The Human Omega

by J. L. Wilder

  “I could kiss you, you know. I’m worthless without coffee in the mornings.” Kiedra grabbed two mugs from the table and crossed to the counter where the coffee pot sat. She filled the mugs and turned to Axe.

  “How do you take it? Black, right?”

  “Nah, put sugar in until the spoon stands up on its own. It’s the only way I can stand coffee.”

  Kiedra fixed the coffee and then sat at the table watching Axe finish cooking. Axe looked up from time to time and grinned at her, but said nothing until he was done. He brought the plates of food to the table and sat next to Kiedra.

  “Eat up while it’s hot!”

  The two ate in silence for several minutes. Kiedra felt more and more awake until she finally felt ready to carry on a conversation.

  “This is really good. Who finally taught you to cook?”

  Axe chewed and swallowed. “Mamma. I’ve been coming over every couple of days to make food for her—not that she’s been eating much lately. She got tired of sandwiches and made it her mission in life to teach me to cook so she could eat better.”

  “That definitely sounds like Mamma. Did she give you the secret recipe for her French toast?”

  “She did, but if I tell you, I’ll have to kill you.”

  Kiedra laughed. “Well, maybe I can get her to share it with me too.”

  Axe shrugged and the mood in the kitchen came crashing down.

  “We should go to the hospital. Visiting hours start in half an hour.”

  “Right.” Kiedra carried her plate and mug to the sink and Axe followed close behind. “It’ll just take a minute for me to put on a clean shirt.”

  “I’ll wash up while you change.”

  “Maybe when we get back, you can help me,” Axe called over his shoulder.

  “Sure, though I have no idea what you think I can help with.”

  “We’ll figure it out.” Axe made a shooing motion at Kiedra. “Go, change, and for God’s sake woman, brush your teeth!”

  Axe started the water in the sink and Kiedra headed back to the living room. She grabbed her toiletries and a clean shirt from her bag and headed for the bathroom under the stairs. Once the door closed between her and Axe, she leaned over the sink, gripping the sides, and tried to stop the trembling that wracked her body. She closed her eyes and made a desperate effort to calm herself.

  Behind her closed lids, Kiedra saw Sylvia standing at the stove, just as Axe had been, a big bowl of liquid and bread on the counter next to the sink. The smell of cinnamon and eggs filled the kitchen while Mamma flipped the French toast without a spatula and Kiedra laughed and waited, plate in hand, beside her.

  “Now you eat what you take, Kiki. You remember that. We don’t waste food in this house, right?”

  “No, Mamma. We sure don’t.”

  Axe pounded on the door tearing a startled yelp from Kiedra’s lips.

  “Hey, you’ve been in there twenty minutes. Are we going up to the hospital or not?”

  Kiedra shook her head to clear it before turning on the water and grabbing her toothbrush from her toiletries bag.

  “Yeah, we’re going. I’ll be out in a sec.”

  Axe’s boots made the loose board in the hallway squeal as he stepped on it and cursed.

  “Jesus, I always forget that,” he muttered as he headed for the front door.

  Kiedra brushed her teeth and hair before changing shirts and tossing the dirty one on the couch as she ran for the front door.

  Axe’s eyes lit up as she came out the front door and found him leaning against the front of his truck.

  “All right, Kiki?”

  “As all right as I’m gonna get here. Let’s go.”

  AS the truck pulled to a stop in the hospital parking lot, Kiedra’s cell phone rang. She pawed through her bag, seeking the screeching thing to catch the caller, but as she extracted the phone from her bag, it stopped ringing.

  Axe’s phone immediately rang and Kiedra’s heart stuttered. She locked eyes with Axe, and shook her head.

  “Don’t answer it. It’s not good news.” Kiedra stumbled out of the truck and leaned on the side while Axe answered his phone.

  “When? Yeah, we knew it was coming. We’re in the parking lot.” Axe disconnected the call and got out of the truck. He circled to where Kiedra leaned.

  “Mamma?” Kiedra asked.

  “Yeah. About half an hour ago.”

  “While we were eating in her kitchen, then.” Tears choked Kiedra, squeezing her voice down to a whisper.

