. At the time, my girlfriend of several years and I had broken up. I was thinking between the res and school, I had met many girls, yet never one who felt like she was meant for me. I felt like I would be a lone wolf forever.”

  “I’m sorry you were lonely, Kotah. Someone with a spirit like yours should have someone to give you the love and comfort you deserve.”

  “I don’t feel that way anymore, Miakoda. Not since I met you.”

  Swallowing hard, I sat down, looking away. My fingers fumbled with the charm on my bracelet. Dakota sat down next to me, taking my hand.

  “Miakoda, do you still want to run from me?”

  “Maybe, yes, no. Not at the moment. It comes and goes.” I answered, keeping my eyes on the view of the mountains in the distance.

  “Please look at me.” Dakota requested.

  I reluctantly looked into those intense, brown eyes that threatened to swallow me whole. Every time I did, I felt like Dakota could see into my very soul. He was very intense. That look scared me because I felt like I could easily lose myself in him.

  “What does Nuttah mean?”

  “My heart.”

  “Why do you call me that?”

  “Because you stole mine the minute you looked into my eyes.” I felt the sincerity in him. He meant every word he said. I took a deep, shuddering breath.

  Dakota didn’t say another word. He just leaned in to kiss me. We fell back onto the grass, and I finally got to run my fingers over his tattoo and all those muscles. I felt his hand slip under my shirt, caressing my back. Shivers ran down my spine. As the passion grew between us, I had a vision of my wolf and a wolf as black as night playing, rolling, and nuzzling in this meadow.

  When Dakota rolled onto his back, I ended up straddling his waist. I could feel how much he wanted me. As I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, the charm of the wolves on my bracelet caught my eye. I felt tears well up in my eyes, along with a great sense of loss.

  Dakota touched the little gold wolves. “Your spirit is in pain at this memory. Was it a gift from someone you loved?”

  “I, I don’t know. I think I loved him, except he’s gone. I lost him somehow.”

  Dakota wiped my tears away. “If you were my mine, nothing outside of death could take you from me.” He kissed me again, and my sadness disappeared, lost in an ocean of burning desire. I started to fumble with his belt.

  Dakota rolled me onto my back, looking into my eyes. “Miakoda, I want you more than anything I have ever wanted in my life, but I need you to be sure.”

  I was trying to control my breathing as I answered, “Sure of what?”

  “Are you sure I am what you want? I believe you might be my mate. If we do this, you could be bonded to me for life. Are you ready to take that chance? Do you want to be bonded to me because there is no turning back afterward?”

  I searched Dakota’s face. His handsome features were already becoming familiar. His lips drew me towards another kiss like a magnet. I closed my eyes, running my hand down his arm, relishing the feel of his muscles under my fingertips. I could feel his desire for me as he trembled at my touch.

  I was wildly attracted to him. My wolf felt a strong urge to mate with him. I opened my eyes, staring at him. “I want you so much, it hurts. My wolf wants you just as much. I was leaving this world, Dakota. It was a cruel, dark place I didn’t want to dwell in any longer. I had nothing left to live for. You called me back. I only came back for you.”

  Dakota leaned up, kissing me again. As soon as his lips touched mine, I went up in flames again. I felt it burn through to my soul, burning away the darkness that had been residing there. My arms went around him, letting those flames consume me. My wolf leaped for joy inside me.

  “Great Spirit, you’re beautiful.” Dakota slid one arm around me, pulling me close. The other hand, he buried in my hair as he pulled me in for another kiss. I was breathing hard. My heart was pounding in my chest, not with panic this time. I felt a white, searing flame of need and desire. I wasn’t sure if it was his or mine.

  “Miakoda, I am ready to commit my life to yours. Can you say the same?”

  “I, I, Dakota, I want to say yes. As much as I want this, I’m frightened. I’m not sure why. I don’t even know who I am. I don’t even know if I ever, you know, before.”

  Dakota laughed. “Then this is not the time. When we make love, I am sure we will be bonded as mates. It is something that cannot be undone. Until you can say with certainty you are ready, we cannot let this happen. When you are ready, we will marry and become mates for life.” He kissed me again before lifting me off him.

  “Dakota, you’ve only known me a few days, how can you want to marry me?”

  “My soul recognized you the minute I found you. Only together will we be whole. The bond of a mate is for all eternity; even when we die, our spirits will be joined in the great hunting grounds in the sky. Marriage is just a human formality for this life.” The look in his eyes drove me wild.

  I realized in that moment I didn’t care about my past or who I had been; I only cared about a future with this man by my side. “I was wrong, I do know. I want to be with you always. My spirit recognizes you too, Dakota. I love you. As crazy as that sounds. You are the only reason I returned to this l
ife.”

