Brother’s Best Friend

by Kaylee, Katy

  “It’s not like that, sir. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with Gavin, but I love her.”

  “Does she love you?”

  “She says she does.”

  He studied me. “I always liked you, Rafe, but you have to know, no one is good enough for my daughter.”

  “I understand.”

  “If I ever find out who knocked her up and then abandoned her, I’ll have some choice words for him.”

  “I don’t blame you.” I felt the same way. What sort of douche left a beautiful woman like Summer pregnant and alone?

  He sat back in his chair and studied me for a moment. “So, you planning on staying?”

  “Yes.”

  “What will you do to make a living? You weren’t in the military long enough to earn a pension.”

  “I inherited some money from my grandmother and her house, and I have some savings from renting it out. I’m still weighing my options about a job.”

  “In other words, you don’t know what you’re going to do?” He pursed his lips at me.

  “No, sir.”

  “So, how can you be sure you’ll stick around? Hope is a small town. Not a lot of jobs here.”

  “It’s not far from Richmond or Petersburg. I should be able to find something there.”

  “Well, for Summer’s sake, I hope you get your life together, boy. It hasn’t been easy for her getting through school and raising a child alone. She doesn’t need a man to take care of her, but it would be nice if the man she chose wouldn’t bring extra baggage.”

  His words hit me hard in the chest because I did bring baggage. Three times now she has had to watch and help me through episodes. Okay, so the last time wasn’t an episode, but still. I could see in her eyes that she was assessing, trying to decide what I needed to keep from going off the deep end.

  “But that’s for her to decide.”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  “Just know that if you hurt her—”

  “I understand.”

  * * *

  On the way back to my house, my brain was in a whirl. It wasn’t fair to ask Summer to take on my issues. But another part of me couldn’t let go of her. She knew about me and my issues and was still here. She told me she loved me. She gave me her body. If she was right, the counseling would help, and I wouldn’t be a burden or add to her stress. Plenty of men like me had successful lives and families, didn’t they? Gavin did. Had Lainey’s father given Gavin the third-degree about his issues? In some ways, he was worse. He’d been drinking non-stop. I was certain he’d been cheating on her, although he never came out and said it and I didn’t ask. And yet, he was now happily married with a baby on the way and successful business. Why couldn’t I have that?

  Determined to prove myself, I arrived home and began to make plans to turn it into my place. I’d move into the master bedroom, and move my grandmother’s items into the third bedroom. She’d still have a place in the home, but now the house would be a place where I could build a life.

  I’d give Emma my old room and let her decorate it any way she wanted. I stopped mid-thought. Should they move in with me? Initially, I just wanted a place for them for when they came to visit, but if they had a place here, why not just stay? It would save Summer on rent and give her extra help with Emma. I wasn’t sure Summer and I were ready to live together, yet, but if things continued as they were, we’d be there eventually, so I should have the house ready. I called a place to get information on fencing the backyard.

  Finally, I had to figure out what I could do for a job. I suppose law enforcement was an option, although it didn’t hold much appeal for me. I wasn’t sure it wouldn’t cause more stress. The only real skill I had was working with dogs, but while I was a handler, I hadn’t been a trainer. Because I couldn’t think of options, I decided I should contact the VA program that helped with job placement. Maybe it would have ideas.

  In the meantime, I needed to clean out my grandmother's’ room. I stood in her room and looked around. I hadn’t touched it since she died. Lainey’s property management company had packed some things throughout the house so they wouldn’t be bothered by renters, but for the most part, the room looked the same. The scent of roses from her hand cream lingered in the air.

  “You’re okay with this, aren’t you Memaw?”

  I went to the closet and pulled down the attic access, wondering what I’d find up there. The area was hot and musty, filled with boxes and old furniture. I scanned each item, just to get a sense of what was here. I stopped as I saw a box marked ‘Janet’, my mother’s name. I opened the box, to see what my grandmother would have kept of my mothers. Inside there were old pictures, awards and other items from my mother’s childhood. The woman I always conjured up when I thought of my mother was gaunt, with lifeless eyes, and high. These pictures showed a happy, full-of-life child. Intrigued, I picked up the box and brought it out of the attic and into the living room.

  I didn’t know where my mother was or if she was still alive. Was she still with my father? Was he still alive? I had no idea and no particular interest in finding out. But I did want to see the person she’d been before drugs and alcohol had taken her from me and my grandmother.

  I sat on the couch with the box on the coffee table and took out a handful of pictures. I could see a resemblance to my mother in the photographs, but by the time I knew her, she was a shell of a woman, not the vibrant person in the photos.

  There were pictures of her in the river, at a park, and what looked like a family vacation to the mountains. A section of the pictures were her school photos. I laid them out, starting at the youngest until high school. I stopped on the second picture, which must have been first grade. Her dark hair and eyes shone, her smile was bright and I had a sense of déjà vu. She’s yours.

  I picked up the photo to study it closer. Then it came to me. My mother’s photo looked a lot like Emma. How weird. I sat back, still looking at the picture, going through it feature by feature.