  Axe pulled Kiedra against his body, holding her as tremors wracked her body.

  “Don’t do that, Kiki. Don’t blame yourself for doing exactly what Mamma would have wanted you to do. If she’d been home, she’d have been at that stove with me.”

  “I didn’t say goodbye. When we left yesterday, I didn’t say goodbye.”

  “And she didn’t want to hear it. Don’t glorify her. Mamma was mean and hard right down to her core.”

  Kiedra clung to Axe’s waist, her face turned into his plaid shirt. He smelled of woodsmoke and bacon and maple syrup. She turned so her ear lay against his chest and listened to the steady thump-thump-thump of his heart. Something warm and real flared in her gut.

  “We better go do what needs to be done,” Axe said and started to untangle himself, but Kiedra held on.

  “Just a minute more,” she muttered against his chest. She sighed as Axe’s arms closed around her again.

  “I’ll hold you as long as you let me,” Axe said. He kissed the top of her head.

  Kiedra turned her face up to his and Axe lowered his lips to meet hers. The kiss was everything a first kiss between old friends should be. Hot, impatient and tentative at the same time. Breathless, Kiedra pulled back.

  “I’ve wanted to do that since we were sixteen,” she said.

  “Me too.” Axe grinned down at her. “It’s not the time or place, but we need to talk. Soon.”

  “Yeah.” Kiedra stepped back, but only far enough to take Axe’s hand.

  As they turned toward the front of the hospital, Kiedra spotted Alice standing, arms crossed and face tight, at the door.

  “Funny time to be smooching in the parking lot, don’t you think, Kiki?” Alice spat as they passed into the lobby.

  Kiedra ducked her head, but Axe shook his head and scowled at Alice.

  “Don’t you do that, Kiki. Alice is just jealous because I wouldn’t take her to the Grange dance last month. Right, Alice? That has to be it, because I know you wouldn’t be trying to score points off the woman who just lost the only mother she’s ever known.”

  “I...well, no, of course not,” Alice stammered. She seemed to remember she had a job to do as they approached her desk. “Go ahead up. Roland’s already up there with some of the others.”

  Kiedra turned to Alice. “Did you delay calling me for a reason, or are you just cruel for no good reason?”

  “You’re not Pack. Roland said call the Pack. I called the Pack.”

  “But you saved me for last?” Axe snarled. “You really are a bitch, Alice.”

  Axe led Kiedra to the elevators and stabbed the button before crossing his arms over his chest. When the elevator doors had closed, shutting out the falsely cheerful music from the lobby speakers, he leaned his head against the wall.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Don’t be. It was as much a slap in my face as it was to you. She’s always hated me...and our relationship.”

  Axe turned and locked eyes with Kiedra. “Is that what we have? A relationship?”

  “Of course. We’ve been family for most of my life.”

  “Family. Right.” Axe looked away, but Kiedra turned his face toward hers.

  “We can’t be anything else, Axe. You’re competing for alpha. If you win−”

  “I’ll imprint. Right. And if I lose?”

  Kiedra rose up on her toes and kissed his lips. Sweetness poured down her spine and she smiled up at Axe. While her eyes pulled int
o focus, his had locked on something over her shoulder.

  Roland cleared his throat. “Glad you could join us, Axe. And I see you’ve brought Kiki too.”

  As her shoulders rolled forward, a little voice inside asked, “What the hell are you doing? You’ve done nothing wrong. Stand up straight, girl!”

  Kiedra straightened her shoulders and turned to face the music.

  ROLAND stood near the door to Sylvia’s room. Behind him, Hawk and many of the same people from the bar the night before, spread out like an honor guard. Hawk, in particular, held her gaze with flames behind his eyes. Kiedra started to drop her eyes when Axe grabbed her hand.

  “Roland,” Axe said, nodding his head in a kind of bow.

  “You know it can’t be, Axe. Why are you even dabbling with her?”

  “Dabbling with me?” Kiedra clenched her jaw. “What the hell does that even mean, Roland? And who are you to say...”

