by Deanna Hall
“CJ, she’s alive. Mia. She’s standing right here in front of me. She has amnesia, but she’s alive.”
“What are you trying to pull, Peter? I told you I wouldn’t do anything stupid while you were gone. Just give it a rest, will you?”
“It’s the truth, CJ. Just talk to her.”
I handed Mia the phone. “Hello?” Mia took the phone from her ear. “You said his name is CJ, right?” I nodded. She put the phone back to her ear. “Hello, is this CJ?”
“Mia? My God, it’s you. Are you all right? Where are you?” Mia looked at the phone like it was a snake that had bitten her. She dropped it and ran. I heard CJ yelling into the phone, “Mia, Mia, are you there?”
Dakota picked up the phone, punching in a number before handing it to me. “Call me at that number. We’ll meet when Miakoda is ready to talk.” Then he went after Mia.
“Sorry, CJ, I think we spooked her. She took off. I think she recognized your voice because it really freaked her out.” CJ said he was on his way, then hung up.
Penny and I went to find my dad. As luck would have it, he was having a drink with Dakota’s father. “Ah, Peter, Penny, there you are. You remember my son, Peter, don’t you, Adam. This is another member of our pack, Penny.”
“Nice you see you again, Peter. You’re taller than you were last year. Your mate is expecting a child. Congratulation.”
“What? No way! I mean, Penny isn’t my mate, and it’s not my kid, though it’s nice to see you too. Actually, it’s my mate that I need to talk to my dad about. Dad, we found Mia.”
Dad looked at me like I’d lost my mind. “Son, Mia is dead. You have to accept it. Death is the only thing that could have severed her bond to you and CJ. You know that.”
“You’re wrong, Dad. She’s alive. In fact, she was with his son.” I tried to keep the anger from my voice. The look my dad gave me made it clear I’d failed.
“Are you talking about Mia Hathaway? Do you know of her?” Adam asked.
Dad looked shocked as he said, “Yes, she’s from our pack. She had a disagreement with her mates and ran off. We searched for her only to lose all trace of her, not terribly far from here actually. Ironically, Mia was bonded to both Peter and CJ. When they felt their connection to her vanish, we were sure Mia had died.”
“You said, mates? She was bonded to them both?” I thought it interesting Adam didn’t sound that surprised.
“It’s a complicated situation, but we believe she is a spirit healer. Do you know where she is.”
“We already knew she was a spirit healer. Miakoda has been practicing her skills among our people. She is quite remarkable. Our tribe has gained much from her presence. Miakoda lives with us. She has been since my sons found her almost dead in the woods. A hunter had shot her with an arrow, covered in Wolfsbane. She went over a waterfall breaking most of the bones in her body.
She even died for three or four minutes. Dakota was able to call her spirit back. She hasn’t had any memory of her past since. I only know who she is because I found the article online from in an old Arizona newspaper about her circumstances.
We were able to find out a little about her past from the Arizona authorities. We had no idea she was part of your pack, or I would have contacted you. We should go back to my place and talk with her.”
“Wait, Dad, we kind of spooked her. Dakota said to call him. He said we could talk to Mia when she’s ready. I don’t want to scare her and have her run away again. Besides, CJ is on his way. It will take a good eleven hours for him to get here. Maybe we should wait.” As much as I wanted to see her, I was scared to death we’d lose her again. For good this time.
“Alright, let’s meet at my house tomorrow, say, ten o’clock? I will talk with Miakoda. So that you know, she and my son are together. They also are mated and plan on being wed in two days.” Great, I had two days to try and get Mia to remember me or lose her forever. No pressure at all.
Past and Present Collide
Dakota
Ifound Miakoda behind our family’s teepee crying. I pulled her close, asking, “Are you alright? Your shaking like a leaf. You recognized Chase Jr’s voice, didn’t you?”
Miakoda nodded. “A vision of a blonde boy with warm blue eyes flashed in my mind. I felt like I knew the other boy, too, except I blocked the memory out before it took hold. They are the wolves my wolf searches for at night. I want them to go away, Kotah, thinking of them hurts.”
