Found And Lost

by Deanna Hall

  “You are very brave,” I told her, feeling rage at Jackson surge through me. I wanted to kill him more at that moment than I ever had.

  Miakoda stood before me, letting her torn dress fall to the floor. “Do what you must.”

  I looked at her, sucking in a breath. “I, I, Great Spirit, I cannot do this.” As if on cue, the door opened, and my father walked in. “My son is a strong warrior with a soft heart. He has never lain with a woman. I think perhaps if you want that Sioux filth you called husband safe, you will have to help him overcome his guilt.”

  Miakoda reached for her tattered dress. Holding it in front of her, she glared at father, her outrage plain to see. “Bodaway was always your choice for me, wasn’t he. You knew he would come to my rescue, didn’t you? You forced your own son into a loveless marriage. Now you’re making his first, a girl he neither wants nor cares for. What kind of a monster are you?”

  “Come, come, Miakoda. What man could resist your charms? He is lucky to be given such a gift. He always knew his mate was to be my choice. Do you deny I have chosen well for you, my Son?”

  Before I could answer, Miakoda screamed, “Get out. We will consummate this sham of a marriage before the night is over. Just stop threatening Dakota.”

  “As you wish, Granddaughter. I will leave my son in your capable hands.” My father was laughing as he turned to leave. Miakoda threw the book at his head, barely missing as he closed the door. We could still hear his laughter coming from the other room through the thin walls.

  “A virgin, really? Now I feel like I’m raping you. Can this get any worse? I’m sorry, Bodaway. Your first time should be with someone you love.”

  The overwhelming guilt I felt prevented me from admitting I had loved her since the first time our eyes met. How could I tell her that, though she was being taken from the man she loved, I was getting exactly what I wanted? What I’d never dreamed possible.

  Without another word, Miakoda leaned in, pressing her lips to mine. I had never even kissed a girl. Being his heir, Jackson had forbidden me from getting involved with anyone until he was ready to pick my mate. He was not a man you defied.

  As soon as Miakoda’s lips touched mine, fire spread through me, igniting every nerve ending in my body. My arms encircled her as she pressed against me. When her tongue played at my lips, I almost lost control. Fisting my hand in her hair, nearly crushing her against me, I parted my lips, letting her explore my mouth. I felt her wolf in my mind as mine responded to hers. It was a long, intense, breath-stealing kiss.

  When we broke apart, Mia was trembling. “No, no, no, no. This can’t be. I have a mate. It’s not supposed to feel like this.” Tears started falling from her eyes.

  I stood up, taking her shoulders. “What’s wrong.”

  “My wolf, my spirit, they recognize you. I’m bonded to Dakota in every way. This isn’t possible. Is he dead already? Wouldn’t I know if our bond was broken or he was dead? Great Spirit, Bodaway, did Jackson already have him killed?” As her panic started to rise, she started sobbing great wracking sobs. I pulled her into my arms, rubbing her back.

  “I would have been told if Dakota had been killed, Miakoda. Besides, Jackson gave his word if you cooperated, Dakota Windsong would not be harmed, correct?”

  “Yes.” She answered between sobs.

  “Jackson is many things; nevertheless, he keeps his word. Your mate is safe, I swear it. There are legends of spirit healers who had more than one mate. Perhaps that is what is happening. Please don’t cry.”

  Miakoda turned to me, tears still falling. “Dakota told me that once, too. Are you sure he’s safe?”

  “I am sure. I would stake my life on it. Try to sense him; I am sure you will be able to.”

  Miakoda closed her eyes and consecrated. “Your right; I can feel him with me. I hope someday he can forgive me for this.”

  “Forgive you for what, saving his life?”

  “For bonding with you, too. It doesn’t matter, I suppose. I’ll probably never see him again anyway.” Miakoda leaned against me, laying her head on my shoulder.

  I stroked her soft, silky hair. “I know I can never replace what has been taken from you; however, I will always take care of you. I swear no one will hurt you as long as I breathe.”

  “I’m sorry I panicked. We might as well get this over with.” Miakoda pushed me back on the bed. After removing her bra and panties, she straddled my lap. She leaned down, pressing tightly against me as she kissed me again. The flames that burst through me were just as intense as they had been before. My mind was lost in a fog.

