Survival (Sorrowfeld Academy Book 1)

by Bob Dattolo

More attention to me. “So? Or is that one of the things you don’t want to tell us?”

  I don’t want to lie to Angelica and the others. Oh, I will, but I don’t want to. I prefer to prevaricate, yet they know enough right now, right? “I hit him with a spell. That’s why he was in pain.”

  “Yeah, I don’t see it? What’d we miss? Nothing went off. We didn’t see anything.”

  Parece’s smile is tiny as she sighs, “True, Angelica. We didn’t see her cast a spell. No signs of it at all. Yet she just said that she did cast a spell. If that’s the case, then that means that not only did she cast one while in the middle of a fight that we all though she was losing, but she also did it in such a way that there were no signs it was being done.”

  Damn, roomie, you can’t just throw that crap out there and walk away like that. “Seriously, Parece?!?”

  “It’s obvious, Maddie. You said you cast a spell. Two of us here know you were telling the truth. What’d you hit him with?”

  Ugh, “A light spell. Concentrated. Right in front of his eyes.”

  “No, you didn’t. I could see his face when you jumped on him. He looked disoriented and bent over a little, but there was no light.” Gage looked to the others for support. “Right?”

  Angelica didn’t join Kynal’s nod as she disappeared into her head. “Umm…I could be wrong, but I swear I saw something when that happened. It was like I couldn’t see his eyes for not even a second, then he was yelling in pain and everything started happening quicker and then he was down and dead.” Her eyes cleared, “Is that what happened? Did you somehow cast light and stop us from seeing it?”

  My internal debate lasted all of five seconds before I caved, “Pretty much? The spell was tiny. A small, small ball of light. One for each eye. Each blocked by the shadow spell from our book.”

  Their faces turned to confusion, just not Parece’s. At least much. “Are you saying that not only can you cast light, but you can cast two balls of light at the same time? Something no one was able to do in class? And then cast two different spells at the same time to block the light?”

  “You suck, Parece.”

  “You let the cat out of the bag with your allies here. I’m just helping things along.”

  Angelica stood again. “This is…seriously? You did that? You cast spells like that?”

  Fuck. “Yeah. I did.”

  “I don’t…like what?”

  Parece held up her hand a little, “Well, you saw how hard everyone worked to cast two spells in class? Imagine doing multiple balls of difference size, different color, all moving around at different speeds?”

  “Umm…no? I can’t imagine that. There are people in my family that are heinously strong, and I’m not sure I ever saw them doing anything like that.” Her shock was palpable as she spun back to me, “Is she saying that you can…can you do that?!?”

  Instead of answering, I began pulling power, letting it light up my hair this time. Light balls began appearing around the room one at a time. They were all the same size and color to start, until they began shifting and growing, ending up with 10 drastically different colors and sizes. With a motion from my hand, they floated up and created a huge solar system that spun around the largest in the center. Then the entire system exploded outward, sending the various balls around the space. They all moved at a different speed, so it was pretty cool to watch.

  “Yeah, I can do that.”

  They stared in awe for a solid five minutes before the tiniest ball came to hover over my upturned hand. Over the next 30 seconds or so, each ball came in and combined with the initial ball, creating one the size of both put together and mixing the color. By the time I was done, I had a ball at least 20 inches across, swirling with a rainbow of colors. They didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves as I let it dissipate into tiny motes that floated away and disappeared.

  Just after 11, Parece’s voice came to me through the darkness of our room. It’s a low whisper, and I doubt someone would be able to hear it from even the bathroom, “How long do you think it’ll take them to realize you were holding back?”

  I’d been wondering the same thing, “Possibly tomorrow. No more than a week.”

  That got a soft laugh from her that makes her sound downright fun to talk to. Makes we wish we were on friendlier terms. “Sounds about right. What’ll you do when they confront you about it?”

  “Umm, not sure. It’ll probably depend on what’s happening with Alison.”

  “You think you can take her?”

