What a fucking fantasy that was.
He and Penny hadn’t said more than a handful of words on the drive over, but their hands had remained tightly interlocked, as if they could save each other from his broken soul his parents had left behind.
Bones was giving Sarah the wedding of a lifetime, and Scott couldn’t even promise Penny a fucking dresser.
“Scott!” Josie hollered, jarring him from his thoughts.
He shook his head and tried to focus on his petite youngest sister, gorgeous in an above-the-knee pale-pink dress with a sweetheart neckline and a gauzy skirt, her strawberry-blonde hair falling in natural waves to her shoulders. Josie looked nothing like him and Sarah. She was pixieish, with an upturned nose, high cheekbones, a beauty mark just below the left corner of her mouth, and keen brown eyes, which were currently laden with worry. “Sorry, Josie.”
“I called your name three times. What’s going on with you? First you paced like a caged animal for ten minutes, and now you’re off in la-la land.”
“Are you okay?” Sarah asked, pushing to her feet from the chair in front of the makeup mirror.
Sarah was taller and curvier than Josie, with almond-shaped eyes and a straight nose. She was breathtaking in her wedding gown. The intricate lace bodice hugged her figure, and the skirt flared out like a ball gown with lace trailing down the length of the sides. Her long sandy hair was pinned up in an elegant twist with tiny white flowers weaved into it. She shared the same brown eyes as he and Josie, but even in the darkest of times, Sarah’s had always been softer and kinder. The concern staring back at him brought a wave of guilt.
“Yeah, fine,” he lied, walking away from the window. “You two look gorgeous. Bones and Jed are going to lose their minds.”
Sarah and Josie exchanged worried glances.
“Okay, cut the crap,” Josie said, crossing her arms. “Tell us what’s wrong.”
This was Sarah’s special day, and he was determined not to burden them with his issues. He slipped a hand into his pocket as casually as he could and said, “It’s just an emotional day. It’s not every day your sister gets married.”
Josie shook her head. “I’m not buying it. You were so frigging happy when I got married, you were all smiles and tears.”
Scott feigned a smile. He’d done a fairly good job of hiding how overwhelmed he’d been that day, though Penny had seen right through his strong facade.
“Uh-oh.” Sarah stepped closer and said, “Something’s definitely wrong.”
Scott gritted his teeth.
“Did you and Penny have a fight?” Josie asked.
“Oh no. Did you?” Sarah said empathetically.
He paced. “Can we not do this on your wedding day?”
“We’re doing it.” Josie fell into step beside him. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing my butt,” Josie snapped. “You never let me or Sarah do this to you. You make us spill our guts. So spill it.”
Sarah stepped in front of him, blocking his path. “Now I’m going to worry all day if you don’t tell us. Maybe we can help.”
“Nobody can help,” he said flatly.
“Have a little faith in us,” Josie said.
“We had faith in you for all those years when we lived with Mom and Dad and you protected us,” Sarah said sweetly.
“I never protected you well enough.” The truth tasted rancid.
He’d never forget the pain of being forced to leave them behind. He’d been planning their escape for years and had saved every cent he’d earned working at the marina throughout high school. One of the older guys he worked with had hooked him up with a fake ID and opened a bank account where Scott had stashed his savings. But a few weeks before the date he’d hoped to leave with the girls, he’d come home from work and his father had given him hell for something. He couldn’t even remember now what it was. Scott had been fighting back forever, but he’d recently hit a growth spurt and stood eye-to-eye with his father. When his father got in his face and pushed him against the wall, Scott went after him with everything he had. He’d been blinded by rage, punching and shouting, and his father had given it right back to him. Fists and blood were flying. Josie had been only thirteen and Sarah sixteen, both of them screaming and crying. Josie was huddled in a corner, Sarah stood in front of her, protecting her as their mother shouted at them to shut up. Sweet, delicate Sarah had jumped on their father’s back, trying to pull him off Scott, and their mother had gone after her, slapping her on her face and back and clawing at her, and Scott had lost it. He slugged his father so hard he’d cracked open his knuckles, and then he’d shoved his mother away from the girls, hollering for Sarah to get Josie downstairs. Thank God she’d listened so they didn’t have to witness the worst of it. He’d gotten his father in a choke hold, and then he’d thrown him across the room, intending to get the girls and leave. But his father had threatened to have him arrested for assault and kidnapping. At seventeen, with no reported history of abuse, it would have been his word against his father’s, and the charges probably would have stuck. Scott couldn’t take the risk of being hauled into jail and the girls going right back to those monsters. He’d given Sarah the bank card, told her to guard it with her life, and that he’d get another job and put more money in the account. He left, intending to come back for them in a day or two, but his fucking father had reported him to the police after all, and they were looking for him. In desperation, he’d stolen two hundred bucks from a convenience store, bringing his savings to four hundred for the girls. His friend helped him hide out in another town until things calmed down, but by the time he went back, his sisters were gone without a trace.
“Yes you did, Scott,” Sarah insisted. “If you hadn’t been there for us for all those years, I might not be alive today.”
