The Soul of the Unbroken

by Derrick Quick

  My luck was finally turning around. I just had to hang out here for a couple of weeks and then I could hopefully find Eliza.

  Chapter 14

  1944

  The two weeks that Oberfuhrer Bollenbach promised, extended much further than that. He had complications with his leg and his fake leg. I ended up at that hospital for months. Christmas has passed, the new year came and went. It was the most boring time in my life. every day I would stand outside of his door, fetch him nurses when he requested it, get him food when he requested it, and talk to him when he felt like it.

  I did learn many things about him though. He was just eighteen years old when he first served in the war back in nineteen-eighteen. He was shot but survived. After the war, he became a lawyer, until Hitler rose to power and then he was coaxed into joining the army again by a friend of his. He also told me he hates it, and wishes he could have stayed a lawyer and kept both of his legs. I even began to respect him. He didn’t have a deep-rooted evil and hatred as I expected. One night he said, “I don’t hate Jews, or much of anyone for that matter, not even the Americans. I have to pretend, so people don’t think I am a traitor.” It turns out, he and I were more alike than I originally thought.

  After all of those long months, it was finally time to escape the hospital, and get back out into the open air. I took all of Bollenbach’s bags and loaded them into the car that was waiting out front for us. Then I went back up to his room and asked if he was ready to go. “I have been ready to get out of this hell hole for five months!” He snapped back at me. He had slowly gotten more cranky the longer he was here. The fake leg was fit onto his nub and strapped up. Then he was given his cane and was pulled to his feet by a couple of the nurses.

  “Just yank my arms out of their sockets, you crazy women. I can’t wait to get away from you.” Once he got his balance and was steady on his feet, he pushed the nurses to the side and started walking out of the door. He had a slight limp, but other than that the fake leg was hardly noticeable.

  We took the stairs instead of the elevator on the way down because he insisted on getting some more exercise. “I have been sitting in that damn bed for so long, I thought my skin was going to start growing around it! I am going to walk as much as I can before sitting in that car for who knows how long.” We made it to the bottom of the stairs and exited the building. The fresh spring air was a delightful change from the smell of alcohol and infected wounds that radiated from within the hospital.

  Bollenbach took a deep inhale of the fresh air, and let it out slowly. “That is the nicest smell I have had pass through my nose in quite some time.” Then he slowly, and reluctantly made his way to the car and got in. I slid into the seat beside him and got ready for the long ride. “Where are we going again?” He asked the driver. You are to report at the Auschwitz camp in Poland sir. “Ah yes, that is right. How long will it take to get there?” He asked. The driver thought for a moment. “Well, it is going to take a few hours to get to Munich and then you will get on a train to get into Poland. Then you will transfer to another car and drive the rest of the way. It will only take about a day.” Bollenbach shook his head in anger at the thought of traveling for a full day. I didn’t think it would be so bad. At least there would be something to look at besides the white walls of the hospital.

  After a few hours of riding in the small car, I was as sick of it as the white walls of the hospital. Luckily we had arrived at the train station and were finally able to stretch our legs again. “I never thought a fake leg could feel any stiffer than it already was.” Bollenbach joked. We climbed out of the car, and I grabbed the bags. Then the train pulled up came screeching to a stop in front of us. “Right on time,” I said.

  The sight of the train reminded me of my rescue of Hans a couple of years before. It was crazy how much has changed since then. I never thought I would be wearing this uniform, or fighting in the German army. The train was completely empty, except for us, the conductor, and a few other stragglers. I suppose people didn’t have much opportunity for travel these days. We settled into our seats and the train lurched forward.