  I had a tinge of unease as I stared into my mother’s eyes that were so much like Emma’s. She’s yours. Was it possible I was her father? I did the math in my head. I didn’t know when Emma’s birthday was, but she was four years old and with nine months of pregnancy, it was possible she was conceived the summer I was home on leave.

  My heart rate picked up at the idea. Me? A father? I was surprisingly wishful that it was true. But of course, it couldn’t be true. For one, Gavin would have kicked my ass if I’d knocked Summer up. He was ready to tear me from limb to limb just for sleeping with her. No way I would have walked away unscathed if I was Emma’s father.

  More importantly, Summer wouldn’t keep this from me. Not sweet, honest, loving Summer. She would have found a way to reach me while I was deployed. Or at the very least, said something since I arrived home.

  No, the resemblance was just a coincidence. I put the photo down and moved on to other items in the box. A part of me wondered if I’d ever have a box like this of my own children’s photos. Before reconnecting with Summer, I’d have said I wouldn’t ever have a family. But now, I wondered if maybe I could have a normal life. One filled with love and children.

  17

  Summer

  I was still on an orgasm high when I left my office that evening. How Rafe was able to do that, I didn’t know. Long after he’d left, my lips, my breasts, my pussy still tingled. Or maybe it was longing for more. Either way, it was both delicious and distracting.

  But as I pulled up to my brother’s house to pick up Emma, I pulled my thoughts away from sexual pleasure, to steeling myself against whatever Gavin might say about my relationship with Rafe.

  “Mommy!”

  It was always a thrill to see the way Emma would light up when she saw me. I tried to remember these moments when she was mad at me or having a tantrum.

  “Hey love bug, did you have fun?”

  “Yes. We went shopping and look.” She held out her hands, where each fingernail was colored with
bright pink polish.

  “So pretty.” I looked at Lainey as she came into the living room. “What color did Uncle Gavin get?”

  Emma laughed. “He said boys don’t wear polish.” She frowned. “Do you think Rafe would?”

  I laughed too. “I don’t know. You’ll have to ask him.”

  Gavin came in the room as well, he wasn’t smiling but he wasn’t glowering either.

  “Tell your aunt and uncle thank you.”

  Emma turned to them. “Thank you.”

  “It’s our pleasure, sweetie.” Lainey tried to squat down, but her large belly made it hard. “How about some sugar?”

  Emma trotted over and gave Lainey a hug and a kiss. Then she gave one to Gavin.

  “Got a minute?” he asked.

  “It depends.”

  “Come on, Em. I think we still have more cookies. Let’s pack some to take with you.”

  “’K.”

  I stepped out onto the porch and braced myself for whatever Gavin had in store for me.

  “Dad called me today. He said Rafe stopped by.”

  Oh? Why hadn’t my dad called me? “Oh dear, another thing for you to hate him for,” I said sarcastically.

  “Summer, knock it off. I don’t hate Rafe…I just…he’s my best friend and he’s sleeping with my sister…it’s not right.”

  “It’s none of your business.” I took a breath. “What did he and dad talk about?”

  “I guess he was looking for me, but they chatted.”

  “And?”

  Gavin shrugged. “Dad said that Rafe told him he loved you. That he thinks you love him too.”

  “I do.” I studied him. “Does that make a difference?”

  “Maybe. A little.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t want him using you. He can get his rocks off with someone else.”

  “I get that I’m your little sister and this is weird, but if I was okay if his interest in me was only in getting his rocks off, then you’d have to accept that. Women like sex too, Gavin. You got your rocks at one time.”

  He rolled his eyes. “You’re not like those women. You’re my baby sister.”

  “Who likes sex. And who likes it a lot with Rafe.” I laughed at how my words made Gavin wince uncomfortably. “In this case, though, it’s more than sex.”

  He nodded. “Dad seems to think he’s sincere.”

  “And you?”

  He shrugged. “I want to talk to him again.”

  That made me nervous. “Don’t be an asshole, Gavin.”

  He held his hands up in surrender. “Only if he deserves it.”

  I shook my head, knowing there was little I could do about it. Gavin and Rafe’s friendship was between them. I didn’t want to come between them, but I wasn’t going to bow out either.

  “I got cookies, mommy!” Emma burst through the screen door.

  “Excellent. We can have a snack on our way to the library.”

  “Yay. Can I get a book on dogs? When Rafe gets a dog I want to know how to take care of it.”

  I chanced a look at Gavin, wondering how he was handling Emma talking about Rafe.

  “She thinks a lot of Rafe. I hope he doesn’t let her down,” he said.

  I had to hope so too, especially once I told him the truth.

  Ten minutes later, Emma and I were in the library looking at books. She had a stack nearly half her height about dogs. I probably should have told her that Rafe might not get a dog. And if he did, she’d only see it on visits. Unless of course, things with Rafe progressed. Would he want to be a family with me and Emma? Or would I have to share her like divorced parents did?

  The idea of being a family appealed to me more than it probably should have. The chances of it happening were less and less the longer I kept the truth about Emma from him, but dammit, I was having a hard time finding the time. Or if I was honest, the courage. Why was it so hard to tell him? What was I afraid of?

