The Human Omega

by J. L. Wilder

  “It’s beautiful,” Kiedra said. She stood up and turned to show off the dress. “Probably the most perfect dress for me.”

  “You’re right, but why the waterworks?”

  “Because I’m not buying it to wear when I marry the man I love. I’m buying it to wear...”

  Emily came into the showroom with a glass of water. She handed it to Kiedra and stood back to look at the dress.

  “It’s perfect,” she said, beaming.

  “You’ve found the right dress, Emily. Thank you.”

  “My pleasure. Does that mean you’ll take it?”

  Kiedra nodded. “Yes. I’ll need it fitted by Friday.”

  “This Friday? Impossible!”

  “I have complete faith in you, Emily,” Kiedra said.

  Emily started to shake her head, but then really looked at Kiedra in the dress. “It fits like it was made for you. Did you want some alteration done?”

  Kiedra smiled and shook her head. “I knew you could have it ready for me.”

  “You’re a bad girl, Kiedra Foster!” Emily’s hand fluttered near her throat. “You had me going. Let me get the paperwork started while you change back into your clothes.”

  Emily dashed back into the storeroom, leaving Kiedra and Olivia alone. Kiedra headed for the dressing room, but Olivia’s hand on her arm stopped her.

  “We’re not finished talking.”

  “I didn’t think we were.”

  OLIVIA and Kiedra exited the dress shop together. Behind them, Emily was hanging the dress on a rack in preparation of covering it with a garment bag.

  “My car is over there,” Olivia said, pointing to an old Mercedes. “We’d have privacy.”

  “Sure,” Kiedra said. She followed Olivia to her car, getting in on the passenger side.

  Olivia slipped into the driver’s seat. She twisted so she could see Kiedra comfortably.

  “All right, start with the part about Hawk and money.”

  Kiedra told Olivia everything she knew about Hawk and his knowledge of the inheritance.

  “Both Alice and Leslie claimed to have knowledge of this?” Olivia asked.

  “Yes. And Hawk didn’t deny it.”

  Olivia’s silence ground against Kiedra’s raw nerves. She watched the older woman for several minutes before finally breaking the silence between them.

  “Has this ever happened before? An Alpha choosing an Omega for reasons other than love?”

  Olivia blanched. “I...we don’t have record...shit.” Olivia scrambled in her purse for her cell phone. She pulled it out and then gave Kiedra a pointed look.

  “I’m sorry, Kiki. I’ve got to call the other council members. We have to talk things over.”

  Kiedra opened the car door and swung her legs out. She turned back, bending down to see Olivia in the driver’s seat.

  “Do I get to know what the outcome is?”

  “Definitely. I’ll see you Friday night.”

  Kiedra closed the car door. She heard Olivia say, “Heather, we need to get the boys together at my place tonight,” before she walked away to get in her car.

  She locked the car and leaned her head back on the headrest. The image of herself in the dress rose behind her closed lids. The candlelight color had given her skin a glow she’d never seen on herself before. The ecstatic smile that had been her first reaction had been something else she’d never seen on herself. But then reality had crashed her parade.

  She wasn’t trying on dresses for her wedding to Axe. It wasn’t him who would stand beside her in the Greensward under the waning moon. He’d be there, but not by her side, and that might hurt more than anything else. He would always be right there, just out of reach.

  She knew, despite any bravado she might show to Hawk or anyone else, that she would go through with the wedding to Hawk because she truly wanted what was best for the Pack. She wasn’t Pack, but Mamma had always made sure Kiedra honored the Pack. She’d roll out of her grave and haunt Kiedra to the ends of the earth if she left the Pack without an Omega and Axe.

  She sat up and cranked the key in the ignition. The old car rumbled to life. She put it in gear and pulled out of the space, turning toward home.

  She wanted to know what the council could be discussing. Should she bother getting her hopes up that there might be a way out of this that didn’t involve dishonoring the Pack or leaving Whiteridge? Or was she better just resigning herself to her fate?