  I felt Dakota’s spirit overflowing with joy. “It is not crazy, Nuttah, it is our way. Just like a wolf has the ability to find his perfect lifemate, so do werewolves. I love you too. We will speak with your uncle at the celebration tomorrow. I want to marry you before I go back to school.”

  I frowned. “That soon. You don’t want to take some time to think about it?”

  “I’m very sure of what I want, Miakoda. Now that I’ve found you, I never want to let you go.” Dakota's tone held no doubt.

  I hugged him tightly, laughing. My spirit felt elated. “Even though we’re both probably insane, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Before you start school works for me. It’s not like I have any plans that I know of. I don’t even know if I’m in school.”

  “Miakoda, I am sorry you don’t remember your past.”

  “I’m not, not anymore. I don’t care who I was, only that I’m yours. I’m only here because your voice touched something deep inside my spirit. I was leaving this world. It was a lonely, empty place until you found me. I returned for you. Maybe your Great Spirit gave me to you?”

  Dakota wrapped his arms around me. “Then he blessed me beyond belief.”

  We laid in each other’s arms for a long time. “I could stay in your arms forever. Promise you’ll never leave me.” I whispered.

  “I promise Nuttah.” The sun was beginning it’s decent in the west. A chill breeze filled the air. After one more kiss, we made our way down the mountain then raced all the way home.

  Soulmates

  Miakoda

  When we got back, Dakota showed me how to cool down the horses. Once they were fed, we put them in the coral. Cinnamon nuzzled me as I rubbed her head. I hugged her, thanking her for allowing me to ride her and carrying me safely on my journey before I went into the house.

  Dakota watched my every move. Even without looking, I could feel his eyes on me. “What?” I asked with a grin.

  “Two wild things drawn to each other. Cin loves you already. She is yours, as am I.”

  “Is that a good thing?” I asked.

  Dakota scooped me into his arms, answering, “A very good thing. Now let’s go have dinner; I have worked up an enormous appetite.”

  When Dakota carried me into the house, we bumped into his father. “You two look happy. Anything we should know about?”

  Dakota didn’t even put me down when he answered. “I have found my mate. We wish to marry as soon as possible.” I was turning a bright red at that point.

  Dakota’s father surprised me when he said, “As I expected. Strong wolves do not hesitate to claim what is theirs. You make us proud, Son. Welcome to the family, Miakoda. We are pleased to have you join us.”

  I couldn’t believe it, just like that, I went from being a nameless, homeless person to having a wonderful family. “Thank you again. I owe you all so much.”

  “If you would come to dinner, I have found some information you will want to know about.”

  Dakota put me down, though he grabbed my hand. His mother hugged me. “Thank you for completing my son. I have never seen his spirit this happy. Now come and eat.”

  Linda had made an excellent stew. I ate two bowls. Adam told me he had found a report about me as a missing girl from Arizona. When he contacted the authorities, they told him I’d been granted emancipated teenage status shortly before my seventeenth birthday.

  The name on my birth certificate was Mia Hathaway. I was born on May 25, 1996. The social worker he’d spoken with promised to send copies of my official records as soon as possible. “That’s a good thing then, right? Nobody is missing me. I’m free to stay here and marry Dakota.” I asked.

  Dakota replied, “It’s perfect, Nuttah. We can leave your past behind us and make our future together.” Looking in Dakota’s eyes, I knew that was exactly what I wanted. I’d had a weird feeling after hearing my name. I felt the past was better left forgotten.

  After dinner, Dakota and I washed the dishes; then, he went out to feed their other horses. I sat on the porch watching him. I was absentmindedly playing with the little wolves on my bracelet when Linda joined me.

  “You’re very quiet. Are you always quiet or your wound acting up after your long ride?” Linda asked.

  “I’m fine. I think I’m used to being quiet. I appreciate all you did for me. Saving me, then opening your home to me, thank you seems rather inadequate.” I told her.

  “Thank you is more than enough, Miakoda, you are part of the family now. My son’s mate and our daughter. You may call us Mom and Dad if you wish.”

  I was elated. “Really?”

  “It would make us very happy if you did. Yet I sense something troubling you.” She pressed.

  “It’s my old name. It feels like something bad is associated with it. Like something bad happened to Mia. When I was dying, I was ready to let go; I wanted to let go because life was too painful to keep living. Then Dakota called me back. This new life, as Miakoda is perfect, I don’t think I want to be Mia ever again.”