“I don’t think you can block them out forever,” I told her, petting her hair.
“Mia isn’t dead, is she. She’s waiting in my mind to destroy my happiness. I don’t want to lose you as I lost them. I don’t even know how I lost them, only now I remember it broke my heart to pieces. You put the piece back together.”
“You won’t lose me, Nuttah. I don’t know how or why they broke your heart, but I never will, I swear it.”
“Let’s go home. I want to be with you. I need to be with you. I need their ghost to go away.” Miakoda told me. Deep inside me, I knew now that she had been found, our lives would never be the same again. I knew both these boys were connected to Miakoda as strongly as I was. If her memory came back, would our bond be strong enough for me to keep her?
“Miakoda, I love you with every fiber of my being; however, you can’t run from your past forever. We tired, yet it caught up to you anyway. Obviously, the Great Spirit led them here to you for a reason. It seems the Great Spirit has plans for you; we have no control over.”
Miakoda stiffened in my arms. “Please take me home, Dakota.”
I called Dad to let him know we were leaving. Neither of us said a word on the ride home. Instead of snuggling against me, like Miakoda usually did, she curled up next to the door, arms wrapped around her knees just staring out the window.
All I saw in her spirit was pain and fear. Once we arrived home, Miakoda jumped out of the truck. Running to the trailer, she went inside and slammed the door before I even got out of the truck. When I knocked, she told me to go away.
I paced outside the door until my parents arrived a short while later. Dad knocked on the door. “Miakoda, we’d like a word with you.” She let us in. Dad told her, “Miakoda, your pack will be here to talk to us in the morning.”
“They aren’t my pack. You’re my pack, my tribe, and my family. Dakota’s my mate. Please don’t make me see them.” Miakoda pleaded desperately.
Mom put a protective arm around her. “Adam, her spirit is in such agony just thinking about them. I don’t think she should be forced to see them if she doesn’t want to.”
“Linda, it is their right to see that she is alive, unharmed, and hear her state her wish to remain with us, just as it is our right to know how they allowed such great harm to come to her. She’s the first spirit healer in generations. She should have been protected, not left on her own, to be nearly killed.
I want to know why a pack would allow such gross negligence. Miakoda, if you wish, you may speak just to the Alpha. Once he verifies you are well and answers for their neglect, no further contact will be required of you. It is council law that if a member leaves his or her pack for another, the Alpha must be given an explanation by the member. It is also a law that they account for your accident.”
“As you wish, Father. I will speak with the Alpha, only.” Miakoda's eyes searched my face. “Are you still planning on marrying me, Dakota, or are the ghost of my past taking you from me as well?” Her spirit held such stark anguish it overwhelmed me. I didn’t know how she could bear it.
“Why would you even ask me that? Nothing will stop me from marrying you unless it’s you.”
Miakoda threw herself in my arms, sobbing. “I thought you changed your mind.” After my parents left, I held her for the rest of the day and all through the night. She clung to me in desperation but said very little. It was a restless night for both of us. We slept a little, only dozing off from time to time. Miakoda’s nightmares came back for the first time in ages.
; The next morning an exhausted-looking Miakoda picked at her food, then spent most of the morning pacing. I supposed I wasn’t looking much more rested. Just before ten, we saw a pickup and a car heading down our driveway. Miakoda fled out the back door to the trailer. The alpha, beta, both their sons and the girl that was with Peter the day before, got out of their vehicles.
We went into our living room and sat down while my mother served coffee. After greetings were made, Chase Jr demanded, “Where’s Mia?”
My wolf started to rise. “She did not wish to join us,” I stated.
“How do I know you aren’t deliberately keeping her from me?” Chase continued as he stood up, glaring at me.
His father put a restraining hand on him. “CJ, you are being rude. They saved Mia’s life and provided for her since she’s been missing. Be grateful.”
“He’s done more than provide for her. Her scent is all over him. Where is she?” Chase accused, still glaring.
