The Human Omega

by J. L. Wilder

  “I don’t know what to do now,” she said. “It doesn’t matter what happens now. I lose.”

  “How so?”

  “You heard the council. If I say no to Hawk, the Pack abjures me, and I have to leave.”

  “So we leave.”

  Kiedra’s head snapped up. “What are you saying?”

  Axe shrugged. “If you leave, I’m going with you.”

  “But the Pack will abjure you too. I can’t ask that of you.”

  “You’re not asking. I’m offering.” Axe picked up Kiedra’s shirt and handed it to her. “Here, let’s get dressed and go home. We can talk more then.”

  Kiedra pulled the shirt over her head. She rolled out of Axe’s lap and stood up to pull on her pants. Axe dressed beside her. He leaned in to kiss her as he buttoned the top of his jeans.

  “Don’t cry. We’ve got this.” He took her hand and led her out of the Greensward.

  “Kiki, wake up. We’re home.”

  Kiedra opened her eyes, squinting against the sun shining into the windshield. She struggled to sit up, shaking her head and trying to make sense of the turmoil in her brain.

  “Did I dream it?”

  “No. It was real.”

  The sympathetic tone of Axe’s voice almost started her tears again. She clamped down on her emotions and got out of the car. He followed her to the front door. She unlocked the door, but didn’t push it open.

  “I can’t do this. I really don’t think I can do this,” she said.

  Axe pushed the door open and pulled her into the house. He didn’t stop until they reached the kitchen. He sat Kiedra at the kitchen table and went rummaging through the refrigerator. Kiedra lay her head on her arms on the table and watched as Axe pulled eggs, milk, and bread out.

  “Cinnamon?” he asked.

  “If there’s any in the spice cabinet...I don’t know.”

  Axe dug through the spice cabinet. “Success!”

  He started measuring and mixing at the counter, leaving Kiedra to her thoughts. Axe lay the first two pieces of French toast in the pan to fry and turned his attention to her.

  “All right. Tell me what you’re thinking.” He leaned on the counter where he could keep an eye on breakfast.

  Kiedra sighed and sat up. “I keep thinking about Mamma, actually.”

  “What about her?”

  “How disappointed she’d be in me right now.”

  Axe snorted. “Bullshit. She was always proud of you.”

  “But I’m planning to leave Whiteridge and the Pack. And if I understood you earlier, I’m taking you from your home and your Pack.” Kiedra shook her head. “She wouldn’t want that. She always hoped I’d find some way to be happy here with the Pack.”

  Axe flipped the French toast before crossing to Kiedra’s side. He knelt in front of her and took her face in his hands.

  “I want you to hear this and believe it, okay?” She nodded and he continued.

  “Mamma was tough on you. Sometimes, I thought too tough, but like everyone else in this town, I didn’t think I had the right to say so. Mamma was Mamma. She was a law unto herself.” Axe gave her a sad smile. “But no matter how tough she was, no one ever doubted that she wanted the very best for you. Sure, she wanted you to be part of the Pack because that was where her heart lay, but after you left...,” he shrugged. “When you went away to school, she’d invite me over for breakfast some weekends. At first, I thought it was because she thought I wasn’t eating enough, but later I realized it was because she wanted to talk to someone about you...someone she knew cared about you too.”

  “The French toast is burning,” Kiedra said.

  “Damn!” Axe jumped up and rushed to the stove. He dumped the burnt toast onto a plate and put the plate on the back porch. He turned off the stove and left the hot pan on a cool burner on the stove.

  “How about if I finish after we talk?”

  “That’s probably best,” Kiedra said, hiding a smile behind her hand.

  “Don’t you laugh. You laugh and you have to do the dishes.”

  “I’m not laughing,” she said before laughter bubbled up.

  Axe shook his head. “No respect. I get no respect from you.”

  He went back to kneel in front of Kiedra. “Where was I?”

  “Eating with Mamma and talking about me, apparently.”

  “Right. So we would talk about the latest news she had from you. What classes you were taking. The plans you had for the future. That sort of thing. Then she would tell me that maybe the time for the Pack to die out had come.”