  Hope was so destructive, she thought. Why did everyone seem to think hope was a positive thing to have?

  Kiedra rolled the problems over and over in her mind, but nothing new came to mind. She was still exactly where she’d started. Stuck between duty and desire. Between love and disdain.

  She pulled the car into the drive, unsurprised to find Hawk’s bike parked in front of the house. The man himself sat on the steps and stood up as she pulled the car to a stop.

  Hawk raised an awkward hand in a wave. “Hi, Kiki,” he called.

  She got out of the car. “Why are you here, Hawk?”

  He walked down the steps, reaching Kiedra before she passed the end of her car. He blocked her way and leaned on the hood of the car.

  “I thought we might be able to talk now that we’re both calmer.”

  She shook her head. “Hawk, I’ve had a really emotional day. I just want to go inside and get comfortable. Can we do this another time?”

  “No. I need to know what you’re going to do on Friday. Are we getting married or not?”

  “I bought a dress today,” Kiedra said.

  Hawk’s eyes lit up. “Really? That’s great. Really great.”

  He hugged Kiedra, then kissed her until she struggled against him.

  “Hawk!” Kiedra yanked his hair.

  He yowled and released her. “Damn it, Kiki. You’re gonna have to get used to kissing me some time, you know.”

  “Yeah. I know.”

  “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m glad you made the right decision. For both of us. You don’t know what it’s like for a wolf without his Pack. Axe would have left you or killed himself within a year.”

  “Jesus, Hawk. You sure know how to make a girl feel better.”

  “It’s the truth. We’ve had a few wolves who left or were abjured. They’re all dead now. Died within a year of leaving the Pack. Dad says it’s because we need each other on like a cellular level.”

  Hawk walked over to his motorcycle and got on. He pulled on his helmet and turned back to Kiedra.

  “Anyway, I’m real glad you chose to stay with me. It won’t be so bad. You’ll see. I grow on people.”

  Hawk kickstarted the bike, bringing it to roaring life. The low idle roared, filling the air with its deep vibrations. Hawk raised his hand to Kiedra and peeled out of the driveway, kicking up gravel as he went.

  Kiedra circled the car and jerked the passenger-side door open. She scraped all the papers back into the folder and clutched it to her chest. Inside the house, she tossed the folder onto the kitchen table.

  She was bent over, digging in the refrigerator for a beer when she heard Axe’s truck rumble into the driveway. The front door creaked open.

  “Honey, I’m home!” Axe bellowed.

  She turned to the doorway as he came in. She was on her feet and in his arms before he made it across the threshold.

  “Whoa, what’s this?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

  “I’m glad you’re home, that’s all.”

  “Then I’m glad to be home.” Axe kissed her and held her until she eased up her grip on him.

  “You have plans for tonight?” she asked him.

  “None. Whatcha got in mind?

  She whispered several options to him, grinning all the while. When she stopped talking, he scooped her up and ran up the stairs with her in his arms.

  KIEDRA lay in bed, her head resting on Axe’s chest. She trailed her fingers up and down his chest and stomach, smiling when he sucked in a breath.

  “If
you plan to sleep tonight, you need to stop that.” Axe gasped again when her fingers trailed lower than his waist.

  “Do we really need sleep?”

  She propped herself up, crossing her arms on his chest and resting her chin on her arms. Axe grinned and kissed her.

  “I still have to work, so yes, I need sleep.” He playfully slapped her butt. “I’d give it up for you, but I still need it.”

  “Did you say you’d get it up for me?”

  Axe growled and suddenly, she was on her back, looking up at him. He settled between her legs, letting her feel there was no doubt he could do what she’d said.

  “Don’t tempt me, vixen.” He nipped at her neck before settling himself on top of her and wrapping her in his arms.

  Kiedra’s hands roamed up and down his back and buttocks. She nibbled and bit along his neck and shoulders, smiling the whole time. Axe rolled to his side, taking her with him.

  “You want to tell me what got you all riled up today?” Axe asked.