  More honesty time? “Think? Yes. Know? No. You saw her. She’s crazy aggressive. I may have to stop hiding to fight her off. I guess we’ll see. Now, what’ll you do when Samantha comes to you for advice?”

  Silence for a bit, “I’m not sure, honestly. I promised myself I wouldn’t share what I saw from you. I don’t want to see her die, but she is a threat on some level. I guess play it by ear as well? I warned her about Alison. I have a feeling that if you take her down, then you’ll see some of our folks back off.”

  “I hope so.”

  Another bout of silence, “You figured out what your affinity is, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

  “Actually, no. No clue so far.”

  “What? Really?” She sniffed, searching for a lie in my response.

  “Really really. As far as I can tell, I’m not any of the affinities listed. Am I a new one? Or just broken? Or…I don’t know, a birth defect? I can’t even guess.”

  “Weird.”

  “I’ve had a weird life, so why should now be any different?”

  She didn’t respond at first, “You…you really don’t know why your parents did what they did to you?”

  “No clue. I remember it happening, but even with my fucked-up memories, it’s clear that I had no idea why it happened. The ceremony was done and I could feel my magic, then the guy that I can’t even picture that I have to assume was my father hit me, breaking part of my face as he took me down. I have no idea if my eyes were white at that point. That could have happened later? Or maybe that’s exactly why they did it. I can’t even guess, although I’m thinking it’s probably that more than something happening later to cause the white to occur.”

  Her voice dipped even more, “What was it like?”

  “The mortmagi?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Out of all of my fucked-up memories, that’s one set I wish the spell took away. It was…God, so bad. I was in so much pain from being hit and what they were doing with magic to me. Not even the stricken spell, just spells to hold me. Hurt me. Up until then, that was the most pain I’d ever felt. Then those things. Like I told Colin, I was hoping and praying that it was all a test of some sort. A tough love thing. Then I prayed someone would come save me. After all, that’s what happens, right? Someone steps in and saves you? Except that never happened. I can’t even tell you how terrifying it was to see that blade coming for my eyes. Nothing I did got me free. None of my begging worked. None of my crying. Screaming. Nothing. Then the first one bit in, and it made the rest of the pain I was in disappear. My own father rammed a knife into my eyeball. Then the spikes and screws hit, and he began hammering. When the magic kicked in and started the screws turning, pulling them in farther and farther? If you could convert terror and pain to electricity, I can’t even guess what all you could power from it. I couldn’t stop my eyes from moving even though the blade kept tearing it apart. It was beyond painful. You guys thought the broken bones earlier hurt? They did, but in comparison? Like a six on the pain chart at the hospital compared to a 10 of what they were doing to me. Then the second one was even worse. Then feeling the spell come in and tear apart my word?” I sniffled as tears I wasn’t expecting started up. “I remember thinking of things, and they’d disappear. My room. What it looked like. I could see the man and woman when it was happening, and the image of what my parents looked like faded and disappeared, taking with it even my ability to remember what the two people standing over me there at
the end looked like. I remember…” more sniffling, “I remember saying my name. I was screaming and begging. Please don’t do this. I said I’m…whatever my name was. Please don’t take that from me. I’m…Maddie, which wasn’t my name as far as I can tell. I asked why they were doing it. Then said my name again…then it disappeared. Torn to pieces by their spell while I was thinking it. That, right there, was even worse. I went from me, whoever that was, for nine years of my life. To no one. Tortured by my own parents. Hurt. Broken bones. Thrown into an alley by my hair after being hauled there in the trunk of a car. Left for dead. So I come here, and people want to start shit? I said it, but I don’t think people understand. I don’t care if I die. I don’t want to, and I’ll fight to not, but actual dying? I did it on the floor of that house at my parents’ hands. I did it for the four years I was a pet. I want to live and really live, but I’ll accept death like you can’t even believe. The horrors in my head at what I’ve had to go through in my life? I can’t even explain them. When I gave myself to him, I gave myself to him. I was his pet. I didn’t question him. I accepted what he did to me. What he wanted me to do. I took part in it to prove that I was his. So when he wanted me to suck his dick? I sucked it. If he wanted to piss down my throat? I’d beg him to do it. When he wanted me to fuck his friends and let them do whatever they wanted of me? I played my part. If they wanted me to beg them to beat me? I’d do it. If they wanted me to cry and beg them to stop and they’d go harder? I’d do it. All except the couple that was there at the end. I didn’t do it with them, but that didn’t matter to them. They’d always break me, every time, then they’d lose control and tear me apart. Every. Single. Fucking. Time. So, Alison being a psycho? Nothing I saw there with Mark scared me. Will it hurt if she does it to me? Sure as fuck yeah it will. It doesn’t scare me, though. I had way too many of those things happen to me in my life already. Death holds no surprises for me. Creates no fears.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry they did that to you. I don’t understand it, but I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks. I also know that even though you’re friendly here, you can’t do that when Samantha is there.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I get it.”