“What is this really about, Scott?” Josie asked. “What does that have to do with Penny? You guys were all over each other last night.”
“Nothing. Everything,” he admitted. “I’m fucked up, terrified that I’ve got that bastard in me.”
Josie shook her head. “That’s crazy. You’re amazing with the kids.”
“It’s not crazy,” Sarah said solemnly.
Scott’s stomach plummeted.
“I was terrified that I’d be like them, too,” Sarah admitted. “I kept waiting for the monster in me to come out. When I had Bradley and Lila, I stayed up at night, afraid if I slept, I’d wake up a different person. I think that’s normal after what we’ve been through. Josie, you never had to live on the streets, with an abuser, or on an oil rig with no one to show you any love. Thank God you had Brian, and he loved and cherished you from the moment you left home with him. You were so young, I think he washed away most of your fears. But our experiences were different and left brutal scars.”
“What about when you had Maggie Rose, Sarah? Did you worry then?” Scott asked.
“No. I already had two babies, and I wasn’t fearing for my life anymore. I had Bones, and I had you and Josie and the Whiskeys and all of our friends. I understand your fears, Scott. We lived every minute not knowing if it would be our last, and you endured it longer than any of us.” Sarah took his hand, looking at him with empathy, not pity, and said, “But do you remember when we got into the accident? You had a collapsed lung and two broken legs, and you fought to help us get out of the car. As soon as you saw Bullet reaching for us, you told him to get the babies and me, over and over. Even after he had us all out, I still heard you saying it.” Her eyes dampened. “And when you woke up after surgery, the nurses had to hold you down because you were out of your mind with worry over us. You wanted to get to us that badly, and you’d only known my kids a few weeks.”
Scott remembered the fear that had gripped him that night. He’d thought he’d lost them all after having only just found Sarah again.
“You’re more patient with our kids than Sarah and I are. You never even lose your temper with them,” Josie said.
/> “And not only that,” Sarah said. “You took me and Josie and our children into your home and treated our kids like your own. You bathed them, changed diapers, fed them, took them out places, put them to sleep. You helped teach them what it means to be a family and how to love like a family should. It’s been more than a decade since we got out of that house. If you were capable of what our parents did to us, we’d have seen signs of it by now. You’re not a monster, Scott. You’re just scared, and that’s okay.”
The door flew open, and Red Whiskey breezed in. “Who’s ready to get—” Her smile faded, and her eyes narrowed, making her look even more like her doppelgänger, Sharon Osbourne. “Oh boy. What’s going on in here? Please tell me it’s not cold feet, because my son is going to jump out of his skin if I don’t get you down that aisle soon.”
“Don’t worry, Red. My feet are hot to trot. Nothing could stop me from saying I do to my wonderful Bones,” Sarah said with a grin.
“Whew,” Red said.
“I’m just working on my shit, Red,” Scott admitted to the woman who had welcomed him and his sisters and all their children into her family with open arms.
“Ah,” Red said, as if she’d heard it a million times. “Your heart is kicking you in the ass, isn’t it?”
“Something like that,” Scott said.
Red’s expression softened. “That’s a good thing, honey. It’s the men who don’t realize they have shit to work on that we worry about.” She turned to the girls and said, “Dixie has made Bradley and Lila practice their walks down the aisle so many times, they’re going to do it in their sleep. Let’s go, ladies. We have a wedding to get to!”
“Yes!” Sarah exclaimed as they followed Red and Josie down the hall.
Scott took Sarah’s hand and said, “Remember how nervous you were when you went on your first date with Bones? And look at you now. I’m so happy for you. You and Josie deserve all the happiness in the world.”
“So do you, Scott,” Sarah said as they descended the steps and headed for the back door.
“Thanks. I’m sorry for raining on your parade.”
“Don’t be silly. Just don’t rain on your own parade.” She leaned closer to him as they crossed the marble floor and said, “Our parents are dead and gone. They can no longer hurt us. Don’t let their evilness overshadow your greatness. Penny loves you, Scott, and I know you love her. Let that love shine through, and the rest will come naturally.”
If only love were enough…
Penny wanted, and deserved, far more than just his love.
TODAY WAS SUPPOSED to be perfect. Penny had envisioned a morning full of love, laughter, holding hands, and swoon-worthy compliments about how devastatingly handsome Scott looked in his tuxedo, which would be met with the same enthusiastic flattery about how great she looked in her new dress, followed by lustful kisses and endless temptation, leaving them longing to be in each other’s arms at the end of the day. Instead she was stuck sitting between Finlay and Quincy, holding back a river of tears caused by heartfelt confessions and insurmountable confusion, followed by a few forced words on the drive to the wedding. If that wasn’t enough torture for one day, Finlay was snuggling too-cute-for-words Tallulah in her frilly pink dress and matching booties and ogling her burly husband, who was standing with Bear by the stone gazebo where Bones and Sarah would say their vows, and Quincy was smooching with Roni. In the row in front of them were several of Penny’s other friends. Truman and Gemma were loving up Kennedy and Lincoln, and Jed and Hail were playing a game on Jed’s phone and laughing up a storm. Bear’s wife, Crystal, was cuddling her adorable eight-month-old, and Dixie’s husband, Jace, was tickling the baby’s belly. Jace had been all over Dixie, trying to get her to agree to start their family.