  “I can’t just want to jump your bones when you walk in the door?”

  “You can,” Axe kissed her, “jump me anytime you like.” He kissed her again, and then lay back so she could curl into his side.

  “I’d still like to know what happened, though,” he said.

  “I bought a wedding dress,” she said.

  Axe let the silence stretch out between them until Kiedra put her thoughts together.

  “It’s beautiful. Heavy satin, so smooth it gave me goosebumps. A lovely candlelight color that looks good with my skin tone. It’s everything a girl like me could want in a wedding gown.”

  “Except...” Axe prompted when she fell silent again.

  She leaned up so she could look into his eyes. “Except it’s for the wrong wedding.”

  Kiedra sat up. She wrapped her arms around her knees and leaned her head down.

  “I stood there, in front of the mirror, with Olivia watching from the couch in that white on white on white showroom. I saw in her eyes how gorgeous the dress was on me. I saw myself standing in the Greensward, Roland dressed in a suit, holding a book, ready to say the words...” she trailed off.

  Axe waited in silence, unwilling to push her. He reached out and she clasped his hand in her own. Her thumb worried the back of his hand, rubbing in circles until she was ready to speak—to finish her story.

  “Everyone was there to see the wedding, but it was the wrong groom.” Kiedra sat up straight. “It was Hawk coming toward me, not you. Suddenly, it didn’t matter in the slightest how beautiful the dress was. It made no difference who was there to see the ceremony because it was a sham.”

  She stared at Axe. She felt like she needed to memorize his face. Maybe next time, the fantasy wouldn’t break. If she knew every curve, dimple, and scar on his face, maybe she could keep Hawk at bay.

  Axe sat up. He reached for her face to trace fingers over her features. She wondered if he was doing the same with her face as she was with his.

  “My chest gets tight every time I think about what’s coming Friday night,” he said. “I keep thinking something will come up. Somehow, we’ll stop this train wreck. I just haven’t figured out what I can do. Not yet.”

  Kiedra turned her face to kiss Axe’s palm. He pulled her close to kiss her lips first, then her forehead. He held her close, and she relaxed into his embrace.

  “I’m going through with it, Axe,” she whispered.

  He kiss the top of her head, breathing deeply of the scent of her hair. He turned his head and rubbed his cheek against her hair, growling so softly, the sound was little more than a rumble in his chest.

  “I knew you would,” he said. His arms tightened around her, squeezing so hard she let out a squeak of protest. His grip loosened, but when he tried to release her, she clung to him.

  “Please don’t,” she begged. “Just hold me, Axe. Lie and tell me we’ll be together.”

  He disentangled himself as gently as possible. She could feel his conflicted heart thundering under the hand she laid on his chest.

  “You’re not mine, Kiki. You’re going to marry him in,” he glanced at the bedside clock, “less than 24 hours.” He got out of bed and pulled on his jeans. “It’s not right for me to stay here. With you. Like this.”

  She got out of bed to wrap herself around him. She clung to him as though he were a literal lifesaver and not just a figurative one. Axe let himself hold her for a moment before stepping back.

  “I can’t do this without you,” she said. “I’m doing this for you too. You knew what happened to the wolves who left the Pack when you agreed to leave with me. You knew it might kill you. I couldn’t live with that.”

  “But you can live as Hawk’s Omega?”

  “Would you rather I kill myself?” she spat.

  “Of course not! But don’t convince yourself that you’re doing this for me. I’m willing to leave with you. I’m willing to risk the wasting that comes when a wolf disconnects from the Pack so we can leave. If you’re not willing to help me through that, don’t say staying is for my benefit when it’s clearly for yours.”

  Kiedra tried to breathe around the twisting, wrenching pain in her chest. Axe’s rigid face froze and then cracked as hers crumbled. He reached for her, but she held him off with a raised hand.

  “Kiki...”

  She shook her head. “Don’t.”

  She turned her back to him and took the first step toward her closet. She meant to pull on some clothes, but she stumbled on the first step and went to her knees. Rather than get up and face her loss, she curled her body in on itself and let the pain and misery wash over her.