  “Thanks.”

  We didn’t talk for the longest time, which allowed my remembered fears to fade, and the briefly repressed emotion and urges to flow back up. I knew she wasn’t asleep when I started touching myself.

  I thoroughly enjoyed myself twice before I stopped. Her voice reached me through the dark. “I fucking knew it. You drained her too!”

  “She shouldn’ta hit me with those fucking balls.”

  Soft laughter from her that changes into silence, then the sounds of her enjoying herself, too. Far from feeling like a voyeur, it felt…not homey, since I have no recollection of that, but it feels…safe, maybe?

  Time for sleep. We have another day of school, and I expect to be awake in just about five hours. Here’s for some fast sleeping.

  Chapter 22

  There weren’t many people in the caf for breakfast on Wednesday as I settled into a seat with my food. I swear, yesterday passed in a flash. More comments than you can shake a stick at for the crap with the coach. Levi was worse than normal. Samantha was better than normal. More reserved. She watched more.

  She also seemed to pick up the healing that others glossed over. They recoiled at the horrific bruises, which actually looked worse yesterday than the day before by far, but most didn’t pick up on the healed bones.

  She did catch that, and I overheard her talking to Parece about it. Paige didn’t seem to buy it, but Riley did. She’s been oddly focused on me since I broke her spell, so I guess that’s not a shocker.

  No one really confronted me to start anything, even if there were more people talking about how wimpy and lucky I am. Far too many, honestly. I swear to God that I don’t understand this life. I’m not sure I ever want to.

  Maybe death would really be preferable. Step away from this craziness and go on to whatever lies beyond this.

  Except I don’t really know what lies beyond this, so let’s hold firm and keep going. Better safe than sorry, right? It’d suck to die and end up in a worse spot and have no way out.

  My eating slowed as a familiar face came in. She looks exhausted, but also worried. She didn’t seem to see me until she had some food. When she did, she looked across the other tables before coming over, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

  Her voice is so freaking low that it makes me mirror her, “Good morning, Kaylee. You can. You okay?”

  She nodded and sat, looking across the other tables again, “Yeah. I am. Just…”

  She smells bad, like she hasn’t slept at all. She twitched when I touched her, showing just how stressed she is. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

  Tears started as she blinked. Not that she seemed to realize it.

  “C’mon, Kaylee. What’s wrong?”

  Her voice somehow went even lower, “I don’t want to die.”

  Ookay? “What do you mean? Is someone threatening you?”

  Her tears trailed down her cheeks as she moved her eggs with her fork. She twitched again when I held her hand, “Please eat. You need it.” Seriously, she smells like a million pounds of stress. “Now, what the hell happened? Is someone threatening you?”

  That’s a lackluster attempt to chew food if I’ve ever seen one, but I’ll take it. “No. Not specifically. But I know it’s coming.”

  “Because this place sucks?”

  “Because this place is what it is. I had such high hopes that being connected with you would help.”

