by Nikki Landis
“I know. That’s why I’m so happy I have you, Jayce. You’re my sexy silver biker and hero all in one.”
Damn she was as sweet as holiday candy and as yummy as a warm sugar cookie straight from the oven. I had a thing for sweets and cookies. Desired and liked her even more.
“Damn straight, baby. You’ve helped me too. I can finally breathe a little since Colter died. He was only seventeen when the car he was in crashed. Lost him and his girlfriend. Gutted me completely. Had bad blood between me and my brother Petros that had a lot to do with Colter’s mom. I’ve made some mistakes in my past and I can’t ever repair that relationship completely. We tolerate one another but that’s it. Have to ya know. We’re both Royal Bastards.” I sighed. “I’ve been drowning every day since my son died. Until you.”
“Oh, Jayce. I’m so sorry. Losing a child, I can’t imagine. And a brother too.”
“Noah reminds me so much of him. It’s fuckin’ hard, Bess.”
“I know it is,” she whispered, lifting her head to gaze into my eyes. “I’m here for you, just like you’ve been for me.”
“Yeah, you are.”
Our mouths fused together, and the kiss sparked a flame that neither of us could put out. She cried out my name several more times before I finally had to leave her side.
With a kiss and a promise to return later that afternoon, I left my Bess in bed and fully satisfied.
“What’s up with you?” Rael asked, ticking his head in my direction.
“What the fuck you mean?” I asked with attitude.
Mammoth chuckled. “Something different about you, Papa. We can all see it.”
Couldn’t stop the grin that followed. Like the cat that caught the damn canary.
“Fuck. You got laid again. Damn. At least I know I’ll have game when I get as old as you.”
I flipped off Rael and then shrugged. “I’m happy. So? Get over it.”
Hannibal had his arms folded over his chest. Stick of raw sugar cane was sticking out of his mouth. “Good for you. She got a friend?”
The room went dead silent for about three seconds before it erupted in loud guffaws.
“This is why I don’t come around often. You shits like to bust my balls too much.”
Hannibal’s lips twitched and he nearly lost the sugar cane. “You fuckin’ love me. Don’t even play around like I’m not your favorite.” He had his metal lighter in his hand and kept flipping it open and shut. Always restless, he never could keep his hands still for long.
Snorting, I shook my head. “Mammoth is the only one who’s not a total dick.”
“I take offense to that,” Grim announced as he walked in and took his place at the head of the table.
“You weren’t here either,” I pointed out.
Grim picked up his gavel and banged it down. “Church is in session, you ugly motherfuckers. We got a big vote today and club business first. Then Papa is gonna tell us all how he’s fallen in love like a little schoolgirl with her first infatuation.”
Laughter followed and the room didn’t quiet down for several minutes.
“Fuck all of you. On second thought, I’ll just go home and fuck my Bess all night.”
For some reason, the room went quiet fast.
Mammoth squeezed my shoulder. “I’m happy for you, brother. Every single man here knows what this means to you.”
Fists pounded the table.
Hannibal winked in my direction. Asshole.
Rael made smoochy noises and I slugged him on the arm.
“First order of business,” Grim declared. “We got to bring the proposition to the table about Hope’s Refuge.”
Heads nodded as everyone focused on our pres.
“Mercy is the founder of Hope’s Refuge. A group of men who refer to themselves as ghosts and keep their identities a secret with members all over the U.S. They have code names like Avenger here.” Grim ticked his head in my direction. “Abused women and children receive help and are relocated from dangerous homes. Rape victims are usually taken to Lily’s Hope first in Pennsylvania. Domestic violence vics are transported from their home state to another part of the U.S. No single ghost knows the entire route. Mercy is the one who makes the connections.”
“How does that work?” Mammoth looked a little confused and I couldn’t blame him. It was a complicated set up.
“Papa?” Grim was letting me take over and I nodded.