  Axe jerked her hand so hard Kiedra stumbled back. When Axe’s arm curved around her shoulders and pulled her against him, she wasn’t sure if he was holding her back, or protecting her from Roland and the rest of the Pack.

  Roland leaned in close so only Axe and Kiedra could hear him.

  “You’re grieving, so I’ll forgive your...indiscretion just this once. But I am going to answer your question. I am Alpha, until the next one is chosen, and as long as I am Alpha, I will be obeyed.”

  “I’m not Pack. You can’t...” Axe clenched his arm and stopped Kiedra from speaking.

  “I understand, Alpha,” Axe said. He made sure to speak loudly enough for the group of men who still watched Roland’s back.

  “You better.” Roland straightened and took a step back. “And so there is no confusion about what is or is not acceptable, I will be clear.”

  Roland pointed first at Kiedra and then at Axe. “I forbid this. Until the Contest, I forbid the taking of any mate by any contestant.” He looked over his shoulder at Hawk. “Am I clear?”

  The contestants, including Axe and Hawk, chorused, “Yes, Alpha!”

  Roland turned back to Kiedra. “Am I clear, Kiedra?”

  “Yes, Roland. You’ve made yourself clear.”

  “Good. Now go and say your goodbyes. The undertaker will be here soon to prepare Sylvia for the ceremony.”

  Roland moved aside so Axe and Kiedra could get to Sylvia’s door. Kiedra let go of Axe’s hand and crossed the threshold into the dimly lit room. Sylvia lay still and silent on the bed. The buzz and whir of machines that had been so loud the day before, stood silent and dark. Kiedra stopped about a foot from the bed, unable to get any closer to the body of the woman who had raised her.

  “Oh, Mamma,” she whispered.

  Axe stepped up beside the bed and tried to take Kiedra’s hand, but she snatched it back.

  “Don’t. Just don’t.”

  “Kiki...”

  Kiedra turned her face up to him, eyes blazing. Axe jerked back.

  “They had to have known. I should have been called sooner. I had the right to be here with her. I should have been here with her.”

  “Kiki, the Pack...”

  “I don’t give two shits about the Pack. They obviously don’t care about me.”

  Kiedra turned back to Sylvia’s body. She reached out and brushed a lock of hair off her forehead and took a deep, quavering breath.

  “She never said she loved me. Never told me how I ended up going to her when my parents were killed. She never called once I left. Not until I heard she was dying, and I needed to come. There was so much she didn’t say, but I wanted—needed—to say goodbye. She couldn’t even give me that.”

  Her shoulders slumped and Kiedra dashed the tears from her cheeks with angry fists. Axe lay his hand on her shoulder and rather than pulling away, Kiedra turned into his body and wrapped her arms around his waist.

  “Mamma was never one to talk about anything, but she did talk about you,” Axe said. “She told anyone who’d listen how proud she was of you. Of you leaving and going to college. Of you not coming back, but going to Seattle instead. She loved you. You know she did.”

  Kiedra looked at the woman on the bed. Memories rose up and took her from the cold, clinical hospital. She saw herself stepping out of the van that had taken her to Mamma’s farm. She remembered standing beside the vehicle, clutching her teddy bear and trying not to cry.

  MAMMA stepped out on the front porch, her hands white with flour. The apron she wore over her simple, comfortable clothes was green and covered in small, pink flowers.

  “That her?” Sylvia called to the social worker who stood beside Kiedra.

  “Yes, Ms. Butters. This is Kiedra.”

  Mamma pulled a towel from where it hung at her waist and cleaned her hands. She took the stairs down to the yard and crossed to where Kiedra stood. She hunkered down to put herself on eye level with the child.

  “You call me Mamma, ya here?” She kept her eyes locked with Kiedra’s.

  “Yes, ma’am...Mamma.”

  “What’s your bear’s name?”

  Kiedra held the stuffed animal out to the older woman. “His name is William. My daddy gave him to me.”

  Mamma shook the arm of the bear. “Pleasure to meet you, William. I hope you like biscuits and gravy, ‘cause that’s what we’re having for breakfast today.”

  “He likes biscuits with butter best,” Kiedra said.

  “I think we can make that happen. Maybe an egg to go with it?”