  “What?”

  Axe nodded. “It shocked the hell out of me, too, but she really thought that maybe the Pack had lived through its usefulness. She saw my generation of possible Alphas and she was disappointed.”

  “She was never disappointed in you, Axe.”

  “I don’t know. Sometimes she was, but not in this instance. She told me more than once that I was the only young man she thought showed Alpha potential. As for an Omega, she was certain there wasn’t one among the young women of the Pack.”

  Axe took Kiedra’s hand. He looked at the palm, tracing his finger over the lines he found there. “She thought you would have made an amazing Omega. She told me that once.”

  He spoke with an affected, gravelly voice that was eerily close to Sylvia’s voice. “Axe, you would be an Alpha for the legends if you had an Omega like Kiki by your side.”

  Axe shrugged. “She wanted the best for the both of us, but she also didn’t believe that meant staying with the Pack.”

  “She told you to leave the Pack? I don’t believe that.”

  “She never said it in so many words, no, but she did tell me that being happy was more important than being loyal to a dying Pack.”

  Kiedra’s head felt heavy with fatigue and new information. From the moment Hawk had claimed she was the Omega, the only thing she’d been able to think of was how she had to learn to live with Hawk or lose everything Sylvia would have wanted for her. It felt like it would be too convenient for her to accept what Axe was telling her now. It gave her an out, but was that really what she wanted?

  She’d been ready to be Axe’s Omega. To stay with him and defy the Pack if necessary, but to stay in Whiteridge and do what she could to help the Pack improve and survive. Could she really take from the Pack one of the only young men who truly could make a difference to the future of the Pack?

  “I think I need...Hell, I don’t know what I need. I feel like my head is going to explode. I want to do the right thing, but I don’t want to give up my life. And I certainly don’t want to give you up.”

  Kiedra cupped Axe’s face with her palms and kissed him. The passion that had burned between them in the Greensward flared briefly before banking to a low burn that was more sustainable. Axe returned the kiss with no hesitation.

  “I won’t give you up,” he said.

  “You might have to.” She stood up, pulling Axe up with her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head against his chest. He held her, running his hands up and down her back.

  “I have to do the right thing, Axe. I just don’t know what that is. Not yet.”

  “I understand. Really. But I want you to know that I will support whatever choice you make. I’m willing to leave. There’s no one left here for me. My family is gone. Mamma is gone. If you go with Hawk...” he trailed off. Axe took a deep, shuddering breath. “If you choose Hawk, you’ll be gone to me. There’s nothing left to hold me here.”

  “Would you leave if I stayed?” She couldn’t keep the sound of tears from her voice.

  Axe looked down at her. “No. I couldn’t leave you to the wolves, literally. If you stay, you’ll need allies. I’d stay.”

  She reached up on her toes to kiss him. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “Because you think you don’t, that’s why you do. I love you, Kiki. I think I may have loved you since we were kids, but I know it now. I will always do whatever is in my p
ower to see you’re safe and happy.”

  He stepped back, laying his hands on her shoulders. “Go upstairs, run a hot bath. I’ll bring you French toast when it’s done and then I’ll leave so Hawk doesn’t have an aneurism when he comes calling.”

  “Can’t you stay? Please?”

  “Roland will have my ass if I don’t give Hawk a real chance. At least this first day. You call me when he leaves and I’ll come right back, okay?”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  Kiedra kissed him once more, lingering on the taste and feel of his lips before releasing him and turning away. Axe followed her to the hallway and watched her climb the stairs.

  Chapter Eight

  Hawk stood at the front door gripping a small bouquet of flowers so tightly that they trembled. Kiedra hesitated before stepping to the side.

  “Come on in, Hawk.”

  “Thanks.” He crossed the threshold, looking around with great interest. He stopped in the entrance way and waited.

  “Would you like to sit? In the living room?”

  “Sure.”

  When he didn’t move, Kiedra sighed. She walked into the living room and took the wing-back chair that sat across from the couch. Hawk sat on the couch and stared around, seemingly mesmerized by the house. After a moment, he looked at the flowers in his hand and thrust them toward Kiedra.

