Brother’s Best Friend

by Kaylee, Katy

  I thought for a moment about whether I should say the words that came to mind. “That’s not the life I want, Tony. You of all people should understand that.”

  He stiffened slightly, but then pulled me into a hug.

  “I’m all set here, and Jake will do his part. I’ll make it work.”

  Tony kissed my head. “Yeah, you will. You always do.”

  28

  Jake

  When I did family law, divorces specifically, I couldn’t figure out how two people who once loved each other enough to commit themselves to a life together could come out the other side with such bitterness and hate. Now I knew. Love and trust were the enemy. Once you gave those to someone, you were at serious risk of betrayal.

  I couldn’t fucking believe it. Sofia was the last person I’d have ever guessed would betray me. What was she thinking in not telling me she was pregnant? Sure, I’d told her I didn’t want marriage and kids, but I wasn’t the type of asshole that would shirk my responsibly.

  Maybe if I’d told her sooner how I felt about her, she’d have told me about the baby, but I wasn’t going to let her off the hook. Whether I loved her nor not, I deserved to know about the baby. If she loved and trusted me, she’d have told me, which answered the question about whether or not she cared for me.

  Fuck! I threw my vodka glass across the room, not caring that it shattered. It was a metaphor for my heart.

  I took in a few heaving breaths and got focused. No more limbo. I now knew what was going on and what I needed to do.

  I took the wedding rings from my pocket and tossed them in a drawer in my desk. I opened my laptop to learn about pregnancy. Shit, I hadn’t asked her how far along she was. She said she found out before she moved out, so she was at least a few weeks.

  I read about fetal development. Seeing the pictures on the screen reminded me of the sonogram Sofia showed me. Holy fuck, I made a person. The magnitude of that was heady. And it crushed me that I’d discovered something I wanted, Sofia and a child, when I couldn’t have it.

  I clicked out of the browser and opened my word processing program with my legal templates. I had a prenup with her and I’d honor it. Sofia would get her bakery. I imagined it would be difficult to be heavily pregnant and work all day every day. She’d probably need time off when the baby was born. That would mean she needed more staff.

  I checked my financial situation and figured I could funnel some more money to the bakery for one more staff person. I could also pay for a part-time nanny when the baby came.

  Going back to my legal docs, I worked through divorce paperwork, using the terms of the prenup as well as setting up child support for the baby. Having established parameters around my responsibility, I turned to my rights. As the child’s father, I deserved equal time, so that was what I was going to ask for. Mr. Wallace flashed in my mind. He wouldn’t like this. He’d tell me to let Sofia do all the childrearing so I could work more. Fuck that. I wasn’t going to be one of those dads that worked all the time and didn’t know their kids. I’d know mine. I’d learn to diaper and feed a baby. I’d teach him or her how to throw a ball and ride a bike. We’d go camping and to Disney World. I was going to be that dad. Jesus, if only I’d had the chance, I could have been a good partner to Sofia too.

  I shook my head, not wanting to think of her and how she’d completely destroyed my trust.

  * * *

  The next day, I ignored all the funny looks I got as I walked through the firm to my office. I could only imagine the gossip going around about how Sofia’s brother punched me in the face.

  “Is everything okay, Mr. Dunne?” Gina asked as I passed her desk.

  “Just dandy,” I said.

  I hid in my office, not wanting to know what everyone was whispering about me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t hide from my superiors.

  Midmorning, Mr. Wallace stopped by my office. “I guess you know the police let your wife’s brother go, since you weren’t there to make a statement.”

  I didn’t know but assumed as much. “It’s fine.” In some ways, he deserved at least one blow. I did, in fact, fuck my friend’s sister.

  “Look, Dunne, I don’t want to get into your business, but we can’t have that kind of riffraff in the office.”

  “No, sir. I’m sorry about that. It won’t happen again.”

  He eyed my left hand and frowned. “Trouble at home?”

  I stared at him. “Excuse my lack of tact sir, but it’s none of your damn business.”

  He jerked back, wide-eyed.

  I continued on before he could respond. “What you care about most is billable hours, which I have always been one of your top lawyers for and will continue to be. If you leave me alone, I’ll get to it right now.”

  He stared at me and I wondered if he was going to arrange to have me outed. Instead, he ran a hand down his tie. “As long as the work continues to be top notch, I’ll stay out of your way.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  When my door closed behind him, I blew out a breath and scraped my hands over my face. Then I called my secretary and told her to not let anyone bother me. I printed out the divorce paperwork for me and Sofia, ignoring the piercing pain in my chest as I stuffed them in a manila envelope and set it aside. I’d figure out how to deliver it to her later.

  My self-imposed office exile was short-lived when Val showed up.

  “Hey, champ. Quite a show yesterday.”

  “I’m busy, Val.”

  Ignoring me as usual, she sat in the chair Mr. Wallace had vacated not that long before.

  “I notice the ring is gone. The brother won that round?”

  I tugged my tie loose, feeling like I was being strangled. “She can have her brother. She can have it all.” Except the baby. “I’m done.”

  Val tilted her head to the side. “What happened?”