I remembered Chase Jr. and Peter from other council meetings and tribal gatherings. We were friends in a way, from playing together and growing up together, even if it was only one week each year. While they both looked like hell, Chase was a pale shadow of the guy I’d hung out with the year before.
His face was gaunt, with dark circles under his eyes. His spirit was a dark, swirling mess. He’d always been a friendly, good-natured guy. while his cousin had been a clown who kept everyone entertained. I’d always liked them both. I knew how I’d feel if I’d been the one to lose Miakoda. I suddenly felt very sorry for them both.
Except Miakoda was my mate now. “Miakoda ran to our trailer the minute she saw your truck pull in the driveway.”
“Your trailer?” Chase Jr. asked, glaring daggers at me. I couldn’t help glaring back.
“Yeah, our trailer, the one I share with my mate. Care to tell me why a little flash of memory of you both caused her so much pain it was almost unbearable. Or why I found her at the bottom of a waterfall broken and bleeding out in the first place?”
Chase Jr. looked at the floor. “Because I broke her heart.”
The girl, Penny spoke up, “CJ didn’t want to; it was my fault. CJ and I used to date. I was a self-centered bitch until I met Mia. I left CJ for the big city then found out I was pregnant. I told CJ the baby was his.
Honestly, I don’t even know for sure who’s it is. Back then, I didn’t care who I hurt. Pack law required CJ to marry me. Since CJ has always done the right thing, he did. Even though Mia was his bonded mate, he married me.”
Peter added, “I made things worse. We were in Denver. Mia suspected Penny might be lying about the baby, so she planned a fact-finding trip. We found out Penny had been supporting herself as a hooker. Sorry, Penny.”
“It’s ok, Pete, we need the truth to come out if we want to fix this mess. Mia forgave me; I don’t care what anyone else thinks of me.” Penny told him.
Peter continued, “Anyway, long story short, Mia and I figured out we had a mate connection too. She agreed to marry me even though she had already bonded to CJ. We, ah, found out even though she’d bonded to CJ, she was able to bond to me as well.
CJ and I got in a violent fight over her. When Mia couldn’t stop us, she ran. We’d almost found her. Then, then…” Peter paused, swallowing hard. “Then our connection to her abruptly disappeared. We found that waterfall and all the blood, her blood. After that, we couldn’t find a trace of her. We thought she’d died. We’ve been living in hell ever since. I don’t know what happened to break our connection to Mia, but CJ needs to see her for himself.”
My mother was the one to explain. “I know what happened. Miakoda died. Though it was only for a few minutes, her heart stopped beating. Her spirit left her body and started to move on. It had almost faded away completely.
The spiritual connection between you all must have broken when that happened. Not forever, because as her bonded mates, it would have sot you out in the next world. Nonetheless, in this world, the link between you was severed.
Before Miakoda’s spirit had wholly left this world, my son begged her not to leave him. She chose to stay. When she came back, all memories of her past trauma’s, even the ones of you boys, were gone.
We all know a spirit healer needs her mate to keep her spirit healthy and strong. Given her past, Miakoda’s spirit is more damaged than most. Even so, the things I’ve seen that girl do since she has been working with me are amazing. She has soothed the sick and the scared. She even restored the spirit of a man who lost his mate. I can’t imagine what she could do if her spirit were whole.
Dakota and I are both spirit walkers. Dakota’s love has healed most of her spirit, but her past haunts her. She is blocking her memories because they are too painful. She only wants to be Miakoda Whitecloud.”
Chase Sr. spoke then. “There is much more to Mia’s story than the conflict with my son and nephew. That girl has been through hell and back. At age twelve, Mia witnessed the death of her parents at Jackson’s hands. I was there and convinced Jackson to spare her. I only left her at that point because Mia assured me her parents had made arrangements for her in case of their demise. I thought she would come to stay with family here only to learn she’d disappeared.