  “These’re for you,” he said. He fidgeted, trying to find a comfortable place to put his hands. Finally, he settled on crossing his arms over his chest. His leather jacket creaked with his movements.

  “Thanks.” Kiedra took the flowers, holding them awkwardly. “Can I get you something? Coffee, soda?”

  “Um, sure. That’d be nice.”

  Kiedra got up and walked to the kitchen. Hawk followed like a lost child.

  “I haven’t been in this house in a long time,” he said. “Mamma never liked me much. She didn’t invite me in like she always did for Axe.”

  He whistled in appreciation when they stepped into the kitchen. “I forgot how big it is.”

  “Yeah.” Kiedra had no idea what to say to Hawk.

  Sylvia’s house was larger than a lot of houses in and around Whiteridge. It was older than a lot of them too. Kiedra knew a lot of the Pack members lived in trailers at one of several trailer parks in town.

  “I guess we’d live here, huh?” Hawk sat down at the table. “I’m still living in the trailer with my dad.”

  Kiedra bit her tongue. The last thing she wanted was to think about where she’d live as Hawk’s Omega. The very thought of it made her want to drop the flowers and run for her bedroom where she could hide under the covers until everything was right with the world again.

  She looked over her shoulder as she filled the vase she’d taken from the top of the refrigerator. Hawk sat at the table, his back as straight as if someone had glued a yard stick to it. He looked around the room, pausing only to look more closely at something. His eyes were wide and avaricious as he took in the working appliances and china cabinet filled with dishes.

  She set the vase in the middle of the table, catching Hawk staring at her breasts. She straightened and turned away, so the view wasn’t quite as good.

  “Thank you for the flowers,” she said. “They’re pretty.”

  Hawk shrugged. “Dad reminded me. He said girls like flowers.”

  He pointed around the kitchen. “Never knew Mamma had money. Always thought she was like the rest of us. Living paycheck to paycheck, you know?”

  Kiedra shrugged. “We had what we needed, but nothing more, really. Surely, with what your dad makes, you guys weren’t hurting.”

  “I don’t know. It’d been nice to have some stuff like this. Matching plates that weren’t paper. That crystal is pretty.”

  Kiedra ground her teeth and tried to change the subject. Knowing what she did from the lawyer, she didn’t want to talk to Hawk about money or what she inherited from Mamma. She opened the fridge and peered inside. “I’ve got coke, or I can make coffee?”

  “Coke is fine.”

  She took a can from the fridge and offered it to Hawk. “Want a glass?”

  “Nah, I can drink it from the can.”

  Kiedra sat across from Hawk at the table. She knew she should try for small talk, but she didn’t have the energy. Axe had brought her breakfast in the tub and fed her French toast bite by bite when she was too tired to lift her arms out of the hot water. He’d raised her up, dried her off and carried her to bed. The heavy quilt had felt so good when Axe laid it over her. She’d closed her eyes, felt him kiss her and had slipped into sleep without another breath. She’d stayed unconscious until the phone had rung. Hawk calling to ask is he could come over was the only thing that could have gotten her out of bed.

  Hawk shifted in his chair. “Look,” he said. “I know this isn’t easy for you. I know you don’t like me.”

  “You’ve never given me a reason to like you, Hawk. You used to pull my hair when we were little, and you never grew up from there.”

  “That’s not true!”

  “It is and you know it is,” Kiedra said. “I don’t understand why you chose me.”

  “It’s not a choice. It’s the knowledge of the Alpha. Only an Alpha knows who his Omega is.”

  “You could have chosen anyone. Leslie would have been ecstatic to be your Omega. She’s ready to pop out pups the second you take her to bed. She’d have been happy with you.”

  “Probably, yeah.”

  “Then why me? And don’t give me some mystical bullshit.”

  “I don’t know what you expect me to say, Kiki. You’re my Omega.”

  “But I don’t want to be. And there are women who do want to be. I bet if you go to the council and tell them you made a mistake, they’d let you choose one of the women of the Pack.”