“Mercy contacts us and we’re given the info to connect with the next ghost. We meet the ghost at the rendezvous point and use the code phrase Mercy gives us to identify one another and help the sparrow or lotus feel comfortable enough to trust us. Sparrows are DV vics and lotus are rape survivors.” I swallowed hard as I thought about Bess. “We’re either a point of contact and take them to the next ghost or we’re a contact as they settle in the area.” Blinking, I had a strange feeling in my gut.
Shit. Was Bess the sparrow that arrived in town a few months ago?
“Ghosts provide protection, shelter, basic needs like food and clothing. Whatever the sparrow or lotus needs to get started. It’s a financial obligation but there’s not a minimal requirement. You do as much as you can. We buy a lot of gift cards and have them on hand. Easy to pass on since there’s a Walmart in every town and Visa is accepted most everywhere.”
“How long do you stay in contact?” Exorcist tilted his head to the side. “I would want to know they’re safe.”
Grunts of agreement went around the room.
“We never make physical contact beyond the initial meet unless there’s a substantial reason like providing transportation. Would be easy for us here to donate used cars and fix them up since we’ve got our shop and Otis’s Junkyard. He owes a favor for helping his ass a few years back.”
Grim agreed.
“I hold onto the contact info for the lotus or sparrow for six months. Contact on days 1, 3, 7, 14, and months 1 through 6. After that, the numbers are deleted but the sparrow or lotus has an emergency number provided by Mercy. He has a separate phone that he knows only rings when something is up. We give that line once the six months is up. Not before. The sparrow or lotus knows they have help if they need it.”
“Damn. That’s fuckin’ brilliant,” Bodie blurted. “I want in on this.”
“Same,” Hannibal added.
Grim held up his hands. “Hold on. All of you need to understand we agree to help support and financially help out Hope’s Refuge. In exchange, the Royal Bastards MC Tonopah Chapter will be a co-owner. We’ll all be ghosts like Papa and points of contact. All those in favor, say aye.”
A chorus of “aye” was said around the room.
“All those opposed say no.”
Nothing.
“Good. The vote passes. We’re invested in Hope’s Refuge.”
Fists pounded the table a second time.
“I have one other idea,” I announced. “In the spring I suggest we do a fundraiser. A carwash with the ladies or some shit to bring in business. Mercy always needs supplies like blankets, coats, and basic necessities. When sparrows are rescued, they often have children and nothing with them but the clothes on their backs. There are some wealthy patrons who Mercy trusts to provide donations, but he always needs more.”
Grim nodded. “Agreed. I vote yes.”
All my brothers added their positive vote.
“I’d like to donate my resources to help forge new identities for women and children. I know that’s a need,” Xenon offered.
“Mercy will appreciate that.”
“I’ve got a friend with the city,” Hannibal added. He had friends and contacts everywhere. “Gonna call in some favors and see what I can do about fixing up some houses around the state in different cities. Homes that can be used to help if a need arises.”
“Perfect.” Grim looked pleased. “Any other club business?”
No one spoke up.
The gavel hit the table. “Get out of here, you fuckers. I got shit to do.”
>
Laughter followed as the room emptied and I picked up my phone on the way out, snatching it from the basket outside of the chapel and walking into the cool, crisp outdoors.
I had an important call to make.
Murder answered on the third ring. “Papa! Where the fuck you been, brother?”
“Balls deep in pussy,” I answered, getting a loud chuckle from him in response. “What about you? Ready to put a ring on it yet?”
I’d been giving him shit about Alexa for a long time. Knew he loved her though and I understood his past. It was as full of pain as my own. We didn’t often speak of losing our kids at the same time, but it sure fucked the both of us up for a lot of years.
“As a matter of fact, yeah. You better be here for the wedding too.”
No shit? “When?”
“Valentine’s Day.”
Wow. “I’ll be there,” I promised. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Counting on it.” He cleared his throat. “What you need?”
“I need some advice. It’s a delicate situation.”