  I was afraid he’d reject us. That he’d deny it. That he’d be angry that I’d gotten pregnant after I told him having sex with me was safe. In my defense, I’d believed it was, and then made sure I had protection. And I was afraid he’d feel betrayed that I hadn’t told him five years ago or even more recently.

  But waiting wasn’t going to make it any easier. I needed to tell him. Tonight.

  “Sweetie, we need to get going. Which books do you want?”

  “We just got here.” Emma pouted. “I want to look at more books.”

  “I know honey, but mommy has something she needs to do.”

  “You promised me we could stay at the library.” Her voice pitched up.

  “Emma,” I said in a lower tone so other patrons weren’t bothered. “We have come to the library. Now you need to pick the books. You can read them at home.”

  “But I want to look at more.” Her little lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.

  Shit. “Ten more minutes.” I knew I shouldn’t give in to her tears, but she was right. I’d promised her an evening at the library. “Ten minutes to look at books and then we need to go.”

  She frowned. “You’re not fair.”

  “Ten minutes or we can go now.”

  She growled as she slid from her chair and went back to the bookshelves.

  As she searched for more books, I formulated a plan. Maybe I could ask Jess to watch Emma and invite Rafe over to talk to him. Maybe I could have my father watch her. No, Jess was closer. Once I told Rafe, we’d need to tell Emma.

  But first, I’d need to invite Rafe over. I’d told him we were busy, but plans change. I could invite him for dessert. No, not dessert. He might think that was code for sex. My heart rate was galloping in a mixture of unease and excitement. Tonight could make or break my relationship with Rafe. My life. Emma’s life. Oh God, so much was riding on this. I had to get it right.

  18

  Rafe

  I took a long run to sort out my rambling thoughts about Summer, Emma and getting my house together. After a quick dip in the river, I showered and made dinner. I was just putting my plate in the sink when there was a knock on my door.

  My heart and libido hoped it was Summer, but I reminded myself she’d made plans with Emma. I didn’t have many guests, and so my second guess was Gavin. I looked out the window and saw his truck. I wondered if he was there to kick my ass or perhaps make peace.

  “Gavin,” I said when I opened the door.

  “Rafe. Got a minute to talk?”

  He looked serious, but not pissed. I opened the door to let him in. I followed him into the living room. He sat in one of my grandmother's old wingback chairs.

  “Do you want a soda or something?” I offered.

  He shook his head. “Nah, thanks.”

  I sat on the couch and waited for him to tell me why he was there.

  He studied me for a moment. “My father says you stopped by.”

  I leaned back, deciding he wasn’t there to pummel me. “I was looking for you.”

  “Why?”

  “I value our friendship and I wanted to see if there was a way to salvage it.”

  “So, you’ll leave my sister alone?”

  My jaw clenched. “Summer would skin you alive if she knew you were asking me to do that.”

  “She’s not here, is she?”

  I took a deep breath. “If you’re asking me to choose between her and you…” Fuck this was hard. “I’ll choose her.”

  His eyes narrowed. I couldn’t decide if he was surprised or not by the statement.

  “I’d rather not have to choose, man, but I love her.”

  “That’s what my dad said.”

  I nodded. “I’m not using her or taking advantage of her.”

  “What about Emma? Summer is a package deal.”

  “I love Emma. I went to the shelter to see about getting a dog for her.”

  Gavin surprised me by barking out a laugh. “God, Summer won’t allow that.”

  “The dog will be h
ere.”

  Gavin shook his head. “You do have it bad, don’t you?”

  “Not bad. It’s good. I feel good when I’m with her. I want to be good when I’m with her. I feel…grounded if that makes sense.”

  He crossed his ankle over his knee. “So, it’s serious?”

  “Serious enough. I’ve called about putting a fence in so Emma can’t get to the river without supervision. I’m moving the house around to get her a room.”

  “Fuckin’a, you are serious. Does Summer know this? Is she moving in?”

  I shook my head. Truth was, I hadn’t decided about moving in together, but as he said it, I wondered what I was waiting for. I understood her need to be with Emma and would happily wait my turn, but if they lived with me, I could be with them both every night. “I haven’t said anything to her yet.”

  “But you think she’ll agree?”

  “I hope so.”

  Gavin leaned forward. “You’ve been home what…ten days? A couple of weeks? And you want to live with my sister.”

  Fuck, now I really needed to come clean. “This isn’t new.”

  His brows shot up to his hairline and then lowered into a scowl. “What do you mean?”

  I took a breath. “Jesus…”

  “Tell me, Rafe. How long have you and Summer been together?”

  “It started when I was on leave after my grandmother died.”

  Gavin jerked back in his chair. “What?”

  “I didn’t pursue her.” That wasn’t quite true. While I didn’t go after her, when she showed up, I made a move. He didn’t need to know that. “She came over one night and…”

  “You fucked her then.”

  White hot heat flashed through my body. “It wasn’t like that. Jesus, Gavin, it’s one thing to say to me, but what it implies about what you think of Summer is unacceptable. You should give her some fucking respect.”

  He shook his head.

  “She’s not the type to sleep around.”

  “But she did with you.” Then his body went tense. “Fuck, Rafe, did you take her virginity?”