  I had never been to Poland before. I wondered what it would be like. The train chugged along. Outside of the window, the landscape blurred by. Tree after tree, town after town, kilometer after kilometer. Bollenbach and I mostly sat in silence. We had been together so much since being in the hospital, there wasn’t much left to say. Finally, he asked me a question, “Eloy, what do you think you would be doing if there wasn’t a war?” I had thought about that so many times since the war had started. Wondering how different my life would be if Hitler never started a war, and if he never decided to hate certain groups of people. “I think I would be working at my uncles’ business still, though maybe not, I never did like it there. I know I would be with Eliza. She is the love of my life. By now we would probably be married, possibly have a baby. I would be happier than I am now, that’s for sure.” Bollenbach nodded and didn’t say anything else.

  I drifted off to sleep. When I woke up, the train was pulling into the station. Bollenbach sleeping as well so I gently nudged his shoulder. “Sir, we are at the train station.” He was startled at first, and then regained full consciousness. “It’s about time.” He stood up and headed for the door before the train had even stopped.

  I got out of the seat, grabbed our luggage off the rack, and followed him to the door. Outside a car was waiting for us. We stepped off the train and were immediately directed to the car. Bollenbach was not too happy with that. “I need a minute to stretch my damn legs!” He left the driver and I standing there, as he went for a short walk.

  The driver looked at me and said, “He sure is cranky isn’t he.” I nodded my head and laughed a little. “Imagine being stuck with him every day for months.”

  Bollenbach got back from his walk and we all got into the car. “Auschwitz is just a few more kilometers from here sir,” The driver said to Bollenbach. We drove down a small road alongside a set of old railroad tracks. A few minutes later I saw it. Straight ahead there was a big long brick building, with an archway that railroad tracks lead through. On the other side of it were rows and rows of light red brick buildings, and long shack-like huts. Around it all was a tall fence made of barbed wire. As the car pulled closer to the gate I could see words along the archway of it. “Arbeit Macht Frei” it read. Work sets you free. It was doubtful that anyone had been set free. Guards pulled the gate open and we drove inside.

  As we got out of the car, the first thing I noticed was the smell. It hit me right in the face. It smelled like a mixture of feces and dead animals. I couldn’t believe people actually lived in a place that smelled so bad. It was also very quiet. There was no chatter, no conversation. It was very unsettling.

  Bollenbach headed for his new headquarters, and I followed. We walked into a building and went up a set of stairs into what was to be his room. It was big, and it had a desk in it too. There was even a plate of food sitting there ready for him. My room was right next to his. It was much smaller, and only had room for a bed and a small wardrobe for my uniform. Bollenbach was asked if he would like to relax. “I have been relaxing my whole trip here. I want to go see this camp that I am to be in charge of. So we left the building and started to walk through the grounds.

  As we started to walk through, I still hadn’t actually seen any of the prisoners. I did, however, see a large pile of shoes, clothes, and personal items just sitting just outside the entrance. It seemed very strange that they were just tossed in a pile like that.

  We continued to walk through the rows of shacks, and I finally saw a prisoner. He was wearing a grey and blue striped uniform that appeared to be much too big for him. It was so baggy his pants were barely clinging to his waist. He also had a red triangle on the uniform with a P on it. I didn’t know what that meant. His head was shaved to the skin and he was so extremely skinny. I could see every bone in his face. It was like looking at a skeleton with a thin layer of skin on it. I had b
egun to worry about the conditions the prisoners had to endure and wondered what Eliza looked like by now. The more we walked through the more prisoners I saw, all looking the same as the first one. They were all gaunt and sickly looking. Their clothes didn’t fit, and they wandered around slowly and aimlessly.

  We got to the far side of the camp and I noticed a big trench. A horrible stench was flowing from it, and I gagged. We walked closer to it and I saw why it smelled so terrible. Filling the trench was a mound of dead bodies. They were all extremely thin, pale, and they were all stripped of their uniforms. It was the worst thing I had ever seen. I had to look away. “What the hell is that?” Bollenbach asked angrily. The other guard said, “There are so many prisoners dying sir, this was the only place we could put them.” Bollenbach looked as disgusted as I felt. “Well fill it in with dirt, that is just awful.” The guard nodded and started yelling for prisoners. They immediately jumped at his command, ran over, and started scooping dirt into the hole with their hands.