“Alright.”
“I’ve got a new ol’ lady,” I began.
Murder bust out with a loud laugh. “Knew it. You sounded much too happy not to be serious about bein’ balls deep in pussy.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“Go on.”
“She’s a DV vic. Didn’t know this until last night but she was raped.”
Murder went quiet. “Fuck,” he whispered.
“I, uh, don’t know how to handle this shit. I want to be there for her, but . . .” I trailed off and he seemed to know what I meant.
“You want Lily to call her?”
“I think so. She’s dealing with a lot of shit. Has an 8-year-old too. Boy looks just like Colter at that age.”
“Damn, Papa.”
“They’re mine, Murder. You feel me?”
“Yeah. I get what you’re sayin’. You need help finding that bastard who hurt her let me know.”
There was no bullshit here. Murder understood I was going to kill the man who hurt my Bess.
“Her name is Bess. Noah is the boy. I’ll send you the contact info when we hang up.”
“I got you.”
“Thanks, brother.”
“Always.”
The call ended and I sent the text. My heart and my gut were twisted up in knots as I headed back indoors to ask Xenon what he could find on Chet Wilson.
“I’m going over to Santa’s,” Noah announced.
“Oh? I thought he was gone all day.”
“He is. I’m getting $10 a day to feed and play with Savage.”
Savage? Oh, the dog. I remembered now. “Okay, Booga. Come home in an hour.”
“I will!”
He pulled on his hat, gloves, and jacket and ran out the front door as the wind began to howl. The air felt heavy and thick and the storm everyone was talking about was close to hitting. Once Noah was back home, I’d make us some hot chocolate and we would bake some more cookies. Jayce kept eating them all with Noah on the couch at night after dinner. I snickered with the thought. Couple of Cookie Monsters.
My phone vibrated my pocket and I looked down to see a number that wasn’t familiar. A cold sweat broke out on my skin and for a second I thought Chet had my number. It was silly to think so and I swiped across, answering just to prove to myself that I wasn’t afraid anymore.
“Hi,” an older female voice greeted, “This is Lily. Are you Bess?”
Relieved, you could probably hear it in my voice. “Yes, this is Bess. How can I help you?”
“I’m a friend of Papa’s. He talked to my brother and asked me to give you a call.”
“Okay.”
“I think it’s best if I tell you a little about what I do and then it will make more sense. That sound okay?”
“Sure.” I was curious. Why was she calling?
“I run a little place called Lily’s Hope in Pennsylvania. It’s a safe haven for women like me who have been through trauma.”
Trauma? Like what?
“I provide a temporary home on a farm with a lot of land that gives the women a quiet place to recover from their injuries and find others who have gone through a similar experience. There are groups that meet to encourage and provide support through the healing process as well as breakout rooms that allow an outlet for the pain and heartbreak to filter through.”
Stunned, I didn’t know what to say.
“Some paint. Others like to read and write. Some use physical exercise and bond with the animals. It’s different for each of us.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“You see, I know what they’re going through. I’m a survivor too, Bess. I was raped just like each one of them.”
Shit. My throat closed up and I choked out some kind of response, but I wasn’t sure what it was.
“You may not be ready yet to talk about what you went through and that’s okay. Someday you will and I hope when you are, you’ll think of me as a friend and someone you can confide in. I’d sure like to be there for you, Bess.”
Tears filled my eyes and overflowed, spilling down my cheeks. Her soft voice and kindness meant more than I could have expressed into words.
“Thank you.” It was all I could get out.
“You let me know if the nightmares are too much, okay?”
“I will,” I promised. “Lily?”
“Yeah, honey?”
“I’m glad you called.”
“Me too. I’m always here for sparrows and lotus.”
My eyes widened. “You help us too?”
“I sure do. It’s my little slice of heaven that came out of hell.”
I knew exactly what she meant. That was how I felt about Noah.
“What’s a lotus?”