  All I wanted was the flame burning in my blood to consume us. Miakoda ran her fingers through my long hair. I didn’t even know where it was okay to touch her, so I buried my hands in her hair, holding her mouth tight to mine. I devoured her mouth like a starving child. She slowly brought her fingers to my waist, tracing the lines of my muscles lightly.

  I trembled under her fingertips as the sensation went straight to my growing cock. Leaning back, Miakoda looked at me intently. I could barely breathe. I swallowed hard, trying to control my breathing and the pounding in my chest. “I’m scared, Bodaway. With Nashoba, it would have been rape. I would have hated him as much after as I did before. I wouldn’t have been betraying Dakota.

  This is different. My spirit recognizes yours. Under different circumstances, if I hadn’t known Dakota... As much as I hate being forced into this, I don’t hate you. I know we will bond. This will be the ultimate betrayal because I am knowingly giving myself to another mate.”

  “Miakoda, you are doing this to save his life and protect your friend. You are giving up you’re freedom and happiness to save him. I am sure Dakota will understand that when the time comes. If he does not, he is unworthy of you.”

  “I hope he sees it that way. If not, you may be stuck with me.”

  I could only hope. “I am sorry this is being forced on you, but I am not sorry you will be mine for however long the Great Spirit allows it.” Instead of becoming alarmed by my honesty, Miakoda undid my pants, sliding them down. I kicked them off. Positioning herself over my substantial length, she slowly slid down on me.

  My hands gripped the sheets of the bed as the feel of her surrounding me drove all my guilt away, along with every other coherent thought in my mind.

  “It’s okay to touch me, Bodaway.” I ignored the bitterness in her voice.

  Taking my hands, Miakoda placed them on her waist. Her skin felt like silk under my callous fingertips. I slid my hands up her back and down her sides. When I was not even halfway inside her, I was pressed to her core. I was afraid I was going to hurt her.

  Apparently, she did not have the same concern because she pushed harder. I could feel her womb give, forming around me as she finally reached my end. The feeling was indescribable as she pressed against me harder, squeezing my cock with strong muscles.

  I felt the fire sear through us both as our wolves and spirits slammed into each other forcefully. It was like we were irrevocably burned into each other’s souls forever. Miakoda stiffened then screamed as the flame tore through us.

  Miakoda leaned back, grasped my legs for support, then began to move up and down. It was the most incredible sensation I’d ever felt. Instinct took over. I lifted my hips, thrusting inside her. My fear of hurting her disappeared as she moaned in pleasure, meeting my every thrust eagerly.

  Miakoda clenched her muscles every time I was deep inside her, making it hard to pull out. It was pure ecstasy. Every nerve in my body felt charged with energy. Every now and then, Miakoda would cry out, stiffening, clenching down on me and gripping my knees tightly, digging her nails in my flesh.

  After a while, I could feel the pressure building in me. I was powerless to stop it. Miakoda was trembling as she suddenly slammed down hard on me, clenching with all her might, holding me trapped.

  As my K9’s grew, I felt an overpowering need to mark her. Pulling her to me, I bit down on her breast. At that exact moment, I
exploded as deep inside her as could get. I bellowed her name. I could feel our spirits and our wolves’ moving in and through each other, as tremor after tremor of indescribable ecstasy surged through us.

  I rolled Miakoda over without disengaging from her. Getting on my knees, I pulled her hips up before starting to pump frantically inside her again, getting harder as I did. She lifted one leg over my shoulder while wrapping the other around my waist, meeting my every thrust.

  My mind was a blur of sensation that built into a frenzy. I was violently pounding against Miakoda. I knew I was already imprinted on her, mated to her, yet I couldn’t let go of my need for her yet. It was like the fire we were sharing was burning every demon I ever harbored from my soul, replacing them with need for this girl.

  This time, before we climaxed, Miakoda slid her leg down, wrapping it around my waist as she pulled herself up into my arms. She continued to slam up and down with our bodies pressed tightly together. The feel of her silky skin and breasts moving against me almost drove me mad.