  Axe was on his knees beside her before the first tear made it more than halfway down her cheek.

  “Jesus, Kiki. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  She pushed his hands away. “Go away. Just get out.”

  “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it. How could I? I love you.”

  Kiedra came up swinging. Her flailing fists connected with various parts of Axe’s body until he caught them in his strong hands and held them so she couldn’t hurt either of them.

  “Let me go!” She struggled in his grasp, freeing one hand long enough to punch Axe on the chin.

  His head snapped back. He came back up with eyes blazing.

  “Enough!” He bellowed. “Kiedra Marianne Foster, you will stop this ridiculous behavior right now!”

  Axe’s tone was enough to shock her into silence. She stared at him for half a heart beat and then burst out laughing.

  “What the hell are you laughing at?”

  “You sounded like Mamma just now.” Kiedra sniggered, then burst into a full-bellied laugh yet again.

  “You’ve lost your mind, woman.” Axe let go of Kiedra’s wrists, backing away so she couldn’t punch him again. He sat on the edge of the bed. “What is all,” he waved at her, “this?”

  Kiedra got herself up off the floor. She finally made it to the closet, where she pulled out a robe which she slipped on. She belted it before going to stand between Axe’s knees.

  “I had no idea you knew my middle name.”

  “Mamma yelled it at you a few times when we were kids. It stuck.”

  “She was the only one who ever used it. When you yelled...” She chuckled. “You sounded just like her. It was the funniest thing...until it wasn’t.”

  The laughter drained away, leaving Kiedra with the sadness she expected would live in her heart the rest of her life. She sighed and stepped away from Axe.

  “I’d like to make you something to eat if you’re hungry. Least I can do before letting you go back to that frigid trailer you live in. Unless you’d rather stay. I’ll still cook for you.”

  She tried a smile, but knew it came out looking pained. She could feel the brittle edge of it on her own face. Axe’s answering smile was just as wrong.

  She stood by, watching as he stood and pulled his t-shirt over his head. He tucked it into his jeans and then zipped
them up. She stared at the hand he held out to her, unable to move. He shrugged and wrapped his arms around her.

  “Do you understand why I have to go?”

  “Not entirely, no.”

  “Do you think I’m a good man? A man of honor?”

  “You know I do, Axe.”

  “Then you know why I can’t stay if you’ve made up your mind that you’re going to marry another man.”

  Her arms went around his waist. She heard his heart thump steadily under her ear.

  “But I need you,” she whispered.

  “I need you too.”

  Axe held her and she let him. She stepped away first, dropping her arms from his embrace.

  “Come on. The least I can do is feed you. A last supper of sorts, I guess.”

  Kiedra didn’t wait for an answer, but instead left Axe staring after her.

  AXE sat at the kitchen table while Kiedra headed to the refrigerator. While she dug around for something to make, Axe toyed with the folder on the table. When she stood up, holding a steak and an egg carton, Axe tapped the folder with his index finger.

  “What’s this?”

  “Paperwork from the lawyer.” She put the food on the counter.

  “Don’t you need to go through this? Keep it in a safe or something?”

  Kiedra shrugged, keeping her back turned to Axe. She didn’t want to ever deal with what was in that folder. Not after seeing the photograph of her parents. There were too many parts of her life that might come crumbling down if she discovered they were part of the lies Sylvia had told her.

  She heard the rustle of paper and turned to find Axe had flipped the cover of the folder open flat on the table in front of him. He picked up the photograph.

  “Don’t!” Kiedra cried as Axe flipped the picture over.

  He looked up, mouth agape. “Are these your parents?”

  Kiedra snatched the photo from his hand to hold it against her chest. She felt as though if she pressed it hard enough into her flesh, the photo and everything it represented could be absorbed rather than dealt with.

  She shook herself. Hiding wasn’t going to make her life better or even easier. She pulled the picture away from her chest and allowed herself to really look at the faces of the man and woman.