  “Aren’t there any shovels?” I asked. The guard laughed at the question. “These dogs don’t need to use shovels. Their hands work just fine.” I was infuriated by his response, but Oberfuhrer Bollenbach pulled me away and we continued to walk through the camp.

  We walked into the women's section of the camp, and I noticed they all had their heads shaved as well. They were all looking at us like we were aliens, and they cowered when we went by. What had happened to these poor women. “Filthy whores” The guard muttered as we walked through. I hated him already. Bollenbach just walked through as though nothing fazed him. Sometimes he would mutter to himself, or nod his head. With him as the new head of the camp, I was curious to see if he would change anything for the better. He had confided in me that he didn’t hate people like normal Nazis did. But he was good at pretending.

  A bell was rung signaling it was time for them to get their meal. We walked into the kitchen area to see what was being served. It was a soup of some sort. I glanced into the bowls, and it looked like just hot water. With their soup, they were each given a tiny piece of bread. “They need more food than that,” I said. “Shut up. You are just a guard, not a general.” Bollenbach snapped at me with his eyebrow raised. The guard that was giving us our little tour, sneered.

  I Looked into the sea of sad faces sipping there small bowls of “soup” and it was so incredibly sad. They all looked like they were an inch from death. Not one looked even the slightest healthy.

  As I was scanning the crowd of female prisoners my heart skipped a beat. Sitting in a far corner with a small group of women was a girl that was twisting her shirt collar. It was the same thing Eliza used to do with her hair, and she would bite down on her cheek while she was lost in thought. This girl was doing the same thing. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Her eyes looked the same, her face looked similar. She was just so much skinnier it was hard to tell. She glanced up at me and I quickly looked away. Bollenbach was leaving so I followed.

  He headed back to his room, and I went to mine. I tried to get some sleep, but I was up the whole night wondering if that was Eliza. It looked like her. She did the same twisting thing that Eliza used to do with her hair. She even bit down on her cheek like Eliza, but it was so hard to tell. Maybe my brain was playing tricks on me.

  The sun started to rise, so I decided I was going to try and find Eliza. Halfway down the hallway, Bollenbach yelled for me. “Wolf. where are you going so early?” I couldn’t tell him the truth so I stammered, and said, “Uh I...I was going to do my rounds, Guarding the camp.”

  “Not right now you’re not. Come in here for a moment.” Begrudgingly, I walked into his room. “Sir?” He looked up from some papers he was reading. “Sit down, I have something I need to discuss with you.” I sat down in the wooden chair that was across from his desk. He went and closed the door to his room, and sat down at his desk. “Listen, what’s happening out there...it’s wrong to say the least. You know it and I know it. Everyone else wearing that uniform, they don’t think so. So you need to do a better job of acting. You can’t be asking to get the prisoners shovels, or anything else. I’m not asking you to be cruel, but if you don’t want to be sent back to the front lines, or be imprisoned as a traitor, then you need to act like you are on the same side as the other guards out there. Got it?” I understood what he was saying, but I still wasn’t sure I could do it. “I understand. I will do a better job. Is that all you needed?” He nodded and waved me away.

  Outside it was setting up to be a nice warm spring day. I walked through the rows of shacks, nodding at other guards on the way to the women's sector. The women were already mingling about, waiting to get their breakfast, which was sure to be more water and bread. Then the other guards started whistling. “Roll call!” They shouted. It was perfect If Eliza’s name was called then I would know she was in the crowd. The women lined up, and the guards started calling out...numbers. How was I going to know it was her if they went by numbers. Just when I got my hopes up they were shot down again. I couldn’t hear her voice in any of the prisoners, so I decided to make myself busy doing something.

  The next few weeks came and went with no Eliza. Mostly I just wandered the grounds making sure nobody escaped. A few times a day I would get something to eat from the soldiers’ headquarters. Then I would go to sleep, and repeat it the next day.