  That made me smile, although it’s small, “Well, it has, right? No one has paid any attention to you for days now.”

  Her eyes came up, “Wha…what?”

  “It’s simple. Being connected with me makes people watch me and not you. That’s worked. Everyone seems to be focused on me. At least for now.”

  “Uhh, yeah. But Alison’s coming, and…”

  Ahh, “She’s coming, and you think she’s gonna kill me, which means everyone will be back onto you and the others that they think are weak?”

  Numb nod. I swear we’ve talked about the benefits of her being connected to me, yet she doesn’t seem to think I got it. Maybe that was with someone else? “Yeah. That.”

  “Okay, then. What if I can help you somehow?”

  “Help me? How? It’s Wednesday. She’s coming on Friday.”

  “She is, but still.”

  “Help me how, though? No one can help me get stronger. Be more dominant.”

  Okay, point, at least partly. “I’m not sure I can help change your personality. You’re shy, but I’m not sure if most of that isn’t because you’re here and terrified of everyone?”

  She actually made it through several forkfuls of food before responding, “I wasn’t this bad before. Not outgoing and all of that, but not this…bad.”

  “Okay, it’s not too far off from how you normally are. So, your magic?”

  “No one can help me with that. I’m so weak compared to everyone else. You see me in magic class and what I can do. In comparison to everyone else?”

  Hmm, “I may not be able to help, but do you want me to try? It’s only 5:20, so we can go talk magic for a bit before everyone else gets going?”

  “How’re you gonna help me, though? You can’t even do magic on your own. That’s not a help.”

  “Well, to be clear? I can’t do magic as far as most people here know. I can do magic, though.”

  Her fork slowly lowered, “What?”

  “What I said. I can do it. We can talk and I can see if I can help you?”

  “I don’t understand? Why are you hiding it?”

  “It’s simple. People here hate me and want to kill me. I’d rather be underestimated. So I hide a ton from everyone.”

  She watched me continue eating and slowly mirrored me, finishing her plate soon enough. “Can you show me?
”

  We cleared our trays and headed out. “Do you know where we can go so that no one will hear us or see us?”

  She shrugged, “Maybe my room? My roommate stayed in another room last night.”

  Huh, “That works. I’m not sure I know who your roommate is?”

  “Naomi? Ice dragon?”

  “Umm, not placing her?”

  “She’s like six feet tall and has jet black hair?”

  Ohh, “Okay, I think I got her. She likes to paint her nails funky colors?”

  “Yeah, her.”

  “I didn’t know she’s your roommate. How do you like her? Do you get along?”

  “Get along? Hard to say. She hasn’t killed me yet, so…you know, that’s kinda how I’m judging things.”

  “Makes sense. You’re not allies with her?”

  “No. I asked. She said no. She didn’t want to risk the attention from the other powerful kids.”

  Oof, “That sucks. How is she power-wise?”

  “Other than being a dragon? I think she’s at like 70 percent compared to the others. Below Levi, Shane, Wes, and Ryan, that’s for sure. Weaker than Samantha, Parece, Paige, or Riley. She’s not too bad. Powerful enough to not mess with, but weak enough to not worry about. Unless you’re me.”

  Damn this place, “Do you think she’s just biding her time to challenge you?”

  “Honestly? I assume that about everyone here.”

  “Even me?”

  She gave me a look, “I’m not sure about that. I won’t say that I can beat you in a fight, but given what I’ve seen so far? I think so.”

  Let’s bypass that. “You haven’t found anyone else to connect with?”

  “Not really? Everyone else at my level? It’s like they’re trying to set everyone else up to drain them and gain more power. We end up trying to find someone more powerful to suck up to and just pray like crazy that they don’t turn on us. Or don’t turn on us too quickly.”

  “This just freaking sucks. All so that you don’t end up with mortmagi pounded into your skull?”

  She snorted, “You’ve had that happen. Tell me it’s not worth the risk?”