  “Miakoda, you are the same person you were before. The spirit I see is warm and loving. However, you have suffered significant trauma to your body as well as your spirit. Technically you died for several minutes before Dakota was able to call your spirit back.

  Both have already begun to heal since you came here. I suspect because of my son. He was able to call you back from death because you share a powerful bond, indeed. Whatever is blocking your memory, well, when the time is right, you will remember.”

  I saw Dakota answer his phone. When he hung up, he told me, “One of the mares at a neighbor’s ranch is having trouble giving birth. I need to give them a hand. Will you be alright here?”

  “Of course, I’m sure Donnie will keep me entertained, won’t you.”

  Donnie was standing in the doorway. “No sweat. You stole my girl Dakota, but you’re not married yet, so I have time to try to steal her back.”

  “I’m still too old for you, Donnie,” I stated.

  “You’re only a year and a half older than me. Kotah’s five years older than you.” We all laughed.

  “Too late little brother, it turns out Miakoda is my mate.” Dakota kissed me goodbye before he rode off.

  I played games with the family for a few hours after Dakota left. Donnie and I fought playfully over his cheating, while Linda and Adam laughed and laughed. Despite missing Kotah, I had a great time. All too soon, it was time to go to bed. I refused to displace Donnie from his room again, insisting on sleeping on the couch. I lay awake until very late. Dakota never came home.

  I finally fell asleep dreaming of my wolf. I was running through a dense fog, searching desperately for someone in the thick mist. I would get so close I could feel him while he remained just beyond my grasp. I woke up with a start. At least I hadn’t woken anyone else by screaming for a change.

  When morning came, Dakota still hadn’t returned home. After breakfast, Linda and Adam went to work. I found out Donovan knew where Dakota was working, so I asked if we could go and maybe help him. Donovan got the horses, and we raced down the road laughing. I let Cinnamon go at her own pace. Her exhilaration matched my own.

  When I spotted a mountain lion with two cubs in a field, I jumped off Cinnamon, handing Donnie the reins before walking towards them. “Miakoda don’t; she’ll rip you apart if you get near the cubs,” Donnie warned.

  “No, she won’t.” I sent my spirit out to her while whispering. “We mean no harm. May we meet your babies?” The lioness let me approach. She rubbed against my legs, almost knocking me over. “Come on, Donnie; she doesn’t mind.”

  He tied the skittish horses to a branch before joining me. We sat in the tall grass playing with the cubs. I made sure to give the mom lots of attention, as well. “You have a beautiful family. Guard them well.” I told her as we left.

  “Wow, Miakoda, how’d you do that?”

  I shrugged. “I have no idea. I just knew I could.”

  We arrived at
a small, run-down farm. We walked the horses down the dirt driveway to cool them off. After tying the horses up, Donnie led me to a coral behind the house.

  Dakota was kneeling by a horse who was lying on the ground. He looked exhausted, while the mare was panting hard and looked scared to death. Her eyes were more white than brown.

  I looked at Dakota, seeking permission to come closer. He nodded us forward. I knelt down, rubbing the mare’s neck. She was terrified. “Poor girl, are you scared? It’s ok, to be scared. I’ve been there. Just relax. Easy, Shhh. That’s it. Dakota is going to help if let him.” I pushed all the warmth and love I could at her.

  I envisioned my spirit holding hers, engulfing it with love. Her trembling started easing up. Dakota looked at me in surprise. “Keep talking to her; it’s working. She has twin foals that are breach. Every time I try to reach them, she goes crazy. This is the first time she’s been calm.”

  Nodding, I kept rubbing her neck and talking to her, willing her to be calm. Dakota was able to turn the foals, after which she was able to push them out. Once the foals were out, Dakota cleaned them up. The mare started licking them, finishing the job. I watched in awe as these newborn creatures struggled to stand. When the mare got up, the foals found their way to her teats.

  “She might have died if not for you, Nuttah. I’ve been at it for hours. I had almost given up hope. This family can’t afford a real vet, meaning they had to settle for me. Usually, I can calm animals. Since this was her first birthing, she was so frightened I couldn’t reach her. But you did. That’s what it means to be a spirit healer.” Dakota told me.

  I blushed. Looking at the ground, I kicked at a clump of dirt with my bare toes. “I just know what it’s like to be terrified. I don’t know why I just do. I think she could sense the common thread.”

  Donnie added, “You should have seen what she did on the way here. She talked a lioness into letting us play with her cubs. It was so cool.”

  Dakota looked at me, questioningly. “She let you near her cubs?”

  Donnie answered, “They climbed in our laps and everything. The lioness stayed next to Mia, not me, though.”