“The lotus is a flower that’s a symbol of purity, enlightenment, self-regeneration and rebirth. Even when its roots are in the dirtiest waters, the lotus produces the most beautiful flower. Just like us, honey. We’re still beautiful. Still worth love. Nothing can take that away.”
“You’re a special lady, Lily.”
I could hear her smile over the phone. “You are too. Keep your chin up, Bess. Don’t forget you’re not alone.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “This means so much to me. Thank you, Lily.”
“Always.”
After she hung up and we promised to keep in touch, I felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words until they were spoken. I wasn’t just a victim, spoiled and tainted for the rest of my life. Sure, I had marks, bruises, imperfections on my skin and proof of the battle that I had endured but I won. I fought. I clawed my way out.
I was a survivor, just like Lily and the other women at Lily’s Hope.
Nothing could change that, and nothing could steal it away.
My phone was buzzing inside my cut and wouldn’t let up. I was anxiously waiting on any information Xenon could find on Chet and had ignored the device until now. When I glanced down, I saw Bess’s name and felt bad I didn’t answer. Swiping across, I was about to apologize when she started yelling and crying and I couldn’t understand her words.
“Bess, sugar, calm down for me a little I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Noah! He’s gone!”
“What!?” I thundered, feeling the immediate rise of my Reaper in response. My words were a growl as I asked her for details. “Tell me what happened.”
“Noah left to feed Savage over an hour ago. When he didn’t come back, I went to your house. The back door is busted in and Savage is injured. He’s bleeding but I’ve got a dishcloth pushed against the wound. I think somebody stabbed him,” she wailed.
Fuck!
“Noah isn’t here. He’s gone!”
“I’m coming, baby. You keep me on the phone. Don’t hang up!” I ordered as I ran through the Crossroads and around my brothers, hopping on my Harley and firing it up the second my ass landed
on the seat. I was vaguely aware of a few following me and was grateful I didn’t have to ask.
“Breathe for me,” I shouted into the wind, placing the call on speaker, and holding it with one gloved hand and trying to steer with both at the same time. Fuckin’ crazy in the weather we were having. Snow was falling down in heavy, thick flakes and I didn’t give two shits that I was freezing by the time I rumbled up my driveway and killed the engine.
“Bess!” shouted, ending the call as I ran around the back of the house.
I found her on the kitchen floor, eyes glassed over and completely panicked. She had a hand pressed to Savage’s side who was lying still but I saw the rise and fall of his chest.
“I’ve got Savage,” Bodie announced. “I’ll take him to the vet.”
I was already tying fabric from two knotted towels around his middle to keep him stable. Tossing my keys to Bodie, he caught them and nodded. “Take my truck.”
Bodie lifted Savage and ran out the back door as I pulled Bess into my arms. “Is the blood from Savage?”
“I-I think so,” she stammered.
“Hey, I’ve got you. I’m gonna take care of this.” I stood up, holding her close against my side.
Bess was shivering and I knew she was about to lose it. “Jayce.”
“I know, baby. I swear to you. I’ll find Noah. I just need to get you safe first. Okay?”
She nodded but I wasn’t sure she understood my words. Scooping under her knees, I lifted my ol’ lady and hugged her close. A quick kiss on her forehead and then I was running outside and over to her house.
“We’re gonna take your SUV.”
“Okay.”
I sped all the way to the Crossroads and skidded into the lot once the prospects opened the damn gate. Bess was in no condition to walk and I carried her in, walking into the common room as it grew completely silent. I let her legs fall as I stood next to one of the leather couches. She was so frightened I knew I would enjoy killing the man bold enough to come after my family.
“Hey,” I growled, cupping her face gently. “I love Noah too. His big brown eyes. Silly smile. All those nonstop questions and curiosity. He’s a son to me. I don’t have to tell you what it takes for me to say those words aloud.” Swallowing hard, I had to fight back tears. “I’m gettin’ our boy back. You feel me, little mama?”