Penny was literally surrounded by people in love.
Her gaze drifted to her single girlfriends, Tracey and Izzy, sitting farther down that row. Maybe I should have sat there.
That thought brought a rush of hot tears. She squeezed her eyes shut to keep them from falling. She didn’t want to be single.
“Hey, Pen.” Quincy nudged her arm.
She opened her eyes and closed her mouth tightly, willing the tears not to fall. But her sadness was too great. Her lower lip still trembled, and a lone, traitorous tear escaped down her cheek.
Quincy reached into the pocket of his suitcoat and handed her a wad of tissues. “I came prepared. Remember how much Roni bawled at Josie and Jed’s wedding?”
“Thank you.” She wiped her eyes, but thinking about Josie and Jed, another couple who’d fallen so hard for each other Jed had put a ring on Josie’s finger to make sure the world knew it, had her struggling to hold back more tears. Penny pressed the wad of tissues to her eyes.
“You okay?” Finlay asked.
The worry in Finlay’s voice only made her cry harder.
Quincy leaned closer. “Penny, what’s going on?”
“Nothing,” she choked out, wiping her eyes.
“You lie about as well as I would if I tried,” Quincy said. “Want to take a walk? Talk about it?”
That made her heart hurt even more. She didn’t want to lay her heart on the line with Quincy and bring him down. She wanted the impossible—to go back in time and change Scott’s response. To hear him say he loved her too much to let her go, and he wanted a family. Tears poured down her cheeks.
Roni peered around Quincy and said, “Oh gosh, Penny. What’s wrong?”
Penny shot to her feet. “I just need a minute. I’m going to the ladies’ room.”
“I’ll go with you,” Finlay said, reaching for Tallulah’s baby bag.
“Me too,” Roni said as she and Finlay stood.
Their friends in the next row turned around in their seats, and Gemma said, “Where are you guys going? The wedding is about to start.”
The music began, and all the guests turned around in their seats to see Bones’s parents, Red and Biggs, walking out of the mansion toward the aisle. Penny’s stomach plummeted. She was trapped.
As she and the other girls took their seats, Quincy whispered, “Want to talk?”
Penny shook her head.
“Here if you need me,” he whispered, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze.
If she told Quincy she needed to get out of there, he’d plow down the aisle and make it happen. So would Scott. But if he saw me this upset, he’d probably pick me up and carry me.
A lump lodged in her throat. At least now that the wedding was starting, she had a reasonable excuse for her tears. Everyone knew she cried at weddings.
“Tell me what’s going on,” Finlay whispered.
“Nothing.”
Finlay made a puckered-lips, squinty-eyed face that Penny knew her big sister believed to be a scowl. Penny had never had the heart to tell Finlay that she sucked at scowling and that face made her look like a blond fairy getting ready to accept a kiss she didn’t want.
Luckily, the procession started, and Finlay turned to watch her in-laws walk down the aisle, giving Penny a moment to try to compose herself. She breathed deeply, thinking about Scott. On the drive over, they’d agreed not to let their issues ruin Sarah’s wedding. When they’d arrived, Dixie had rushed over to take Scott up to Sarah. Before going with her, he’d pulled Penny into his arms, holding her tighter than ever before, and said, Promise me a dance. She’d promised, and as he’d walked away, she’d felt like she’d promised a last dance, and her heart had shattered all over again.
The lump in her throat expanded painfully, and she tried to focus on Red and Biggs as they made their way down the aisle. Red was gorgeous in a floor-length rose-colored gown with short lace sleeves that set off her fiery red hair, and Biggs couldn’t look more handsome in a black tuxedo and bow tie, which was partially covered by his long, graying beard. He’d suffered a stroke years ago and walked with a cane. Penny’s thoughts pedaled back to Scott’s recovery after the car accident, when he’d needed to use a cane. She couldn’t remember a sin
gle time when he’d complained about his injuries or the pain from them. Once she’d learned the extent of his childhood abuse, she’d had the heart-wrenching thought that the injuries from his accident were probably less painful than the abuse he’d suffered, as they weren’t caused by someone who should have loved him.
Penny caught movement out of the corner of her eye and realized she’d been staring off into space. She really needed to turn off her brain, because tears were streaming down her cheeks again. Swiping at them with the tissues, she focused on the procession. Dixie, Bradley, and Maggie Rose were just starting to walk down the aisle. Dixie, a tall, slender redhead, looked elegant in a short pale-pink dress with a crisscross bodice and a flowy knee-length skirt. Bradley was too cute for words in his tuxedo and bow tie, holding the handle of the white Cinderella wedding carriage with a lace canopy that Bear had built for him to pull Maggie Rose down the aisle. The carriage had large white wheels, pink roses decorating the sides, and fluffy pink and white tulle surrounded the white silk pillows that cushioned Maggie Rose. She was adorable in a white frilly dress with a floral headband.
In for a Penny Page 5