  “He likes that a lot.”

  “Good.” Mamma stood and looked to the social worker. “The paperwork is all in order?”

  “Yes. I’ll come out a few times over the next few weeks and then once a year until the adoption is finalized—if that’s what you want.”

  “It’s what I want. You want some biscuits and gravy?”

  The social worker shook her head. “No, thank you. I’ve got to get back to the office. Would you like help with her bags?”

  “I think we can handle that ourselves, right Kiki?”

  Kiedra’s eyes went wide. “My daddy called me Kiki. How did you know?”

  “I just know things. Now take that bag from the nice lady and take it into the house. Then we can have breakfast with your William.”

  Kiedra took the small bag from the social worker and walked up to the front door of the house. She turned back to see Mamma wiping her face with the towel she’d cleaned the flour from her hands with. The child didn’t understand why the flour stuck to Mamma’s face in streaks down the older woman’s cheeks.

  “She cried. The day I came to her, she was crying.” Kiedra’s soft voice was filled with wonder.

  “She loved you so much, Kiki. She was just terrible at expressing it.” Axe squeezed Kiedra once and then set her away from himself. He looked over his shoulder, drawing Kiedra’s attention to Roland standing in the doorway.

  “Sylvia couldn’t have loved you more if she had birthed you herself, Kiki. Believe it.” Roland joined Kiedra and Axe at the bedside. “She loved you. She loved the Pack. She wanted you to love the Pack too.”

  Kiedra’s body tensed. “I...how can you say that to me when you didn’t call to tell me she was in crisis? You robbed me of the chance to say goodbye. You took something precious from me.”

  “I told Alice to call the Pack. When you weren’t here, I thought−”

  “I left my life in Seattle and you thought I wouldn’t be here for her end when I was just down the road?” Kiedra shook her head. “If you wanted Alice to let me know, maybe you should have told her you consider me to be Pack.”

  “She didn’t call you?”

  “I was in the parking lot when she got around to it.”

  “I thought she’d call you first,” Roland said. “I’ll see she’s punished. She had no right.”

  Kiedra waved a dismissive hand. “It doesn’t matter now, does it.” She took a deep breath. “What do I need to do next? What do we do for her now?”

  Roland sighed. “The body wil
l be taken to our mortuary, so it’s prepared correctly. The ceremony will be tomorrow night. It’s new moon. The perfect time.”

  “Can I be there?” Kiedra tried to keep the emotion from her voice, but she knew Roland could hear her desperation and sorrow.

  “It couldn’t happen without you.” Roland’s hand was heavy on her shoulder.

  Kiedra shook off Roland’s hand. “When and where? I want that from you, so I’m not surprised again.”

  Roland nodded. “I deserved that. We’ll meet at full dark at the Greensward. Axe knows the way.”

  “Then we’ll be there. Don’t start without us.”

  “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  Kiedra stalked out of the room and stabbed the elevator button repeatedly until Axe grasped her hand and pulled her away from it.

  “It’s coming. Breaking a finger isn’t going to get us out of here any faster,” Axe said.

  “I need air. Get me out of here. Now!”

  Axe bent and scooped Kiedra up. He walked to the stairwell door, kicked it open, and walked down the stairs. They reached the lobby before Kiedra recovered herself enough to struggle in his arms.

  “Put me down, you oaf!”

  Axe set her on her feet and grinned down at her. “You said now. I did now.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Leave it to you to use logic against me when I just want to be angry.”

  “I do suck like that.”

  “I’m so...,” she shook her head. “I’m angry and sad and lost, Axe. What am I going to do?”

  “You’re going to let me take you home. You’re going to take a hot bath and cry while I cook something. Then we’re going to get drunk and toast Mamma all night.”

  Tears filled Kiedra’s eyes. “That’s perfect. Take me home.”

  “Anytime, my lady.”

  “You guys are so cute! Axe, what did Roland think of you two getting together?” Alice’s voice cut into the momentary reprieve Kiedra had had from the crushing grief.

  Anger rushed in to fill her soul from top to bottom. Kiedra turned on Alice, eyes blazing, teeth bared.