  “Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. It’s you and me, or I’m not Alpha. I’m not giving that up.”

  “So because you decided you wanted me, we’re both caught in this trap of yours.”

  “Seems so.” Hawk got up and circled the table to where Kiedra sat. He hunkered down beside her chair and met her gaze head on. “You’re the Omega. Get used to it. I have to have you in order to take my dad’s place in the Pack, so I’m not giving you up. Get used to that. You promised my father that you’d give this a go. I’m going to hold you to your word.”

  “So I’ve got no choice?”

  “None. Not if you’re going to live up to your promise to my dad.”

  A fine trembling started in Kiedra’s gut and spread like wildfire through her body until she was visibly trembling. Hawk put his hand on her arm and she shied away.

  “Look, I made a promise too. I promised I would court you. I brought you flowers. I thought that was a good start. How about I take you out tonight, maybe? Dinner at the bar? Let me fulfill my promise.”

  Hawk smiled. It was the first genuine smile Kiedra could remember. It softened his features, taking the edge off a little so she could relax.

  She shrugged. “I guess that would be okay.”

  “Is there somewhere you’d rather go?” Hawk ducked his head a little. “I really want to do this right, Kiki. Tell me what you want to do, and I’ll make it happen, okay?”

  Kiedra sighed. Hawk really seemed to be trying. Since she hadn’t made up her mind to walk away, she owed him the chance to prove he was more than the douchebag he’d always been to her.

  “Okay. I’m okay going to the bar. They have decent food, still?”

  “Yeah. They make great steaks, actually.”

  “Then let’s go for it,” she said. Kiedra smiled and tried to soften her attitude toward him.

  Hawk nodded. He downed the soda and let out a monumental belch. Kiedra laughed.

  “You’re still twelve, aren’t you?”

  “Well, maybe fifteen now.” He grinned. “Shall we go?” He held out his arm. Kiedra stood and took it.

  “Sure. Let’s get the public reveal over with before the anticipa
tion kills us both.”

  “It’s not the anticipation I’m worried about. It’s Leslie. She’s not subtle.”

  “You can say that again. We’ll be lucky to escape with our lives.”

  KIEDRA wondered if there’d ever be a time when she walked into the bar when conversation didn’t stop. It wasn’t this time, that was for certain.

  Hawk held her hand at his elbow and walked her to a table near the far wall. He held a chair for her and then sat beside her at the table.

  “Go back to whatever you were doing, dipshits!” Hawk snarled before he handed Kiedra a menu and opened his own.

  Bodies shifted in chairs and conversation rumbled through the gathered Pack members. Kiedra held the menu up like a shield.

  “I expected this, but damn...”

  “They’ll get over it.” Hawk turned and glared at a few folks who still stared. “Or they’ll get an ass whupping.”

  The last holdouts who had been eyeing the couple ducked their heads and turned away.

  Kiedra looked at the menu. At least the prices seemed reasonable. She could feel a little less guilty about letting Hawk pay. Because she hadn’t dealt with the paperwork from the lawyer, she hadn’t been to the bank yet. There was only about a hundred dollars in her personal checking account and she needed it there to cover the autopay bill for her cable at the apartment in Seattle.

  “You can order whatever you like,” Hawk said with a self-satisfied smirk. “Even the surf and turf if you want it. Although there aren’t many lobsters in Montana, so I can’t guarantee it’ll be edible.”

  She tried to smile, but what came out was closer to a grimace. This wasn’t going well at all. She really just didn’t know how not to dislike Hawk. She had too many memories, and a few new bruises, to remind her how awful he’d been toward her up to this point. She didn’t trust him not to revert to his selfish, destructive self the moment the marriage was legal, and he was Alpha.

  “Hey, Kiki, good to see you,” Harry said as he approached the table.

  Kiedra grinned up at Harry. Harry had been serving and sometimes bartending at the bar since long before she’d been allowed in legally. Now, the man smiling down at her was old, grey, and bent. He limped heavily, though she’d never worked up the nerve to ask him where the limp had come from.