  Just before we climaxed again, I kissed her deeply. I thought if I died right then my life would be complete. If her mate showed up and took her from me tomorrow, at least I’d had this time with her. As much as I hated Jackson, I was thankful for this gift.

  Again, we were consumed by wave after wave of pure ecstasy. As the fire burned to a low amber, I rolled over with Miakoda in my arms. I was still buried deep inside her, unwilling to let her go. She rested her head on my chest. She began tracing my muscles with her fingertips again.

  “Great Spirit, Awensa, that was amazing.” Then I felt hot tears streaming down her cheeks, pooling on my chest. “Miakoda, don’t cry. I’m sorry, I…”

  “It’s just, even though I knew I wasn’t, I hoped and prayed I was wrong, that it would just be meaningless sex. Dakota could forgive that. Only we just bonded, I felt it. You’re imprinted on my soul. I am bonded to Dakota. Is our bond broken now? How could I do this to him?”

  I absently ran my thumb over the bite mark I had left on her breast. I noticed an almost identical scar next to it as well as a barely visible one on her other breast. Now Miakoda would have three. I wondered about the first. She trembled under my touch. “I am sorry. I was not thinking about how this would make you feel.”

  Miakoda leaned on her elbows so that her breasts just barely grazed against my chest. She pushed me back against the bed. Her tears continued falling as she clenched my shaft with all her might. She drove all thoughts except the exquisite feel of her from my mind.

  As before, I could feel our wolves playing, merging, and mating. I began moving inside her again. This time Miakoda screamed out her pleasure over and over. I increased my momentum as I felt the weight of my own climax growing again. We exploded together again, drowning in the same pleasure we’d experienced before.

  I wondered if it would always be like this. If so, I might never leave this bed. The sensation finally subsided, and Miakoda collapsed against me, breathing heavily. “What does Awensa mean?” She asked.

  “My home,” I answered.

  “Why did you call me that?”

  “Because I knew the second I looked in your eyes at the Powwow, you were my home; I had finally found where I belonged. Even if it’s not where you want it to be, I will try to make this a home for you as well, Miakoda.” I told her honestly.

  “I prefer Mia. Thank you for not being like Jackson, Bodaway.” She whispered as she drifted off to sleep. I held her tightly against me. I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. Though I deeply regretted ruining Miakoda’s life, I did not regret that she was now in mine.

  I lay beside her long into the night, just watching her sleep. Mia started crying out, thrashing in her sleep. I shook her gently. I’d always had to endure my nightmares alone. I was glad I could end her’s. “Miakoda, I mean Mia, wake up. You are having a bad dream.”

  She opened her eyes but wasn’t really awake. She hit me, struggling against me when I pulled her into my arms. “It is ok, Awensa, I have got you. I am sorry we caused you to have nightmares.”

  Slowly her eyes focused as she woke. “My bad dreams didn’t come from you, Bodaway, I’ve had them ever since Jackson killed my parents. Dakota kept them at bay. Only he’s gone now. Just hold me.” She was trembling as she snuggled tight against me.

  “I guess we can comfort each other during our bad dreams; I get them too.”

  Mia pressed her hand to my face. “We are quite a pair, aren’t we. Jackson destroyed both of our lives. I can think of another way to get rid of bad dreams.” She leaned up, reaching her arm around my neck as she needed my cock with her other hand. I was beginning to think bad dreams were no longer such a bad thing. I laid her down and made love to her again.

  We were startled awake by a bang on the door. “Breakfast is ready. I left a trunk of your mother's clothes at the door.” Jackson informed us. I cracked open the door enough to drag the trunk into my room. After we got dressed, I placed a ring on Mia’s hand. It was a simple gold band with garnets embedded in it. “It was my mother’s.”

  Mia looked at it with unshed tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s beautiful. I lost Dakota’s wedding gift when Nashoba, you know.” I realized I could now feel what she felt in all things, not just sex. Right now, I could feel her anguish over the loss of her necklace. I had slipped it in the draw when we came back to the house. I didn’t get it for her. I had other plans for it.