  It was around mid summer now, and the number of prisoners was dwindling. The Americans were getting closer and closer each day. The guards could feel it, Bollenbach was on edge every day. I knew the end of the war was near. I set out to find Eliza, because once the war was over she may go to another country and it would be very difficult to find her ever again.

  I scoured the grounds looking for her. Each shack was searched, the yard was searched. I even sat through roll call once again, but she was still nowhere to be found. It was made even more difficult by the fact that prisoners scurried away when they saw me. The uniform scared them off, so I didn’t even get a chance to ask them if they knew Eliza. I suppose it would have been easy enough to order them to stop and answer my questions, but they were ordered around enough and I didn’t want to add to their misery. I had all but given up. The girl I saw a few weeks ago getting her dinner must not have been Eliza.

  I leaned against one of the building’s walls and let the sadness envelop me. She must be gone. Disappeared with so many others, their fate decided by the evil rulers of this new world that has become of my once loved country. At least there was some hope of salvaging the country, now that the Americans were beginning to roll into town.

  As I was standing there, I heard someone singing. It sounded almost like Eliza. It was the sweet voice I had been missing for so long. No way was it actually her, singing of all things. It had to be a part of my imagination. Then I heard it again, coming from just around the corner. I decided to just take a peek to see if I was crazy or not. I tiptoed to the side of the building and peeked around the corner. She was standing there, twirling her shirt collar with her finger, singing away quietly. She was so beautiful, and I had missed her for so long. My excitement couldn’t be contained. I jumped around the corner and shouted, “Eliza!” The sudden shout caused her to jump. Then she looked over to me. At first, she seemed happy. Her eyes met mine, and everything was okay again. Then her eyes slowly drifted downward, as she examined my uniform. Tears started to stream down her face. “How could you..” She said, and then she turned and ran. “Eliza wait! It’s not what you think!” I ran after her, but she weaved her way through the buildings so fast. She must have had every inch of this place mapped out in her brain. Soon I was huffing, out of breath, and filled with sadness once again.

  I had to figure out a way to get her to know that I did this for her. She needed to know, I have been fighting for her since she disappeared. I decided I would find her again first thing in the morning.

  Back in my room, I wrote down everything I was going to tell her. She was going to learn about the bombing of the ammo factory
that Hans and I did. She was going to learn of the grenade barrage that I launched on an officers house. The attempted assassination, the pilot, all of it. I would tell her and she would forgive me for wearing this uniform. It was risky, putting everything on this paper. If it fell into the hands of someone else I would most likely be shot or tortured, for being a traitor to the government. Maybe the risk of it would help convince Eliza. I folded the paper up, put it into my pocket, and went to bed hoping morning would be here in an instant.

  My eyes opened right at dawn, ready to go find Eliza. I popped out of bed, changed my clothes, and left to go find her. Outside the sun was shining bright. It was going to be a good day. Today, I just went up to the first prisoner I saw and asked them if they knew Eliza. They were quick to tell exactly where she was at, probably out of fear I would hurt them if they didn’t.

  I ran to the shack she was supposed to be in. Walking inside, I wondered how they were ever able to sleep. The beds weren’t beds at all. Just platforms with no cushioning, or pillows. Multiple prisoners were crammed into each little space. It was a surprise they didn’t knock each other off.

  “Eliza!” I called out. She didn’t answer. “Eliza!” I yelled again. Still no response. I would have to just find her. The shack wasn’t very big so I found her pretty quick. She was sitting in the far corner, with her head down, trying not to look up at me. “Eliza, I was calling your name and you didn’t answer me.” Her eyes rose up to mine, and I saw anger filling them. “Are you going to pull me outside and shoot me now? I’m sure your friends would.” She snapped. She really thought I was just like the rest of them. “No! Of course, I wouldn’t do that! I’m not like them, Eliza. You know that.” I pleaded with her. She didn’t believe it. “Apparently I never knew you at all.” Then she gestured to the uniform. It was going to be harder to convince her than I thought.