With her parents gone, Mia lived on the streets in Texas with some other street kids until one of them was killed as well. After that, Mia lived alone in the wilderness for four years. The only reason she ended up with us is because she’d promised me she’d come to us before her first change. A promise she kept despite her fear Jackson would find her.”
I could hardly believe my ears. Just thinking of my Miakoda living alone all though years enraged me. No wonder Miakoda didn’t want to remember her past
Mom voiced my thoughts. “It’s no wonder Miakoda’s mind is protecting itself. But when the memories do return, I think she will need you all. I suggest you boys stop posturing and figure out what is best for Miakoda.”
Chase Sr. continued, “Your right. I believe Mia needs all of us. She was happy with us, maybe for the first time since her parent's death. Mia agreed to stay and let us give her a home. She fell for CJ right off. Things were going great until Penny came back and ruined everything. No offense, Penny, but you were a raging, selfish bitch back then.”
“None taken, Papa Chase. It’s the truth.”
How was it my precious Miakoda had lived through so much heartbreak and was still the loving, giving, happy person she was? Then again, she wasn’t as happy as she appeared, or she wouldn’t have those nightmares.
Now I was hanging my head. I was the one being selfish. I wanted to keep Miakoda to myself at all costs. “Her wolf searched for them in her dreams every night. When I tried to talk to her about them, she told me she never wanted to remember. Was I supposed to force her to remember?” I asked defensively.
“Of course not, Kotah. You were both happy. From the sounds of things, Miakoda may have been happier than she’s ever been. You had no reason to push her to remember things that caused her pain. Except things have changed now. We know she is connected to these boys as well. I believe, despite being happy here with us, Miakoda will never really be complete without them in her life as well.”
Peter looked at me, barely containing his anger. “I saw the way you reacted when I told her CJ was her mate. You already knew she had a mate, didn’t you?”
I answered him back just as defiantly, my own anger flaring. “Yes. I knew she bore the mark of one mate. It almost tore us apart when I realized it. Then I thought he must be dead, or he would never have abandoned her to die alone. I thought the return of her spirit to her body gave her a second chance at having a mate or Miakoda would not have responded to me as she did. Therefore I chose to ignore it.”
Peter looked away. “I’m sorry, man. I’m being a jealous ass again. That’s how we lost her in the first place. CJ and I failed Mia because we couldn’t control our jealously. We should have let her chose and accepted her decision. Instead, we almost killed each oth
er. Only her taking off with a trucker stopped us from doing so. I’m grateful you found her in time to save her.”
Damn, it was hard to hate someone like Peter. I hug my head. Suddenly I felt like a child instead of a grown man. “Just tell me what do, Mom.”
“Go talk to her, Kotah. You’re the only one who can get her to face her other family.”
I knocked on the door, letting Miakoda know it was me. She was pacing back and forth in the small space between the Bedroom and Livingroom. “Is it time to talk to the Alpha?” She asked nervously without looking up.
I sat down on the couch. Taking Miakoda’s hand, I pulled her into my lap. “Nuttah, you need to talk to Chase Jr. His spirit is very broken. He is barely holding it together. Peter’s is not much better off. You were bonded to both of them. They thought you were dead all this time. They thought they had lost you forever. I know if I lost you, I would have no reason to live.”
“If I lost you, neither would I, Dakota.”
“Mia, they just need to know you are well and happy. Once they know it is your choice to stay here with me, they will go, if that is your wish.”
“I’m not Mia! I’m Miakoda. I’m yours, not theirs. I owe them nothing. Please don’t make me do this, Dakota, please.” Miakoda was shaking violently. She started crying.
“Nuttah, what are you so afraid of?”
“I’m afraid if Mia comes back, everything will change.”
“Nuttah, you are Mia. You might not have her memories, but you still have her spirit. I will always love you. Nothing could ever change that.”
“Your wrong, Kotah, it will change everything.” Despite her fear, Miakoda got up, grabbing my hand. “Let’s get this over with.” She held on tight as we went into the house.
As soon as we entered the room, CJ bolted to his feet. “Mia, it’s really you. I didn’t believe it, even after I heard your voice.”