  Mia had put on a spaghetti strap, sundress with a fitted bodice and full skirt. I couldn’t help but stare. She was so beautiful, and at least for now, she was mine. She smoothed her long hair out then braided it while I tied mine with a leather thong.

  As we walked out the door, Mia grabbed my hand. I looked down at her. She looked small and fragile despite her inner strength. “Are you alright?” She gave me a weak smile that made my heart beat faster. All I could think was this girl should hate me, except that wasn’t I saw in her eyes or felt in her kiss. I was grateful beyond words she didn’t.

  “As long as you’re here with me, I’ll be fine. Just don’t let go of my hand.”

  “As you wish, Awensa. By the way, my friends call me Bodie. I think you qualify.”

  “Well, Bodie, let’s eat, I’m starved.”

  Father sat at the table, looking smug as ever. “Well, well, it looks like you are genuinely mated now. That wasn’t so terrible, was it, Granddaughter? I knew my son could not let a prize such as you be taken by someone else. Not when his wolf had recognized his mate at the Powwow.

  It took him a little longer than I expected to step up. I was surprised he allowed Nashoba to lay a hand on you, never mind tear your dress. His will is stronger than I suspected. It takes a great deal of self-discipline to allow another to manhandle your mate. I am sorry for the humiliation you suffered. It was necessary to get my softhearted warrior to act.”

  “You knew? You knew since the Powwow how I felt? What I’d realized? Yet you allowed that travesty to take place anyway? You did all that to goad me into doing what you wanted all along?” I yelled in rage. I was about to lunge for my father when Mia squeezed my hand.

  “Bodie, let it go. Let him have his victory. It will be his last.”

  Makala rushed over, hugging Mia. “Are you all right? Did he hurt you?”

  Mia let go of my hand, hugging her back. “Bodie won’t hurt us. He’ll make sure no one else hurts us either.” She led Makala to the table before sitting down. After a brief prayer, Mia began to eat.

  Father observed her carefully. “You are wise as well as brave, Granddaughter. You hate me for your past, yet it has made you strong.”

  “My parents made me strong, not you. You got what you wanted, Grandfather, now what?”

  “You and Bodaway will take over the pack someday when I am no longer capable of leading it.”

  “In that case, you should have let someone take over a long time ago because a monster like you is incapable of being a good leader.”

  I ten
sed, expecting Jackson to lash out at Mia. Instead, he chuckled and continued, “Until then, Bodie will continue to be my enforcer. You will get to know the tribe, heal the members, and your children will breed new life into the Ute Nation.”

  Mia looked at him, calmly, “You are aware I will kill you someday, right.”

  My father laughed. “I expect you will try.”

  “I suspect I will succeed.” She replied confidently.

  For a moment, I thought I saw a flash of fear in my father’s eyes before he roared with laughter. “You are truly my blood, Granddaughter.”

  That afternoon my father gathered the whole tribe together to formally greet Miakoda at the meeting grounds. Mia walked among the people, clasped hands, talked, and played tag with the children. Her warmth drew everyone to her.

  My father joined us. “You see, Granddaughter, they need you. You have power over everyone who meets you. Even I am loath to displease you. From your screams last night, I think the gift of my son has pleased you more than you care to admit.”

  I expected Mia to give some snide comment. Instead, she said. “Your right, if I am to be ripped away from my husband and those I love, at least Bodaway is pleasing to me. He is the one gift you could give me that I will always treasure. Don’t bother with any others, you have nothing I want.”

  Gone Without A Trace

  Dakota

  Iwas racing up the driveway as fast as my old truck would go. CJ, Peter, and Chase were right behind me. I saw Charlie pacing in front of the cabin, hands clenched in fists.

  When I got his call, I thought maybe the girls had just gone for a run, and he was overreacting until he mentioned the broken cup and open front door. Then I knew something was wrong. I could sense Mia’s spirit though it seemed muted somehow. I was confident we would find her, them. I jumped out of the truck as Charlie crossed the yard to meet me.

  Grasping my shoulders, a crazed look in his eyes, he cried out, “They’re gone, Kotah. There’s no trace. No one forced their way in. I was in the back pasture with the horses. When I came back, they were just gone. How could they just disappear without a trace?”