  “This was all fake, Val. You know that. I got partner like I wanted, but if I don’t work, Wallace will work to oust me.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “He’s not the only one who can try to oust you, Jake.”

  “Fuck, Val, really? Gonna kick me while I’m down?” Unable to breathe, I stood and went to the window.

  She was quiet for a minute. “I’m your mentor and your friend, Jake. I want to help.”

  “There’s nothing you can do except let me work.”

  “That’s not going to happen.”

  “You’re going to have me kicked out for not telling you my secrets? What the hell is wrong with you people? This is a fucking law firm. Let me do my job.”

  “Your uncle asked me to look out for you,” she said.

  “Ah, hell.” I sat on my couch, wishing I was anywhere else but where I was.

  “Not just when I helped you with the bar exam or getting you started. When he was sick and knew he was dying, he asked me to make sure you didn’t turn out like him.”

  “What? Rich? Successful? Respected?”

  “Alone.”

  I’d always looked up to my uncle, especially after my father’s infidelity. As far as I could tell, my uncle lived on his own terms. If he was lonely, he hid it well behind the women and wine. “Don’t bullshit me, Val. I’m not in the mood.”

  “No bullshit, Jake. That settling down thing from partners, that came from your uncle.”

  “No way. If that were true, you’d have stopped it. Or you wouldn’t have supported this fake deal with Sofia.”

  “First, I thought it was a bunch of bull too, which is why it was hilarious how you were going to beat your uncle and the partners at their own game. But then I met Sofia and saw you two together.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “It was fake.”

  “Fake my ass. You two love each other. The tragedy is that you’re both oblivious to it.”

  “She doesn’t love me, that I know.” I rose and went to my bar. I decided I might as well drink, since I wasn’t going to get any work done.

  “You’re wrong, Jake.”

  I shook
my head. “She lied and betrayed me. People who love each other don’t do that.”

  “She cheated?” Val’s voice indicated disbelief.

  “She withheld information.”

  “Like how she didn’t tell her family she was married? Did you tell yours?” She quirked a brow at me. “Didn’t someone just tell me that people don’t lie or withhold information from people they love?”

  “It’s not the same,” I said, even though I knew I was the one full of bullshit now.

  “I’m sure your parents would agree,” she quipped.

  I downed my vodka and poured another. “Want a whiskey?” I offered since it appeared she wasn’t going to be leaving.

  “Yes.”

  I poured her a drink, and after refilling my glass, I headed back to the couch. I’d let her have her drink, give her lecture, and then I’d get to work.

  She took a sip. “Listen, I know I seem like the last person to give you love advice, but I want you to be totally honest with yourself. Were you happy being married, even though it was fake?”

  I clenched my teeth. “Yes.”

  “I know you were unhappy when she left.”

  “She wasn’t though, which should tell you something.” I downed my vodka and wished I’d brought the bottle with me to the couch.

  “That’s why she showed up here with goodies; because she didn’t care for you.” Val leaned forward toward me. “You don’t think I don’t know what you two were doing in here?”

  Jesus.

  “Personally, I was glad. Your billing hours only dipped a little, and yet you brought in a big dog and have more favorable reviews from the staff and your clients.”

  “Wallace is all about billable hours.”

  “Wallace is a dinosaur. He’ll be retiring before long. Even so, you’re still more productive than most, even while having a wife.”

  “What about a kid?” There was no doubt that would take time.

  She sat back. “So, she is pregnant.”

  Oh, how I wished I could take that back.

  “All the more reason to fight for her, Jake. Jesus.” She stood abruptly, her demeanor turning from slightly amused to irritated. She glared at me. “You have the world right here.” She held her hands up. “Successful career. Beautiful wife who does, in fact, love you. And a baby on the way. What sort of idiot would give that up?”

  “She didn’t tell me about the baby. She doesn’t want me.”

  “Did she tell you that? Did she say, Jake, I don’t love you?”

  I scoffed. “She never said otherwise.”

  “Did you? Did you say, ‘Sofia, I love you’?”

  Inwardly I growled.

  “I’ll take that as a no. In fifteen years, you’ll be me, Jake, if you don’t go to her and lay it all out on the line. Maybe she won’t want you, but if you don’t know for sure, you’ll die a little bit inside every day from the regret in not taking that chance.”

  I hated that she was right.

  “Did she tell you why she kept the news of the baby from you?”

  I stood and rolled my shoulders as if that would get rid of the tension I felt. “She said she was afraid to tell me because I didn’t want a family.”

  Val frowned. “She didn’t think you’d do what was right?”

  “That’s the part that doesn’t make sense. She says she knows I’d take care of her and the baby.”

  “Huh.” Her brows furrowed in thought. “It’s strange she wouldn’t want that…unless…”

  “Unless what?”

  “Unless she didn’t want to be an obligation. A woman like Sofia isn’t going to be with someone who feels he has to be, marriage of convenience notwithstanding. She wants to be wanted for herself.”

  “I do want her, goddammit.” I set my glass down on my desk so I didn’t throw it.

  “But you haven’t told her that.” Val slapped her hands down on her knees like a final exclamation point. “So, you go to her, tell her you love her first, and then follow up with the baby stuff.” She looked at me with an expression like she’d solved all the world’s problems.

  “That ship has sailed, Val. But thanks for trying.”

  She pursed her lips. “Your stubbornness and fear will be your downfall.”

  “Gee, thanks for your support.”

  She stood. “Think about what I’ve said, Jake. Really.”

  I did think about it. It was all I could think about that day and the next and the next. Several times I was on my way to Sofia’s or ready to call her, not sure what I’d say. Maybe I just wanted to hear her voice. But as the following week started, I realized I hadn’t heard from her. No confessions of love like Val said she felt. No apologies. The only message I received was a date and time for a doctor’s appointment. For a nanosecond, I considered not going, not because I didn’t want to see how the baby was doing, but because I wasn’t sure I could see Sofia. My feelings were so conflicted, who knew what I’d do. There was a fifty-fifty chance I’d drop to a knee and confess my love and another fifty-percent chance I’d yell at her for lying to me.

  In the end, nothing was going to keep me from being a good father. Not even the heartbreak at seeing Sofia. So, at the scheduled date and time, I arrived at the appointment.

  “Jake. You came,” she said as I entered the waiting area.

  Annoyed that she thought I wouldn’t, I said, “I told you I was going to be involved.” I realized then I could have brought the divorce papers that I still hadn’t sent to her. Fucking Val got me all tied up inside about what to do.

  “Yes, of course.” She looked up at me with a mixture of guilt and hesitation. Like she was gauging my mood to decide her own actions.

  “Everything okay? With the baby, I mean.”

  She nodded and looked down. “Jake, I’m so sorry—”

  “Ms. Bellini,” a nurse called for Sofia.

  I stared at her. “Bellini.”

  She bit her lip. “I thought you’d have served me papers by now so I used my maiden name.”

  “I left them on my desk.”

  Her eyes welled with tears, but she hurried past me toward the nurse.

  “You can come too, Mr. Bellini.” I couldn’t help but smirk at that. I followed Sofia and the woman back to a small room. She took Sofia’s blood pressure and weight and asked her a few questions. “The doctor will be in shortly.”

  I sat in the chair while Sofia sat on the examination table.

  “How often do you have these appointments?” I asked, making small talk.

  “Monthly until the end. Then weekly.”

  “When is it due?”

  “About thirty weeks.”

  I did the mental math and felt anger rise. “You’ve known for nearly three months?”

  “No.” She looked down. “But I did know before the move.”

  I stared at her, my heart longing for her and not understanding why she’d keep it from me. “Why, Sofia?”

  She wiped a tear away. “I hoped you’d ask me to stay.”

  “What?” That didn’t make sense. “If you told me I would have asked you to stay.”

  “I know, which is why I didn’t tell you. I wanted you to ask me to stay because you wanted me. Not out of obligation. I didn’t want to have you resent me or live a life of quiet desperation like Tony.”

  I could only stare at her.

  “Jake, I love you. I wanted you to love me too.”

  For the first time in a long time, I felt my heart pump. Just one little beat because I wasn’t going to let it take me down the path of heartache again.

  “That still doesn’t explain why you hadn’t told me since you moved out.,” I said.

  The door opened and a woman who looked too young to be a doctor walked in. “You must be the father,” she said, holding out her hand.

  I stood and shook hers. “Yes.”

  “Sofia asked that we have another sonogram so you can hear and see your child.” The doctor instructed Sofia to lay back and then
pulled up her shirt, exposing her belly. I remembered the time we made love in her new place, noting she’d gained some weight. She’d been pregnant then. Plus, on my desk.

  “We had sex not long ago, will that have hurt the baby?”

  The doctor smiled in a way that told me she heard this question a lot. “No. You can have a regular sex life unless it becomes too uncomfortable. But many women have sex the night before they give birth.”

  Really?

  After putting some jelly substance on Sofia’s belly, the doctor used the sonogram wand moving around. Almost immediately I heard a steady rapid beating.

  My heart constricted. “Jesus.” I looked at the screen. “Is that the heartbeat?”

  “Yes. Good and strong,” the doctor said. “Ah, look there.”

  Holy shit. An image that at first looked like an unshelled peanut appeared. But then I could make out a head and little arms.

  Instinctively, I reached out and took Sofia’s hand. “We made that?”

  “Yes.” Sofia sniffed. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

  “It’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.” I looked at the doctor. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

  “We’ll need to wait a few more weeks to know that, if you want to know.”

  I looked at Sofia. “Do we want to know?”

  She gave a half laugh, half cry, “I don’t know.”

  “Some people like to know in advance and some people like to wait and be surprised,” the doctor said.

  “As long as it’s healthy, I don’t care,” Sofia said, squeezing my hand.

  I watched the baby again.

  “You can see little fingers and toes,” the doctor said, pointing to the screen.

  I rubbed my heart with my other hand. I now understood the profound power of love. When I looked at Sofia again, that intensity was still there. Everything else in the world melted away into this moment and this space; The woman I loved and the child we’d made.

  “Sofia.”

  She smiled and pulled my hand to her lips.